Chapter 9
CHAPTER 9
SOFIA
I woke to the smell of coffee and the sound of someone puttering around in my kitchen. For a disorienting moment, I thought it might be Grayson for some bizarre reason, and my heart leapt before reality crashed back. Meredith. She'd stayed over after our impromptu girls night with dinner and ice-cream, refusing to leave me alone.
I'd managed to avoid telling her the truth, but she knew me well enough to see I was struggling. So she'd stayed, keeping me company through a night of mindless TV and too much wine, before we both crashed in my king-sized bed like we used to do in college.
"Morning, sunshine," Meredith called when I shuffled into the kitchen. "Coffee's ready."
"You're an angel," I mumbled, accepting the mug she handed me. "You didn't have to stay over."
She waved away my words. "Please. Leo's buried in meetings all day anyway. Besides, you've been there for me through everything." Her green eyes, so like her brother's, studied my face. Of course I was thinking of Grayson right now. Like I didn't have enough on my plate.
I'd told him we couldn't be anything more than friends because I wanted to stay out of that world. How cruel life was.
"You sure you don't want to talk about what's bothering you?"
I took a long sip of coffee, buying time. "Just work stress."
"Sof, you're hiding something. Please, you can trust me." She picked up her own coffee as she leaned on the kitchen island. Her brows were knitted together, and I drew in a deep breath.
I could share something, a reason that would hopefully be enough.
"My cousin Marco died. I found out not too long ago," I murmured over the rim of my mug. I wasn't going to say it was the day after her wedding. She'd be annoyed I'd not told her sooner, that I'd let her go off on her honeymoon and not shared my distress.
"Oh Sof, I had no idea. I'm so sorry." She set her coffee down and stepped over to wrap me in a tight hug. "I know you were close."
"We were, but the family had enemies." I held her tight, fighting the sting of tears in my eyes, refusing to let them fall.
"Wait… he was…" Meredith pulled back, unwilling to say the word, and I nodded.
"Jesus, I'm so sorry, Sof. Is it being investigated?" she asked quickly, still holding my arms comfortingly.
"It's been handled by the family."
"Right. Fuck, that's messed up. I'm sorry." Her eyes were full of sympathy, of her need to look out for me, just as I'd done for her.
"Thanks. It is what it is though. I need to get ready for my shift. Keeping busy is what I need right now."
"Right, of course. Want me to swing by after you're done? We could grab dinner. I could get more wine?" She was quick to offer her comfort, and I couldn't help but hug her again with a smile.
"Thanks Mer, but I might work late," I said with a heavy sigh. "Rain check?"
She didn't look convinced as I pulled back, but she nodded anyway. "Call me if you need anything. Anything at all. I'll be here right away."
"Of course." I bobbed my head, and we had our coffee and toast in silence before I headed upstairs to get ready. Meredith was calling her driver to let him know she was heading out shortly, and she'd be gone by the time I was ready to leave. She rotated between two body guards, Roman and a younger man, Jackson. Both incredibly loyal to the Donati family.
She was as safe as she could be.
I got ready for work on autopilot. The routine was comforting—shower, scrubs, sandwich in a bag, hair pulled back in a practical bun. Normal things. Safe things. For a few hours, I could pretend my world wasn't imploding.
The ER was busy when I arrived, which was exactly what I needed. No time to think about uncles and arranged marriages when there were patients to triage. I threw myself into the work, moving from room to room with practiced efficiency.
"Sofia, I need you in Trauma 2," Dr. Patel called out as I finished documenting vitals for an elderly man with pneumonia.
I hurried to the trauma bay where paramedics were transferring a young woman from a stretcher. Blood soaked through her clothes, and her face was pale with shock.
"Twenty-eight-year-old female, thirty-two weeks pregnant, involved in a car accident," the paramedic reported. "BP 90/60, pulse 120, baby's heartbeat was detectable but faint at the scene."
My stomach clenched as I moved to the patient's side. "Hi, I'm Sofia, I'm going to be your nurse. Can you tell me your name?"
"Rose," she whispered, her hands clutching her swollen belly. "Please, my baby?—"
"We're going to take care of both of you," I promised, attaching monitors while Dr. Patel examined her. The fetal monitor picked up the baby's heartbeat—faster than normal, but strong.
Rose. The name struck deep within me. Was that the nickname Marco used for his daughter, Rosette?
What was she like? Did she look more like him, or like Cara?
"I need an ultrasound, now," Dr. Patel ordered, and I rushed to retrieve the portable machine, switching off all thoughts unrelated to work.
As we worked to stabilize Rose, I found myself far too aware of her pregnant belly, of the life inside her that we were fighting to save. An innocent child, one who didn't ask to be a part of this accident.
"Placental abruption," Dr. Patel confirmed after the ultrasound. "Call OB and tell them we're coming up for an emergency C-section."
I helped transfer Rose to a gurney, squeezing her hand as tears streamed down her face. "My husband," she gasped. "He doesn't know?—"
"We'll find him," I assured her. "Focus on staying calm for your baby."
