42. Nikolai
Motion rippled across the monitors as Kiron’s bike passed through the wrought-iron gates.
The image slid across the far wall. My wolf bristled at the reminder of where the dragon had been all week, jealousy snapping sharp and hot through the bond.
Enough , I commanded silently, leaning back in my chair. He has every right to the blood mate.
Reason didn’t matter to my wolf. He saw only the distance I’d kept from what he deemed his. It was driving him feral, claws scraping at the inside of my control.
I'd need to shift soon.
“Kiron’s here,” Harlow observed from across the massive room. He was sunk deep into one of the oversized leather armchairs near the fireplace, firelight licking over his shoulders, one boot propped carelessly on my coffee table.
I frowned. “Get your boots off my table, you neanderthal.”
Low smirked, unapologetic, but dropped them to the floor anyway, stretching like he owned the place. I swear he only came in here to piss me off.
Elias pushed off the windowsill behind me and crossed the room, the sound of his steps soft against the plush carpet.
He came to a stop at my back, hands settling briefly on my shoulders, thumbs working into the tension he knew lived there.
“She’ll be here soon. Are you sure you don’t want to be downstairs when she arrives? ”
“For the tenth fucking time, Eli. No .”
He sighed like I was being unreasonable. But his incessant need to ask was stretching at my already frayed nerves. “I could fly home.”
“No.” I barked, swiveling my chair and standing.
Slowly crowding him against my desk, I grabbed him by the throat.
He melted into my hold. “You are all I need. The blood mate is for my hive, and since you insist on being a rogue and denying my leadership—” My hand flexed around his throat as my wolf pierced through my vision, sharpening it with his power.
“You don't get a fucking say in how I run my hive.”
Harlow cackled. “Oh shit, Nik is big mad at you, Eli. What did you do?”
“Used sex to manipulate him into doing what I wanted,” Eli quipped, his honey eyes narrowed on me but he didn't fight my dominant hold.
It soothed my wolf. A little.
“ No shit? You manipulated him into doing what, exactly?”
“Admitting to himself that he wants Sina.”
“Oh shit,” Low repeated, clapping his hands once like the pieces had finally clicked. “So that’s what pushed you to tell her about us.”
I growled and shoved Eli back, turning away from both of them.
Control had never been about what I wanted. It was about what the hive needed, and tonight, that meant I stayed where I was. Watching from the edges. Letting the balance hold without me forcing myself into the center.
There was something about Sina that made my control fracture too easily. With both her and my hive gone all week, the strain sat closer to the surface than I liked. My wolf paced just beneath my skin, contained but restless, a pressure I refused to indulge.
At least I had Elias here this week, my one constant for the last hundred years.
I glanced back as he moved away from the desk, stopping at the wall of books to my right.
His fingers skimmed familiar spines before he pulled one free—the same book he’d been reading all week.
Him and Rafe were comparing notes like some kind of domestic book club run by housewives.
I still didn't understand why Elias didn't just rejoin my hive.
He got along well enough with all of us.
‘He doesn't forgive us,’ My wolf growled, and I scowled.
I watched Eli carry the romance book to the chair opposite Harlow and settled near the fire, the pages catching fire-light as he opened it .
‘If he met our mate he would come back.’
I thought so too and had tried more than once to convince him to meet Sina. He’d refused, claiming he had no interest in a blood mate.
‘You know him better than that.’
I thought I did but how could I convince him to give her a chance if I wasn't either?
‘She's mine.’
No . Eli is mine and all I need, so you don't get a say.
Though I knew I wasn't enough for him. Elias was a hopeless romantic, drawn to gentleness as much as strength. He cared for me deeply, as I did him, but it wasn’t enough.
A rogue without a blood mate or a hive to balance them lived a narrow existence, no matter how fiercely he pretended otherwise.
He was lonely. My chest tightened with the knowledge of the role I’d played in that.
We had been happy with Clarissa. For a time.
I’d mistaken that for stability. Jealousy followed.
Possession after that. She feared Harlow for his loss of control and resented the bond between Elias and me.
And when she left, she took more than blood with her.
‘She took the core of our hive.’
I agreed, forcing bonds before they were ready had cost us once already. I’d pushed too fast, trusted my own want where the hive should have come first. When everything fractured, it wasn’t me who paid the highest price.
Harlow had. Elias had. I would not repeat that mistake. Especially now that I was responsible for a bear and dragon.
Movement on the screen drew my attention. Rafe’s car rolled slowly through the front gates. Every part of me hummed with the need to stalk down the hall and see her for myself. My fangs lengthened behind closed lips with the urge to feed.
I did nothing .
My fingers remained steepled beneath my chin, glasses low on my nose, posture locked into something that resembled control. From his chair by the fire, Elias watched me over the top of his book. He didn’t buy my false calm.
The front door feed flickered on, triggered by the motion sensors. She was here. Every instinct in me surged, sharp and demanding.
‘Go to her.’ I ignored my wolf’s incessant need, again , fixing my stare on the screen.
I'd done what I needed as her alpha and tended to her needs.
I'd cooked a meal for her that was in the oven and should still be warm.
I'd prepared her a nest on the third floor so she would be comfortable while she was here.
That's all I would be doing too.
“She’s pissed at you, brother,” Harlow said. “You fucked her, then vanished for a week while a rogue was hunting her. She’s not exactly going to accept you and your gifts with open arms.”
“I didn’t fuck her,” I said, eyes never leaving the monitor.
“Semantics. You tasted her and she returned the favor. Same shit, and you know it.”
“Say shit one more time, Harlow, and I swear to fucking God I’ll lose my shit on you .”
Harlow just laughed, not taking my threat seriously enough. Crazy fucker.
“She's going to be asking about you, Niko. You know that right?” Eli added.
“And that ,” I said flatly, the image of her moving through the house burning into my vision, “is precisely why I’m not going downstairs. Having a taste of her was a mistake I won’t be repeating.”
Harlow’s laughter followed, low and knowing. “ Liar .”
I shot him a seething look. “If you weren't my brother I'd throttle you. ”
On more than one occasion I'd regretted hunting down my brother and changing him. He was a royal pain in my ass.
Firelight caught the edge of his grin as he leaned forward in the chair. “We all know why you’re hiding up here in your office. And it’s not because Sina’s mad at you.”
I didn’t answer.
So I stayed in my office, so what?
Leaving it would have meant admitting I was waiting for her. Watching the monitors was distance. An insurance against repeating past failures. Easier to justify than pacing the halls like a caged animal as she returned.
“I’m headed downstairs,” Harlow said, standing and stretching his arms over his head. The firelight caught the ink along his neck as he rolled his shoulders. “You coming?”
Elias didn’t look up. “I’m fine here.”
“What about you, brother?”
“No.”
The word came out flat. Final .
Harlow studied me for a beat. “Good luck with that.” He paused at the door. “She clocked Kiron’s temper in under a week. You think she won’t feel you avoiding her?”
I didn’t answer. My fingers tightened once against the arm of the chair before I forced them still.
Harlow’s smile sharpened just a fraction. “Yeah. That’s what I thought.”