4. Vera
4
Vera
I’m smothered by warmth but somehow still feel chilly, like I don’t have enough energy to keep myself warm. I snuggle deeper into the nest, to go back to sleep, when all the weight and heat disappears, the cool air making me shiver and wrap my arms around myself tightly.
The difference in temperature wakes me up more, making me notice the worried pheromones from my pack, making me remember that I went to sleep in the bed last night, not the nest…
What happened?
Why am I in the nest?
Why is everyone so worried?
I try to clear the sleepy drowsiness from my mind, but it only fades away slowly.
“My sweet Omega.” Mathew touches my cheek, his fingers warm against my cold skin, his voice filled with concern. When I look up at him in the dim light, there’s a deep wrinkle between his eyebrows.
I reach up, touching it. “Why are you frowning like that?” As I look around, I notice that the others are also staring at me with worry in their eyes.
Oh, that can’t be good.
“What happened?” I meet Caleb’s gaze, hoping he’s got an answer.
“You woke up in the middle of the night and decided to go to the shooting range in your night dress. You wanted to train so you could protect Mathew at any cost.”
“Oh, fuck. That was real? I’m sorry.” It’s been years since this last happened.
Not knowing if what you’re experiencing is a nightmare or if you’re awake is really scary. I often dream of the places I live in or where I’ve lived in the past, so I don’t have a good way to differentiate between dreams and reality when something like this happens.
It wasn’t the first time I went to the shooting range in my dreams, to try to get rid of my fears, to hopefully feel safer, that has happened a couple of times now. But it was the first time Jorge was there, trying to convince me everyone was okay —which I of course didn’t believe, these episodes are caused by anxiety and anxiety isn’t rational— and it was the first time Caleb came to get me.
“I’m really sorry.” My chest tightens when more memories return and I realise how I must have scared everyone. “I’m really, really sorry.”
Mathew pulls me into his lap, wrapping his arms around me, as the others come closer, touching me, trying to soothe me.
“Don’t apologise. We had no idea you were so scared. We should have noticed it sooner.” Mathew’s voice is low and I look up at him, meeting his gaze, his dark eyes filled with worry.
“I can’t lose you.” My voice hitches as my chest hurts again. “I can’t lose you.” The thought of losing him makes my stomach churn, makes everything hurt.
The image of when Jorge was in a frenzy and trying to protect Mathew but also not recognising Mathew as his mate keeps haunting me. It keeps scaring me in ways I didn’t know I could feel fear.
With Caleb, it was mostly miscommunication between Mathew and Caleb and I could solve it pretty quickly, but last night could have ended very differently if I hadn’t noticed it the moment I did…
We can’t let it happen again.
What if I’m not there to help next time?
“You won’t.” He softly kisses my hair. “You won’t lose me. I promise.”
“You can’t promise that. I won’t always be by your side…” I push my face into his chest, trying to get some of his pheromones, my heart racing.
He doesn’t understand, he doesn’t understand how scary it was to watch him protect himself against an attacker but also aware that he might have to protect himself against one of his own mates.
Nobody should be scared of their mates, especially not a bonded Omega… Especially-especially not when their mate is trying to protect them and doesn’t want to harm them either.
It’s all wrong. It’s all so wrong.
Caleb releases calming pheromones as the pillows of the nest dip and he makes himself comfortable against my side, so I’m tucked between Mathew and him. “We’ll sit down and figure something out tomorrow. But I don’t think worrying about it tonight is going to help. We’re all exhausted and nobody is thinking very clearly.”
He touches my shoulder and then his lips are on the top of my head as he takes long breaths, his calming pheromones intensifying, slowing my heart down. “Let’s try to go to sleep first. Once we’ve all had enough sleep and our heads are clearer, we’ll figure things out.”
I wish I could see things as simply as he can. I wish I could calm down and turn my brain off like that.
“Let’s all sleep in here.” Jorge pulls Riley further into the nest, though her pheromones betray that she’s not so sure of it.
“I think I should maybe sleep in a guest room, or something.” Riley looks at the four of us, her eyes guarded. “That might be a better idea. I’m not bonded yet…”
I let out a soft laugh as I reach out to her. “That would require there being a guest room.” And I have no plan to let her go, definitely not tonight, definitely not while my brain is still a mess.
Bonded or not, she’s my Alpha and I need her.
“There are no guest rooms in this place?” She frowns as she sits down and slides her fingers along mine, my skin heating up wherever she touches me, then she glances at Mathew. “That makes no sense.”
Mathew laughs, making himself comfortable against my side, the tension leaving his body. “The rooms are there. But there’s nothing but dust in them.”
That seems to confuse her. “Then where did Jorge sleep when he stayed over?”
When Mathew doesn’t do anything but look at her, smiling, she blinks, her pheromones spiking slightly as her cheeks pinken.
“ Ah. And where did Vera and Caleb stay their first night?” Her voice is softer now.
When nobody answers her, she nods slowly, her pheromones going sweet as they fill with yearning.