After we sent Rose upstairs, I leaned against the wall, the room suddenly spinning. I'd eaten, so it wasn't a lack of food. It had to be the stress of everything. The image of Rose's pregnant belly, the terror in her eyes, the desperation to protect her child—it all hit too close to home in a way. To protect an innocent life.
I glanced around, another thought niggling at the back of my mind.
When had my period last come? I'd been so stressed with everything happening, I hadn't even noticed it was late. How late? I counted back in my head and felt my stomach drop. Almost a week overdue. Nothing too extreme, but enough for me to worry.
No. It couldn't be. We'd used protection that night with Grayson. Hadn't we? The details were fuzzy—we'd both been drinking, caught up in the moment. But surely we'd been careful.
But the morning in the shower…
"Fuck," I muttered, scolding myself. I'd forgotten to take the morning after pill. Hearing about Marco had shattered the entire day for me, and it had slipped my mind. I’d not even thought of it again until now.
"Sofia? You okay?" Dr. Patel's voice broke through the uneasiness settling over me.
I straightened, forcing a smile. "Fine. Just a little light-headed."
"Take five if you need it. You look pale."
I nodded and escaped to the break room, collapsing into a chair. It was just stress. My period was always irregular when I was stressed. This wasn't the first time it had been late. That was all it was, it had to be.
But the seed of doubt had been planted, and I couldn't shake it. Throughout my shift, between patients and charting, my mind kept circling back to the possibility. A pregnancy was not something I could handle right now, and it was a surefire way to turn this shit-show into a shitfest.
By the time my lunch break came, I couldn't stand the uncertainty anymore.
I knew it was too soon for a urine test to be certain, so I gathered supplies and slipped into an empty room, drawing some blood and then running it down to the labs.
Joanne greeted me there, and was more than happy to put it through as a rush test after she questioned who it was for and I'd told her it was a personal favor. She owed me for the time I'd helped save her ass with a mix-up that could've gotten her into a lot of trouble.
Three hours had passed, with only a few hours to go before I finished, when Joanne texted. I was already seated and charting, thankfully, otherwise I would've sunk to the floor at the result.
Pregnant. I was pregnant with Grayson's child.
The irony wasn't lost on me. After years of careful planning, of building a life away from my family's violence, of swearing I'd never bring a child into that world—here I was. Pregnant at the worst possible moment, with a man connected to a a family my own would wage war against if given the chance, while my uncle was trying to marry me off to another to cement an alliance.
A hysterical laugh bubbled up in my throat, but I swallowed it down. I couldn't lose it. Not here. Not now. I was still on shift, and there were people around me.
I stared at the message, processing it, the weight of it all crushing down on me.
I was pregnant. This was insane.
There was a life growing inside me. A tiny collection of cells that would become a person. Half me, half Grayson.
Grayson. What would he say? Would he even want to know? We'd agreed to no strings attached, and this was the mother of all strings.
No. He didn't need to know. I couldn't keep it, not with this mess that was my life now. Birthing a child from him if I got married to Juan? Yeah, I'd be in the ground as soon as I started to show.
I touched my stomach, Rose's terrified eyes flashing in my mind as my stomach knotted.
Why was the thought of aborting distressing me so much? I'd never thought I'd have kids. Never allowed myself to have the hope I could after I left my family.
But having a little version of me, someone who was true family, who I'd do my best to protect from the world…
I closed my eyes, sucking in a breath. Of course this was happening.
I made it through the rest of my shift in a daze, going through the motions while my mind swam. Options. I needed to consider my options.
Abortion was the most logical choice. Clean, simple, no one would ever know. I could deal with Ernesto's marriage demands separately, find some way out of that mess without the addition of a pregnancy.
But every time I thought it, something inside me recoiled. I wasn't against abortion, but for me, right now... The image of my mother floated into my mind. Her gentle hands, her soft voice, the way she'd tried to shield me from the worst of my father's world.
She'd loved me fiercely, even knowing what family I was born into. Even though I was not the child she would have wanted, not to my father. She'd not been loved by him, just a trophy, but she'd loved me anyway.
I'd been her light as she'd always said, even after my father had started to mold me, to make me dish out his punishments.
Could this child be my light in a suddenly bleak world? Would they even survive if I kept them?
By the time my shift ended, I was exhausted, my mind and emotions raw. I walked to my car in a fog, fumbling with my keys as I reached the driver's side.
Once inside, I gripped the steering wheel until my knuckles turned white, sucking in deep, shuddering breaths. This couldn't be happening. Not now. Not like this. Why right now?
I'd never planned on having children, never had any hope of it. Not with the blood that ran through my veins, the violence I'd seen, the darkness I'd been part of. What kind of mother could I possibly be? What kind of life could I offer a child?
And Grayson—God, Grayson. The man I'd spent one night with and couldn't stop thinking about, especially since the marriage demand. He had been swimming in my mind, the what ifs floating in the chaos.
A sharp knock on my window made me jump so violently I hit my knee on the steering wheel. When I turned to look, my blood froze in my veins.
