Chapter 10
I stand in front of the full-length mirror, examining my outfit with a critical eye. The fullness of my breasts and the wideness of my hips and ass make clothing my size eighteen frame a chore to clothe.
But this sundress glides over curves in all the right places, its flowing skirt swishing tantalizingly with every movement. I”ve chosen it carefully, knowing Jermaine has always been a sucker for this particular shade of honey yellow against my warm brown skin.
My overnight bag rests at my feet, a silent reminder of the path I”ve chosen for tonight.
I could categorize tonight as a celebration—a pre-win, if you will. Because I have a shot to win $100,000. That money can change my life.
My gaze drifts to the full-length mirror, and I consider the list of ”L”s I”ve experienced over the years. Losses, letdowns, heartbreaks...this is a win I desperately need. Because all of my money goes to supplies, and my distribution deal with Westbrook Industries is usually reserved for breweries with a greater supply.
But I prefer to have flexibility and variety. To leave my customers guessing. But to keep the distribution deal, I had to give them the same thing over and over. And the distribution deal is what keeps my doors open.
So today, I”m letting myself celebrate. Because I am one of the twelve contestants selected to compete for Best Brewery at the Houston Craft Brew Fest.
My chest swells with a mixture of pride and trepidation. Going to work from six to one, opening Crown Jewel from three to nine, and working the farmer”s market on Saturdays and Sundays is getting old, and quite honestly, I”m tired. And in need of a win.
Because honestly, I don”t know how long I can keep this up. I need this festival. The prize money could be the lifeline my brewery so desperately needs. But for tonight, I can just be a woman on a date.
Yes, Jermaine is the man I once loved with everything in me. He”s also the man who believes I did the unthinkable and sabotaged our competition entry years ago. The memory still stings, that lingering sense of betrayal and heartbreak.
My fingers trail over the soft fabric of the sundress as I exhale slowly. But Jermaine”s also the man that didn”t laugh when I told him my dreams. The man to whom I”d given my virginity. The man I”ve never truly gotten out of my system, no matter how hard I”ve tried.
I smooth my hands over the soft material of the sundress, admiring the sunkissed yellow hue. The color is bold, eye-catching—just like the woman I am.
A modern-day hippie with my wild locs cascading down my back, the scent of essential oils clinging to my skin. This is me, unfiltered and unashamed.
Will he like it?
The little voice whispers from the back of my mind, stoking that flicker of self-doubt. Jermaine”s used to a different breed these days—sleek, polished, wealthy.
My lips curve in a wry smile. Well, tough. This is what he gets—the real, unvarnished Londyn Simmons.
Open-hearted, full of laughter and wonder and curiosity. A woman unafraid to embrace every part of herself, flaws and all.
I won”t shrink or pretend tonight isn”t special, because it is.
Heis.
And he”s the man I”ve never truly gotten over, no matter how much distance or time has passed.
My heart flutters in my chest as I slip into the strappy sandals to complete the look. In this moment, I feel every inch the confident, radiant woman I”ve become.
But after tonight...I”ll have to get Jermaine out of my system once and for all.
Is that even possible? To purge someone from your heart and mind forever, like a stain you just can”t scrub away?
It has to be. Because my dreams are too important to jeopardize—not for him, not for anyone. I”ve worked too damn hard to build this life, this brewery that”s become my entire world.
A pang of wistfulness tugs at me as I survey my cozy apartment, equal parts home and passion project. Exposed brick, rich hardwood floors, the scent of malted barley lingering in every nook and cranny.
This place is my heart and soul, my refuge from the world. But it”s also a harsh reminder of the harsh realities I face every single day.
No house of my own. No car that doesn”t constantly threaten to break down. No retirement fund, no safety net. Just me, this dream, and a whole lot of uncertainty about what the future holds.
Because over a decade of struggling and sacrifice still hasn”t paid off the way I”d hoped. My life is at a crossroads, and I can”t ignore that fact any longer.
I pause, fingers trailing along the strap of my purse, as I lower it across my chest. The familiar ache reminds me of the stakes at hand.
Maybe this competition really is my last shot. My final opportunity to prove that Crown Jewel Brew deserves a permanent place at the craft beer table.
If I don”t win, if this dream doesn”t finally start paying off...I”ll have to face the gut-wrenching reality of walking away. Of finding a different path, one that offers more security and stability than this endless grind.
The thought settles like a lead weight, sending a tremor through my body. I can”t lose this, can”t fail at the one thing that”s kept my heart beating all these years.
Because without Crown Jewel, without my passion for creating and sharing unique flavors...what am I? Just another woman adrift, slowly letting her dreams wither and die?
No. I won”t let that happen.
I straighten my shoulders, jaw setting in a stubborn line. Whatever it takes, I”ll make sure this night—this date with Jermaine—is one for the record books.
He”ll see me, the real me, and remember exactly why he fell so hard in the first place. And maybe, just maybe, a tiny part of him will fight for us again.
”Ready, chica?” Mia pops into my bedroom, and I blink, almost forgetting she came to help me get ready.
”Am I crazy for agreeing to this?” The little voice of doubt whispers in the back of my mind.
Mia”s amused snort breaks the tension. ”Girl, if you”re asking me that now after eye-fucking the hell out of that man in public, it”s too late.” She shakes her head, a wry grin playing on her lips. ”I can”t believe you lasted this long without jumping his bones.”
