Chapter 18
ALEXEI
Where is he?
I glance around once more and see Matteo heading through the entrance, panic in his expression. I hop up from my seat, and as I approach, I note the sweat beading his forehead.
“Matteo? What’s wrong?”
He hurries past me and slides into the booth, opening his bottle of water and taking a swig. I return to my seat across from him, my head spinning. What the hell could have happened while he was in the restroom?
“I just saw Finnegan,” he explains.
“Did he do something? Did he threaten you?” Even as I say the words, they feel ridiculous. Finnegan’s a friendly guy, but who knows what the Saints might’ve put him up to.
He shakes his head. “Something’s wrong with him. He was shouting at me and—”
“Finnegan? Shouting?”
“Yes, but no. It couldn’t have been him.
His eyes turned dark. Black like Farras’s when I saw him at the foot of my bed, and like what you said I looked like when he was inside me.
It seemed like there was something in him, like with me.
What if once Farras left my body, he found a new host?
You think that’s possible? Or…I don’t know, maybe there are other psychos running around taking bodies from people who have been practicing magic. ”
“We shouldn’t jump to too many conclusions.”
“Am I supposed to pretend I didn’t just see that something’s in him?”
“That’s not what I meant. That’s a safe assumption, but I don’t know that we can speculate on what that is. It could be anything.”
“You’re right. Sorry, just feels like it’s one wild thing after another.”
It’s been a tough few days for him, so I get why he’s on edge. We both are.
I reach over the table and rest my hand on his, squeezing gently.
He takes a breath, and his tension relaxes. After a few moments, he flips his hand over, taking mine. He does it so naturally and effortlessly.
Fuck, I have more important things to think about right now than Matteo holding hands with me.
“We should tell the Sinners,” I say. “They got Farras out of you, so they can get this thing out of him.”
Matteo nods. “Agreed. Let’s text them. Meet at the church. See what they say.”
*
We reach the loose board along the side of the church, and Matteo pulls it back, motioning for me to go ahead. As I step in, I feel his hand against the small of my back. Like when he held my hand, it’s a gesture I note.
Once I’m inside, I turn back to him. As he relaxes his hand, it’s like he didn’t even notice what he was doing. Is this how he’s gonna be now that we’ve admitted we like each other?
I hope so.
I lead the way to the cellar. The Sinners aren’t here yet, so Matteo plops in a chair by a desk, but I can’t sit while I’m this anxious.
“It’s weird having to see Brad and Luke now,” I confess, pacing.
“I hear you. It’s been weird seeing Brad around. Although it must be different for you with the whole…spying-on-them thing.”
That truth makes my guilt burn again.
“Wanna talk about it?” Matteo asks.
My gaze meets his, and he’s looking at me, not like someone who’s being polite, but like he really wants to be here for me. Part of me wants to tuck this away with everything else I keep to myself, but maybe because I’ve already let Matteo see so much of me, so much more than most, I don’t.
“When Preston first told me what I had to do, it didn’t seem so messy.
These Sinner guys were gonna go after Luke, and I had to protect him.
I was doing a good thing, I thought. And I met Luke, and even right from the start…
You ever met someone and it’s like you’re certain you must have been friends in another life? ”
“I felt that way with Brad freshman year. We hit it off so effortlessly.”
“Same. At first, we’d watch movies together and order takeout and just talk about shit.
And I wasn’t lying to him about my life.
I was honest about who I was. Then Luke got recruited into the Sinners, and Preston told me the deal was off if I warned him.
Maybe I should have, but by that point, I was so close.
Then there was that wild night, and Cody healed me, and that got me thinking I might have been wrong about them.
And after that, I started to see them as more than assholes trying to hurt Luke.
I could see myself being friends with these guys. ”
Matteo pushes to his feet. “None of that makes you a bad person. Like you said, you thought you were helping him.”
“But there was a point where if I wasn’t selfish, I would have told him.”
“If he knew your reasons, do you think he would judge you? I wouldn’t.”
Maybe he’s right, but that doesn’t take this guilty feeling away.
And it’s more than that.
“There’s that part,” I go on, “but then there’s this other that wonders if I can trust them. Everything they told us makes sense, but I felt that way about Preston. And then I’m like, well, who the fuck thinks that about someone they want to be friends with?”
He takes my hand, massaging the back with his thumb.
“Mmm. That feels good,” I say. “Reminds me of the night at the factory. That massage.”
A smile sweeps across his face. “Maybe that’s what you need right now.” He releases my hand and grabs hold of my shoulders, rubbing gently. I ease into his hold, my body eager to feel that relief again.
“Here, come sit down.” He guides me to the desk, and I settle in. He steps behind me, his hands gripping my shoulders, offering a gentle rub, then firming it.
“Oh fuck,” I say as he hits a tender spot. “Right there.” And he works it with his thumbs.
“Too much stress for this body of yours,” he says.
“It’s a lot to think about. But if the Sinners are the good guys in all this, I have a hard time believing that if they knew your story, they’d judge you for it.
They’d be lucky to have you as a friend, and if they can’t see that, that’s their loss. ”
“I guess,” I say, unable to disguise my doubts.
“I’m sorry, it’s easy to give advice when you’re not the one going through it.” He squats down, and as I turn, his face is only inches from mine. “And I know it’s not the kind of thing where I can say anything that’ll magically fix it.”
“I appreciate your trying, though.”
He leans close, offering a kiss. A fresh wave of relief moves through me, mixing with the relief he already gave my back.
Keeping our lips together, he straddles me, his arms hooking around me, like his mission is to get his tongue as far into my mouth as he can manage.
It’s a welcome distraction, one I embrace until he finally pulls away.