“Oh, right. That makes sense.”
Mathew moves so he can slide his hand along my arm until he entwines his fingers with mine and Riley’s at the same time. “If you’re not comfortable sleeping with all of us together, we can prepare an extra room for you. I’ve been alone for so long that it didn’t make sense to keep the other rooms furnished if they were only going to gather dust and lead to more work keeping the house clean. But we can totally prepare one for you.”
She nods slowly as she eases into the pillows, not letting go of our hands. “Thanks. I might take you up on that. I don’t know. I’m not…” Her voice wanders off.
“You don’t have to decide right now.” Mathew rubs his thumb over her hand and Riley seems to start to relax. “We’ve got all the time in the world.”
Jorge lets out a deep laugh. “We’ll probably want to prepare some rooms anyway, in case people would like to stay over. And also, we’ll have to choose which rooms will be for the kids.”
Everyone goes quiet, though the nest fills with excited and nervous pheromones.
The kids, right…
We still don’t know if Mathew and I are pregnant yet, we’ve got a week or so to go before we can test for it.
I try not to think about it too much, because every time I do, I get really nervous. There are so many things to worry about if it turns out that we are pregnant, from how we’re going to make it all work, to how we’ll be dealing with things once the babies are here.
We’re not just any pack, Mathew runs a whole organisation and both Jorge and Riley also have their own businesses. We’ll have to find a way to balance it all.
And it also means there will be even more people to protect, more people to keep safe…
I’m going to have to deal with my need to keep them all safe sooner rather than later, I think.
When I wake up, I feel much better, though, in some ways also worse. Mostly because I can clearly feel all the bruises and sore muscles from last evening’s fight. Ugh. I hate this so much.
I’ve only got some shallow cuts and scrapes, so I got out of the fight pretty much unscathed, but the bruises are always way more painful the next morning.
“Sore?” Riley chuckles and as I open my eyes, I notice she’s looking at me from the same place she fell asleep last night. The shirt she’s wearing is pooled around her waist, revealing her strong thighs and beautifully long legs. The rest of the nest is empty.
The guys have probably started working already. It’s not unusual for me to wake up on my own in the morning.
“Yeah.” I smile, reaching up to touch her hair. I’d love to run my fingers through it more, it looks so pretty and soft. Maybe she’ll let me braid it later. “What about you?”
“A little, but I’ve felt much worse after an eventful night. This isn’t the worst I’ve woken up, not even this year.” She slides closer and her pheromones surround me, making mine spike in response. Fuck, she smells so good. I want to crawl all up against her and make her dark rose scent spike even more.
“An ‘eventful’ night? That’s what you call that?” I can’t help my smile and she smiles back at me, making my heart skip. A flush comes over my skin and I quickly look away.
I’ve got other things to worry about, not how I can best make my new Alpha moan my name as loudly as possible.
“I’ve been through worse. Last night was ‘eventful’ but otherwise not too bad.” She leans closer, her eyes heating up. “Though, I would have preferred a different type of ‘event’, one a lot less deadly.”
I grin. “One that’s more ‘productive’ than ‘destructive’?” I sit up, enjoying the way her eyes shoot to my tits as my night dress accidentally gets pulled down and one of them slips out.
Whoops. Not what I had planned to do, but with the way her pheromones fill with lust and how she licks her lips, I’m not complaining. My head is starting to go fuzzy, my pheromones slipping out more and more, the flush on my skin deepening.
I could definitely wake up like this every morning, being touched by such an attractive woman, who’s clearly interested in me too.
“Yes.” Her voice is hoarse as she reaches out, flicking at my exposed nipple, making me gasp out. “I’d rather have a ‘productive’ night.” She slides her finger around my nipple and then tugs on it. “Fuck, you’ve got great tits.” Electricity shoots through me, lust pooling between my legs.
Emboldened by her actions and words, I reach out, tugging on one of her nipples through the shirt, pulling a soft moan from her. “Right back at you. That dress you wore last night should have been illegal. I had a hard time looking anywhere else all night.”
She wraps an arm around me and pulls me on top of her as she lets herself fall back into the pillows, our bodies pressed together, her nipples hard against mine. “I know. I could smell you all evening, just like I can now.” She slides a hand up my leg, resting it on my bare thigh. “It was pretty hard to focus with you next to me.”
“Sorry for being so distracting.” I lean closer to her. I want to kiss her. I want to kiss her so much.
She eyes my lips, licking hers and then she slides one of her hands into the back of my hair, crushing our lips together.
Fuck. She feels so good.
Her lips are soft and warm and she keeps teasing me with the way she slides her tongue along mine.
I start perfuming, not able to control my pheromones, as she deepens the kiss, the hand on my thigh moving to my ass as she slips her leg between mine, letting me rub up against her.
So good. So, so good!
I’m aware that there are other things we need to do, but I don’t want to leave her side. I want to stay right here, in my Alpha’s arms.
Just for a few more hours. The world can wait for a few more hours, right?