23. Rafael
The moment the bathroom door closed, the guys downstairs started to argue.
I rolled my eyes and leaned heavily against the wall across the hall, my gaze glued to the closed bathroom door.
Nikolai could handle the rest of the hive.
I was determined to make sure Sina was okay. To me, nothing but her mattered.
My bear agreed.
I tilted my head slightly, catching the soft sound of her sniffling through the door.
I could feel her sadness like a second skin.
I’d felt it from the moment I met her, a constant ache that permanently etched itself into me.
I couldn’t seem to get her emotions to fade.
Normally, I’d paint and disperse the feelings, but with Sina I couldn’t.
It was like her pain became mine, and until I soothed it at the source, I’d never be rid of it.
I’d been nervous as hell to see her today, when Nik called and told me to go pick her up. I hadn’t even left my art studio since I met her. That’s how deep under my skin she’d gotten.
She was standing on the curb when I pulled up, and those emotions I’d been carrying flared to life again. Only this time she didn’t just taste sad.
She was scared too.
That was why I’d hugged her.
My bear had demanded I soothe her. I’d done it without thinking. For a second, I thought she might push me away, and when she didn’t, something inside me settled in a way it hadn’t all week. It made me want to say something. To offer comfort. To make it better.
I just wasn’t good at that part.
She’d tried to hide it, but the fear lived under her skin. I saw it in the way she scanned the street before getting in the car, and again in how her shoulders stayed tight when she walked into the kitchen this afternoon. Like she was waiting for something bad to follow her through the door .
The ward we have up to keep humans out didn't help ease her fears either and I was pissed off. I'd forgotten to temporarily turn them off when I’d gone into the city to pick her up.
Water ran again inside the bathroom, then stopped.
I straightened a little but didn’t move closer.
She didn’t need someone crowding her while she was trying to pull herself together.
She needed to come out and see that nothing had changed.
That no one was angry with her. That no one expected anything from her right now.
‘I’ll make sure of that,’ my bear promised.
No you won't. You’ll only scare her.
Downstairs, Harlow and Kiron were arguing. Nik would handle them. He always did.
All I had to do was be here when she opened the door. My heart sped up. I wiped my sweaty hands on my jeans. I was nervous.
What if she didn’t want me here when she came out? What if she wanted to be alone, or worse , one of the others? Harlow could make her laugh. Nik would be the calm, steady anchor she needed. And Kiron… maybe she’d want to talk it out with him.
What did I have to offer her?
My bear growled low at that thought. He didn’t like it when I overthought things.
Her voice drifted through the closed door. “...Ghost.”
The worry in that one word hit me in the chest before I could stop it. I hadn’t meant to listen, but with hearing like mine there was no blocking it out, coupled with her anguish coming through the thin wood door.
The handle turned.
I pushed off the wall before I could think better of it.
She stepped out slowly, like she wasn’t sure what she was walking back into.
Her eyes were red and swollen, lashes clumped together from her ruined makeup.
My breath caught. She was truly beautiful.
My painting of her tears didn’t do her justice.
Her cheeks were flushed, her freckled skin blotchy from crying.
My chest ached to hug her again. My bear leaned forward inside me, alert and gentle at the same time, urging me to pull her into my chest.
“Rafe. Oh , I’m sorry, were you waiting for me?”
I nodded. I could feel the embarrassment rolling off her now, sharp and hot, layered over the sadness she was trying to tuck away.
She was bracing, like she expected to be a burden just for having feelings.
The silence stretched between us, and I didn’t know what to say.
I never did when it mattered, so I grabbed the only thing in my head.
“Who’s Ghost?”
The second the words left my mouth, I felt her surprise spike. I looked away, rubbing the back of my neck, already regretting opening it.
‘Still better than asking about her abusive dead husband.’
He wasn’t wrong.
Her worry was still there under everything else, steady and pulsing, and I focused on that instead of my own awkwardness.
“How do you know about Ghost?”
I cringed. “I heard you say it through the door. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop.”
She blinked at me, caught off guard, then smiled a little as she leaned against the opposite wall. “I think that’s the most I’ve ever heard you speak.”
I let out a quiet breath through my nose, not trusting myself to answer that without making it worse.
“Ghost is my fox.”
My bear lifted its head at that, attention sharpening.
‘Harlow,’ he growled .
SHH .
