Chapter 39
Where have you been?
Dallas
I know I could never really have her, like I want to have her, like I need to have her.
Our contract will end soon and we will both be forced to go our separate ways.
She will go back to her quaint home with Lacy, and I, I will go back to random sex with club members and nights alone at the condo, a life I normalized and accepted for so long that suddenly sounded damn lonely and cold. Repetitive. Even dull.
If I’m going to make it through the next three weeks I’m gonna have to disconnect myself from these confusing emotions and focus solely on the task I signed up for: Delaney’s introduction to the Dom/Sub relationship.
Should be easy to shield my heart considering I don’t have one.
I lost that portion of me years ago when I had Natalie ripped away from me and the rest of this cruel world.
Just as I felt myself being pulled into the puddle of self-pity I’m so very familiar with sitting in, the sound of Delaney intentionally clearing her throat brought me back from the spiralig darkness.
“Dallas, are you okay?” She asked in a small voice. I faked a smile that she couldn’t see.
“Of course, why do you ask?” I feigned ignorance and probably gave away my defensiveness by questioning her kind concern for me.
“Well uh, you haven’t said a word this entire drive and your knuckles have turned white on the steering wheel.” She gave me an adorable pointed look.
Despite my efforts to deflect her attention, I couldn’t help but feel comforted by her asking if I was okay, like she saw me, really saw me for me.
My typical harshness in tone or demeanor doesn’t phase her, not that I intend to intimidate anyone, it is just noticeable when a woman especially is… comfortable with my edge.
“I’m fine. I just have a lot of work ahead of me to make up for leaving town.
Try not to expect me to be around for the next few days.
I’ll have someone with you at all times but I think I’m going to stay at the condo tonight.
I need to be close to the club for a couple of nights.
” My words were cold and frank. I needed to get away from her magnetic pull on me to clear my head of whatever it was that I was feeling for her. It wasn’t real, it just couldn’t be…
She got quiet and fidgeted with her skirt and without looking up she replied with a nearly silent, “Okay,” her voice laced with something I could only describe as disappointment.
I needed space to disconnect and get my bearings straight. There was no time to falter now with Teddy coming after us and the club.
* * *
When I entered the club I was met right at the door by a very upset woman.
She was pacing and biting her nails but not in the nervous kind of way, rather in the ‘I’m trying not to hurt someone so I am fidgeting’ kind of way.
I recognized that body language from anywhere, especially from Miss.
Divo. Something had her wrapped in anger and I’m sure I was just about to find out what.
“Do you know what that freaking pencil dick has done now?” She snapped, gritting her teeth trying not to speak too loudly for discretion.
I pointed toward an empty meeting room and guided her into it as she continued to stew.
“Enlighten me,” I patronized her. She was small and a spit fire. Once you’ve pissed Miss Divo off she unleashed another side of her that even I could be scared of.
“I called your cell eight times, Dallas, where have you been?” She shouted, losing her cool a little each second that passed.
“Miss Rice knew where to find me,” I snapped more aggressively than I intended. I took a deep breath realizing it wasn’t her I was frustrated at nor was she frustrated with me.
“I apologize for worrying you Miss Divo, now please go on.”
“Well, I got a visit from the ABC board which is fine because they show up sporadically, they were early to inspect us but our paperwork and procedures are solid,” she stated with a knowing smirk.
She was proudly in charge of all the ‘behind the scenes’ business.
Licenses, proper protocol, legalities, labor laws, basically anything for the operations that needed to be tracked, filed, applied for etc.
she was the one to handle it. She is damn good at her job, too.
One time a health and labor inspector came to inspect the club and before he left the building she had already forced an apology and had the guy in tears because he accused her of not having one of the current Serve Safe certificates on file.
Poor guy just overlooked it but Miss Divo wasn’t having any accusations of anything less than the absolute best in this club.
