CHAPTER 15 Rowan
CHAPTER 15
Rowan
F inally, Charlie shoves deep and, with a low, sexy groan, starts coming inside me. His dick is pulsing, and I can tell he’s lost in the ecstasy I was just in. He’s rutting into me, chasing the last of his bliss.
Even after he finishes, he’s still panting, holding himself over me, and making little inroads into my ass as his cock softens and he comes down from the high.
Leaning down, he reaches for my lips, and I kiss him fiercely over my shoulder. I’m sweaty all over, and my body feels as used as it did when I walked ten miles or however the hell far it was last week. Only today’s exercise paid off in euphoria rather than blisters.
Charlie’s hot dick slips out, and come starts running down the inside of my legs. I’m oddly fascinated by the feeling of the rivulets leaking out.
His spent dick rubs against my thigh as he kisses me again. “Stay there. I’ll get something to clean you up.”
“Like I could move,” I complain.
But I’m not really complaining.
Because … I get it. Why people do this. I feel so close to him. I wa nt him inside me permanently. I want him permanently. I don’t care if it’s an impulsive decision. Something about Charlie feels very, very right.
Charlie comes back with a warm, wet washcloth, and he starts at my ankles, catching the drips. He cleans my abused hole and then produces another washcloth to take care of my sticky dick. When he’s finished, he lifts me fully onto the mattress. I curl up, snuggling into his pillow, which smells deliciously like him.
“Give me a second. I’ll be right back.”
He goes into the bathroom and, I assume, cleans himself up. When he returns, he brings me a glass of water and some Advil. “I don’t know if you’re gonna be sore,” he says apologetically.
I take the pills and swallow them down with the cold water. Then Charlie climbs in next to me, still naked. He holds open his arms, and I cuddle into him.
I bite my lip and put up those walls to keep from crying, even if it’s the good kind of crying. The kind where I finally, finally got what I wanted. In so many different ways.
But no goddamned crying.
I go years without crying, but lately I’ve been brittle, having to fight back tears all the time. Dammit all to hell. I’m satisfied, but I also feel so alive. Yet boneless, too. Charlie smells good, like sex, and his lips are on my skin as his big, warm arms hold me. I feel very small next to him. I feel small next to most people, but even more when I’m close to him.
“I’ve never cuddled with any man before,” I whisper.
He stiffens. “Never?”
My brain is floating away, and I start babbling, though it’s the slow kind of babble where my words take a while to come out. Where all of my body is touching all of his and I’m warm and comfortable and without a filter.
The invisible guards at the entrance to my life story just wave Charlie on past. I open the door to the walls around my soul and let him in. He’s allowed to know everything about me .
So here goes a small start.
“Never. I messed around with a few guys in some of the foster homes, but we couldn’t get caught. It was just … quick blow jobs behind a building or whatever.”
“What about after you moved out?”
I shrug. “The things I did were still just … get off fast.”
“And you really never had anyone tap your ass?”
I guess he keeps asking because it seems like I’m lying, but I don’t lie to Charlie. “Nope. Not until you. And how long until you’ll do it again?”
Charlie lets that question pass. “Have you fucked anyone?”
“A girl, once,” I admit. “We were both eighteen. It didn’t go well.”
“I had sex with a woman once, too,” he says. “Just to figure out that part of my sexuality.” He grins into my shoulder. “I’m gay.”
“Yeah. Me, too.”
We stay there in his bed for a while. I’m overheated with his arms around me, but I don’t care. Because I love it. I love the sensation of his soft cock against my skin. His chest against my back. I want him to stay with me always.
Then my stomach growls.
He chuckles. “Are you hungry?”
I nod. “You?”
“I could eat. Want me to order something?”
“Sure.”
“Do you have a preference?”
“Tacos work,” I say, and he nods. “I’m good with spice.”
Charlie orders Mexican food and comes back to bed, settling us into the same position we were in before.
I thread my fingers through his. “Is sex always like that?”
He holds me closer. “No.”
“Hmm.”
We spend the next hour kissing, and Charlie makes me come again. We’d keep going, but the doorbell rings and Charlie answers the door wearing only his gray sweatpants.
I want to lick him all over.
At Charlie’s kitchen table, wearing my briefs and one of his shirts, I crunch on chips and tacos and pepper him with questions. What’s his family like? He’s on good terms with his parents and his siblings. He has a sister, Reyna, in addition to his older brother, the one he does the DIY stuff with. Where did he grow up? The San Fernando Valley. He loves making movies and will spend hours editing them.
“I thought you did that for a living,” I say. “Social media stuff.”
He snorts a laugh. “I wish. No, I’m a lawyer.”
I blink. “But your Ad/VICE account is huge.” Not that I spent every waking moment while we were apart going through every single video he’s made.
“That’s a hobby.” Charlie’s voice gets an edge to it. I pass him the guac, and he dips his chip into it.
“When do you have time to do that, if you’re a lawyer?”
“I’m not a lawyer twenty-four seven,” he points out. I stop asking him questions long enough to eat a taco.
