Continued, Field Notes on Love
Outside, Leo is waiting. It’s started to snow, the flakes heavy and wet, and they settle thickly over his dark hair and the shoulders of his jacket.
“All set?” he asks, already starting to walk in the direction of the bus stop. I hurry after him, skidding a little in the fresh snow.
“Do you have any idea how much this ticket could be worth?” I say, still trying to get my head around the number.
Leo raises his eyebrows. “A million?”
“No.”
“Two?”
“Three hundred and eighty-three million,” I tell him, then add, in case it isn’t entirely clear: “Dollars.”
“That’s only if you win,” he says, grinning. “Most people get nothing but a piece of paper.”
I feel for the ticket in my pocket. “Still,” I say, as we arrive at the three-sided shelter of the bus stop. “It’s kind of crazy, isn’t it?”
We sit down on the bench, our breath making clouds that hang in the air before disappearing.
The snow has a sting to it, and the wind off the lake is icy and sharp.
We scoot closer together for warmth. Leo is my cousin, but really he feels more like my brother.
I’ve been living with his family ever since I was nine, after my parents died a little more than a year apart.
In the hazy aftermath of that horrible time, I found myself plucked out of San Francisco—the only home I’d ever known—and set down halfway across the country with my aunt and uncle in Chicago.
Leo was the one to save me. When I arrived I was still reeling, stunned by the unfairness of a world that would take away my parents one at a time with such coldhearted precision.
But Leo had decided it was his job to look out for me, and it was one he took seriously, even at nine.
We were an odd pair. I was wispy and pale, with hair like my mother’s, so blond it took on a slightly pinkish hue in certain light.
Leo, on the other hand, had inherited his liquid brown eyes and messy thatch of dark hair from his own mom.
He was funny and kind and endlessly patient, whereas I was quiet and heartsick and a little withdrawn.
But right from the start, we were a team: Leo and Alice.
And, of course, Teddy. From the moment I arrived, the two of them—inseparable since they were little—took me under their wing, and we’ve been a trio ever since.
When the bus appears, its headlights hazy in the whirling snow, we climb on.
I slide into a seat beside the window, and Leo sinks down next to me with his long legs stretched into the empty aisle, a puddle already forming around his wet boots.
I reach into my bag for the birthday card I bought for Teddy, then hold out a hand, and without even needing to ask, Leo passes over the heavy fountain pen he always carries with him.
“So I ended up stealing your idea,” he says, pulling a pack of cigarettes from his coat pocket. He twirls them between his fingers, looking pleased with himself. “Another perk of turning eighteen. I know he doesn’t smoke, but I figure it’s still better than the IOU for a hug he gave me.”
“You got a hug?” I say, looking over at him. “I got one for a free ice cream, which I somehow ended up paying for anyway.”
Leo laughs. “Sounds about right.”
I pin the card against the seat in front of me, trying to keep it steady against the bouncing of the bus.
But as I stare at the blank interior, my heart starts to hammer in my chest. Leo notices me hesitate and shifts in his seat, angling himself toward the aisle to give me some privacy.
I stare at his back for a second, wondering whether he’s just being polite or whether he’s finally guessed my secret, a thought that makes my face burn.