I shoot her a halfhearted glare, but she”s not wrong. The sexual tension between Jermaine and me has been slowly simmering for weeks, building to a fever pitch with every heated glance, every brush of skin.
All building to tonight.
”It”s just...complicated, you know?” I murmur, fiddling with the strap of my bag. ”We have so much history. So much hurt in the past.”
”Which is exactly why you need to do this.” Mia”s voice softens as she steps closer, resting a reassuring hand on my shoulder. ”Look, I get it—you”re worried about catching feelings again. But maybe this time will be different. Maybe now you both finally have your shit figured out.”
I swallow hard, willing myself to believe her words. To silence the nagging voice whispering that I”m setting myself up for devastation all over again.
”And if it”s not?” The fear slips out in a hushed whisper. ”What if this is just a horrible mistake?”
”Then we pick up the pieces and move on,” Mia says simply. ”But you”ll never know unless you try, right?”
She”s not wrong. As terrifying as the prospect is, there”s an undeniable spark flickering between Jermaine and me—one I can”t ignore, no matter how hard I try.
I nod. ”You”re right. I need to do this.”
”Atta girl.” Mia winks, reaching for my bag and handing it to me. ”Now go get your man and be back before the Farmer”s Market rush. I”ll hold down the fort.”
”You sure? The morning crowd can be brutal.”
She waves a dismissive hand. ”Please, I got this. You just focus on getting your brains thoroughly rocked tonight.” Her salacious grin is nothing short of wicked.
Chuckling, I shake my head and gather my things. ”You”re terrible.”
”I know,” she sing-songs with a wink. ”Now, get going before I have to hear any more juicy details.”
The sharp rap of knuckles against the front door startles us. I spin toward the door, heart leaping into my throat as a familiar silhouette takes shape through the frosted glass.
”Have fun, sis, and tell me all the details in the morning.” Mia gives me a supportive squeeze and walks to the backdoor.
”Call me if?—”
”Londyn Simmons, I got this. Now, have a wonderful night. You deserve it.”
Mia”s hardly ever serious. She brings laughter and fun, but her heartfelt expression floors me. And before I can respond, she slips out of the door that leads to the taproom.
Now I”m alone, staring at the silhouette of Jermaine Knights.
With one final, grounding breath, I pull the door open to reveal Jermaine in all his rugged glory.
The first thing I notice is his scent that”s heady and masculine and still has the power to make my knees go weak. Next is the way his storm-gray suit seems to mold to every chiseled plane of his body, those broad shoulders tapering to a trim waist and powerful thighs.
Heat licks across my skin as my gaze drifts upward, drinking in those angular cheekbones, the strong line of his jaw...those full, sensual lips I”ve tasted more times than I can count.
When our eyes finally meet, the sheer intensity of his stare steals the breath from my lungs.
”Londyn.” The gravel in his deep voice sends a shiver skittering down my spine. ”You look...incredible.”
I fight back a giddy smile, momentarily robbed of speech. The easy confidence I”d felt mere seconds ago evaporates beneath the smoldering weight of Jermaine”s undivided attention.
It would be so easy to get swept up in the swirling eddies of pure lust swirling between us. To give in completely and let myself get carried away by the invitation shining in Jermaine”s heated stare.
But a part of me clings to the ragged shreds of caution, erecting flimsy barriers in a futile attempt at keeping a level head. Because as much as my body craves him, my heart is another matter entirely.
I can already feel the dangerous tendrils of emotion taking root, weaving their way through the cracks in my defenses.
Jermaine has always possessed an unsettling power over me, stripping away every pretense with just a smoldering look.
And right now, that soul-searing gaze is pinning me in place, rendering me speechless and aching with a bone-deep need I won”t deny.
Jermaine takes a single step forward, closing the distance between us. The air seems to thicken, charged with an electric current that has my pulse kicking into overdrive.
Up close, I can see the slight stubble dusting his jawline, the faint creases at the corners of those soulful eyes. Maturity suits him, but I glimpse a weariness, a newfound weight.
Like he”s a man who has seen and endured far too much for his years. A feeling I know all too intimately.
”Jermaine,” I murmur, voice catching in my throat. ”I, uh...you don”t look so bad yourself.”
The barest hint of a smile curves those full lips as he dips his head, dark eyes gleaming. ”Shall we?”
I nod mutely, unable to tear my gaze away. Jermaine extends his arm in a courtly gesture, and I slip my hand into the crook of his elbow without a second thought.
His hand curls around mine, and suddenly, the memory of his touch—the rough caress of callused palms gliding over my bare skin, the scorching heat of his mouth trailing searing kisses down my body—comes rushing back with dizzying intensity.
I know what I want—what I need.
And it”s him. All of him.
Jermaine presses my arm into his side, emanating scorching waves of heat that have my skin tingling.
We move in silence down the stairs and out into the humid night. My pulse thunders in my ears with every step, fueled by the anticipation and dizzying swirl of desire coiling low in my belly.
This night, this indulgence, is finally within reach. And some reckless part of me can”t wait to get lost in the fantasies and what-ifs that have haunted me for over a decade.
Because after tonight, one way or another, Jermaine Knights will be out of my system for good.