41. Mixed Messages
MIXED MESSAGES
“It took you long enough to reach out again,” Tasha said Friday afternoon after work.
Not a single word from Shane since he’d walked out of her attorney’s office three days earlier. No text. No call. No mention of wanting to meet Micah, as if her son were something to be evaluated before Shane decided whether to move forward.
As much as she’d wanted to reach out herself, Madeline had advised her to wait. To have Shane make the next move and let it be documented.
And now here they were again.
The same park as last week. Just not the same bench.
This time, she was alone.
No Baker nearby. No quiet presence watching her back.
And she hadn’t heard from Baker either. Not in a few days.
That was on her too. She knew it.
She’d started that conversation thinking it would be calm and reasonable. It hadn’t been. It had turned into the exact fight she’d been trying to avoid. And if she was honest, she couldn’t fully blame him.
She’d thought she was protecting him.
Instead, she’d pushed him away.
If her heart felt fractured all over again… that was also on her.
“I’ve had a lot to process and I’m working,” Shane snarled.
This wasn’t going to be a peaceful conversation either. She didn’t know why she thought otherwise.
“So what’s the next step?” she asked, trying to manage the situation as best as she could.
“Morgan wants to get back together and give it a try,” he said flatly.
She snorted, not surprised about that either. “Glad you could convince her of that.”
Her ex shot her a look that he didn’t appreciate her comment. She didn’t really care.
That he was returning to Atlanta could mean a few things. He’d rarely see Micah, or she’d have to give up her son for periods of time...at some point.
“She doesn’t know about this situation. I want to keep it that way.”
“That’s on you,” she said, shrugging. “Not sure how you plan on doing that.”
“If you want money, we can figure it out. I’ll have it taken right from my check and sent to you. She’ll never know or see it. I talked to my uncle. I’ve got a raise coming. Morgan doesn’t need to know that. It shouldn’t change her lifestyle any.”
“Sounds like you’ve got it all planned out to make your other life work,” she said sarcastically.
“I don’t know what you want from me, Tasha. This is a lot. I’ve made mistakes and I’ll own them, but I never thought I had a kid out there.”
“One you don’t want?” she asked.
He threw his hands up. “Not right now. I can’t. I’m not ready for it. Hell, I barely see my own kids and right now they hate me. Your son is just a stranger to me.”
She wouldn’t be hurt that he didn’t consider Micah his child either. It would only make it easier in her mind.
“That’s right, he’s mine. He always has been. I don’t like the way he was conceived. Not through the lies, but when it happened, I thought it was love. Or it felt like that. And that is what I choose to remember. I’m not letting him be less than he is because of what happened to us.”
Shane leaned back and crossed his arms. “You tell me what you want then,” he snapped. “Because I’m getting mixed messages.”
“How is that?”
“To me, you brought Micah into my life because you want money. Plain and simple. I saw an attorney, I know roughly what I’ll have to pay for the next eighteen years and I’ll do it.”
She snorted. “That’s it? It’s all you want, to just cover that?” She wasn’t even upset to hear this.
“Right now, it’s all I’m willing to do. If there is more in the future, we’ll see. But I can’t be bogged down by this. Your boyfriend threw a bunch of shit in my face and it actually made me open my eyes.”
Her hand came up. “Wait? What?”
“I didn’t catch his name. I didn’t ask for it, but I remembered seeing him on the bench next to us last week.
I saw him move over to hold you when I walked away.
He showed up on Tuesday night at my place and told me to decide.
Be all in or get the hell out. Seems to me he wants to be Micah’s dad. Is that true?”
Her mind was reeling right now.
How dare Baker involve himself in this when she was trying to keep him out of it? When she didn’t want him to have anything else on his plate.
“That’s all he said?” she asked.
Shane smirked, as if he had the hammer of knowledge and she was the nail he was going to decide when and how hard to hit. “What, you didn’t know he did that?”
There was no reason to lie. She wasn’t sure she’d believe anything he told her anyway.
“No. I didn’t. My guess is he was standing up for us. For Micah. He loves my son.”
“That is how it came across. But it got me thinking that I don’t want any part of this.
So I had to decide and I did. I called Morgan and told her I missed her and tried to see if we could work it out.
She wants to give it another try, so that means this situation with Micah has to go away.
At least for now. But you’ve never once said what you were after. ”
She had to push aside that Baker went behind her back on this.
The anger was there, but maybe what he did nudged this along more.
“What I wanted out of this was not to hold on to the secret any longer. Whether you stay or go, people are going to ask about Micah’s father and have for years.
I’ve never answered. I told you to get it off my chest. It’s legally documented for my son to decide what to do with that information when he’s older.
If you want out, if you want no part of his life, then we’ll draw it up legally.
I’m not going to make you support a child you don’t want. That was never what this was about.”
“Draw up the papers,” Shane said without hesitation. “He’s yours and I can move on with my life.”
The tears flooded her eyes. Not in frustration or annoyance that Shane was casting their child away, but in relief that he was out of her life for good.
Or at least for now.
She stood. “Then we’re done here. I’ll contact my attorney to get working on them and let you know.”
Shane’s eyes moved over her body again. “We were good together, but sex was all it was.”
She laughed. “I know that now. Your wife is welcome to you. Men like you, you don’t change. You just get sneakier and more sly. I don’t need or want that in my life nor around my child.”
“You wanted plenty of it for two months,” he shot back. “You know it so don’t lie to yourself.”
She turned and walked away.
What she wanted was to be loved. Was to be put first.
To be cared for.
All those things Baker did, even when she gave him a reason not to.
There was no way she was throwing it away now.