9. Wild Things
WILD THINGS
Well, she got him here and what does she do? Go on like a fool.
But Baker asked a question and she gave the same practiced response she did to everyone else.
It was the truth. Shane wasn’t in the picture.
“I’m glad you’ve got your parents to help if you’re doing it alone,” he said.
“Me too. So, let’s talk about you. You’re here having dinner with me. If you’ve got a girlfriend or significant other, I’m not sure that is smart.”
She wasn’t positive that Jolene was trying to match her up with Baker. It was only her assumption.
Maybe he had someone in his life and if that was the case, she had to find some way to unravel herself from this sticky mess.
No way she was going through it again.
“I’m single,” he said. “You?”
“Single as a Pringle.”
He laughed. “By choice or circumstance?”
With no hesitation, she said, “Both.”
“Are you going to explain that or do we just talk about work?”
He was here and it was kind of a date. Maybe.
Pathetic in her eyes if she thought that.
But in the ten minutes it took for him to run home and her to hope he returned, she decided she was going to be straightforward with him. She was going to bring up Jolene and see if she was losing her mind.
She just had to figure out the best way to do it.
“Well, not too many people want to get involved with a single mother. I didn’t use a dating site before I had Micah and I sure the heck wouldn’t now.”
“Dating sites are for desperate people.”
“I thought the same. I’m over the bar scene. Been there and done that. I’ve been a little busy the past two years, so I’m not actively looking though I’ve been on a few dates.”
“How old is Micah?”
“Fourteen months,” she said. “I’ve not been with anyone since I was pregnant.”
Best way to say that without coming out and saying how long it’d actually been.
“If you’re not actively looking, how did you end up on dates?”
“You know what is worse than dating sites?”
“No, what?” he asked.
“Blind dates. No freaking way ever again.”
“I’ll take a pass there.”
“I should have too. Not just once, nor twice, but three times I did it. Not sure why.”
“Do you like to punish yourself?” he asked, his eyes wide. “Or just a slow learner?”
“Some might say both. It was more that I was feeling the pressure. The first time was a coworker. She introduced us at a quick party. The guy was leaving when I got there, I got his number and we chatted for a week before our first date. He didn’t know I’d had a child.
Micah was five months old and he was so appalled that I’d consider dating like I was some harlot. ”
“Fuck him,” he said.
“No, thank you. I didn’t nor would I, though I think he thought I would when I didn’t want a second date and he was calling me. Like I shouldn’t be offended over his reaction to me going on a date I hadn’t even wanted.”
Best not to think of that. She still barely talked to Linda for setting her up with Todd and not even giving him a heads up about her background.
Baker leaned back and crossed his ankles in front of him. He looked as if he was getting comfortable, which would make it much easier to continue. “At least you can joke about it.”
“It’s all I can do. The second date was a friend’s cousin. I’d met him once before. He seemed nice. But the minute I said I had a child, he said he wasn’t interested. We didn’t even finish the date. I was so embarrassed.”
Getting dressed up, just looking to have a night out with another adult. That was part of the excitement for her.
She wasn’t looking for long term. Nothing more than a few hours of conversation.
“He got up and walked out?”
His dark eyes were slanted and one fist clenched as if he was going to hunt whoever that jerk was down and beat him to a pulp.
“Close enough. I don’t even remember his name.
I’m trying to push it from my mind. But we had our drinks, and I thought I’d be open and upfront.
I told him about Micah, who was nine months old at that time.
He said that there was no need to waste our time or his money on dinner, he didn’t want that headache. His words exactly.”
“I didn’t know there could be bigger assholes out there than my father,” he said.
“Oh, don’t think we aren’t going to talk about that.”
“Sorry,” he said, shaking his head. “Talk about drama. Tell me about the last date.”
She’d store his comment away for another day.
“My parents. They knew how the first two dates went. They were pushing me to try again. Not really a blind date. Someone I knew back in high school, but never hung out with. He found me on social media and reached out. I didn’t have pictures of Micah on there.
I decided to not even say I had a child this time.
I just thought it’d be nice to get through one date without that hanging over my head and wanting to climb through a window. ”
“I’m almost afraid to ask what happened.”
“It was worse,” she said, shaking her head.
“He talked about how he’d already gotten a vasectomy.
He hated to wear condoms and knew he’d never have a child, so it wasn’t a big deal.
He led right into it as, if I wanted kids, he wasn’t the man.
I suppose I couldn’t fault him for being upfront, but still. ”
“Did you find a window to crawl out of?”
“It was close,” she said. “But we got through the meal, found something to talk about from our high school days and when he went to give me a kiss goodnight, I said I had a good time but it wouldn’t work.”
“How long ago was that?”
“Three months ago. So there is the not trying. I never really was to begin with but thought it wouldn’t hurt.”
“What about this?” he asked. “Right now.”
His hand was moving back and forth. “A thank you dinner.”
“Got it.”
But the smirk on his face said he really didn’t.
“Okay,” she said, twisting the cap on her water bottle. “You won’t think I’m nuts if I tell you something, right?”