“Since my words can’t magically fix it, I figured I’d see if a kiss might,” he teases, which makes me smile. “Did it work?”
I shake my head. “I think you might have to try again.”
“Maybe we just keep trying until it works,” he says before his mouth pushes firmly against mine again.
We hear some commotion upstairs, but we linger on each other until we hear the creak of the cellar door. He slides off me just as we see Luke and Brad heading down the stairs.
“Seth and Cody should be here in a few,” Luke says, his gaze drifting before looking back to me. “Everything okay?”
“Not really,” I say, “but we should wait until the others are here.”
He and Brad exchange a look.
In a perfect world, Seth and Cody would walk right in and keep this from getting any more awkward, but minutes go by, and they’re still not here.
Luke and Brad settle at desks, pretty much ignoring us.
I think about those days I told Matteo about, when Luke and I would hang out and have good times together.
Back when he saw me as a friend. Even when I was helping the Saints out, a part of what we had felt real—at least, it did to me—and I hate that I can’t get those moments back.
“How are you doing?” I ask Luke.
He appears surprised by my question. Brad glances between us, as though unsure what to think about it either.
“I’m doing all right, Alexei.”
“Your uncle okay?” Luke’s uncle is all he has, since he lost both his parents when he was young. Luke was always telling me about what he’s up to and how he’s doing, so it feels like maybe hearing how he’s been will make things feel a little more normal.
“He’s making up for his Maui business trip. He’s there all weekend.”
“That sounds nice.”
I smile, but nearly as quickly, Luke turns to Brad, ignoring me again. Of course, I knew that just asking about his life and family wasn’t gonna magically fix everything, but…it stings.
Were we ever really friends when I believed what they were doing was wrong? When I was invading their privacy regularly and reporting back against them?
Before I can dwell on those unsettling thoughts, we hear commotion upstairs, and a few moments later Cody appears, followed by Seth.
“What have you guys done this time?” Seth asks. “Opened a portal to hell?”
Cody ignores his jab. “What’s wrong?”
Matteo hops up from the desk and shares what happened while we were at the cafeteria and how Finnegan reacted.
“You think it might be Farras?” Brad asks.
“No clue,” Matteo replies, “but maybe.”
“So we get him out here,” Seth says. “I ask some questions, and we do the same thing we did with Matteo, right?”
It’s a relief hearing him say something useful for a change.
“Yeah, but…” Cody seems to hesitate, then says, “What if the other guys you were spying on us for know what’s happened to Finnegan and aren’t doing anything?
They might try to protect whatever’s inside him.
And we don’t know what they’re capable of.
Alexei, do you know what they can do? I know you have a boundary here, but I’m sure you can see why this would be helpful to know. ”
Even what we’ve shared about Finnegan has already given away too much.
Doesn’t take a genius to figure out that this likely happened to Finnegan because he was fucking with magic, and by extension, that means his bestie Preston is likely involved too.
So they have two of the four members of the Saints in mind already.
But given what’s happening now, I figure fuck it if this means we save Finnegan and others.
“They do it behind closed doors, so I have no idea what each specializes in.”
“We have powers too,” Brad reminds them.
“Yeah,” Cody says, “but they have the advantage because Alexei’s already told them what we’re capable of.”
“So?” Luke asks. “They don’t know what we’re planning. If we can get Finnegan on his own…”
“Cody’s right,” I say. “Farras had access to Matteo’s thoughts. That’s how he knew about what Matteo and I did together. It was one thing when you were using your powers against him because Matteo didn’t understand any of this stuff, but Finnegan does.”
“I’m not following,” Matteo says.
“We don’t have the same advantage we did the other night.
Assuming this isn’t Farras, if something is in Finnegan, it could be aware of all the things I told those other guys about the Sinners, and it maybe also knows how to use the powers they have access to.
And if it is Farras, then he already knows what you’re capable of from the night you exorcised him from Matteo’s body. ”
“That’s a problem,” Seth says.
“Might be one we have to risk,” Cody adds.
“No, you’re the one taking the risk,” Seth clarifies.
“None of these other guys have to actually get in there and then be down for days. Luke nearly killed you when you did that to him, and he didn’t even know what he was doing.
Cody, you can’t keep putting your life on the line like this. It isn’t right or fair.”
“Wait. What happened?” Matteo asks.
Luke says, “When I first got here, Cody tried to use his power to affect my mental state, and neither of us knew then that I also have a similar power. I was able to wipe him out pretty good for a few days, like what happened when he got Farras out of you.”
“Only that wasn’t as bad,” Cody says. “I’m stronger since Kysar possessed me. It’s helped me tap into my powers. I can do this.”
“And you don’t even need to be present?” Matteo asks.
“Not if I can get something from him,” Cody says. “Ideally a personal item that has some of him on it.”
“You said that in a weird way,” Matteo says. “Like a cum rag?”
Cody tilts his head just as Brad blurts out, “It doesn’t have to be that. We used hairs from the shower drain for Luke.”
Matteo and I cringe at the same time.
“Clearly, I’m not gonna have a say in this,” Seth mutters.
“Seth made a good point about Luke really hurting you when we tried this last time,” Brad adds.
“When Luke lashed out at me, I didn’t die,” Cody says.
“Farras didn’t have a way of fighting me when I got to him last time, and if it’s not him, whatever it is won’t see it coming.
Can we really risk not trying anything? We all know what would have happened if we hadn’t stopped him.
Matteo probably would have gone on some spree and done God knows what with his victims. Sorry, I mean Farras. ”
I catch Matteo’s expression. Cody couldn’t have known, but that was the wrong thing to say, given what he’s been grappling with. His fear that something inside him might have been why Farras chose him.
Matteo takes a deep breath. “So what’s the plan?”