Chapter 5
CHAPTER FIVE
Gunner
I fucked up.
I got too close.
But fuck, I couldn’t ignore the feelings in that moment. The desire outweighed it all.
Since our almost kiss, I kept out of her way for the rest of the night. But that didn’t mean I didn’t sneak glances at her all night. Or watch how friendly she was, how good she was with the customers, how she didn’t have to write orders on a pad of paper and memorized them instead.
As the night wore on, the customers slowly left along with a couple of servers and a bartender, leaving only Raemina, me, and Jack, another bartender.
After Jack served the final customer, I told him I’d close the bar down, something Grizz showed me last week.
Was it a good idea for Raemina and me to be alone? Probably not. But it was happening anyway.
The last customer left, and I locked the door. Raemina wiped down tables while I wiped down the bar and restocked for the next day.
“Is everyone gone?” She asked as she walked over to the bar and hopped onto a bar stool.
“Yep. Once you finish, you can take off. I’ll finish up.”
“I’m not leaving you to do it all by yourself.”
I shot her a kind smile. “Thank you. But I can handle it.”
“I’m sure you can. But it’s not fair. Usually three people tackle closing.”
“Okay, suit yourself.” I grabbed the remote off the bar and flicked the music to something more upbeat. “Tunes always help to clean. At least that’s what my mama always told me.”
Raemina’s face softened. “Music is great, isn’t it? We were a musical family, too. My father played the drums, which led to my brother wanting to learn, and my sister learned the piano. I never had a knack for playing a musical instrument.”
“That’s awesome. I’ve always wanted to learn the drums.”
“It’s loud.”
I laughed. “Is that all you got?”
“Believe me, that’s enough. Between my father and my brother, I’m surprised my eardrums aren’t shot.”
The mood lightened between us, and we both worked hard on closing while dancing to music. Her swaying hips and moving body almost caused a hard on in my pants like a middle schooler and at one point, I went to the bathroom and splashed cold water on my face.
When we finished, I shut off the music and wiped my brow with the back of my hand. “Phew. Finally done.”
“I hate cooler cleaning day.” Raemina huffed as she plopped down onto a bar stool.
“I think we deserve a drink.” I pulled a Modelo beer out of the mini bar fridge. “Beer, okay?”
Raemina wrinkled her nose. “Any sample bottles of wine in there?”
“You’re in luck.” I grabbed the small bottle and handed it to her. I came around and sat beside her. “Cheers.” I said as I held up my beer and we clinked glasses.
“Cheers.”
After a long pull, I sighed with relief. “Ah, tastes good.”
“Mhm, especially after a cleaning session.”
“So, tell me about Iron Peak. All I know is this place, my apartment, and the diner.”
Raemina chuckled. “Haven’t gone exploring?”
“No, not yet. Figured it would be better to go with someone who knows the area.”
“Has Grizz shown you around at all?”
“We had dinner together at the diner the other night. Nothing else so far. It’s kind of slow going there.”
“Yeah. I’m sure it’s not easy. But he’ll come around. He’s a good dude.”
“He is. Which is why I want to know his reasoning. Why did he leave all those years ago? And why didn’t he ever acknowledge me? If I hadn’t shown up, would he have ever come looking for me?”
“Have you asked him any of this?”
“Not yet. But I plan to.”
“I’m sorry, Gunnar. I can’t imagine it being easy.
I grew up with both my parents and while I love them to death, I’m the baby of the family and they treat me that way.
My older brother and sister flew the coop, no problems. But not me.
So, I sort of just left without their approval.
And now our relationship isn’t the best.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It is what it is. But the older I get, the more I think I’m going to regret it. These wasted years without talking to them.”
“You never know what might happen when you open the line of communication. I’d give anything to talk to my mom again. Even if it’s for only five minutes.”
A sad look crossed Raemina’s face, and I instantly regretted my confession. But sometimes you needed to realize what you had before it was gone. “I’m sorry. I’m such a jerk. I had no idea she passed.”
“It’s okay. How could you? We don’t go around displaying our pasts.
After her long battle with cancer, one of her dying wishes was for me to meet my father.
She knew how badly I wanted it. So, I promised her I would.
The final straw was finding out my girlfriend was cheating on me and got pregnant. ”
“Wow. That’s awful, Gunner. I’m so sorry. My problems seem like small potatoes. Damn, I’m so sorry.”
“No, please don’t apologize. And please don’t invalidate yourself that way. No matter the type of problem, or the size, it matters.” I reached over and squeezed her hand, and her body went rigid beneath my fingers.
A spark flew up my arm and hit me upside the head.
I shouldn’t have touched her…what the hell am I doing?
I pulled my hand back quickly, but she grabbed it and held it in place.
Silence.
Heavy breathing.
Unspoken words.
Unheard whispers.
Then she let it go, sending my heart free falling, as if I could only exist with her touch.
“Gunner, this isn’t a good idea. I don’t want problems here. And I have enough going on in my life. I need to finish school and…” Her voice trailed off as she looked at me through her long eyelashes.
“It’s not a good time for me either. But every time I’m near you all I can think about is kissing you.”
“Gunner…” she whispered my name, and that was it. My heart dived off the cliff.
I wanted her.
She. Was. Mine.
“Raemina…” I growled a warning. More for myself.
Don’t do it.
Do it.
Don’t do it.
Do it.
I leaned in close. Closer. Closer.
Our lips only inches apart…
I grazed her mouth with mine.
And then finally, finally, I took what I wanted.
I kissed her. Slowly, softly at first until I couldn’t hold back.
And when we broke apart, our lips swollen and our chests heaving, I knew without a single doubt Raemina was everything I’d ever wanted in a woman.
There was no going back now.
At least, I thought.
Raemina jumped up from her seat, one hand flying to her mouth, her eyes wide as saucers, as she slowly moved away. “Gunner, no, we can’t. I need this job. I need to finish school.”
I took her hands in mine and brought them to my lips. “We’ll figure it out. I promise. Grizz will come around.”
“No, Gunner, I can’t.”
“What if we don’t tell anyone?”
“There’s no way we’ll be able to pull that off.”
“We could try.”
“I don’t want to be in a secret relationship! I’d rather not have one.”
“Okay. I won’t push it. But I want you, Raemina. I don’t know why. You’re light where I’m dark. You’re sunshine where I’m gloomy. You’re happy and bubbly, while I’m quieter and more reserved. It makes no sense. But neither does life.”
Raemina shook her head, a melancholy, wistful look on her face. “Maybe in another lifetime. But not this one. Goodnight, Gunner.”