Chapter Sixteen
Holy crap, my mouth is on Joey’s.
And he isn’t pushing me off. He isn’t reeling back in horror. In fact, he isn’t doing anything. I’m not sure he’s breathing. I lean back a little and look up so I can see his eyes. His fingers are still on my chin. He is still pressed close against me.
My heart is pounding so hard, he has got to feel it.
But I’m sick of being scared. I’m sick of not reaching out for what I want.
Everything he just said blew me away. There are many people who don’t blame me for what happened with Michael, but no one has ever put it the way Joey did. No one has ever made me think that what happened was about protecting myself in the moment, not about revenge, not about getting back at the person who hurt me.
It was not premeditated. I had no intention of killing him, or anyone else, in my lifetime. I never believed I was capable. But looking at it from the perspective he just showed me makes it seem different somehow .
He nailed it. I have always thought I deserve to be in prison for taking someone’s life. Especially because it comes across that I killed him for the years of abuse.
Maybe that is a part of it, but in my heart I know, had those exact circumstances not happened that night, Michael would still be alive. I might have got away again. With Jenna and Brooke’s friendship, I might have learnt to stand up for myself. Not killed him. Michael left me no other choice.
He had a knife and was going to kill me, and Jenna too. I had the means and the opportunity to stop him. That was what happened that night.
“Meg.”
I blink back to the present and the whispered word. I’m about to say sorry and pull back when he slides his fingers gently along my jawline and into the back of my hair.
Michael gripped me like that all the time and I have to fight the urge to pull away, even though I never did when it was Michael, because his grip was too strong.
There is nothing aggressive in the way Joey’s hand is moving, almost delicately, across the surface of my skin. He’s barely moved apart from his hand.
I see it in his face, in the way he is looking at me. He will never do anything I don’t want to do. His lips part as if he is about to speak, but I don’t let him. I move forward again and take his lips. His hand continues its slow, gentle movements against the nape of my neck as he kisses me back.
Sparks shoot through me, from my lips down to my core, and I clench my thighs together. For the first time in a long time, my body throbs with need. I want him to touch me. I want everything.
My lips part and tentatively I lick at the seam of his. He hesitates again, but I put a hand on the back of his head, holding him to me, and it’s like a switch flips. He isn’t any more aggressive, but his tongue meets mine, dipping into my mouth, tangling together slowly. His body shifts towards me .
Then he lets out a groan, and I have to restrain myself from clambering into his lap.
We need to slow down. Joey must sense the change in me, because he stops kissing me, but doesn’t pull away. He catches my bottom lip between his and his palm runs back along my jaw, his thumb sweeps over my cheekbone.
Joey's eyes are still closed, and I can’t help but stare at his beautiful face. Not many people would call a man beautiful, but that is what Joey is. Both in how he looks and his personality. His caring nature makes him who he is.
No one would ever think this tough, champion MMA fighter could hold my face in the palm of his hand so tenderly.
“Was that okay?” he asks.
“More than okay,” I say back. Did he not get that from the way I pounced on him? His eyes are moving left and right as he stares into mine. Our faces are still so close together.
“I like you Meg.”
I swallow. Oh God, is he about to say ‘but?’
“I never knew whether it would be okay to touch you like this.”
“Did you want to?” I ask, shyly.
“I’m doing everything I can not to pull you into my lap right now. But it’s a good idea that I leave.”
“What?” my stomach drops.
“I want to take things slow. But I am interested, and I want to see where this can go.”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell him we don’t need to take anything slow. My heart is soaring at the idea that Joey Ferguson likes me.
He wants to take things further with me, but he’s right. Jumping into something with the first guy I’ve liked is the wrong way to do this.
Brooke’s voice is echoing inside my head, telling me not to let him leave, but it’s written all over his face. Joey believes he is doing the right thing. Who’d have thought I’d be the one not wanting to push him into something he isn’t ready for?
I chuckle to myself, and Joey’s brows dip as he sits back.
“What’s funny?” he asks, but not in a way that shows he’s bothered by it. He has a smirk on those perfect lips of his.
He leans further away as amusement fills his gaze.
“Nothing,” I say, my fingertips touching my lips. “I guess I just surprised myself. Usually I’d shy away from making a move.”
“I’m glad you did,” he assures me. “It’s gonna be fucking hard walking away right now.”
“Thank you.”
“For what?” he asks, tilting his head.
“Understanding me.”
He brushes my hair back behind my ear, then leans in and kisses my forehead. When he pulls back, his nostrils flare and he glances down. My panties are soaked. Oh God, can he tell?
Before I have time to do or say anything, he gets to his feet and steps away. As hard as it is, I see him to the door.
“Make sure you lock this after me,” he says.
“I will.”
“Good. And no slacking on training. Just because you kissed me doesn’t mean I’m gonna go easy on you.”
