Chapter 6
MATTEO
I hike through the woods, one hand tucked in my pocket while holding my phone with the other, using the light app to guide me.
Alexei said I couldn’t come from the trails near campus, so I had to drive around to the street on the other side of the woods and walk.
I’m already trembling from the chill in the air, but an even colder breeze passes over me, making my body shiver even more.
The past few days, I’ve been a wreck, worried sick about Alexei.
Then he told me that shit about his brother.
I’m haunted by his words and how difficult they were to get out as he shared this dark part of his life.
And now I understand his desperation, and I’m even more concerned that the Alpha Alpha Mu guys are taking advantage of him.
“Meet me in the woods.”
I don’t know what the hell he wants, but I tried to reason with him, only for him to insist he had to show me, and then he left the library study room. Later, he texted me where to meet him, his last text reading: If you don’t come, I’ll understand.
Of course, whatever the hell he’s into, I’m not gonna leave him, and if I find out those frat assholes are pulling a fucked-up prank on him or worse, they’ll discover he was the wrong guy to fuck with.
I’m worried I might have read Alexei’s instructions wrong, but then I come up to a dilapidated shed.
A light flashes on before moving toward me.
It looks like it’s floating, until Alexei draws near.
Unlike me, he’s using an actual flashlight.
He’s bundled up in a coat and a beanie, tufts of his lengthy bangs hanging loose, his breath fogging up in front of him.
“It’s cold as fuck out,” I say, which makes him chuckle.
“Welcome to the past few shitty weeks of my life. Now let’s get to it. I’ll let you know when you need to turn out your light.”
“You aren’t gonna give me any clues about where we’re going?”
He shakes his head. “You need to see this for yourself. I wish there was another way, but I can’t get an audio or visual recording of any of it, and even if I could, I doubt that would be enough to persuade you.”
What a weird thing to say. What would he need to get a recording of, and what would prevent him from getting it?
He guides me through the woods, and after a few minutes, we reach a trail. He directs me to turn off my light. Just enough moonlight illuminates the woods, so it’s not too difficult to navigate en route to wherever Alexei is taking us.
We walk in silence, but something’s been weighing on my mind since our conversation, so keeping my voice low, I say, “Earlier, when you said I don’t know what it’s like not knowing, I understood it more than you might realize.”
In my periphery, I see him turn toward me.
“I didn’t lose anyone, at least not like you did your brother.
But…I was adopted as a baby. When I got older and asked about my biological parents, Mom and Dad told me they had to sign an NDA preventing them from ever telling me.
Fucked with my head. I had to know. I had to understand why they gave me up.
I knew—hoped, maybe—it must have been hard on them, but it didn’t have to do with them. I needed an answer.”
“Did you ever find out?”
The memory comes to me, seeing my biological mother for the first time, the horror in her eyes as she looked at me. “His face…you have his face.”
I shake it off. “Yeah. And the truth wasn’t pretty.
” That’s as much as I can bring myself to say.
“Sorry. I just wanted you to know I understand why you need to do this. And given how close you were to your brother, it sounds a hell of a lot worse than what I went through.” Which is why I’m tempted to kick the asses of the frat guys putting Alexei through this.
He’s quiet for a few moments before saying, “I’m sorry for…whatever it is you found out about your biological parents.”
Pain shoots through me. No, I refuse to get emotional.
I shut it down, the way I always do, and we keep on, Alexei guiding me off the trail, deeper into the woods.
We come to a clearing where the cemetery for the old Methodist church is.
I’ve been here during the daytime before, just to check it out with friends.
Alexei checks his phone, then slides it back in his pocket as we navigate through the trees to the old church on the other side.
“Keep quiet when we get close to the church,” he says.
“You’ll see why.” He stops and takes my arm, spinning me back to him.
“What you’re about to see stays between the two of us, okay?
” When I hesitate, he adds, “Matteo, I’m trusting you’ll be discreet.
I don’t want you to share this with anyone, especially not the people you’re about to see. ”
“That I can agree to.”
I would never turn him in to the guys doing this to him, but if he needs help, I’m not sure I can agree not to share this with cult counselors or other mental-health professionals.
He releases my arm, and we continue through the cemetery.
