Chapter 32
Chapter Thirty-Two
KEELEY
Sal’s gaze locks me in a choke hold, and I struggle to swallow the lump in my throat. He’s right. About everything. He can always see through me.
I don’t want a casual relationship any more than he does. The only reason I’m suggesting it is because it’s less complicated that way. It’s easier to ignore the various excuses screaming at us to walk away, trying to convince us that it’s never going to work.
Because they’re probably right.
“Maybe we should sleep on it? Who knows, one of us might come up with some brilliant idea for how this will work.” I internally cringe at how ridiculous that sounds and smile to hide it.
“Sleep on it?” Sal lets out a soft chuckle. “I can do that.”
“Good.”
Good? What the hell am I doing? What the hell are we doing? We’re both in denial. That’s what. We’re both deluding ourselves for one more day of hope before it all comes crumbling down. It was nice while it lasted.
“Was there anything else you wanted from me?” I ask, standing up, needing to get away before I start getting anxious. Something else Sal can always read through my actions.
His lip purse momentarily, and I busy myself straightening out my pants until he speaks. “No, that’s it.”
“Okay. Great. I have a meeting to get to. Talk soon.”
“Always.”
I smile as I’m leaving and then I’m all smiles for the rest of the day, putting on a front as I go about my business, until the second I’m home. Earlier than usual. My front door barely has time to slam before I’m falling back on my couch, calling Callum on speaker as I cover my face in my hands.
“Keeley.” Callum’s voice croaks and he clears it as I say hi. “Do you have any idea what time it is over here?”
“Honestly, no. I don’t even know what time it is here.” Though it is still light out.
“Shit. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing… Everything.”
“That narrows it down.”
“Shut up.” His gruff voice makes me smile and I relax enough to uncover my face. “I’m obviously referring to my love life.”
“Obviously.”
I laugh at the sarcasm in his tone and sit up, curling my legs up under myself. “I know none of this is going to interest you, but you’re going to hear it anyway. And I’m not even sorry about it.”
“Have at it then.”
“I messed up, Cal. I thought it would be easy. I was wrong. It got complicated so fast, I never saw it coming. And I should have. I’m a well-educated woman.
I can handle tough conversations with the most confident and self-absorbed men out there, and make them see my side of the argument.
I can spot lies, read minds, argue like the best of them.
Yet, I let my feelings creep up on me and then freaked the fuck out when they did. ”
I pause to give Callum a chance to speak, only he’s dead quiet, making me wonder if he fell asleep, until he sighs. “You lost me. Actually, you never had me to begin with. Take a deep breath and explain it to me like I’m five and I don’t speak your language.”
“English?”
“Frantic woman.”
“Oh, right. You need to learn that quickly if you want to get yourself a girl.”
“When did I say I wanted a girl?”
“You didn’t. However, you’re not as young as you used to be. Midthirties are right around the corner and?—”
“I thought we were talking about you?”
“We were.”
“Then let’s get back to it. If you want to talk about my love life, I’m going to need you to call back at a better time.”
“When you’re not so tired?”
“No, when I can’t answer the phone.”
I snort at his humor then stifle my laugh, knowing that’s likely to prompt him to hang up on me, and I need to talk this out with someone that isn’t related to the situation.
God, I wish that wasn’t so literal.
“Back to me.”
“Good. Now what are you talking about?”
“Sal.”
“Your boss?” It takes a lot to make Callum smile, and I can tell by the rise in his tone that he’s smiling right now. At me, not with me.
“Yes. My boss.”
“What did you do?”
“We… ah… kind of hooked up a few times.”
“Kind of?”
“Okay, no. We definitely hooked up. Twice. Once in his office and once in the staff changing rooms.” I wince as his strangled laughter echoes through the phone. “Of course you’d laugh at this.”
“I’m actually not laughing at what you did.”
“Then what are you laughing at?”
“Like father, like daughter.”
“What?”
“Didn’t you tell me that Paige admitted to fucking someone in the bathroom of her building’s gym, and you later found out it was Easton? Seems like the D’Angelos have a thing.”
“What. Ew. Don’t say that. They don’t have a kink. An opportunity presented itself and we took it, that’s all.”
“Who the fuck mentioned kinks? And why are we talking about your sex life?”
“Because I can’t talk to anyone else about this.”
“You can talk to him.”
“Who?’
“Your boss. It sounds like you’re falling in love with him, and if that’s true, you need to talk to him about it.”
“Ugh. You’re not supposed to offer me sound advice. You’re supposed to tell me my situation sucks and that you’d hate to be in my shoes.”
“Your situation sucks and I’d hate to be in your shoes.”
“Thank you. It does suck. I appreciate the support.” Callum groans at my craziness, and the fact that he’s trying warms my heart. “What would you do?”
“If I’d fallen for my boss, who also happens to be my brother’s father-in-law and my best friend’s dad?”
“Yeah.” My stomach knots at how bad that sounds, and I appreciate it when he doesn’t laugh. But God, he’s a good listener.
“I’d talk to him,” Callum advises. “Or in my case her. I’d tell her how I felt and try to work through it together.”
“He tried. And I brushed it all off.”
“Why?”
“Because his concerns were valid, and I didn’t have the answers he was seeking.”
“It’s not your responsibility to have the answers, Keeley. That’s for the two of you to work out.”
Ugh. I sigh, letting my head drop back to the couch. “You’re right.”
“I usually am.”
“Since when?”
“Always. I just don’t like talking in general.”
“Isn’t that the truth.”
“Anything else before I go back to sleep? My alarm’s going off soon.”
I smile at my friend, my chest swelling with gratitude that I have someone I can talk to, even if it pains him to talk back. I miss him. “When are you flying in?”
“The day before the wedding. I can only stay two nights.”
“Boo. You suck.”
“Good night, Keeley.”
“It’s not my bedtime yet.”
“I’m hanging up.”
“Bye.”
I smile as he ends the call, feeling a little lighter and a lot less confused.
As much as I hate to admit that Callum’s right.
He was telling me what I’d been telling myself since I walked out of Sal’s office, only it doesn’t change a thing.
Telling Sal I feel the same won’t take away the complications surrounding our situation; it will only add to it.
And with Paige and Easton’s wedding coming up, we should be focused on them, not us.
Picking up my phone, I bring up Sal’s name and type out a text, pressing send before giving myself time to think it through.
KEELEY: I can’t do casual either. Can we talk about it again when the wedding is over?
Or in other words, when the complication levels are at an all-time high?
SAL: I think that’s a good idea. So… in case I don’t get to say it on the day, you’re breathtaking, Keeley. Never has there been a more beautiful bridesmaid.
Oh, Sal. My shoulders drop as my body relaxes and I laugh to myself, knowing Sal would have made a comment about me holding on to too much tension. Just like I do with him. I found an amazing guy. A decent human being who doesn’t play games. Who wants me as much as I want him.
And he’s completely off-limits.
KEELEY: You can’t say that before you’ve seen me
I tease, needing to bring us back to the friends we once were.
SAL: I don’t have to see you to know that’s how I’ll feel. You’re always the most beautiful woman in the room and I wish I could say that to you more often.
My heart catches as my stomach swirls with regret. Why can’t this be easy? Why does love have to be so goddamn hard?
Not love. Relationships. Why do relationships have to be so goddamn hard?
After shooting off a thank you message, I fall back onto my couch, doing a full three-sixty to where I was when I first got home. No better off than I was then.
I may have said we should talk after the wedding, but what is there to talk about? It’s casual or nothing, and we’ve already established neither of us can do that.
Maybe the best idea is to try to move on. Or at the very least, pretend to try.
Because, what else could we possibly do?