I laugh at him, and he reaches forward, running a hand down my arm and taking hold of my hand. We both stare down at where we’re joined, and my cheeks burn again.
“Fuck,” he curses under his breath. “I need to go. Lock the door,” he steps out into the hall and pulls the door shut behind him before I can say anything else.
I’m frozen in place, my body tingling, my heart full.
“Meg, lock the door.”
“Sorry,” I laugh and snap all the locks into place. I imagine him standing there until he hears all the bolts turning. Pressing my forehead and both palms to the door, I listen for a moment. After a minute, I hear him moving away, then the ding of the elevator arriving.
My smile is a mile wide as I turn back to the living room. I can’t believe he kissed me.
Between my legs is throbbing, desperate for some relief. My panties are soaked right through.
Damn. I appreciate him doing the right thing, but I’m regretting not telling him to stay.
I’m not a hundred percent sure what to do when Joey meets me at his door the following morning. He doesn’t seem to have any problem because he lightly touches one side of my waist and leans in, pressing a soft kiss to my mouth. My heart does a quick double thump as he steps back and gives me a panty melting grin.
He pulls me inside by my hand and closes the door. He’s standing so close he’s almost towering over me. For a moment, my vision blurs until he squeezes my hand, the touch bringing me back. One of his brows has lifted questioningly, but I smile, reassuring him I’m okay with just a look.
“Okay,” he lets go of my hand. “You ready to sweat?”
That conjures up different scenario to the one he means. I clear my throat and nod. Joey’s grin spreads.
“Dirty girl,” he taps my nose. “Come on, it’s time to get serious.”
I hide a smile and the thrill that runs through me at his words as he leads the way to the gym. It doesn’t matter that he turns into trainer Joey, that he works me hard on the machines and then some cardio moves, before he grabs the pads and gloves. I’m a sweaty mess. He doesn’t mind as he helps me into my gloves again.
He also takes a lot of time standing behind me, his hands on my hips, getting me into the right position. My skin is hot, but I shiver at his touch. When he leans forward and presses his lips to my ear, I all but lose my footing and nearly fall on my ass.
Joey chuckles, but when he comes back around and grabs the pads, his serious face is back.
Playful Joey is coming out. He knows exactly what he’s doing to me. Well, two can play at this game. I push my shoulders back, knowing it lifts my chest up and today, I’m wearing a pretty daring tight top. It’s sleeveless with a racer back and built in support, so it makes my boobs look amazing.
I smile in satisfaction when his eyes dip and hold. There may be support in the top, but it doesn’t stop the pebbling of my nipples from showing through. Joey tips his head up to the ceiling and groans. My heart pounds wildly at that noise.
Last night I’d been so horny I ended up taking care of myself, or I was going to lose my mind. With his focus still on the ceiling, I greedily run my eyes across his body. He has a sleeveless top on too, showcasing those amazing arms. It’s baggier than he usually wears, so the definition of his abs is hard to see, but I know it’s there. His muscular legs are on show too in his basketball shorts and my eyes drop to his crotch.
“Meg,” he says in a warning voice.
I blink back up to his face. He takes a step closer but pauses, a moment of hesitation crossing his features.
Emboldened and not particularly caring about his rules that we have to focus on training when we’re in this room, I move closer to him. As I reach out, I realize I have the gloves on and I won’t be able to touch him.
Joey leans forward, and drops his forehead against mine, his eyes darkening in a way I haven’t seen on a man in a long time. When Michael wanted sex, he looked at me hungrily, more predatory, even though he never forced me.
I push him out of my head. He doesn’t belong here.
This, his stare, has me weak at the knees.
“Do you have any idea what you’re doing to me?” Joey asks .
“I might.”
“Fuck,” he groans.
I push off one glove, then the other, barely breaking contact with him. His chest heaves and it’s clear he’s holding himself back. That makes me want his touch even more. Raising my arms, I keep my eyes locked on him until my hands are resting on his shoulders. Joey still hasn’t touched me, but his throat works as he swallows, his eyes grow hooded, and I feel a sudden sense of power.
He’s waiting for me, giving over control. And I lose it.
I lift and press my mouth to his. It only takes a few seconds before Joey’s hands wrap around my waist, pulling me against him, and his head lowers to make it easier for us to kiss.
It’s different from last night. We’re not so gentle as our mouths open to one another and the deeper we kiss, the tighter he holds me. He angles my head to go even deeper, and a growl rumbles in his chest that has my knees weakening. Joey must feel it because his hands tighten at my waist and he straightens me up, our kiss breaking.
“Is this okay?” he whispers. “Can I touch you?”
It melts my heart that he asks, and it also sets me on fire that he wants to.
I stare him straight in the eyes and nod. I’m desperate for him to touch me.
“Yes.”