13. Chapter 13
Chapter 13
Sheila
I don’t know how long we have been sitting in that fucking room. It feels like an eternity, but dawn is only just breaking when we’re called by a nurse. The parents of two other children were called before us but didn’t return so we don’t know what happened. I wonder if any of them were the parents of the girl who didn’t make it.
“Mr and Mrs Whelan,” the doctor addresses Josh and me.
“No, this is Gregory’s father,” I pull Nicholas closer to us. Josh never lets go of me and I’m grateful for that. I don’t think I could have made it through the night without his strength.
“Sorry.” The doctor looks a bit sheepish and gives Josh a curious look. “My name is Dr Khan and I’ve been working on your son. Gregory was one of the more severe cases in the group but we managed to stabilise him. We are currently waiting for him to regain consciousness, but we hope that he will be okay and there won’t be any long-term damage. ”
The relief I feel at his words hits me like a wave. All the tension in my body seems to evaporate and more tears trickle down my face. Josh squeezes me and presses a soft kiss to my forehead.
“Can we see him?” Nicholas asks.
“We’re going to move him to the AMU and then you can. A nurse will take you there.”
“What’s the AMU?” I stop the doctor from leaving.
“Acute Medical Unit. They will continue to monitor him and work with the toxicology department to assess if he needs further antidote.” He nods and leaves us.
“Let me call Peter and tell them Gee will be okay.” Nico wipes a tear from his face.
“Wait.” Josh lets go of me as I step up to Nicholas to give him a hug. There’s nothing I can say, I just felt like we both needed a hug. Our son is going to be okay.
“Right, let me call Peter,” Nicholas finally pulls away and walks down the corridor for some privacy.
“How are you?” Josh asks tentatively.
“Relieved. Worried. Sad. And would it be wrong to say I’m also a bit angry?”
“No.” He pulls me back into his embrace and the minute his warmth surrounds me I feel safe.
“I’m sorry if me being in your life has caused this.” His voice is neutral but his whole body is tense.
“Josh, this is not your fault. He was hanging out with those kids before you and I found each other,” I sigh.
Josh doesn’t say anything for a minute. “I’ll do anything you need me to do. We can go back to keeping it a secret, we can take it slow with me spending time with the boys; I’m open to everything, but I can’t let you walk away. If that makes me a selfish arsehole then so be it but please don’t ask me to let you go.” The last few words are just a whisper. I take a step back and study him. His face is strained and there’s fear in his eyes again.
“Josh…” I cup his face. “I’m not walking away. And if it is anyone’s fault it’s mine.”
“No, it isn’t,” Nicholas slides his phone into his back pocket as he steps up to us. “Don’t blame yourself. We tried everything we could. This was just a group of teenagers testing boundaries, and it went catastrophically wrong. Gregory is nearly sixteen; he’s old enough to understand right and wrong. You’ve always put your life second and given our boys everything you can. This is not on you. He was difficult even before you and Josh fell for each other. This did not happen because you found some happiness. Do you hear me?”
I nod and a lone tear runs over my cheek. Josh can’t help himself and wipes it away with his thumb. The gentle touch breaks my resolve and I curl back up in his arms.
“I need you to say it Sheila, tell me that you understand this is not your fault,” Nicholas pushes.
“I know,” I sniffle.
“It’s also time for Peter and I to step up. We need to discuss details and plans but Peter and I will move to Fellside so we can be around more and help out.” Nicholas looks completely defeated.
“Nico, it’s not your fault either.”
“I know; still, soon the boys will be off to university and start their own life journeys. I want to be around for these last few years at least,” he shrugs.
“The boys will lov—”
“Mr and Ms Whelan, Gregory has woken up.” A nurse approaches us with a big grin on her face .
“Can we see him?” Nicholas is the first to find his voice.
“Yes, I’ll take you to him,” she waves for us to follow her. Josh lets go of me.
“I’ll wait here,” he mumbles.
“Josh, please. I need you.” I hold out my hand to him. I want him to be a part of this and of our family.
When we enter the room Gregory is looking around, disoriented. There are two other beds in the room, separated from Gregory’s bed by curtains.
“Mum,” he whispers and his weak voice brings tears to my eyes again. It makes me realise how close we came to losing him.
“Hey, Gee,” I say softly and stroke his hair. Nicholas takes Gregory’s hand from the other side of the bed.
“I’m sorry.” The fear in Gregory’s voice is apparent. I’d like to ask him what he was thinking, but now is not the time. We can have that conversation when he’s better.
“I’m just glad you are okay,” I reply. “We all are.”
“Yes, we are,” Nicholas sobs and presses a gentle kiss to Greogry’s forehead. Gregory looks shell-shocked. Kids forget that we worry because we love them and want them safe.
“How did I get here?” he asks, embarrassed, and glances at Josh. Nico tells him about the search and the helicopter rescue. He leaves out the detail of the girl who died. That’s another conversation we can have once we are all over the worst of this initial shock .
