Chapter 38 Noah
Noah
I opened the door to find Ray-Ray standing there with a bottle of wine in his hands. Aldo was standing behind him. They were both grinning and a bit flushed in the face.
I was taken off guard. Of course I was always happy to see Ray-Ray, loved that we could kick back together and talk about some of the favorite haunts we visited as we grew into our queer identities.
It was always amazing to us that while we had frequented the same gay clubs and lounges, we’d never met each other.
Although we did find out that we had some acquaintances (and former lovers) in common.
We always fell quiet during some part of our reverie when our minds stumbled on the thought of the amount of friends we’d lost to AIDS over the years. We had remained infection-free by the grace of God. ’Cause Lord knows we had taken some stupid risks over the years.
“Hey, guys,” I said brightly. Even though just seeing Aldo standing there, with his hand affectionately resting on Ray-Ray’s arm, made my stomach churn.
“Are we interrupting your supper?” Ray-Ray asked as he stepped in.
“No, not at all.”
Zhan was seated in his leather recliner, sipping a cup of peppermint tea. He had the paper open in his lap. Miles Davis filled the background and there was a lavender-scented candle burning on the windowsill.
“Well, hello.” Zhan peered at Aldo and Ray-Ray over the rims of his reading glasses.
We were dressed in baggy T-shirts and loose cotton shorts—our normal evening attire—while Aldo and Ray-Ray were wearing silk shirts and linen slacks. “Are you guys headed out?” I asked when I closed the door.
“No, no. We’ve just come back from dinner, and Aldo wanted us to stop by and maybe have a few glasses of wine with you two before we turned in for the night,” Ray-Ray said as he moved into the kitchen and set the bottle down on the butcher-block top of the center island.
“Oh,” I said. “That was nice of you.”
Zhan nodded approvingly when I held the wine bottle up for him to see. “A very good year indeed!” He clapped his hands together and then looked over at Aldo and said, “You have very good taste, old man.”
“Grazie,” Aldo said.
I opened the bottle and pulled four crystal wineglasses out of the cabinet. “Let it breathe for about ten minutes,” Aldo instructed.
“Okay,” I said, and then went for the water crackers in the pantry and the brie we always kept at the ready on the dairy shelf in the fridge. “I wish I had some grapes,” I complained under my breath.
“It’s okay, darling,” Zhan called over to me. “The cheese and crackers will do.”
Ray-Ray chose to sit in Aldo’s lap. I made myself comfortable on one of the floor pillows nearest Zhan’s chair. The three of them fell into an easy conversation. I remained mostly silent, amazed at how natural Aldo could behave when he was screwing around on his man!
It wasn’t until after we’d smoked some hash that I felt relaxed enough to actively participate in the conversation. By then my head was clouded, and I couldn’t care less about mostly everything.
Zhan had said something really funny, and I was laughing so hard my sides were beginning to ache. When I finally got myself under control, and lifted my glass to drain the last drops of the Pinot Noir, Aldo cleared his throat and Ray-Ray dropped the bomb.
“We were wondering,” he began as he seductively stroked the back of Aldo’s neck, “if you guys ever swapped.”
“Swapped?” Zhan and I questioned in unison.
“Swapped what?” I said.
“Keys.” Aldo’s voice was low.
“Keys? I don’t understand,” Zhan said.
Ray-Ray was curling himself up tight in Aldo’s lap. He planted a kiss on his cheek and then looked back at Zhan and me—both of us confused.
“You know, you give me the key to your apartment and we give you the key to ours.”
Like a ton of bricks, it hit me. I knew exactly what they were talking about. My high went right out the window and I felt my back go rigid.
“You mean, like, for emergencies?” Zhan said, still not understanding.
A throaty laugh emanated from Aldo and he levied hefty slaps on Ray-Ray’s behind. “Is that what you call it?” Aldo grinned.
Zhan had a foolish smile on his face when he looked down at me. “Do you know what they’re talking about?”
I slowly nodded my head.
Zhan and I had shared our fantasies with each other.
