Chapter 10 #2
I’m not convinced that’s what he was going to ask me, but I’m not brave enough to call him on it. Not now. “Yeah,” I say softly, stepping forward. “I’d like that.”
He doesn’t hesitate to open his arms, tightening them around me when I sink into his hug.
Fuck me, it’s just as all-consuming as the last time he hugged me.
I feel so fucking safe surrounded by his warmth and his strength, and he smells so good.
I close my eyes, milking this moment for all it’s worth.
It almost hurts to move when his arms slowly drop away.
“Thank you for letting me stay here.”
“It’s my pleasure. Thank you for trusting me.” His smile makes his eyes crinkle. “Night, Charlie. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Night.” Would it be so wrong of me to ask him to stay? I’m so, so tempted, but the situation is uncertain enough that I bite my tongue. He’s got the door open, one foot outside, when I suddenly remember. “Wait.”
He turns, one eyebrow raised expectantly.
“I have something for you.”
Something like disappointment flashes in his eyes, but he schools his expression quickly.
I ignore the flare of want in my chest and hurry back into the bedroom where I left my bags.
Finding what I need, I walk back out, hoping this isn’t going to cause more disappointment.
“Here. I believe I promised this to you.” I hold the paperback out to him.
It’s a little worn around the edges, but he takes it like it’s the most precious thing he’s ever been given.
A look of wonder replaces the disappointment, his smile huge as he drinks in the cover of my very first published book. “Thank you.”
“Bear in mind, it’s the first one, and I hope I’ve improved since then.
” I feel fidgety and out of sorts, like I’ve just handed him my firstborn instead of a book.
Part of me wants to snatch it back and pretend this never happened.
The rest of me desperately wants him to love it, and I’m now realising how badly this could go.
I don’t think Pete would be cruel if he didn’t like it, but I’ll be gutted.
Even though I know you can’t please everyone.
I don’t want to, though. I only want to please Pete.
He looks up at me, eyes dancing, alight with something new that I can’t quite read. “I’m going to start it tonight.”
Oh god.
“Great.”
He laughs at how strangled that comes out. “Night, Charlie.”
“Night.”
The door shuts with a soft snick, and I lean against the counter feeling both nervous excitement and mild terror.
Pete is going to read my book.
I am never going to sleep tonight.
My phone rings a little over an hour after Pete left, and I roll my eyes at Seb’s name. I settle on the sofa as I answer, sinking into the cushions. “Hey.”
Seb’s gaze darts behind me.
“I’m alone.”
“Disappointing. But can’t say I’m surprised.” He smirks. “Still can’t believe you actually took him up on his offer to stay with him.”
I sigh and Seb laughs, the wanker. “I’m not staying with him.”
“How close are you to his house?”
“That’s not the point.”
He laughs again, and try as I might, I can’t fight the smile that sound always evokes.
“Fuck off,” I grumble, but it lacks heat. I let my head fall back with a groan. “Should I have just gone to the lodge for a night and come home in the morning?”
“No.” Seb’s voice is sterner than I’m used to hearing from him, and I hold my phone up so I can see his face. “I like him, from what I’ve seen.” He points a finger at me. “You like him.”
“I do. Arse.”
“Does he know about your writing?”
“Yeah.”
“And?”
My smile is once more unstoppable as I remember Pete’s face. “I lent him my book.”
“The one you carry everywhere and hoard like a dragon?”
“I don’t hoard it,” I mutter.
He raises an eyebrow.
“But yes, that one.”
This is probably the first time in my life I’ve witnessed Seb lost for words. His mouth opens, but nothing comes out for a good few seconds as he stares at me.
“Charlie,” he says eventually, sounding exasperated. “I say this with love—”
“Oh God.”
“Why are you stuck in that lonely but very tastefully decorated annexe when you could be fucking the super-hot and supportive man who is probably tucked up in bed reading your book as we speak?”
“Because I leave in a week.”
“And?”
This time I’ve got nothing because all my reasons for not doing this, when both of us clearly want to, seem ridiculous right about now. “It’ll hurt when I have to leave,” I say weakly.
“Maybe,” Seb concedes. “Or maybe not. Maybe you’ll both want to keep seeing each other and it’ll be the best thing to ever happen to you.”
I snort. “Steady on.”
“Fine. Maybe you’ll have a great week fucking each other and part as friends. Would that be so bad?” Before I can answer, he adds, “Or maybe you do nothing and leave there regretting that you never took the chance when you had it.”
Yeah, I fucking hate that option when he puts it out there like that. “But I’m staying in his property.”
“So?”
“It could get weird or super fucking awkward if things go badly.” Not that I think they will, but lately I’ve leant towards being a glass-half-full kind of guy. Can’t say I’m a fan.
Seb frowns like I’ve said something stupid. “Then come home. It’s not like you can’t leave.”
“Dan is at my flat.”
“Meh. We’ll either kick him out or you can stop with me until he leaves.”
I’m out of arguments.
He knows it too, judging by his smug expression.
There’s still something holding me back and he sits up, gaze turning serious.
“I know Dan hurt you,” he says softly. “I know he made you doubt yourself and feel insecure about more than just your writing.”
I swallow thickly, because it’s the truth even if I don’t want to admit it.
“Don’t let the wanker win, Charlie. Don’t let him stop you from putting yourself out there and having fun like you fucking deserve.”
“I’ll think about it.”
“Make sure you do.” Amusement sparks in his eyes. “And then tell me all about it. I bet Pete’s hung like a—”
“Bye, Seb!” I end the call, laughing, but it soon dies away as I think about what he said.
One bit of it in particular. Not about Dan—I’m not giving that arsehole anymore of my headspace. No, I’m stuck on what he said before that, because it’s what I’ve been thinking for the past day or so. Ever since Pete kissed me.
Will I regret not getting to do that again before I leave?
Yeah. I really fucking will.