Chapter 25
CHAPTER 25
MEREDITH
L eo's arrival brought a shift in the atmosphere – his presence filling the room like a storm cloud. "I met with the head of the Malatesta family," he announced, not bothering with pleasantries as he glanced at our now forgotten game of Monopoly. "He understands this was likely a frame job. We're working together to find who's really behind his nephew's death."
His eyes met mine briefly, and unbidden memories of our night together flooded back – his hands, his lips, the way he'd looked at me like I was something precious. Then our kiss just last night, fueled by alcohol and heightened emotions. We had so much we needed to talk about. Things to figure out. I shoved the thoughts aside, focusing on the present crisis.
"So what now?" Gray asked as he rose from his seat beside me. "We just go back to our lives?"
"Not exactly. Despite their supposed cooperation, I've heard rumblings. Some family members aren't content to wait for answers. A separate faction of the family, headed by Cosimo's father, Tullio Malatesta." He moved to the adjoining kitchen, pouring himself a drink from some bottles Roman had brought in. "We should stay here until we get to the bottom of this."
Sofia blew a raspberry, breaking the tension. "Well, guess we'll just keep playing Monopoly then. Unless there's something else you'd like to play?"
Leo scoffed, already heading toward the hall. "I have calls to make." He shot me another look, his expression masked, and disappeared from view.
Was he pissed because he'd learned about Andrew Sullivan and was annoyed I'd kept it secret? Or was it just because he was still hurt about my decision?
I needed to figure out what I wanted in regards to him. If I was willing to risk everything, or take Sof up on her offer. Or even just Gray's offer.
Gray collapsed onto the couch beside me again, exhaustion evident in every line of his body. "These past few days have been hell all round."
"Yep," I agreed, settling beside him.
"How are you, actually?" He turned to me, concern evident in his green eyes that matched my own. "With everything? The memories?"
"I'm okay, actually. Still adjusting to what I know now, but..." I shrugged. "Doing quite well considering, I think."
"I'm surprised you haven't had any panic attacks," he mused. "With everything that's happened..."
I frowned, realizing he was right. "Yeah, that is weird actually. Even with all this chaos, I haven't felt one coming on."
"Maybe because you know the truth now," Sofia suggested from her perch on the armchair. "Could be the attacks were a symptom of your repressed trauma needing to surface?"
"That's crazy," Gray said, but I wondered if she might be onto something.
"I need to talk to Leo," I said, knowing it was time to face the music. Talking to him was the only way I'd figure out what I wanted to do. I'd spent hours already mulling over while trying to distract myself with games to no avail.
"Right." Gray turned back to Sof, who had nodded knowingly. "Fancy another round of cards while we wait here?"
As I headed down the hall, I heard Sofia ask Gray if he needed a drink, that she was done with cards. So much for her not wanting to drink any more today. Then again, today had taken an unexpected turn.
I approached the closed door of what I assumed to be an office, gathering my courage before knocking.
He called for me to enter, and I sucked in a steadying breath, ready to take on whatever awaited me.
I found Leo at the desk, his chair swiveled to the window, his silhouette stark against the darkness outside. The sun had set now, and all he had on was the desk lamp, casting long shadows across the office. He didn't turn, but I felt him register my presence – the slight tension in his shoulders, the heavy sigh he let out.
"Are you okay?" he asked quietly, his voice carrying that familiar note of concern that both warmed and frustrated me right now.
"That's all you ever care about, isn't it? How I am?" I said softly as I closed the door behind me.
He finally turned, studying me as I approached. The lamplight caught the angles of his face, making him look carved from marble – beautiful and dangerous. My fingers itched to trace the strong line of his jaw, to feel if his skin was as cool as it looked in this light. I knew it wasn't, but it was tempting nonetheless. I pushed the urge away.
"Are you upset with me?" I asked as I hesitated by the door.
"No."
"Not even a little?"
"No, Mer."
The nickname softened me, along with how low his tone was, like he was reassuring a child.
