14 Aubie
PART OF ME WANTS TO PINCH myself. Cutter Knight. Here in my kitchen.
At my mercy.
Okay, I’m not a hundred percent certain of that last one, but judging by the wrecked look in his eyes, it’s at least on the table. Might as well go for broke.
I raise my mouth to his ear and pour all my pent-up lust into my voice. “I want you to fuck me.” I lick his lobe. “Or I can fuck you. As long as one of us is doing the fucking.”
Our eyes lock and I can almost hear his thoughts.
No, don’t look away. Stay here with me.
“What are you doing to me?” he whispers.
I could ask you the same thing. Reaching up, I drape a hand around his neck and pull his face down to mine.
“I’d rather show than tell.”
I dive into his mouth, and this is a full-on buffet.
I’m not usually one to engage in kissing with my hookups–too intimate–but I’ll make an exception for him.
My tongue sweeps across his teeth and tangles with his tongue before stretching for the back of his throat.
If I could inhale him, I would. It seems like the more I get of him, the more I want.
Which doesn’t sound like me at all. I’m usually better than this at managing my enthusiasm.
It’s just casual, after all. Right?
I lean back and look up at him, trying to figure out what this power is he has over me. He opens his eyes and meets my gaze, and I realize I’m too late. I should have made my move while his lips were locked with mine. That’s when I had him.
Now…now he’s starting to wake up. To look at me the way he always does.
Hatred and suspicion.
I slide my hands down his arms to grip his wrists and urge him closer. “Stay here with me,” I whisper in my most seductive voice.
He shakes loose from my grip. “This is a mistake.”
“No,” I assure him. “The mistake would be not to acknowledge it.”
“That’s what you think? I’m just another conquest for you.”
“What? No, that’s not…that’s not what this is.”
Is it? Come on, let’s be honest here. That’s exactly what this is.
Or what it was. I don’t know when that changed–if it changed.
All I know is I’ve never wanted anyone as badly as I want Cutter right now. And I know if I let him walk out of here without at least exploring what that means, I’ll never get another chance.
So I make my move.
I pick my phone up off the counter and open the app for my house. Under Music I select a playlist and exhale as Not Enough Time by INXS fills the air.
“Really?” he asks.
I offer a smile, this one genuine. “I move better with music.”
His eyes narrow. “And what makes you think you’re going to be moving?”
I take that last step into his space and reach down to grab both our cocks, jerking them together.
“I don’t care if you hate me or you’re not into men,” I breathe against him. “Right now, right here, I’m into you and you’re into me. That’s not a forever thing. It’s a let me rock your world right now thing.”
I can see the ‘no’ in his eyes, but there’s also a spark of curiosity. He wants to know as badly as I do–what the hell is this attraction that keeps pulling us together against our better judgment?
The last thing I need is another complication in my life.
I’ve got my hands full with fending off my family and trying to maintain my scandalous, gay-trust-fund-problem-child image.
Never mind that it’s all a distraction. That for once I just wish I could take off the mask and show the world who I really am.
But that’s never going to happen. Not as long as my father is running the show.
“You’ll see, this is for the best. Nothing you can say or do will bring him back.”
And I went along…
I shake my head; get back in the game.
My fingers move on muscle memory, massaging the head of his cock while my lips brush his.
He’s still not reciprocating, but at least he hasn’t pulled away.
I rub my body against his while my tongue pushes inside his mouth, seeking his.
I breathe him in while my hand continues to jack both our cocks together.
“No,” he mumbles against my lips as he tries to pull away.
I wrap my leg around his, urging his body closer while I deepen the kiss.
My fingers tangle in his hair, keeping his mouth melded to me.
Keeping his attention focused on me. And judging by how much his cock is leaking, it’s working.
I slide my thumb over his slit and smear the shaft with precum, my mouth watering at the prospect of tasting him again.
When his tongue starts reaching back, I know I’ve got him.
My lips slide off his mouth, kissing my way over his bearded chin to his neck, nibbling at the stubbled flesh above his collar.
