Chapter 35 Mo
Mo
It’s been three days since I moved into the lake cabin, and honestly? I might never leave.
Three whole days of making the place mine, one small detail at a time.
I line the porch walkway with some of the larger rocks I’ve collected from around the property, because obviously.
I hang the winter jacket Lily gave me in the little closet in the corner of the room.
The fridge came stocked with Diet Coke, and the bathroom smells faintly of that peach soap I used on my first day here.
I’m surprised at all the little things Darius took note of, making sure I was comfortable.
Every corner is a little more perfect than the last.
I love it here.
I’m sorting and putting away my small collection of clothes when I notice something.
My hands pause on the soft fabric of a shirt that isn’t mine.
It’s Silas’s, the one I took from the laundry basket yesterday when no one was looking.
And it’s not the only one. Archer’s grey t-shirt is tucked under my pillow.
Elias’s hoodie, swiped from the back of a chair after breakfast. And Darius’s jacket, the one I said I needed because I was cold last night, is folded neatly on my nightstand.
I wasn’t cold.
“Holy shit. I’m nesting.”
Like a proper omega, next thing you know, I’ll be baking cookies and knitting baby booties. I stare at the shirt in my hands, waiting for the panic to hit. Waiting for the cold dread to take over. But it doesn’t come.
Instead, I lift Silas’s shirt to my face and breathe in, and my wolf practically purrs.
“This is so messed up,” I tell Charly and Rocky, who are now prominently displayed on the windowsill among Darius’s rock collection. “I’m literally stealing their clothes to sniff them.”
But I don’t put the shirt back. I arrange it carefully over one side of my pillow. Archer’s shirt gets the other side. Elias’s hoodie goes on the chair by the window where the morning light hits it.
The guys stop by throughout the day, arms loaded with food or whatever else I might need. Darius hasn’t shown up at the door, not once, but every morning, a neat stack of fresh wood waits by my steps, dry and split.
I haven’t been this happy in years. Which is weird, because I never thought happiness would look like being dragged into a pack against my will and arranging alpha shirts on my bed like they’re precious artifacts.
I should hate it here. I should run. I’m free to go now. Nobody is watching me, and I’m confident that if I asked them to leave me alone, they would.
Instead, I’m counting the hours until Silas brings me more rocks, or Elias shows up with that stupid grin and another terrible joke, or Archer comes to teach me how to throw a better punch.
Freedom isn’t what I thought it was. Out in the woods, I wasn’t free. I was just alone. Running, hiding, surviving. Here, I have choices. Real ones. I can say no. I can close my door. I can tell an alpha to fuck off, and they actually do it.
Maybe not all alphas are dickbags.
I sit on the edge of the bed, Silas’s shirt still in my lap, and the thought I’ve been dodging all week finally catches up with me.
“But what if I can’t?” I say quietly, looking at Charly and Rocky on the windowsill. “What if, when it happens, my body remembers what they did to me?”
“Your body is yours again,” Rocky says. “You took it back.”
“But what if I freeze up? What if I panic? What if I start screaming the second someone touches me there?”
“It’s okay to be scared, Mo.” Charly’s voice is gentle. “They would stop. If you asked them to stop, they would. You know that.”
“But what if I’m broken? What if I can never—”
“You’re not broken,” Rocky interrupts. “Remember what Cassia told you? You’re healing. Big difference.”
“They’ll wait,” Charly adds. “They’ve waited this long, haven’t they? When have any of them pushed you for more than you were ready to give?”
“Besides,” Rocky says, “you literally got yourself off in the shower a few days ago. That’s progress, Mo. That’s you reclaiming your body.”
My cheeks burn. “You weren’t supposed to know about that!”
“We know everything,” Charly says. “We’re your emotional support inanimate objects.”
I grab a pillow and press it over my face to muffle my groan. “I’m having a mental breakdown, and my rock is giving me sex advice. This is fine. Everything is fine.”
A knock at the door interrupts my nesting. I shove Darius’s jacket under the blanket and call out, “Coming!”
Archer, leaning against the doorframe. “Almost lunchtime. You joining us?”
I pat down my hair, realizing I probably look like I’ve been rolling around in stolen alpha clothes. “What, and miss the chance to have four alphas cook for me? I’d be an idiot to pass that up.”
His lips quirk into that half-smile I’m starting to recognize. “So you’re coming for the food, not the company?”
“Obviously. The company’s a downgrade, but those mashed potatoes…” I make an exaggerated chef’s kiss gesture.
Archer laughs, and the sound does something weird to my insides. “Today it’s Elias’s famous chilli. And by famous, I mean infamous. Hope your stomach is strong.”
“I’ve eaten raw squirrel. I think I can handle whatever dandelion boy throws together. Let me just grab my jacket.”
His eyes scan the cabin, taking in all the little changes I’ve made. His nostrils flare slightly, and I know he’s catching all the scents. His own included.
“Nice place you’ve got here,” he says, the corner of his mouth twitching. “Smells… interesting.”
Heat rushes to my cheeks. “Shut up.”
“I didn’t say I didn’t like it.”
He grabs the top of the doorframe while he waits for me to put my shoes on and leans inside without actually stepping in.
When I stand up, he is so close to me. He starts to lean back to give me space, but that’s not what I want right now.
I grab the collar of his shirt and gently pull him closer until our lips meet.
I have to stand on my toes to reach, but it’s worth it.
Archer’s lips are warm and pliant. He lets me take the lead, careful not to push too far, but I can tell he’s holding himself back.
I slip my tongue out and run it along his bottom lip, and he meets me with his own.
I grip his collar tighter, then slowly draw back, looking up at him.
“Wow,” he says.
“You mentioned lunch?” I slide my hand into his, and we walk like that up to the main cabin.
* * *
There’s something I need to tell them all. My palms are sweaty by the time we get through the door.
“Before we eat,” I say, “I need to talk to you all about something.”
The room goes still. All four of them look at me.
“I need to sit for this.”
They follow me to the living room and arrange themselves around me. I take a breath.
“Cassia thinks my heat is coming soon.”
The air shifts instantly. I can feel all of them tighten, their scents sharpening.
Archer leans forward, elbows on his knees. “We can ask Cassia about suppressants. You don’t have to go through this if you’re not ready.”
I shake my head. “That’s not an option. After what my body’s been through, she says more suppression could cause permanent damage.”
I look at my hands. This is the harder part.
“I need you all to understand something. When the time comes, I might react badly.” I force myself to look up.
“The last time I was intimate with a male, I ended up sewn shut. I’m not worried about my physical safety with any of you.
But my mind might take me somewhere else. Back to what they did to me.”
Silas leans forward, his dark eyes intent. He signs something.
“He’s asking what you need from us,” Archer says quietly.
I take a breath.
“I need you to know that I want this.” The words come out before I can second-guess them. “I trust you. Which is something I never thought I’d say to an alpha, let alone four of them.”
Nobody moves.
“But if I panic, if I say stop, you stop. Immediately. No questions asked.”
“Always,” Elias says. His usual ease is completely gone. “You don’t even have to ask for that.”
Archer nods. “Your body, your rules.”
Silas reaches across and takes my hand, squeezing it in confirmation.
I find Darius’s eyes last. He’s been standing slightly apart, tension in every line of him.
“I will never hurt you again,” he says. “Not ever.”
I nod.
I stand up, feeling exposed and vulnerable but oddly safe. “I just needed you all to know. Before it happens, now, let’s eat. I’m starving.”