Chapter Seven
Sailor
Golden_Phoenix: Tell me more.
I’ve been talking to Shadow for hours. We haven’t played Solar Surge in days.
All we do is talk. I’m intrigued by how easy it was to find someone else who is into the same things I am.
It gives me hope. Hope that I can find someone who isn’t cruel like Jaxon, but still into the same sexual things as me.
Even if the little voice in my head tells me that Jaxon isn’t cruel and he was only protecting me…
But he didn’t have to kill her—he didn’t have to shove her off a cliff!
LMCYTTWACYAGG: I’d shove a pair of panties into your mouth to keep you quiet. Wouldn’t want your roommate to hear.
Golden_Phoenix: Clean or dirty?
LMCYTTWACYAGG: Dirty. Not only with your pussy juice, but with my cum too.
I groan, biting my lip, and sink deeper into the bed.
Golden_Phoenix: Go on. I want more.
LMCYTTWACYAGG: The room would be completely dark. You’d only hear me. Feel me. But not see me. Never see me. After making sure you can’t make a sound, I’d slowly pull the blankets off your body so I can run my hands over your soft skin.
Golden_Phoenix: And then you’d fuck me?
LMCYTTWACYAGG: Oh no, baby. You’re going to wait for that.
LMCYTTWACYAGG: You’re going to beg for it.
LMCYTTWACYAGG: And even then I won’t give it to you. Not until you’re on the verge of insanity. I want you begging, and pleading, and desperate for me.
Golden_Phoenix: I’m already desperate.
LMCYTTWACYAGG: Then what are we waiting for?
My gaze goes to the door. Sam is on the other side, asleep on the couch.
I’ve learned to handle these thoughts, even if I’ve pushed them away since I left Jaxon.
I’ve accepted them for the most part. But I can’t bring this part of me into Sam’s house.
What if he woke up while someone was here?
What would he think? What would he do? That would be a mess.
Salvaging our friendship would be impossible.
Lately, he’s been sleeping heavier than usual, barely stirring when I move around, but I can’t risk it.
There’s a soft knock on the door, and I quickly shut off my screen.
“Come in!”
The door opens and in comes Sam.
“Hey, just wanted to say goodnight.”
I give him a smile. “Good night.”
He smiles back, then leaves, which is a surprise. He didn’t linger tonight. Not like he usually does.
I hear his footsteps on the floor, and the door to the bathroom closes as the vent comes on.
The medicine cabinet squeaks open, and then there’s the familiar shake of his meds.
He uses the toilet. Flushes it. The vent turns off.
The door opens. More footsteps. Creaking of the couch as he gets comfortable.
Then silence. Same routine every night. It’s so predictable. So boring.
Golden_Phoenix: I don’t want my roommate to find us.
LMCYTTWACYAGG: Isn’t that half the fun?
Golden_Phoenix: He would flip out! If he saw you… it wouldn’t be good.
LMCYTTWACYAGG: I’ll sneak in through the window.
I glance at the window, which doesn’t seem like a bad idea, only it’s too far from the ground.
Golden_Phoenix: Too high.
Golden_Phoenix: Besides, I don’t even know you. What if you’re a stalker?
LMCYTTWACYAGG: I’m sorry… isn’t that what you were looking for? *winky face*
I let out a small laugh, my stomach fluttering, but then a niggle of fear enters my brain.
That’s what Jaxon did. And I liked it. No, I loved it. Jaxon followed me around all the time, for much longer than I knew. It made me feel special. Protected. Wanted. Until I learned who he truly was. I can give into these parts of me, but I need to do it safely, and I need to be smart.
LMCYTTWACYAGG: I’m kidding. I’m all about consent.
Golden_Phoenix: That’s good to know. So am I. Can you send me a picture of yourself?
LMCYTTWACYAGG: I thought you didn’t want to see my face? Isn’t that part of the fantasy?
Golden_Phoenix: Cover your face. Let me see the other stuff.
LMCYTTWACYAGG: Your wish is my command.
A photo comes in and my breath stutters in my chest.
“There’s no way,” I breathe out.
There is no way that I meet two random guys who are into the same things that I am that are hot. Not just hot, but like holy shit goddamn hot.
I groan, slamming my head against the pillow a bunch of times.
Why do I do this to myself?
The man in the photo isn’t quite pale, but doesn’t look like he goes in the sun much.
He’s in shape, but not with full abs. They’re there though, I can make them out a little.
The definition in his arms is what catches my attention, and the thick veins in his forearms and backs of his hands.
I picture the way they’d pop even more around my throat or shoving his fingers inside me.
I see gym equipment in the background, weights and floor-to-ceiling mirrors. He’s wearing black athletic shorts, and black and pink sneakers. His face is covered by a silly emoji face. He has no tattoos. That’s the only thing that disappoints me.
LMCYTTWACYAGG: Are you drooling?
Golden_Phoenix: You are so full of yourself.
LMCYTTWACYAGG: Can you blame me?
Golden_Phoenix: Not at all. Let me wipe my mouth, and we can get back to our conversation.
LMCYTTWACYAGG: Don’t bother. I’m only going to make you drool more when my dick is shoved down your throat.
My stomach flutters, and there’s an ache between my legs. I haven’t been in the mood to do anything since everything happened with Jaxon. Not until recently, like right now. Not until Shadow.
LMCYTTWACYAGG: If you’re serious about this, we can do it. We can make it happen.
Golden_Phoenix: How? You live four hours away.
LMCYTTWACYAGG: It will be worth the drive. Don’t you think?
I chew on my lip as I think it over.
Golden_Phoenix: Yes, but what if it doesn’t go right?
LMCYTTWACYAGG: Oh, it’ll go right. We’ll make sure of it.
I am considering this. I am considering inviting a man I just met on the internet into Sam’s house, while he’s sleeping, to fuck me—all while I fight him off and pretend that I don’t want it.
It’s crazy, but in the best way possible.
The thought gives me a thrill like nothing else.
The same way the stuff Jaxon and I talked about did.
Only this is on a whole different level because Sam is in the other room.
He’s right there, feet away, and could walk in at any time.
He is a heavy sleeper. I’ve gone out there and made food without disturbing him, but opening and closing the front door? That could be a problem. Along with whatever sounds come from inside this room…
Golden_Phoenix: It’ll take a lot of planning.
LMCYTTWACYAGG: Will it? I think you just need to give me a night and I’ll be there.
Golden_Phoenix: This feels like such a bad idea.
LMCYTTWACYAGG: All the fun ones are.
I wish he was wrong.