“Thanks,” Gregory addresses Josh who just nods.
“Is there anything you need, honey?” You never feel more helpless as a parent then when your child is hurt and you can’t make it better.
“I’m quite thirsty.”
“I’ll get some water.” Josh gently slides his hand over my back before leaving us to it.
“I know you’re happy I’m okay but I’m still in trouble, aren’t I?” Gregory asks sheepishly.
“We definitely need to talk … when you’re better. But the most important thing for us is that you’re okay.” Nico replies and presses another kiss to his forehead. Indeed, this will be a tough conversation to have, and as parents, all we can hope for is that he learns from this. But we'll never have any guarantees, and that thought terrifies me.
Josh
I bang the vending machine to shift the bottle of water that’s got stuck. It drops down with a thud and I retrieve it from the tray. I walk back into Gee’s room with three coffees in one hand and the bottle of water in the other and find him alone.
“The doctor needed to talk to them,” he answers my unspoken question. “They should be back soon. ”
“I got you some water and some crackers.” I place the tray with the coffees on the bedside table and pull the crackers from my jacket pocket.
“Thanks,” he says and takes the bottle with hands that are shaking slightly, presumably from the pills which are still wearing off. “Are you going to give me a lecture?” His voice isn’t hostile, more careful.
“No.” I shake my head. “Why would I do that?”
“Isn’t that what men do when they date a single mum? They want to play father to show that they can be the head of the family. I have a dad.” He looks me straight in the eye and I appreciate that he’s not shying away from the discussion.
“And he’s a great dad, but he’s not your mum’s husband. He can be one thing without the other. That's okay.”
“How would you know?” He takes another sip from his water.
“Because my parents are divorced. My dad found an amazing new wife. My mum’s also remarried.” I leave it at that.
“And how is the new dad?” he grins at me smugly.
“He’s not my dad. I have a dad. My mother's husband is not a great man.”
“Why?”
“Because I think it should be his job to make sure my mum is happy in life and he doesn't do that.”
“Is that what you try to do for my mum?”
“Making sure your mum, you, and your brother are safe and happy is my number one priority.”
“Like you said, we have a dad who does that; besides, you don’t know us. ”
“I know. But I want to be there when he can't. As a friend. Not as a new dad. “
“You want to be my friend.” He snorts.
“I'd like to be.”
I don’t get a reply. Instead, he leans back in his bed and stares at the ceiling.
“Can I ask you something?”
He shrugs. The coffee is bitter in my mouth as I empty my cup.
“Why did you do it? You’re a clever guy, you must know the risk.”
“It was just meant to be some fun. Everyone does E. All these horror stories are just adults trying to scare us off so they can control us.” He doesn’t sound quite as confident about it as he tries to appear.
“You still think so?” My question hangs in the air for a while before he sits back up and studies me.
“We're you never tempted when you were young?”
“Maybe, but I was determined to become a firefighter like my dad so I was on a health kick most of the time. I got my high from climbing.”
“You climb?” His whole face changes.
“Hey, I’m born and bred in the Lake District. The hills are in my blood,” I wink. “I climb with a few of the FMR guys and some of my mates from the fire station.”
“Would you ever take me with you?” He looks genuinely excited.
“If your mum is okay with it. Don’t they have a climbing club at Fellside High anymore?” That’s how I got into climbing. We had a crazy PE teacher who set up a club for all those who wanted to learn and he taught me everything I know. When he died on an exhibition in the Himalayas we were shocked, but named the club after him and promised to keep climbing.
“Nah, our PE teacher is only interested in cricket,” Gregory rolls his eyes and laughs when I grimace. Football, rugby, I can watch it all, but cricket is really not my thing.
“Well, you ask your mum and if she says yes I’ll take you and Kieran out.”
“Ask me what?” Sheila’s eyes are red as she steps closer.
“When can I go home, Mum?” He’s realised now isn’t the time to ask about climbing.
“They want to keep you here overnight,” Nicholas answers, still looking worried. He starts to talk to Gregory about something unrelated, giving me a chance to pull Sheila to the side.
“What’s wrong?” I ask in a low voice. Her eyes dart to her son, but he’s not paying us any attention.
“They need to do follow up checks on his liver to make sure there’s no long-term damage—”
“He’s going to be alright,” I whisper desperately. I need it to be true, for her, for me, for the whole family.
“Josh, thank you for being here.”
“Hey, I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.” I place a chaste kiss on her lips.
“Josh, my dad’s boyfriend is cooking a big dinner tomorrow night, can you come?” Gregory interrupts us. I guess he’s trying to tell me that I have his approval.
“Love to!” I grin at him.
I’m not deluding myself that we are going to be a picture-perfect family from now on. There will be plenty of slammed doors and arguments, but I’m sure between Sheila, Nico, Peter, and I, we somehow will wrangle these crazy hormones of our boys. This is a fierce family , and I want to be part of it.