I smiled to myself as I recalled the sound of squealing tires as he left the car park. Each of my girls had an important job, none more important than the other. My staff is more than staff – we have developed into a family, a family I would always defend and protect.
“So you’re upset that I missed an inspection?” I was confused by her approach when I first arrived.
“No, like I said I expected them to show, but we also had the Health Department, OSHA, The ABC, and the Commercial Fire Safety Inspector, they all showed up at once.” She looked up with fire in her eyes. Sheesh I’d hate to be at the receiving end of that fury.
“And we passed?” I was almost certain I knew the answer.
“With flying colors, come on, Dallas, this is no time to be funny.” She spit without an ounce of humor in her tone which made her statement that much funnier.
“I talked with Jeff from the fire department. You know the guy that reserves the specialty room upstairs once a month with his boyfriend? Well, he was here checking on our fire safety system, and he said there was an anonymous call made to them, stating our system wasn’t working and that the owner was aware but had no intention to fix it to safety standards.
” She was grinding her teeth as she let the words escape, fury behind her tone.
“It made me wonder about the others so I let out a little Divo charm and I found out that all of the inspectors that showed up were in fact here to respond to anonymous tips.” She stood still, watching me for a reaction.
When I didn’t give her what she wanted, she stomped her foot and crossed her arms childishly.
“Dallas! You are being way too nice about this guy who clearly is out to get you!” She raised her voice and as she did I noticed her jugular pulsating every word she said. I had to calm her down.
“Miss Divo, I love you, and I have decided to refrain from retaliation or engaging with this person. We are handling the situation, I assure you. We respond like we know how, with integrity. I trust each of you working your asses off for this club, so honestly a little inspection isn’t going to send me into a frenzy.
” I reached up cupping her shoulder for support.
“I value your passion and dedication to protect this family. Look at it this way, now this just means you have three months before you have to see any of those assholes again!”
The huff she let out and the way she stormed away told me she knew I was right.
* * *
I spent the evening reviewing video footage and checking in on security details.
Apart from the one incident outside of my condo a few nights ago, there hasn’t been much activity around Teddy or his little sidekick.
I was hoping that things were going to die down on their own but I see now that he’s involved my club into messy matters.
I’m gonna have to make some decisions. And soon.
I sat at my desk thinking the last few days over in my mind.
I found myself missing Delaney more than I expected.
I had to fight the urge to go home to her and embrace whatever it was that was growing between us.
The more I thought about the feelings coming up within me, the more the loss of Natalie possessed my mind.
I could never survive having love like that ripped away from me again.
I barely made it through with my life that last time, losing everything, my baseball career, myself, and my reputation in the process.
Natalie was my world, the other half of my soul and the only reason she was in that car was because I didn’t know when to quit.
When we lost that last game and I refused to go home, staying behind to practice into the late hours of the night on the empty field, she was forced to ride home with some friends that had snuck in alcohol and had been drinking for hours before the game ended.
I should have listened to her when she pleaded for me to just leave and get some rest, instead of staying behind to beat myself up over a loss on the field only to get home to Natalie’s parents on my front porch telling us that she never made it home.
At first I thought she meant they just couldn’t find her so I pulled out my cell to call her but when I looked into her father’s eyes and saw so much pain there, I knew it wasn’t what I assumed.
Her face – I will never forget how she looked so sad as I yelled at her to find her own way home if she was too dense to understand my rage over the game.
It wasn’t her fault we lost, it was Brandon Macavoy, the pitcher who missed his spot and gave up a walk-off grand slam, but I took it out on her like it was, because in that moment the most important thing to me was winning.
I didn’t realize that just having her in my life was the biggest win I would ever feel again.
Until I took Delaney to the beachouse. Sitting on that beach with her, talking and laughing, I felt my thoughts quiet and peaceful inside, something I haven’t felt in a really long time.
Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy my life of lust and the luxuries I now have at my fingertips, but it’s nothing like having a companion who truly understands you, especially one that can feed your soul.