CHAPTER 24 #2
“It matters because you got through an entire game of football with your lowest post-match pain levels yet,” I reasonably point out. “And that’s worth noting.”
He shrugs, eyes still hidden from view. “Hardly matters anyway. Not now the entire league has a blueprint on how to beat Casey Calloway at his game.”
“How? By double teaming you and leaving a loose player out on the field? Case, you’re only in your third season.
You’ll work on that part of your game just like Coach said.
And the rest of your team will catch on to the fact there’s a loose player out there and punish the opposition for it.
It’s one quiet game, Case. It doesn’t define you as a player. ”
He says nothing but his sigh is long and shaky, and I know he heard me. He just needs a little reassurance right now and that needs to be from me, not his physiotherapist. Me . I wish I could hug him, but I can’t do that here and I wouldn’t even if we had a private space.
I tap his knee, and he pulls himself off the table. He steps to the door to leave, stalling as his fingers drum against the doorframe.
“Thanks, Harry,” he says so quietly I hardly hear it, but he leaves me with a smile.
By the time the team is ready to catch the bus back to the hotel, Casey is wearing headphones over his ears and avoiding eye contact with anyone. Sonny bumps up beside me, eyes on the retreating form of his friend as he climbs the steps onto the bus.
“Don’t let him push you away,” he says quietly, eyes still on his friend.
“He gets in his head sometimes. It’s best if he’s not left alone with his thoughts when he’s like that.
” Sonny eyeballs me then, waiting to see if I’m going to play along.
But Casey is too important to be playing games or pretending like he doesn’t matter to me.
So I nod at Sonny. “I’ve got him,” I say. Sonny squeezes my arm before he boards the bus, leaving me to follow behind.
I don’t have a chance to catch Casey at the hotel, and he’s gone by the time I make my way into the lobby. Ben and Tim want a quick injury debrief which I impatiently wait out before I head straight for the elevators, hitting the floor to Casey’s room.
Izak answers when I knock and he seems relieved when he finds me standing in the hallway.
“Hey,” he says, knocking the door back far enough so I can spy my sad footballer leaning against the headboard, headphones still covering his ears, eyes softly closed.
“Think I can borrow your roomie for a bit?” I say, sparing a glance at Izak.
“Be my guest,” he answers. I step into the room just as Casey opens his eyes. They widen when he sees me but his lips tug up just a fraction.
“Come for a walk?” I ask, tapping his foot.
Casey’s eyes slide to Izak but there’s no suspicions coming from his roommate, just an easy acceptance that I am the best person to deal with Casey Calloway right now.
“Yeah. Okay,” Casey agrees, rushing to pull his shoes on. He grabs his room card as he follows behind me. “Don’t wait up,” he calls over his shoulder.
Casey falls into step beside me, a silent presence at my side as we walk to the elevator bank and hit the button.
“Where are we going?” Casey asks.
“My room,” I tell him.
“So not a walk …?”
“We’re walking,” I protest, illustrating my point as we step onto the elevator. He chuffs a laugh but doesn’t reply and we make our way to my floor in silence.
I lead him to my room, and he steps inside, all the way to the large window and the darkened view of the city. The Swan River curves like a velvet ribbon below us, the inky surface reflecting the streetlights while the city skyline rises in glass towers of golds and silvers.
I follow, pulling him against my chest and resting my chin on his shoulder. He leans into my touch, head resting against mine.
“Don’t push me away,” I murmur in his ear.
He lets out a low sigh. “I don’t mean to, Harry. I just don’t think I’m good company sometimes.”
“I’m not just here for the good times, Casey,” I tell him, tightening my hold on him. I feel his breath hitch at my words, right before he relaxes in closer, folding himself into my arms.
He lets me hold him for a while, just a gentle stroke of his arm in the otherwise silent room. At length he swivels in my arms so we’re facing each other, his expression sad but not so helpless as before.
“I don’t think I feel like sex tonight, H,” he sighs softly.
“I didn’t bring you back here for sex, sweet,” I chuff, reaching out to run my fingers through his hair.
“No?” he asks, chasing my fingers for more.
“No. I want to cuddle you and hold you and make sure everything’s okay up here,” I tell him, clutching his head between my hands. “I don’t want you up in your head all night thinking you don’t have support.”
The smile he exhales is sweet and soft and makes me feel all sorts of feelings as he looks back at me. “You’re kind of amazing, Harrison Thornfield.”
“I also have a spa in my bathroom,” I pose, grateful for the unexpected upgrade the Fever fronted.
“I noticed,” he replies, lips tugging up at the sides.
“It’s big enough for two.”
“I noticed .”
He smiles as I slide my hand down his arm to twine his fingers through mine.
I give him a tug, and he comes easily as I drag his arm over my shoulder and lead him towards my bathroom.
He waits patiently while I run the water, and then we wait a little longer because this tub really is huge and it’s taking ages to fill.
Eventually the water level is deep enough, and I help Casey out of his clothes, dropping them on the floor at his feet.
He waits until I’ve shucked my clothes and then we step into the water together.
I sit and he shifts into the space between my legs, back resting against my front, head on my chest.
He feels like he was made to fit me like this, made just for me.
It’s a feeling I recognise but I push it down because it’s too fast, too soon, too crazy to be feeling things like this.
Not about a professional athlete who will always have to hide our relationship if it ever develops into one.
Not about someone on the other side of the planet from home who comes with a twelve-month expiry date.
But I shove those thoughts aside and just let myself enjoy him, enjoy this feeling of having him like this and getting to be the one who helps him process his feelings after a tough day at the office.
I wash his body all over, massaging him gently as I toy with him and leave us both hard in the water but we both just ignore it as he smiles against my chest.
Afterwards I dry him off with a towel, something I seem to have made a habit of when we share hotel rooms together. And then we climb under the sheets, and he snuggles his warm, naked body into me. He doesn’t fall asleep straight away, looking back at me with those big, open blue-green eyes.
“No one’s ever been able to silence the critics in my head,” Casey murmurs, voice soft. “No one except you.”
My heart gives a loud, resounding thud in my chest as I squeeze those beautiful words inside there and try not to show how much they mean to me. I don’t think I am capable of speech right now. Instead, I slide closer, pulling him into me and he drifts off to sleep, safe in my arms.