“Well, he isn’t really mine.” Sina continued, tucking her copper hair behind her ear as she spoke. “I think he lives in my building, but I kind of pushed him outside when my landlord came over…” She drifted off for a second, then gave a small, shy smile. “Anyway, he makes me feel better.”
Harlow was going to love knowing she’d been finding comfort with his fox.
She bit her lip. “I don’t know. It’s dumb.”
It wasn’t dumb.
Nothing about this gorgeous woman was dumb. She was perfect. Broken sure. But that was okay. I was good with helping her heal.
“I can’t believe I trauma-dumped like that. I’m so embarrassed.”
Embarrassed wasn’t what I’d felt coming off her downstairs.
It had been fear first, then shame. The kind that settles deep in people who’ve had to survive things they shouldn’t have had to and somehow ended up blaming themselves for it.
I’d seen that same quiet sorrow in Harlow before, and the urge to tell her he would understand rose up fast, but it wasn’t my story to share.
I shook my head. “Don’t be.”
My bear shifted, unhappy with my response. I ignored him.
She ran a hand down her face. “I’m just not ready to go back down right now.” She bit her lip again.
I had the urge to ask her to stop but bit my tongue.
She looked over at me then, those emerald green eyes catching mine, still glassy but steadier than before. “I’m not so sure I’m mentally stable enough to be interrogated right now. I already know Harlow’s going to push to know more about Logan, and I’m just not ready to deal with him right now.”
I didn’t trust myself to say the right thing, so I did what I was good at .
Emotional support pillow.
I slid down the wall slowly and sat on the floor, then patted the space beside me. I held my breath as she decided whether to join me or not.
She snorted a small laugh and shrugged before lowering herself down next to me.
That was better.
But the urge to hold her was riding me hard. Screw it. The worst she could do was push me away. I could handle that.
‘Liar.’
I slid my arm around her shoulders slowly, giving her time to pull back if she wanted.
She didn’t. She turned into me instead, pressing her face against my side like she’d been holding herself together for too long and finally didn’t have to.
I leaned my cheek lightly against the top of her head, breathing in the faint scent of her.
Strawberry sweetened honey.
I felt it then, the shift in her. The sharp edges of her anxiety dulled, the tight coil of fear loosening into something softer. Not gone, but quieter. Safer.
‘She feels safe.’
I sighed as my bear settled deeper in my chest, satisfied in a way that made my whole body feel lighter, calmer. We stayed like that for a long while, wrapped around each other in the quiet, until she finally broke the silence.
“Thank you.” She glanced up at me as she said it, studying my face like she was trying to find something there, something I wasn’t even sure how to name. I brushed a hand through her wild hair, smoothing it back from her cheek.
“I could say the same to you.”
Her brows pulled together in an adorable little frown as she rested her cheek against my chest .
“What do you mean?”
She snuggled in closer, arms tucked in tight to herself, curling toward my warmth until she was practically in my lap. I wasn’t sure she realized she was doing it.
“Holding you like this settles me too, honey.” I held my breath after I spoke. Afraid pointing out she was in my lap would make her feel embarrassed and try to leave.
“Honey?” She snorted, shaking her head. “What is it with you guys and the nicknames? I keep telling you I hate them.”
“Do you, though?” I teased.
I could feel the lie of hers through the bond, the way her pulse spiked as she denied it. I let my hand drift down the side of her face again, slow and gentle. She sighed, her body melting against mine.
There were things in her past I wouldn’t push her to talk about. Not yet. But this? This was lighter. This I could nudge. I wanted her to admit she liked the way we claimed her.
She shook her head in denial, but there was a smile hiding in her eyes. “Why honey? That sounds like something my mom would call me.”
I laughed fully then, the sound rumbling out of my chest before I could stop it.
The truth that my bear had chosen it, had practically purred the word the first time it crossed my mind, sat right on the tip of my tongue.
But she wasn’t ready for that conversation, not yet.
So I gave her the truth but in a way she wouldn’t question.
“Well, you do calm my inner grizzly, and you're sweet like honey .”
She leaned back just enough to look at me properly, curiosity written all over her face. “I mean… you are kind of built like a linebacker. So referring to yourself as a bear fits.” She shrugged it off like it made total sense.
I chuckled, tightening my arm around her just a little. And enjoying the tiny little gasp she gave me in response .
I leaned down to her ear. “ Oh, honey .” I was unable to keep the edge of knowing out of my voice. “You have no idea how right you are.”