Chapter 16
ALEXEI
This is so awkward.
Tension lingers in the air as Matteo and I stand in the church cellar with the Sinners.
I wondered if Cody would make it. Sometimes when he gets knocked down like he did after exorcising Matteo, he’ll miss class and even meeting with the Sinners for days.
But he arrived with Seth, quickly taking a seat at the desk.
He looks pale as fuck, in a daze, but given what we need to discuss, I’m sure he realized it was important to be present, even if just to keep Seth from going at me for round two.
The Sinners stand on one side of the room, Matteo and I on another, an invisible boundary between us.
Even with all my questions and anxiety about how this meeting will go, there’s still some excitement from what Matteo and I shared earlier.
I can still taste him, sense his touch, remember what it felt like when he was staring at me while we fucked.
It was wonderful having that release, to escape from everything that’s happened, not just last night, but throughout my life.
And it helps having him here. Neither of us could compete with their powers if they chose to use them against us, but it’s nice to not feel so alone, which is how I’ve felt ever since I started watching them.
“So…” Matteo drags out, cutting through the uncomfortable silence. “Anyone wanna tell me why there was a dead serial killer in me?”
Despite everything he’s been through and discovered, I can tell he’s trying to use his sense of humor to defuse the tension.
“Why don’t you ask your buddy Alexei,” Seth says, “since you guys have no problem trying out spells you know nothing about.”
“And who are you to judge us for that?” I clap back.
“Okay, okay,” Luke says, his hands in the air. “This is not how this conversation needs to go down. Can we back up a minute? Alexei, why don’t you start at the beginning, and then we’ll get to this? How long have you known about what we’re doing?”
“Since this past summer, right before we came back to school.”
“And how did you find out?” Seth asks.
A knot twists in my chest. “That…I’m not as comfortable sharing…”
Seth clenches his jaw, stepping toward me, a determined look in his eyes. “I’m being nice by asking,” he says through his teeth.
“You call this nice?” Matteo steps toward Seth like he’s gonna intercept him if he tries anything. Seth wouldn’t have an issue getting him to back down, but I appreciate the gesture.
“Seth,” Cody says. “Don’t antagonize them. We need to work together.”
Seth takes a breath, out, and in again. I’ve seen him do it before. Cody, who’s a psych major, must’ve taught him to do this to calm down.
“Alexei,” Cody goes on, “we have things we aren’t willing to share, and I’m sure you have things you’re not willing to share. That’s all fine. There’s nothing wrong with having boundaries we feel will keep us safe. Let’s just try to meet halfway on this.”
It’s comforting seeing that, even with all that’s going on, Cody’s still his reasonable self. I don’t know how the fuck he can stand to be around a guy like Seth, who’s the total opposite.
While Cody takes a few sips from a thermos Seth placed on the desk for him, I consider what I can share with the Sinners before saying, “There’s a group of guys. I don’t wanna out them, but they know about the Sinners. They told me about the group last year and asked me to spy on you for them.”
“How did they find out about us?” Brad inquires.
“I couldn’t tell you. I don’t know their secrets, which now that this has happened, you can see why that was a smart idea. Even if Seth does try to push on me, the most he’s gonna get is their names.”
“So you were spying on me all last semester?” Luke asks, his hurt evident in his tone. The betrayal of someone he thought was his friend.
But it’s time to face the truth. “Yes, I was. I thought it was to protect you from them. Even that night at Alpha Alpha Mu, I thought the Sinners were planning to do something to you, which is why I went out to the woods. Then I saw you and Cody running and raced to catch up. I thought maybe Seth and Brad had done something.” I’m being evasive, leaving out the part where Preston and Finnegan asked me to meet them in the woods, so I don’t accidentally out them to the guys.
Luke studies my expression, as though he’s deciding whether to believe me. “We did wonder why you were in the woods that night. That makes more sense.”
“So why were you working with this group?” Seth asks.
“I needed something, and they offered to help me if I did.”
“What did you need?”
“It’s not really any of your business, is it?” Matteo snaps, which seems to take Seth by surprise.
But I’m glad he said it because I don’t want to go there.
“That’s a boundary for me. What I can share is that it was taking them too long to follow through with their end of the deal, and after how Cody saved me last semester, I realized there was more to all this than they led me to believe.
I also didn’t have any indication they were gonna give me what they promised, so I took something from them I thought would help me do what I needed without them.
And Matteo found out I was planning to perform this spell.
He was worried about me doing it alone, so he did it with me.
And then after we tried it out, that’s when this Farras thing came up. ”
“So now that you know what he was up to,” Matteo says, “maybe we could get some answers about what this Sinners shit is all about.”
