Chapter Fifteen
Sailor
My heart pounds so hard I think it may explode. The way I feel about this, it’s nothing compared to the first time with Jaxon, yet there is something about it that is exhilarating in a different type of way.
Maybe because we aren’t in the woods, or because this man is a stranger who knows where I live now.
He’s in the bed I sleep in. And I have no idea who he is.
Not that I knew who Jaxon was, but I saw photos.
I spoke to him on the phone. He went to my school.
We built a little bit of a relationship before taking the next step.
This man is a complete stranger. I know nothing about him.
There’s a sharp pang in my heart, and I push it away. I know what it is because I’ve felt it all too often, but Jaxon is gone and he isn’t coming back. The sooner I realize it, the better. That part of my life is done. It’s time to move on.
This is the way to move on from him. Going on with my life, moving forward, that’s what I need to do. There’s no point being stuck and being sad. It’s obvious he doesn’t care about me, so why should I care about him?
The weight above me is heavy, but it’s the pressure from the blankets pushing me into the mattress that makes it difficult to breathe. He thought about this, or he just really knows what he’s doing.
“I made it,” he whispers huskily in my ear. “Now you really are mine.”
His voice is so quiet I hardly hear him at all, but I make out the words. They’re rough, forced, like maybe he just got over a cold or something.
His weight shifts, and he leans over me, his arm coming into my vision. He has a long-sleeved black thermal on, but even through it, I can make out his muscles.
My heart does a flip, and I get a little dizzy.
This was really stupid.
He grabs my phone, yanking it from the charger, then leans further down to pull open the bottom drawer and carefully puts it inside.
“Now it’ll be more difficult for you to call for help.”
“I’ll just scream,” I say frantically.
“And who do you think will save you?” he asks, moving so he’s over me again, legs on either side of my hips, hands by my shoulders.
“You saw my roommate.”
He chuckles, low and deep.
“He isn’t waking up anytime soon.”
That really has my heart going, and the voice in the back of my head screams danger!
“Did you—”
“Hurt him? No. Just trust me. He isn’t waking up to your screams.” He presses his body on me, grinding against my ass. He’s hard… so hard, and I bite my lip to stop from moaning because I can’t give in that easily. “But you like that, don’t you?”
His fingers come to my face, brushing some hair away from my cheek and pulling it over to the other side. His face comes beside mine, and that’s when I notice the black ski mask he’s wearing. He really did think about this…
I was so worried that I’d made plans with someone who didn’t know what they were doing and this wouldn’t be worth it… but he’s good. He knows what I want.
“Answer me, sweet girl.”
“Yes,” I breathe out.
“Mm, that’s what I thought.” His hand travels along my side, running from my shoulder, down my ribs, and over my hip. He groans and thrusts against me again, and this time, I can’t stop the sounds that leave me. “You’ll be doing a lot more of that shortly.”
There’s something about the way he talks that’s slightly familiar. Something about the way he says the words, and not really his voice. Maybe it’s an accent thing or maybe it’s just because I am so turned on and so excited for this.
“We’ll see,” I taunt him, which causes him to laugh.
“Yeah, we will see,” he says as he yanks the pillow out from under my head. The motion pulls my hair around my face, so I can see even less into the dark room.
There’s fabric shuffling, then his weight shifts. Something is placed over my head, pulled tight around my neck.
I’m going to die, I think. This man is a serial killer, and I lead him right to me. He’s going to strangle me. He’s going to end my life. This was so stupid. The stupidest thing I’ve ever done. And yet, I don’t move.
Fight. Flight. Freeze.
I freeze. I always freeze, in the moment.
It’s what happened with Jaxon too. It’s why I didn’t say anything, why I didn’t react, why I didn’t try to save Mindy because maybe—no. I’m not going there. Not now, not while Shadow is here.
Seconds pass, and I can still breathe. There’s pressure around my neck, and something around my head, but I’m breathing just fine. Then the blankets are pulled down my upper half, the cool air kissing my hot skin, and it’s easier to breathe.
“I’ve been thinking about what I’m going to do to you,” he starts. I have to strain to hear him. The blood is rushing in my ears. My face is hot and sweaty from my breath. “And I so badly want to feel you come apart around my cock, and you will… trust me, you will.”
The bed squeaks as he shifts, peeling the blankets down further, but stopping at my ass, the weight of him still pressing my lower half to the bed.
“But first… I want to see you. I want to see every inch of this sexy little body, and I want to lick and suck and bite every single sweet inch of you.” He leans forward, lowering his voice, “Because I want you to remember this night for the rest of your life.”
Jesus… oh my god.
I’m so dizzy. My heart is pounding. My skin is covered in sweat.
I need to calm my breathing before I pass out.
I close my mouth and breathe through my nose, trying to slow it down.
Long, deep breaths, hold it for a few seconds, then let it out slowly.
I do this as warm hands slide under my shirt and up my back, fingers trailing along my ribs and then the side of my breast.
“I don’t know where to start,” he murmurs.
“Maybe here.” He presses a hand against my side, just above my hip.
His touch is firm but not harsh. I startle when his mouth is on me, a mix of shock and because it tickles.
Soft lips caress my skin, then his hot tongue, and then his teeth… like his touch, firm but not harsh.
Well, there goes my breathing.
He does this same pattern—soft kiss, a gentle lick, a firm bite—along the bottom part of my back before going up the side of my ribs.
He licks down my spine, shoves the blankets away along with my shorts, and the hardest bite goes to my right ass cheek.
I squirm, a groan coming out of me that I try to hide by pressing my face into the mattress.
“That one is going to leave a mark,” he comments cockily.
I like that he’s doing what he wants.
I like that I have no idea what’s coming.
I like that I have no idea who he is.
I like that this is dangerous.
I really like how turned on I am because that hasn’t happened in months.
This could be my life safely. I can accept this about me. I can do this. I can learn and practice and get involved in a community that helps me. I don’t have to shy away from these parts of me. It’s not all bad. I can do this. And I can do it without Jaxon.