Chapter 13 Noah
Noah
“You know sometimes, Ms.Crystal, I wonder about you.”
“I know, Noah, but you know Mama said that he—”
“I don’t care what your mama said; we knew Neville a long time ago. We’ve all changed. Well, all of us except that crazy-ass Chevy. She’s always been a selfish hag. So you say he ain’t got that jug head no more?”
“Uh-huh, that’s gone. And I gotta tell you, Noah, he is very good-looking now.”
“Hmm, someone sounding like they sweet on their new roommate.”
“I am not!”
“Why are you screeching, hon? You know what the old people say: ‘When you’re loud, you’re wrong,’?” I said, and added two finger snaps for flavor.
“Whatever, Noah.”
“Okay, girl. Don’t let Neville talk you out of your Victoria’s Secrets!”
“You know, I don’t know why I call you.”
“Ha, ’cause I’m going to tell you the real deal.”
“So you say. Hey, by the by, did your new neighbors move in yet?”
“Oh, yes. They’re all moved in, and in fact I was over there just the other day with a plate of my famous chocolate chip cookies. A little welcome-to-the-neighborhood gift.”
“Cookies? You baking now?”
“A man can pick up a lot of new hobbies when he has time on his hands, Miss Thing.”
“Oh.”
“Anyhoo, so that Ray-Ray is a fine, tight little scrumptious something!”
“Noah!”
“Look, girlfriend, I’m in a relationship, I’m not dead, you know. I can still observe, admire, and well…fantasize!”
“Noooooah!”
“I know my name, Crystal. Damn, stop wearing it out. Anyway, Ray-Ray is Jamaican, but had been living in New York since he was eight years old. He met Aldo in Holland—”
“What was he doing in Holland?”
“No doubt sitting his fine ass up in one of those weed bars, smoking a spliff and dreaming of his childhood on the streets of Kingston!” I wailed with laughter.
“You are so stupid, Noah.”
“Anyway, it doesn’t seem like he’s doing much of anything now except spending Aldo’s money. Chile, after we ate a few cookies and drank some champagne—”
“Cookies and champagne?”
“Crystal, dear, please stop interrupting me. Now where was I? Oh yeah, after the cookies and champagne, we went to Harrods, and you’ll never guess who we saw there?”
“Who?”
“Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown!”
“Get out!”
“I’m serious, girl. They were acting the fools for that ol’ tired show of his.”
“Being Bobby Brown.”
“Uh-huh. We were standing there watching them cut up, and when I looked over at Ray-Ray, he had his arms folded across his chest and his face all screwed up like someone had dropped an egg. Then all of a sudden, Whitney turned around and looked dead at us, and said, ‘Ray-Ray, is that you?’?”
“Stop. You’re. Lyyyyyyyyyyyyyying!”
“If I’m lying, I’m flying, and, girl, both my feet planted right here on my hardwood floors.”
“Whitney Houston knows your new neighbor Ray-Ray? Ray-Ray…um…”
“Barker. Ray-Ray Barker. Yes, she does. I know you gonna ask me how, but I can’t answer that question.
I just met the man, for chrissakes. But I tell you this, Ray-Ray ain’t even spit on Whitney.
He rolled his eyes, rolled his head on his neck, and turned on his heels like she was the one the offensive odor was coming from that got his face all screwed up in the first place. ”
“I can’t even breathe. I can’t breathe, Noah. This shit is unbelievable.”
“Guuuuuuuuuuurrrrl, I was there and I still don’t believe it. I just followed him, figuring he would share what his beef was with Miss Thing, but he hasn’t said a word and that was nearly a week ago.”
“So what does Zhan think about them?”
“Zhan hasn’t met either one of them yet—you know, with his hours and all. But I’m planning a small dinner party this weekend, and I’ve invited them over.”
“Well, you like them…Well, at least you like Ray-Ray, so I’m sure Zhan will like him too.”
“Well, I hope so.”
“Okay, baby, gotta go.”
“Love you, sweetie.”
“Love you too, bye.”