Uncle Ernesto stood outside my car, his familiar face creased in a smile that didn't reach his eyes. He'd gone fully bald since I'd last seen him, and his salt and pepper stubble gave away his years. But he still looked in shape, still looked like he could serve out punishment.
Still looked like he could hurt me.
He gestured for me to roll down the window.
With mechanical movements, I pressed the button, lowering the glass just enough to hear him.
"Sofia, cara mia," he said, his accent more pronounced for some reason right now. "I thought we should talk in person. You need to understand how important this is."
I swallowed hard, compartmentalizing like I'd learned to do as a teenager. Lock away the fear, the anger, the shock of the pregnancy test. Focus only on the threat in front of me.
"Get out of the car," he said, not unkindly, but my stomach still churned. "Let me look at my niece properly after all these years."
I stepped out, keeping my movements fluid and controlled despite the turmoil inside. Ernesto immediately embraced me, kissing each of my cheeks in the traditional greeting.
"It is good to see you again," he said, holding me at arm's length to study my face. "You look so much like your mother."
"Thanks." I nodded. Being compared to my mother was usually a compliment, but from him, it felt like a threat.
"You've built a nice life here," he continued, gesturing vaguely at the hospital behind us. "Away from the family business. I respect that, Sofia. But now we need you."
I crossed my arms over my chest, acutely aware of what was happening inside my body. A new life was forming in my belly even as we spoke. An innocent one that didn't deserve to be a part of this mess.
The timing couldn't be worse.
"Juan Ference has seen your photos," Ernesto said, his voice dropping to a confidential tone. "He will happily forge an alliance if you take him as your husband. You've had time to process this, and it's a reality now. This is your duty, your sacrifice for the family."
He placed a hand on my shoulder, squeezing slightly. "It's for the good of everyone involved. Your father would be proud."
My father. The man who'd taught me to how to gut a man at fifteen, moving from the traditional shooting. Who'd made me watch as he tortured a man who'd betrayed him. Who'd eventually forced me to torture as well.
I glanced around the parking lot, my heart skipping when I spotted a black SUV idling nearby. The back window was rolled down just enough for me to see a man's face—Juan Ference, I assumed. He nodded at me, his expression unreadable.
I turned back to Ernesto, careful to keep my face neutral despite the panic clawing at my throat. Had Juan come to see who I really was? Or was this a show of force, a reminder that they could get to me anytime, anywhere?
"Okay," I said, the word falling from my lips like a stone. I needed time, time to figure all of this out. To not have my uncle right here, and the man who wanted to claim me as his own in a car only yards away.
Ernesto's face broke into a wide grin. "Wonderful!" He hugged me again, tighter this time. "Cheer up, Sofia. This is a good thing. A wonderful thing for the family."
I nodded mechanically, forcing myself to keep everything together, to play my part for a moment.
"Drive safe home," he said, patting my cheek. "I'll be in touch about the engagement announcement."
I nodded and got back in my car, my movements slow and deliberate. Ernesto waved as I started the engine, then walked back to the SUV where Juan waited.
I drove away, hands steady on the wheel despite the earthquake happening inside me. My mind whirled with chaos, with traps and dead ends, while my emotions collided. Pregnant with Grayson's child. Promised to Juan Ference. Pulled back into a world I'd fought so hard to escape.
It wasn't until I pulled up in front of my house that the control I'd clawed together finally shattered. I doubled over the steering wheel, sobs tearing from my throat. Everything I'd built and claimed, my home, my freedom—it was all falling apart, the darkness wrapping its unforgiving hands around my throat.
My phone rang, the sound jarring in the quiet car. I glanced at the screen through tear-blurred eyes and my stomach dropped.
Grayson.
His name flashed on my phone, a reminder of everything I stood to lose. A child growing within me. Meredith. My life here.
Of course he was calling right now, like he sensed the truth of what I'd discovered.
I let it ring, watching until the call went to voicemail. What could I possibly say to him? That I was carrying his child? That my uncle was marrying me off to a rival family? That we'd messed up?
"God, what do I do?" I gasped out through the sobs.
But no answer came, only the silence as Gray's call stopped. Maybe that was the answer. To destroy the life growing within me, to cut my ties with him and Meredith, to return to my family and protect everyone.
To play my part like a good Savoca woman.
I sobbed as I pressed my forehead to the steering wheel hard. Why was life so cruel? Dumping all of this on me at once?
"You're strong, Sofia. Stronger than me. I wish you would come with me, but I know you can survive, you can live. As much as the Savoca hurt me, you have their name, their strength, but you're also my daughter. Capable of so much more."
My mother's words before she'd fled back to Italy rung in my mind.
I didn't feel strong right now. Not at all. But she'd believed in me. I had to cling to that in this moment.
My phone pinged, a message from Meredith lighting up the screen.
My only other family.
I needed to tell someone. I couldn't carry this alone—the pregnancy, the forced marriage, all of it. There was only one person I wanted to tell, one who could possibly understand the tangled web I was caught in.
It was time I stopped shielding her and looked to her for the support I so desperately needed right now.
Because I couldn't do this on my own, no matter how badly I wished I could.