After I’ve wiped my fingers, I ask, “Do you like it?”
“My Ad/VICE? Yes. Totally.”
“No, being a lawyer.”
He pauses for a really long time, half a taco sagging between his fingers. “No,” he finally admits. “And I think you’re the only person besides my brother I’ve ever said that to.”
Something goes all wiggly inside me, and I don’t think it’s from our dinner. “Why don’t you do something else, then?”
“Because … I don’t know.” Charlie frowns, and his eyes go sad. I hate that I made him look that way, even though I know it’s a question he should have been asking himself already. That look on his face makes me want to crawl into his lap and make everything better.
“Let me guess,” I say. “You don’t want to let the people you work with down? Don’t want to waste your education? And what that actually means is that you don’t want to let them know the real you?”
Charlie stares at me. “Am I that easy to read?”
I shrug.
“Yeah.” He sighs. “That’s how I feel. And I don’t know what to do about it.”
After dinner, I help Charlie toss the trash, then stand in the kitchen, shifting my weight from foot to foot.
“Should I … Should we …?” I don’t even know what I’m asking. I scratch the back of my neck and look at the floor while he wipes down the countertop.
I’m not used to being a freeloader. What do I do now? Go back to his bedroom? The couch? It’s too early to go to sleep.
I square my shoulders. “Just … how long can I stay?”
With two steps, Charlie is looming over me, and I love it. “There’s no deadline.”
Yes . Not that I want to sponge off Charlie forever. But if I can figure out a way to get past that hurdle, the “forever” part sounds pretty good.
But I need to check. “You sure? You may never get rid of me.”
“Well … I’m pretty sure at some point you’re going to commit some kind of crime?—”
“But you’re a lawyer, so you’ll get me off.”
“Oh, I’ll definitely get you off.” Charlie leers, and it makes me laugh.
Still … I tug at my hair. “You think I’m a criminal?” I mean, he’s right, but I don’t need to admit that to him just yet. Haven’t I already told him enough? He knows more than anyone but Xavier.
“I know you’re a criminal, baby. Remember how we met?” Charlie grins and pulls me by the hand into the living room, and something swoops in my belly. “I’m good with it. Netflix?”
He turns on the television, and the next little while is the most normal experience I’ve had in my life: lying against this beautiful man’s torso while we watch an action movie. It makes my heart go all weird.
By the time the movie reaches its climax, I’m yawning and Charlie’s practically asleep. “Come to bed,” he mumbles.
Where did my yawn go? Energy is surging through me. Now that I know what it’s like to be with him, I want it again and again. I plant my feet on the floor and extend a hand to him. He looks at it as if to say I don’t need that , but then he takes it anyway.
I love holding his hand.
Charlie stands, and I strip off my clothes and waltz down his hall, naked. “Night, Chaz Daddy,” I sing.
Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. Five. Four?—
Two big arms grab me from behind and march me forward. I shriek, giggling, as Charlie sucks on my neck, one hand snaking down to wrap around my dick.
Hell yes. This is what I wanted. I’m not sure if this is Charlie’s regular personality, but it’s the way he is around me. And I want to keep him that way.
I rub my ass into his groin, happy to feel a steel pole there. “Fuck me again, Daddy?” I whisper.
“Aren’t you sore?” he says, licking a stripe from my shoulder to behind my ear, so slowly it aches. As he continues to stroke the tip of my cock.
Yes, I’m sore. But yes , goddammit, yes. “A little, but I want you inside me anyway.” The soreness is nothing like how sore my feet were the day I met him. This is the good kind of ache.
“You’ve been teasing me. I’m not going to hold back,” Charlie warns.
“Please don’t. ”
Charlie parts his legs slightly and rubs his cloth-covered cock against my bare ass. “ Fuck .”
“Yes, please.”
We’ve been moving toward the bed, but Charlie has apparently run out of patience, because he spins me around, lifts me up (with a chuckle at my ungentlemanly squawk), then throws me on the bed and covers me with his big, delicious body.
Attacking me with his mouth. Exploring every inch of me with his strong hands. Grinding his hips into me.
I do the same to him.
Like the first time we kissed, his sweats are rough against my skin, but the abrasion feels good. It’ll probably turn into rug burn tomorrow, but right now, it’s making me so damn happy.
I feel alive . So fully alive.
After he preps me, he positions me on my back, folded in half, his searing gaze setting me afire.
And while he isn’t as savage with me as he was the first time, I still come hard.
Once we’ve caught our breath, he drags me into the shower to clean up, changes the sheets, and gives me more pain relief, which I probably need.
“Are you doing anything tomorrow?” I ask groggily. “Do you have to work?”
“It’s Sunday, baby.” Oh yeah, normal people work Monday to Friday. “I could go into the office, but it’s a slow time of year, and I need a break. Normally, I’d try to fit in some shooting with Cam, but he’s not ready to start on a new project quite yet.”
“Then let’s go bowling for our date.”
“We’re not going bowling,” Charlie mutters.
“That’s what you think.” I fall asleep next to my lover. Though not before I notice that he didn’t say we’re not going on any dates.