"I didn't want you killing Andrew Sullivan without finding out the whole story. I take it there's no more news on that front?" I shoved my hands into my sweat pockets. I was still in the comfy clothes from Sof's, my sweats and an oversized tee I normally slept in.
"Nothing yet, but we've got eyes on him, people going through his financials, his phone calls, everything. Once we know we've uncovered every stone, we'll handle the situation. Gray's way," he added knowingly, and I nodded. I wanted to bring up the kiss, to address this tension between us. To figure it all out.
"I know you didn't kill that Malatesta man," I said as I stood before him on the other side of the desk, resting my hands on it. The wood was smooth beneath my fingers, grounding me. "But you've killed others."
He nodded, no hesitation. No attempt to soften the truth. "It's part of who I am. Part of my world, my family's legacy. It's who we are, what we do to protect what is ours. We have people who handle most of the bloody side of things, but sometimes, we need to step in and handle it ourselves." The way he said it, it made me wonder if he really needed to step in, or if some part of him enjoyed it.
"Does it bother you?" I searched his face for any hint of the gentle man who'd held me through nightmares.
"Sometimes." His eyes met mine in the darkness, and for a moment, I saw vulnerability there. He sighed as he leaned forward, resting one elbow on the desk to prop his chin up as he stared at me. As if he was preparing himself to be truthful with me. "It's why I keep Gray close. He... keeps me human, in his own way." The way he said it, like it was a dark confession, made my lip curl slightly.
So Sofia had been right in a way. Leo was clinging to his humanity in this dark world he'd been brought into.
"Right. Sofia said Gray's never killed anyone except our father." I wasn't sure why I said that, as if I was proving to us both that my brother was human. More human than him, but I didn't want to think that way. Leo was soft in his own way, with me at least. He was just as human, even if he pretended he wasn't.
"Gray didn't kill your father." Leo's voice was very quiet, almost gentle. "I did. Landed the final blows while he was checking on you. He knows that too, I told him."
It should have shocked me more than it did. Instead, it felt like a missing puzzle piece clicking into place – explaining why Gray had been able to move forward, why Leo had always carried a darker edge when it came to protecting me.
Leo had protected even my brother from becoming a monster by finishing the job for him. Did I think Gray could have done it? Honestly, he'd been full of rage that night, and I'd honestly thought he had.
This truth was both a blessing and a curse right now. Leo was the sole killer of my father.
"I found my hospital records today," I said, watching his face for any reaction. The lamp cast shadows under his cheekbones, making his expression harder to read. "All the injuries he gave me. You know, I always wondered why my wrist aches when it's cold." I rubbed the old injury absently, remembering the crack of bone, the sickening pain. "Turns out he broke it when I was fourteen."
Leo's other hand clenched on the desk and his jaw ticked at the mention of my broken wrist, a muscle jumping beneath his skin.
Something in his controlled rage made me soften toward him.
I wondered how many men he'd killed since my father. How many lives he'd taken in the name of family, of business, of protection. And why, despite knowing this, I still felt safer with him than I had with anyone else.
"I remember more now," I said quietly. "You were always around when we were younger. Watching over me." The memories had surfaced like bubbles breaking the water's surface over the day, fragments of a life I'd tried to forget. "You even came to my piano recital. Front row."
He remained still, but I saw something flicker in his eyes. He was just letting me talk, watching me with those piercing eyes that knew so much.
"That summer, before Dad died," I continued, "you tried to teach me self-defense." I cocked my head at him, my brows furrowed. "Was that because you knew? About what he was doing to me?"
"Not completely." His voice was gruff as he leaned back in his chair. "But I had suspicions. Especially that day we came back from swimming in the lake, found you crying in your room while he sat drinking and watching TV like nothing was wrong." He looked down at his hands. "I wanted you to be able to protect yourself. Just in case."
"In case you weren't around?" The words came out soft.