I wanted to make butt-naked love in the middle of an open field, and Zhan wanted to have a threesome.
He’d obliged my fantasy one night in Prospect Park and I’d told him that I would do the same for him, whenever he was ready.
Well, that was before I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.
Now, I didn’t want him to even look at another man, much less fuck him!
“It’s late,” I abruptly announced, and pulled myself into a standing position. The look on Zhan’s face wavered.
“What’s wrong, Noah?” he said to my quickly retreating back, and then to Aldo, “Please explain to me what it is that you two are talking about.”
Ray-Ray opened his mouth, and I flew back into the living room and parked myself in between Ray-Ray and Zhan.
Bending over, I gave Aldo and Ray-Ray a good view of my tight ass.
My face was an inch from Zhan when I said, “They’re talking about swapping partners.
You fuck one of them and one of them will fuck me, or we can all get together and do a ménage à quatre! ”
Zhan’s eyes bulged and he strained his neck to look around me at Aldo and Ray-Ray, who were sitting there with their eyebrows raised.
“Really?” Zhan said, the confusion in his face replaced with curiosity.
I went erect and placed my hands on my hips. “Oh, no, you didn’t!”
“I don’t see anything wrong with talking about it,” Zhan said as he leaned forward and used his hand to gently move me aside. “You’ve done this before, have you?” he asked Aldo.
I’d been dismissed. Ignored. Pushed aside like a jilted lover!
“Yes. Many, many times.”
“I’ve always been interested in, you know—” Zhan started, then stopped when he glanced my way and saw that my eyes were throwing daggers at his throat.
“It has saved our sex life,” Ray-Ray said, and then leaning in, he whispered to Zhan, “Let me talk to him,” and nodded in my direction.
There wasn’t anything to talk about. It just wasn’t going to happen!
“Walk with me, talk with me,” Ray-Ray said as he gently took me by the elbow and led me across the floor to a quiet corner.
“Now look, Noah,” he said in a soft voice, “it’s nothing for you to get upset about.
We like you and Zhan and would love to share this glorious experience with the two of you.
” He murmured this as if our fucking one another was as natural as the four of us sharing a pupu platter. “What are your fears?”
I had plenty. For one thing, Zhan might really like it!
“I’m not afraid—” I began to lie.
“Hush,” Ray-Ray said, and pressed his index finger against my lips.
“Don’t lie to me,” he breathed before cocking his head to one side and eyeing me.
“I was afraid too, the first time. It was about three years ago. I didn’t want my man sleeping with anyone but me.
But I also wanted to make him happy, so I allowed it.
It was a friend of ours, just as you and Zhan are friends.
His name was Darryl. I had always been attracted to him, and I guess Aldo had seen that. ”
I opened my mouth to utter something obscene, but the look Ray-Ray gave me caused me to clam right back up.
“It was…” Ray-Ray’s eyes rolled back in his head, and then his eyelids fluttered wildly. It looked as if he were having an orgasm right there in the corner of my living room. That or a seizure.
“…magnificent,” Ray-Ray finished.
He seemed to need a minute or two to compose himself before he went on.
There was a light film of sweat on his forehead, and it took everything in me not to reach over and wipe it away.
“You have no idea what it’s like to unleash yourself sexually with another man while your mate watches and then participates. It’s—It’s heaven.”
I just blinked at him. The skin on Ray-Ray’s arms was goosebumping and his cheeks had suddenly developed a twitch. Damn, I thought, that shit must have been good, because the memory alone is getting this man all hot and bothered.
I licked my lips. Suddenly my throat was dry, and there was heat pushing up from my groin. Was I getting hot and bothered?
I looked across the room and whatever it was Aldo was saying to my man had Zhan all red in the face. No doubt, Aldo was sharing the same story.
“Just think about it,” Ray-Ray said, and patted me on the shoulder.
***
That night, Zhan and I lay in bed together, pretending of course to be sound asleep. We hadn’t spoken about Aldo and Ray-Ray’s proposal, but lying there in the dark, the sounds from the street floating up and filtering through our open window, I knew that we were both thinking about it.