34 Aubie #2
I wonder how long he’s been wanting to ask me that. “She asked me how we met.”
He cocks a brow at me. “What did you tell her?”
“The truth.” He seems surprised by that. “I’m not ashamed of what I was doing at Eros.”
He reaches a hand out and strokes my cheek. “You’re amazing, you know that?”
I smirk at him. “I am a catch, aren’t I?”
“Humble, too.”
I lean closer and kiss him, dragging my tongue across the seam of his lips. I want to ask him how it went with Callum, but I don’t want to pry if he’s not ready to talk about it. Still…
He grins. “You’re so transparent.”
“What do you mean?”
“Just ask me. I know you’re dying to.”
Shit. Am I really that easy to read? “Okay. What did Callum say when you confronted him?”
He sighs and rolls over onto his back. “Apparently Amber was cheating on me with half the school.”
I did not have that on my bingo card. “Seriously?”
“Yep. Callum insists he tried to tell me, and when that didn’t work, he decided to take matters into his own hands.”
“By sleeping with her?” I have to give him credit, that’s a ballsy move. Wrong, but ballsy.
He turns his head to me. “That’s my brother’s fucked up logic."
“So that’s all there was to it?”
“He insists she kept coming on to him.”
“Are you going to forgive him?” I know it’s the million dollar question and I wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t want to answer it, but I think it’s important he at least considers it.
He takes his time replying. “Part of me wants to stay mad at him in principle because who fucks his brother’s fiancé to show him she’s a cheat, but then I take it in context.”
“What do you mean?”
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but he’s a lot like you. Thinks with his dick. Commitment-phobe, different girl every night.”
I let the ‘thinks with his dick’ comment slide, but the rest? Yeah, I have a problem with that. Don’t ask what that means. “Reformed commitment-phobe,” I correct. “You kind of forced me to turn over a new leaf.”
He rolls his eyes. “Excuse me. Reformed commitment -phobe. I keep forgetting everyone doesn’t look at the world the way I do.”
“The root of most of the world’s conflict,” I quip.
He snorts. “If I take into consideration Callum’s personality quirks, he only did what he did out of concern for me.”
“That’s very evolved of you.”
“I can’t tell whether you’re being insulting or complimentary.”
I raise myself up on my elbow and trace my free hand through the fur of his chest. “It was said out of love.”
I realize my mistake almost immediately. Did I just say the “L” word? Hopefully he didn’t notice. I glance at him; his jaw is set, eyes looking straight ahead. Fuck, did I just ruin things?
I watch his Adam’s apple bob when he swallows and says, “It’s okay.”
I want to ask what he means, but I decide it’s better to just let the subject die right there. I don’t expect what he says next.
“I have…feelings for you.” He swallows again, avoiding my eyes. “I don’t know how it happened, and I don’t expect you to reciprocate them, but–”
Before he can finish that thought I cover his mouth with mine in a bruising kiss that sucks the breath right out of me. I’m both elated and terrified by where he was going with that.
Do I have feelings for him?
As much as I fought it, I can say without the shadow of a doubt that yes, I have some very strong feelings for him.
Is it love?
I don’t know. I don’t think I know what love feels like. I thought I loved Bryce, but what I felt for him was nothing like this. It’s like Cutter controls the air I breathe. Like he said, I don’t know how it happened. One minute I was fooling around with him, another game of cat and mouse.
And then it wasn’t a game anymore. Somehow my heart got involved. The whole thing is big and scary and…amazing. Because when I take the fear factor out of it, I want to shout it from the rooftops. Just knowing I’m going to see him makes my heart feel lighter and my stomach erupt in butterflies.
I’ve never felt that for anyone before. If that’s what love is, then I guess I’m all in.
But I can’t tell him that because I don’t think I could live up to his idea of love.
Yes, his relationship with Amber was kind of toxic in the end, but he still spent four years with her.
He loved her enough to want to marry her.
I may be confused about what love is, but I’m sure Cutter has a very firm idea of the concept.
What do I know about it?
I pull my lips from his and start to get up.
“Where are you going?” he asks.
“Bathroom. We could both use a washcloth.”
He grabs my hand and pulls me back down against him. “Don’t run away.”
“I’m not–”
“I think I’m falling for you.”
I shake my head. No. He doesn’t mean that. “You don’t mean that.”
What the actual fuck? Are we really doing this?
“I do. I realized something tonight. Something I learned from my brother’s fucked up confession. Life is too short to waste hiding behind doubt. I lost five years because I wasn’t man enough to face my feelings.”
He closes his hand around mine and brings it to his lips. “I know it’s sudden and crazy and probably the last thing you want to hear, but it’s my truth. I don’t expect anything from you. It just is what it is.”
I’m stunned.
I have to bite my tongue to keep from spouting what’s on its tip.
I think I’m falling for you, too.