CHAPTER 34 Rowan
CHAPTER 34
Rowan
Y es, fuck yes.
This is what I want.
I’m trying to be as quiet as I can while moving fast on unfamiliar grounds. For all I know, the bushes around me could be topiaries of dinosaurs or something. I pass by a fountain and a tennis court, but there’s also plenty of trees and footpaths.
I stop and listen for Charlie. He already almost caught me once. I don’t want this chase to end indoors, so I keep going around the side of the house, toward the ocean, where there’s another area full of trees.
This place is incredible. I can’t believe I have access to it. Not two full weeks ago, I was living with Floyd in a crappy hellhole.
I follow the sound of the ocean, but I run up against an obstacle—a wrought iron fence with a locked gate, keeping me from getting down to the beach. I suppose it also keeps people from getting onto the property.
Shit.
I need to turn around, but I hear a branch break. Cool ocean air soothes my skin. My pulse is thundering in my ears, and my entire body is on alert. Even though I know Charlie won’t really hurt me, I’m getting off on being chased. I want him to take control.
I want his dick inside me. I want him to scrape me up. I want to rip at him. Let this be my Goblins Cave . He can claw hash marks into my ass to count how many times he takes me.
But I also want this part to go on longer.
I take off in what I hope is the opposite direction of where he’s coming from, but an arm comes out of the dark, and Charlie grabs me around the waist.
I struggle and kick. He bites my shoulder as he wrestles me to the ground, and it makes me even harder than I was.
“You need to be fucked?” Charlie growls. “You need my cock in your ass? Need me to use you?”
He’s undoing my pants as I struggle. My elbow’s scraped up, and my jeans are torn.
This is what I want. To not be in control. To not have to think about my next move.
The freedom of pain. The freedom of pleasure. To be able to just fucking feel.
Charlie makes me feel. He always makes me feel. Sometimes it’s too much, but— I kick at him, hard.
I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t know he could take it. But I’ve seen the gleam in his eyes. I know he’s all buttoned-up lawyer with his damn ten-year plan, when really he wants to be living a messy, dirty life where he chases his boyfriend down to fuck him.
I adore it.
I grab a handful of leaves and dirt and fling it in Charlie’s face. He blinks and swears, and I manage to get free and race away.
My heart beats heavy and fast.
I don’t know where to go.
Thump. Tha-thump. Tha-thump.
Shit.
Even though much of the property is manicured, there are still plenty of places to hide. Part of me wants to go through the house so I can run down to the beach. I’m tugging up my pants and trying to fasten them again while still running, but it’s not working, and I look around wildly.
Tha-thump. Tha-thump.
I dart toward the garage. Charlie’s gaining on me, because I hesitated. That’s okay.
This game, I love. Charlie , I love.
The air bursts from my lungs as he tackles me again. I fall hard onto the dirt. Pine needles. Grass.
Something pokes my skin. Ow! Dammit.
He’s tearing my pants open.
I gasp when he spits on my hole, and I wriggle, attempting to get out of his hold.
“Lube or no lube?” Charlie asks, taking me out of the moment, because I know he cares. He doesn’t want any actual damage. Nothing more than a few scrapes and bruises.
“Lube,” I say. I’m not as much of a badass as all that.
“Get your face in the dirt, then,” he orders, and he shoves my pants down, rubbing his hard cock against my ass.
I groan. Warmth radiates through my body.
Charlie is forcing me, except if I said the word, he’d stop immediately.
And having him make all the decisions for me, when I’ve been making them all my life and now I’m in this new situation where I don’t know anything …
It’s magical.
I know I’m going to have bruises on my hips from how hard he’s holding me. Through the tear in my jeans, my bare knee is getting more scraped.
The rip of a package.
And his lubed-up cock invades my ass. No prep.
It fucking stings. My dick always softens a bit when he first enters me, because of the pain.
I’ve now had enough experience with Charlie to know that the burning stretch will subside, but it takes a moment for my body to get used to the intrusion that I want so much.
Usually he gives me time to adjust before he pushes inside all the way, but not tonight. He breathes heavily in my ear, and the fact that he’s letting me see how into this he is—that’s a gift, too.
“You’re so fucking tight,” he groans. “Your perfect ass. Fuck .”
Tha-thump. Tha-thump.
Charlie might be grumpy and closed off with everyone else, but he’s open with me.
I’m starting to see the cracks inside him. I’m starting to see all the ways he cares. Ways he’ll never admit to, but that’s okay.
He pulls out a little, dribbles more lube on his dick, and forces me up on my knees so the angle’s better. Better for both of us. My body gives, until his groin is against my ass.
Charlie fucks me. He starts slowly. He’s saying worse things to me than he’s doing, muttering how he’s going to break me, rip me apart, make me bleed. And that makes it more of a fantasy. I don’t actually want him to cause any internal tears or anything. But I do like to pretend. To find that edge where it’s just real enough to matter.
He speeds up, his hips pistoning in and out of me, and it’s so good. He repositions us so he’s pressing down between my shoulders, holding my cheek to the ground.
Fuck, I like that, too.
My dick hardens again.
I’m going to get off.
I’m making noises, like I don’t even know what. When he puts a hand over my mouth, I bite it, and it makes him push into me extra hard.
My face is in the dirt, and I’m being fucked in the exact way I would’ve requested had I put in an order.
Rough.
Dirty.
Dangerous .
I’m his, and he’s mine.
“Is that all you’ve got?” I taunt, my heart beating fast. “Fuck me harder. Fuck me like you mean it.”
Charlie growls and surges into me. He slaps my ass—first one cheek, then the other. Then he does it again and again, until my skin is on fire.
My heart drums in my chest, and I’m ultra-awake, like I’m high on adrenaline.
He’s holding me up, dragging me toward him, and he’s coming. I can feel him pulsing into me, hear his ragged breaths and guttural groan.
Then he’s pulling out of me and throwing me onto my back. In a flash, he’s between my legs, sucking me off.
His warm, soft, wet mouth is the most decadent thing I ever could’ve imagined.
I once saw a video with a monk who held his hands in fists for four minutes because letting go was such peace. That’s what this is: peace, after being run ragged. I’ve gone to the end of the world and can now take a break.
My eyes are watery, and I moan. Then my body tenses … and the lightest sensation washes over me as I spill into his mouth.
When he helps me sit up, I realize I’ve marked him, too. He has a cut on his face, likely from my nails, and he’s just as dirty as I am.
We look at each other and start laughing.
“Guess we broke in your new home,” he says.