He nodded, something dark passing over his features. "I couldn't always be there. I wish I had been. I wish I'd known everything that was happening."
"It's okay," I assured him. "There's no way you could have known. I was good at hiding it."
"If I had known..." His voice dropped to a dangerous growl. "I would have killed him sooner. Saved you from his hands earlier."
I moved around the desk, leaning against it beside him. Our shoulders nearly touched, and I could feel the heat radiating from his body, smell his familiar cologne mixed with something distinctly him.
"I've always been your weak spot, haven't I?" I asked quietly.
"Never intended for that to happen." His voice was tight with tension. "But yes. And now people know it. I apologize for that, Mer."
"It's okay." I managed a small, wry laugh. "I mean, all you wanted was to look out for me, because you cared. But it puts a target on my back, doesn't it? Even if we're not together."
He nodded, glaring out into the darkness. "I only ever wanted to protect you, Mer. And now..." His hands clenched on the armrests as those eyes held. "Now I've put you right in the line of fire. I know I'm in the wrong for it. For being there that night. It's just… the thought of you being with another, after I'd…" He ground his teeth together. "I want you. I always have. I just never thought I could have you. And then I did, and I lost you because of who I truly am. Something I can't change." He looked away, resignation across his face.
It pained me, knowing that he was hurting. Yes, he shouldn't have come, but the night we'd shared, the things we'd said to one another… he'd decided I was his, and I'd agreed, then tried to walk away.
Something inside me broke at the sight of him, tense and on edge in my presence, yet resigned as he refused to look at me, admitting his guilt and struggles. Before I could second-guess myself, I moved to straddle his lap, taking his face in my hands so he would look at me. He went rigid, those piercing icy eyes burning into mine as he sucked in a sharp breath.
"You have always protected me," I whispered, thumbs stroking his cheekbones. "You saved me. And when I kissed you last night, it wasn't just because of the alcohol, Leo. I want you, even now, despite my better judgement, despite the risk. I know you'd do anything for me, and yes, it scared me at first…" I pressed my forehead to his, wanting to hide the creases in his brow at my words. "But not now. I've spent all day thinking about it, and seeing you again, talking to you, I know I'll always wonder. Always think of you even if I leave. And if there's already a target on my back, then why fight it?"
The last of my restraints broke as I pressed my lips to his. He remained frozen for only a moment before his hands slid up my back, pulling me closer as he kissed me like a drowning man finding air. It was fiery, full of all our bottled up emotions, all our desires and what ifs, all our secrets come to light. The kiss became more ferocious, more hungry, like he expected me to vanish in his arms, like this was something he could lose at any second, and it only fueled me on.
This was right. Despite everything, my worries, the logic, the risk, it felt too right to be wrong.
"I've wanted you since before I should have," he admitted as he broke away for air, lifting me onto the desk. "I still want you, Meredith. I need you. I want you to be mine, fully and completely."
"And I need you, Leo." The truth of it settled in my bones. He was my weakness now, one I hadn't known about until he'd held me that night, calming me down and knocking the first domino. "I will be yours, fully and completely, even with what I know. I accept you, Leo, for everything, for you." I knew that uttering these words was no light matter. I knew the world he lived in, the danger around him. But I didn't want a Golden Retriever husband in a small town in the middle of nowhere. I wanted him. I wanted Leo Donati, the man who'd held me through my panic attacks, who'd been at my piano recital, who'd always been there since he'd first stepped foot into my life. The man who'd killed to protect not just me, but my brother. The man who was willing to wear the blood on his own hands to save us. He was the man I wanted, now and forever.
His hands found the hem of my shirt just as gunfire shattered the night outside. Leo yanked me off the desk, dragging me behind him as he drew his weapon.
But watching him shift from lover to protector so instantly—I wasn't afraid of the violence that lived beneath his skin.
This was the man who'd kill for me, die for me, burn the world down to keep me safe. And finally, I understood what that meant – what it meant to be loved by someone like Leo Donati.
I wasn't afraid anymore.