The shirt needs to go. I slide one hand under the hem and drag it slowly up so I can access his chest with my mouth.
He’s hairy–not excessively so–just a light coating of fur across his well-defined pecs and down his abdomen to his happy trail.
I swirl my tongue through it, latching onto one of his nipples.
Sucking and licking and biting until it’s a hard knob.
He moans softly as I release it and move to the other one, giving it the same treatment.
All this time I’ve continued to stroke our cocks together and while it’s taking all my concentration not to give in to release, I can tell he’s just as close.
His dick is like steel and soaking my palm.
As much as I’d rather be fucking him, I’ll take what I can get.
I drop back down to my knees, dragging my tongue down his body until it circles his head.
Closing my lips around him, I suck him deeper into my throat while my hand cups and fondles his tight balls.
A glance up shows me the most delicious sight–him with his head thrown back, eyes closed, mouth slack.
A tiny dribble of drool gathering at the corner of his lush mouth.
His hands threading through my hair, holding my head in place.
He may hate me, but he’s onboard with what I’m doing right now.
I slide my mouth slowly off him, running my tongue around his length, then suck him back in again.
Over and over, until I hear his breath start to hitch.
Until his fingers clench at my head, forcing himself deeper.
Just like the last time I blew him, I don’t think he would be interested in edging this one out, though the possibility of it sets my blood on fire.
I want to make him moan. Make him beg. Make him cry out my name as he drowns me in his hot cum.
Make him let go of that damned control he clings to so tightly.
That’s the face I want to see.
Absolutely wrecked.
I can feel him getting close, his cock so stiff in my mouth I swear I could break a tooth on it.
Come for me, lover.
I inch one finger across his taint to circle his hole. When I dip the tip inside, his gasp is like an oath. He bucks against my mouth, then I taste the first sampling of cum on my tongue. I suck harder and am immediately rewarded when he stiffens and unloads.
“Fuck,” he groans.
I swallow his release, gulping it down then lapping up whatever I missed. Not the way I wanted him, though considering I didn’t even have sucking Cutter’s cock on my horizon tonight, I’ll count this as a win.
I hold him in my mouth until he starts to soften. Putting off the inevitable.
Now that the moment has passed, I can feel things getting awkward again. He backs away from me and pulls up the borrowed sweatpants, careful not to meet my eyes.
No, that’s not how we’re going to play this. I reach out a hand and grab his chin, pulling his eyes down to mine. “I still want to fuck you.”
He frowns. “That’s never going to happen. This should never have happened. Again.”
“Never say never, lover. I’ve got a taste for your cock now.”
And because I can see I’m not going to win any more arguments tonight, I retrieve my pants from the floor and take them to the laundry room to start the dryer.
When I get back, Cutter is staring at the floor as though he’s in a trance.
I don’t say anything to him, opting to pick up our mugs and rinse them out in the sink.
“Could you put some clothes on?” he asks when I turn back around.
I bite back my first reply. Ordinarily I would blow him off with an excuse, but I can see he’s looking conflicted and for some reason I don’t want to make that worse. Don’t ask me why.
I duck into my bedroom and pull on a pair of sweats and a T-shirt. “Better?’ I say when I get back to the kitchen.
“Thank you.”
I notice he moves to the other side of the island, keeping it between us. He watches me guardedly, his eyes reflecting a vulnerability I’ve never noticed before. What are you afraid of, I want to ask, though I know he’d never tell me. He’s the poster boy for the strong silent type.
“It’ll be about a half hour for the dryer,” I say instead. “Might as well make yourself comfortable.”
He looks around. “There’s nothing comfortable about any of this.”
I go for broke, licking my lips and giving him my filthiest smirk. “You seemed pretty comfortable when you came in my mouth.”
It might’ve been the wrong thing to say. His expression hardens, his dark eyes narrowing. “I still can’t believe I let you do that.”
“What exactly do you have a problem with? The fact that you let a guy suck you off, or that the guy was me?”