He huffed a soft laugh. “You’ve confessed some pretty wild things lately and I haven’t flinched yet. Go on.”
“I like you.” The words came out too fast, too quiet. “You’ve got a good personality.”
A ridiculous statement for a man she’d never imagined she’d be sitting this close to, or feeling this drawn to.
“Ditto,” he said simply. “So what is it you’re trying to say?”
She took a long drink, letting the cool water help her swallow past the thick knot forming in her throat. Then she forced the name out.
“Jolene.”
His brow rose. “What about her?”
“You know what she does.”
“All of Charlotte knows what she does,” he said dryly.
“I know, but…” She exhaled. “She’s talking to me more lately. Dropping hints. I thought I was imagining it, but now I’m not so sure.”
His gaze drifted over her face, slow, deliberate, like he was studying every line, every flicker of insecurity, every emotion she couldn’t hide.
“It’s not your imagination.”
Her heartbeat kicked up. “How do you know?” she asked, drawing the words out. “I mean—know for sure?”
“Because she’s been in my ear for over a year.”
Oh. So it wasn’t her Jolene had originally been pushing toward him.
Or maybe Jolene just couldn’t find the right match for Baker and Tasha was another dart tossed at a board, hoping something would stick.
Somehow, that was worse.
She’d been second before. Overlooked. The backup option. The one a man settled for until someone better came along. Or the sidepiece she never knew she was.
She refused to be any of that again.
For once, just once, she wanted to be chosen. Wanted a man who cared for her the way she cared for him.
Someone willing to put in the same effort and hope for the same reward. She deserved that.
“Never mind,” she said.
It had to have been all her imagination then.
What had he said—she’d thrown some wild things at him? No way she was adding to that list.
It was as if he read her hesitation now. Or her avoidance.
Didn’t matter what word you slapped on it, it was all the above.
“If you’re asking if Jolene is trying to pair us together, the answer is yes.”
Her jaw dropped. “I’ve only been there a little over a month. You said she’s been in your ear for a year.”
“Talking with nothing in sight. Feeling me out. Your name has come up recently.”
“By who?” This time he looked as if he didn’t want to say more. “Tell me. It was really hard for me to broach this and you obviously weren’t going to.”
“Gavin said it.”
“Whoa. He’d know.”
“Yes. He and I have an agreement of sorts. He’s advised me how to handle his wife.”
Which didn’t sound promising to her. “And how is that?”
“By not fighting her. Letting her think I’m considering it.”
She pursed her lips. “I’m even more confused. So that is why you’re here?”
“I’m here because you asked me to dinner.”
“Fair point. How about why you fixed my tire.”
“Because I’m not a dick who would turn my back on anyone who needed help,” he said.
Still not giving her what she wanted.
“Okay. How about why we had a few conversations and then you avoided me for a week? And by the way, I had no idea it was you until you just said it. Part of me kind of thought it after Ben and Mason were sending each other signals, but that was the first it even crossed my mind. We only talked for the first time that day.”
She wouldn’t admit she had looked at him several times before.
That his rugged looks, cocky stance and swagger, and quiet laugh got her juices flowing.
Nor the good things she’d heard about him not just from Mason and Jessica, even Hope, but other employees talking in general.
“Jolene is Jolene. She does her thing and no one knows why or how. I don’t ask. Maybe I’ve needed a few days to sit on it.”
Kind of like what she’d been doing. “So now what? You just heard my horrid dating past. I’m barely dipping my toe in and so far haven’t even gotten up to my ankle again. I don’t even know if I’ve got it in me to do it again.”
“Yeah, well, you’re not the only one who might be feeling that.”
“What’s going on with you?”
“You want to keep your baby daddy off the table, I’m going to keep my history off the table.”
If he wasn’t laughing when he said it, if she didn’t see the hurt in his eyes that she couldn’t pinpoint, then she’d take offense to his words.
But she couldn’t, because some of that hurt she still saw in the mirror.
She still felt every time she tried to date and it failed.
“I can agree to that.”
“What are you saying?” he asked.
She really was crazy. “I might as well add to your wild list of things. How about we try something I’ve never done before. A no commitments thing to both decide if we even want to see where this might go?”
“Friends with benefits?” he asked, his bottom lip coming out as if he was in thought.
“No,” she rushed out. “I don’t know. That isn’t what popped into my head.”
Liar.
“What did you mean?”
“My time is limited. I don’t want to bring anyone around my son right now.”
“Understandable.”
“I just really don’t know if I’ve got what it takes. Do I want to have a relationship in my life? I’d be lying if I didn’t say yes, but I also have to be honest and say I’m not sure I’ve got it in me to trust fully right now.”
“The same.”
She wished she knew more but couldn’t ask because then he’d do the same.
“How about I start dinner and we think about this some before we talk more?”
“I can do that.”
“Good, maybe I’m not as crazy as I thought.”
“Don’t be so sure of that,” he said, laughing. “It’s just you’re not alone this time.”
That didn’t sound promising in the least.