I assume someone’s in the church now—maybe this is where the Alpha Alpha Mus meet for their little sex cult.
When we near the back of the building, he approaches the wall in a spot where there’s a narrow, boarded-up window at the base.
He urges me to get onto my knees with him, and after I do, I notice a sliver of light breaking through the board near his knee.
He points to another crack of light on the other side of the board before getting on his stomach and peering through.
I follow his lead, doing the same on the other side.
The boards on the outside of the window don’t cover it fully, and there’s another board on the inside, but it has a few chips and cracks that expose what I’m guessing is the cellar, where an orange glow illuminates familiar faces.
But it’s not the Alpha Alpha Mu guys.
Surrounded by blackboards and old desks, our roommates, Brad and Luke, are seated on the cement floor.
Brad’s arms are wrapped around Luke from behind as he tugs him close.
They’re sitting in the middle of a symbol—takes me a second to realize it’s a pentagram.
Seth and Cody stand beside them, chatting.
Are these guys a part of this sex cult Alexei’s in? No, not Brad and Luke!
But now it makes more sense why Alexei didn’t want me talking to Brad about what we were doing.
As the guys speak to each other, I can’t make out the words, only muffled sounds.
It’s weird that they chose the cellar of the old church to hang out.
They keep chatting before Seth and Cody sit on the floor, on the opposite side of the pentagram from Brad and Luke.
They cross their legs and rest their hands on their knees, like they’re about to meditate.
Luke and Brad stay in their seated positions, but Brad tightens his hold on Luke. It’s strange, for sure.
I turn my attention to Alexei. With a nod, he encourages me to continue watching.
Tension twists up in my gut. How do I reason with him? I have to come up with a better strategy than I did in the library.
As the guys sit in silence, Brad nuzzles his face against Luke’s neck, kissing softly, and Luke rolls his head back.
It makes me think of those pages Alexei copied.
Jesus, how many students at St. Lawrence are into this crap?
But if these guys get together and meditate…
I don’t know what Alexei thinks that’s going to prove.
It’s freezing on the ground, and I have to reposition with my hands under my chin to get a little more comfortable.
A minute goes by.
Then a few more.
Brad is really going at Luke’s neck, which has me thinking this isn’t something we should be watching, when I notice something happening with the necklace around Luke’s neck.
It’s moving—no, floating up. Slowly but steadily. No, that can’t be right.
I blink a few times. I guess I haven’t slept that well the past few nights, so between that and what Alexei and I have been talking about, my mind’s playing tricks on me.
But my blinks don’t make the illusion go away, and something feels different all of a sudden.
I can’t put my finger on it, but as I assess the room, I realize there’s space under Seth and Cody…
Empty space. Like they’re hovering an inch or two above the ground.
Again, I try to fix my eyes, but it doesn’t change what I’m seeing. This time when I turn to Alexei, he’s watching me. He nods, and my gaze returns to the guys.
This must be a trick. But if it’s not… No, that’s impossible!
As I wrestle with my thoughts, I suddenly understand why Alexei’s come to the point where he believes the things he discovered in that notebook. I realize I haven’t taken a breath, and despite how fucking cold it is, I’m sweating.
Studying the space under Cody and Seth and seeing Luke’s necklace midair are tripping me out, so I rise up on my hands, crawling backward, away from the window.
Alexei gets on his knees and hurries to me.
I open my mouth, about to spit out a “What the fuck?” but Alexei places his hand over my lips.
*
“I haven’t been sleeping well,” I explain. “I’ve been reading about cults…and sleep deprivation can cause hallucinations.”
We’re back at the dorms, Alexei in the window seat in my room as I pace.
“You know that’s not what this is,” Alexei says.
It’s hard to object when, after I pulled away from the window at the church, I went back, checking a few more times in a desperate attempt to restore my faith in the world I’ve always known. But maybe like Alexei, now that I’ve seen this, I’ll never go back.
He’s curled up on the seat, scrolling through his phone, as though what I saw was some mundane thing, like stumbling upon them playing a pickup game midday. “How can you be so chill right now?”
His brows tug closer together. “I’m a bit ahead of you on this. I’ve known about it since before school started. And I’ve been spying on them for about as long.”