Seth groans. “Feels like we just did this with Luke. Freshman year, Cody stumbled upon a book, and we all started learning how to use these powers. It was benefiting all of us, and then Cody started having horrible visions. We were trying to prevent something terrible from happening, and after Luke arrived, he had visions too. They’re what helped Luke kill that thing that attacked you in the woods.
But that same night, we got a message that something even worse is on the way, and we’ve been meeting up more frequently to train in hopes of stopping whatever the hell that is. ”
Brad glares at Seth. “Nice and subtle.”
Seth shrugs. “We don’t have time for this.”
“We think,” Cody adds, “that whoever asked you to spy on us might be why that monster got out last year.”
“Got out?” Matteo asks. “From that place you guys talk about—the Rift?”
Cody nods.
“Well, the guys I was spying for think the Sinners did that,” I say.
“We’re the bad guys in this?” Seth asks.
“I mean, you have kind of made this hard on yourselves,” Matteo adds. “You call yourself the Sinners.”
“That was what the original Sinners called themselves because the school was still more religious and this was blasphemy,” Seth explains. “They weren’t doing anything wrong. They just thought it was fun and cool.”
“It’s certainly not helpful advertising,” Matteo assures them.
“We’ll take the note.” Seth’s not attempting to disguise his sarcasm.
“Let’s say you’re not the bad guys here,” Matteo continues. “You saw what happened to me after one ritual. I can’t imagine what might happen if you practiced this stuff all the time.”
“I can appreciate your concern,” Brad says. “But given that Luke’s and Cody’s visions have come to pass, and the warning we’ve received about something worse coming, what are we supposed to do? Walk away? And then if that happens? How will we live with ourselves?”
He has a point.
“How are you supposed to stop this bad thing from happening?” Matteo asks.
“There’s something from the other side of the Rift,” Cody answers. “A guide named—”
“Kysar?” I ask, recalling the name from other times I’ve spied on them.
Cody nods.
“Yeah, well, the guys I talk to also have a guide. They also can use powers and make things happen, same as you.”
Cody’s lip twists up. “Maybe others have tapped into this same thing to prevent whatever’s coming.”
“Wait,” Seth says, “so there’s basically another group of Sinners walking around campus?”
“Or,” I say, “they could be actually talking to something that’s trying to stop it, and you could be working with something like Farras, who’s trying to make this terrible thing happen.”
“That thing with Matteo,” Luke says, “it happened because you used a spell from them, though. Not us.”
Another reasonable point.
Cody’s expression is strained, as though he’s trying to work out a problem, before he says, “I’m guessing this guide they’re talking to doesn’t trust us if it hasn’t encouraged them to reach out. And if they thought they needed to spy.”
The guys exchange glances. I can tell that’s roused their suspicion, and if what they’re saying is true, I can understand why. It’s obviously crossed my mind that the Saints’ “guide” could be evil.
“So how do you know you can trust this Kysar?” I ask.
Luke says, “It’s what led us to stopping that monster.”
“And it healed you,” Cody tells me.
“What?”
“What you saw and felt when I healed you is the extent of my powers. I have a limited healing ability. That night in the woods, Kysar took control of me to heal you.”
That explains why he could only make my pain go away last night.
“We’ve had good experiences with this guide,” Cody adds. “The visions we’ve received have helped us. We have no reason not to trust him.”
“So this guide…” I start.
“Saved your fucking life,” Seth says.
For the same reason I started having doubts about the Saints when Cody saved me, now I have a whole other reason to have doubts about what Preston shared with me.
“I don’t even know what to do with that,” I say, and the room falls silent.
“It’s okay,” Luke says eventually. “We don’t have to figure everything out in this one meeting. It’s a lot to process.”
I can tell he’s not just telling that to me, but to the rest of the Sinners as well, who look just as thrown by all this new information.
“Luke’s right,” Cody says. “The most we know is that Alexei was using a spell he had no experience with. It could have simply gone bad. Alexei, why don’t you talk to this other group, see if they’ll meet with us.
Communication is what’s important. Maybe if we exchange notes, we can sort through this mess and figure out what’s what.
Would you be willing to talk with them?”
I know he’s right. This is the only way we’ll be able to make sense of this, but I’ve never had a conversation with Preston or the guys like this. They keep things close to their chest, and I can’t imagine how they’ll react when I tell them I started revealing secrets to the enemy.
“He does that,” Matteo says, “and they’re gonna know he betrayed them.”
“I know,” Cody says, “but Alexei saw what that monster was capable of, and I’m hoping he understands this might be our only option.”
I hate that he’s fucking right.