“You’re a fuckboy, Aubie. Need I say more?”
I shrug; I can’t argue with that. Yes, I am a fuckboy, though he might be surprised to know it’s not something I’m ashamed of. It’s just who I am–or rather, who I’m forced to be. Like learned behavior.
“Does this act work on your other conquests?” he demands.
“I’m not acting.” I lean my elbow on the island and prop my chin on it, meeting his eyes. I’m just as surprised as he is by the next words that come out of my mouth. “If you must know, you’ve got me a little off my game.”
Why would I admit that? The last thing I want to do is give his resistance more reinforcement.
“This is you off your game?”
“Believe it or not. Usually I’m pushing my hookups out the door by now.”
He scoffs. “So now you’re telling me I’m special?”
Is he? Judging by how much real estate he’s occupied in my brain the last few weeks, I’d have to say there’s a distinct possibility.
The ‘why’ of that isn’t clear to me yet.
At first I thought he was just a mouthwatering itch I needed to scratch.
Take a taste, get it out of my system. But I’ve had his cock in my mouth twice and all I can think about is having more.
And as I’ve scolded myself countless times lately, I’m terrifyingly allergic to seconds.
That way leads to feelings, and those are a definite no-no.
Still, there is something. “Let’s just say you pique my curiosity.”
He glares at me. “Well, let me satisfy it for you. I’m not into men.”
“Coming down my throat kind of says you are.” He blushes, all his bravado suddenly gone. I lean closer, holding his gaze. “At least, you’re into this man.”
“That’s not…” He swipes a hand across his face as if he can erase the last half hour. “It’s just been a while and I was horny. It was purely physical.”
“Hate to break it to you, lover, but that’s what sex is.”
It hits me then what I’m feeling, this lust I can’t get out of my head.
I crave him. Crave the feel of his cock railing my ass and know nothing else will satisfy me until I get it.
Maybe then I can finally get him out of my system, because this dynamic right here is not helping at all.
I want to jump over this island and devour his body. When have I ever felt this primal?
I take a step toward him and he backs up. “We can solve this whole thing right now.”
“No.”
“You haven’t even heard what I’m going to say.”
“I don’t need to. The answer is still no.”
I don’t let that deter me. “You get something out of this, too.”
He glances toward the hall where the laundry room is. Sorry, your thirty minutes is not up yet.
“Is that all you think about?” he snaps.
Ordinarily I’d say no, but something happens to me when I’m in his vicinity.
My brain gets hotwired, and everything else in the world gets shoved into the background.
It’s like I become hyperaware of him. If I concentrate, I can probably feel his breath entering and leaving his body.
To be honest, it’s kind of driving me crazy.
“I think it has something to do with you,” I admit.
“Why?”
“I wish I knew!” I growl. His eyes widen at my tone. That might have been a little more honest than I’m comfortable with. “Look, I’ll make a deal with you.”
He snorts. “Why would I do that?”
“Because…” Fuck. I just want to bite into something. “I want you to fuck me.” I let that sit there for a moment. Is this really me? Bargaining? What the hell have I become?
“Just once. Get it out of my system. Then I’ll go back to hating your guts, I swear.”
I can’t believe I just said that. What the hell is wrong with me? Has he cast some kind of spell on me? Is that even a thing?
He stares at me without speaking for what feels like forever. I watch, fascinated, as a series of emotions play across his face until finally, he sighs and shakes his head.
“No. I told you, I’m not into guys.”
Okay. Guess I’m doing this the hard way. “Then it looks like I’m going to have to convince you that you are.” I give him my best smile. “Poor Cutter. You could have taken the easy way out.”
“What does that mean?”
I drag my hands up my chest, rolling my nipples between my fingers. “Whenever I’m onstage, it’ll be your hands I imagine on my body. I’ll show you how to fuck me. Think about that while you watch me up there.”
His eyes go blank, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows. “I d-don’t watch you.”
“Oh honey, you will now.”