Chapter 41 #2
“I didn’t know about the other stuff until after I spoke to him. And that’s not exactly what I said.”
“What did you say?”
“That he should look at things from an outsider’s perspective before taking things further. To ask himself what he’d do if a friend told him she was dating someone much older.”
“For fuck’s sake, Easton. I don’t want marriage or kids.”
“You don’t?”
“No. I never have.”
“Okay. That may be true now, but things change.”
“Do they?”
“Yes, Paige didn’t want marriage or kids either.”
“I’m sorry, I wasn’t aware that had changed. The kids part, anyway,” I snap, and Paige looks my way, her gaze softening. “God, I’m sorry.” I physically deflate. “It’s the fiery redhead in me.”
Paige laughs while Easton groans. I used that many times growing up.
“You have nothing to be sorry about, Keeley. That hasn’t changed for me. Nor will it. But I have Isaac. I’m not sure how I would have felt if I didn’t have him in my life.”
“I’m in a similar situation; I’ll have stepkids as well. Two of them. Paige and Marc.”
Paige snorts out a laugh while Easton’s eyes flash to mine, his expression full of disgust. “It’s not the same, Keeley.”
“Why not?”
“She’s messing with you, Easton.”
“I know. It’s still wrong.”
I blow out a breath and sink back into my chair, putting some distance between us as I prepare to get real.
Something Easton and I rarely do with each other.
“I don’t want my own kids, Easton. I love Isaac, more than I love you, and I couldn’t imagine not having him in my life.
But I don’t want that for myself. I never have. ”
“What if you change your mind? You’re still young.”
“You’re right. I’m young. But that doesn’t change my feelings. You don’t have to worry about that.”
“You can’t predict the future, Keeley.”
“This isn’t a case of me never having given it a thought or suddenly changing my mind. I know. With absolute certainty. I was forced to face that reality when I was younger.”
“What?” Both Easton and Paige freeze with matching shocked expressions.
“I got pregnant when I was twenty-four. I had a miscarriage at thirteen weeks.”
“Fuck, Keeley.” Easton’s voice breaks a little while Paige’s eyes go wide, and I somehow read her mind, shaking my head. It wasn’t Vance. But it was another athlete, a guy that decided he was too young for a kid and threw the blame my way.
I was too young for a kid too, only I couldn’t walk away like he could. It wasn’t an option for me.
“How the hell didn’t I know about that?” Easton asks, his tone softer than I think I’ve ever heard it.
“You were just starting your last year of college. I moved home to stay with Mom and?—”
“That’s why you moved home?”
“Yep.”
“Jesus. Keels. I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be. I never told you because it’s not something I like talking about.
I just needed you to know that I spent months thinking about the prospect of being a mother, and years blaming myself for the loss.
I don’t want kids. But whether I want them or not, it doesn’t change things between me and Sal.
We haven’t had that conversation because that side of things is new to us.
That’s like asking someone to talk about their future on the first date. ”
“I think you should talk to him about it.” Paige draws my attention, her voice soft, her expression contemplative.
“About what? Not wanting kids?”
“No. I mean, yes, at some point. If it gets to that. But for now, I think you should talk to him about how serious it is. Because I don’t remember ever seeing my dad look at my mom the way he looks at you.”
Her words crack my heart wide open, and yet deep down, I think I knew that. I feel it every time his eyes meet mine.
“I—”
“Keeley Reynolds. Is that you?” A deep voice booms from behind me, and I recognize it instantly, making my throat tighten as I try to swallow.
Paige’s and Easton’s eyes flash to Vance, while I take a second to compose myself and slowly turn around. “Vance. Hi.”
“I can’t believe you’re here. I had a feeling I’d run into you at the stadium, but not before.”
What? “The stadium?” I squeeze my fingers around the empty glass in front of me and put on a smile.
“Oh, nothing official. I’m sure you’ll find out when the deal’s done.”
Deal? Oh, God.
Vance walks to the empty chair beside me and curls his fingers around the back, huffing out an incredulous laugh. “It’s so good to see you. It’s been too long.”
“A lifetime.”
“Yeah. Anyway, I’ll leave you to it.” He taps the chair a couple of times before stepping back. “I’ll be seeing you.”
“Bye.”
He walks away and I hold my breath, waiting for the calm to set back in. Only it doesn’t. My heart races so fast, I feel dizzy.
“Keeley, what’s going on?” Easton asks, his brows furrowed with concern.
“Nothing. That was Vance.” I replay what he said about a deal, confusion undoubtedly playing on my face. Vance was injured during a preseason game. He was forced to retire. Why... Shit. “I think Wes is going to hire him as the new QB coach.”
Paige’s face pales as her eyes go wide. Easton, on the other hand, nods in understanding. Though he really has no idea.
“I can see that. He was a great QB. It’s a shame he had to retire.”
Goddammit. I knew he’d retired, but at no point did I ever think Wes would approach him for the coaching position. Although, I should have considered it.
Paige leans forward, and I shake off her concern. I don’t need sympathy right now. I need normality.
I can’t let him get to me.
I’m better than that.