Chapter 21
Chapter Twenty-One
Jaxon
I watch all of it like a movie. Starting from her pulling into the driveway, afraid to walk in, panicking because the door was unlocked, checking her house while carrying a knife, inviting her friend over, not being able to sleep…
I message her as Shadow, but she doesn’t answer.
I feel the wall she has up, and I’m not sure how to break it.
I don’t know how to pretend to be someone else, and I’m worried that if I’m too much of myself, she’ll notice and pull away even more.
I’m doing my damn best with what I have.
Maybe the answer is not pretending to be someone else…
maybe I need to be myself… as myself. This Shadow thing could be a bad idea, but at least she talks to him.
I’m not sure she’d talk to me if I texted her as me.
I heard the entire phone call between her and Amelia, and it made me fucking furious.
I hate how scared she is to be in her own home, and I can’t tell if it’s from me—because of what I did, or because I’m not there to protect her.
I so badly want to go in there, make sure she knows I’m still here, still watching her, still making sure nothing will happen to her.
Protecting her, no matter what it takes.
Maybe this is discomfort from being taken by Mindy. There are so many things that could be the cause of her fear, and all I want is to make it go away. I could if she’d let me.
The plan was so clear in the beginning, but now it’s all blurry, and I don’t know what the right answer is.
It seems like the safest bet is to keep being Shadow, rather than showing up as me.
She’d panic. Lose her mind. What if she calls the cops?
She can’t prove anything with Mindy, but I don’t want to create a mess, and I certainly don’t want to put her through something like that.
And it’s not the best time to have to cover something up, not now when all this shit with the organization is up my ass.
I have absolutely no idea where my mother is, what she’s doing, or who she’s with.
No one seems to know either. I’ve called a shit ton of people.
There’s one left, one I don’t want to deal with, but it seems he’s my only option.
There’s an order here, a way in which I have to do things.
Dealing with my mother has to happen first. Only then can I put my full attention on Sailor.
If she isn’t gone, she’ll constantly be a thorn in my side.
It’s best to get this over with and just move on from all of this.
So when the sun comes up, I push up out of my chair, my eyes gritty and a headache coming on from not sleeping a wink. Sailor finally fell asleep around four, and she doesn’t have an early class, but she does have to be at school for ten. I’m sure she’ll get up when she needs to.
I hop in the shower and dress in a casual pair of grey slacks and a black T-shirt.
I can’t make it obvious that I’m trying to impress my father because then he’ll only get pissed off.
But showing up there in a pair of jeans and a band T-shirt, like I normally would, will only piss him off.
And I need him on my side this time. As much as I can’t stand the fucker, he’s my only option. He’s all I have left.
Well, maybe there is another option, but I’m not sure how much Orville could help me when I have nothing to go by.
If I happen to get a hint of something, like where my mother is or who she’s with, I’ll go to him and see what he can give me.
Right now, the most obvious option is my father.
Because I’d bet my left nut that she’s gone to him already.
Because like me, he’s all she has left too.
He may not know where she is, but he knows something.
I wouldn’t be surprised if my mother tried bribing him or made promises to get him out if he helped her.
I truly have no idea what he would have said to that.
He’s kind of an idiot and may have believed her.
I don’t know if he’ll turn on her if he knows something, but all I can do is try. He’s my last fucking resort.
I haven’t been on campus in months, ever since I went to Oregon.
Like Sailor, all my classes switched to online, and it wasn’t a coincidence.
I’d told my father to approve her change, or he’d regret it.
At the time, he didn’t know what had gone down with my mother, and so he probably thought I would sic her on him.
He listened and made sure the request was approved for both of us.
Sailor, this semester, is back in school while my classes are still online.
The last thing I want is to run into her while there.
Of course I could have made sure we didn’t have any classes together or near one another, but it was too much of a risk.
It was easier to let Sailor do her thing.
It’s more important to her, anyway. The only thing I’m getting out of it is money, which I already have enough of. School isn’t important to me.
Sailor doesn’t have class for a while, so I should be safe here now without worrying about running into her and bothering her. I don’t know if running into me has been a concern of hers, but I hope it isn’t. I just want her to get back to her normal life, and stop being afraid all the time.
I step into the familiar office and find my father’s secretary at the printer against the far wall, by the tall windows. The machine is running, so I doubt she heard me step in. When the machine is done, she grabs the stack from the machine and turns, startling when her eyes meet mine.
“Good Heaven’s,” she gasps, putting her hand on her chest. She swallows hard before coming over to the tall counter and putting the papers on the shelf below. “What can I help you with, Jaxon?” she asks, already sounding annoyed by my presence.
“Is the boss in?” I ask with a smirk, jerking my head toward his closed door.
“No, he isn’t here yet. But you’re more than welcome to sit and wait for him.”
“What time do you expect him?”
She glances at the clock on the wall. “He’s usually here by 8:30.”
The clock says it’s 8:07.
“Usually?” I ask.
She gives me a what do you want me to do? look.
“Fine. I’ll wait.” I take a seat in the corner, glancing over the magazines laid out on the table, but not a single thing catches my attention.
Alumni publications, local fun spots, and of course Forbes and Time.
I pull up the feed to Sailor’s house to pass the time.
Both girls are still sleeping, and I wonder if Amelia has any classes today that she may be late for.
I’d like to make sure Sailor was awake on time, but that’ll only freak her out.
By the time my father walks in at 8:42, annoyed doesn’t begin to cover the way I’m feeling. But I have to play nice because I need something from him, and that is by far my least favorite thing to do with anyone, never mind him.
He groans when he sees me, shaking his head as he walks to his office.
The feeling is mutual. I get up and follow him, slipping in before he can slam the door in my face.
I sit in the seat across from his desk, straightening my back and focusing on making my face happy rather than the resting dick face I was graced with.
He gets himself settled, putting his briefcase down, straightening his tie, then sitting in his chair.
The glare on his face almost has me laughing, but I hold it back.
I need him.
I have to keep reminding myself of that or I’ll never get anything.
“What do you want?” he snaps.
I haven’t been here in months, and still both of these people in the office have no tolerance for me. It’s sad, really.
“What a way to greet your only son.”
He rolls his eyes. “Don’t give me shit, Jaxon. The last time you were in here, you blackmailed me into some bullshit, and I’m sure you’re about to do the same. So get on with it.” He gestures at me with a flick of his wrist.
“No blackmail today,” I say flatly.
His expression doesn’t change. I don’t blame him for not believing me. I am too much like my mother, and he knows it.
He says nothing, just waits for me to speak. We will sit here all day if I don’t say something, so I just get it out. The less time I have to sit in front of him, the better.
“Has she reached out to you?” I ask. Only someone who knows him well would notice the slight twitch in his left eye, so I add, “Don’t lie to me. There’s no point. You have no reason to protect her.”
“Actually, I do,” he says. “She owns me, and you fucking know it.”
I huff a laugh. “What did she say to you?”
Clearly, he knows nothing of what’s going on.
“I can’t tell you.”
I tap my fingers on the armrest, regarding him for a long moment, mulling over how much to tell him. I finally decide that telling him everything won’t hurt, and in fact may work out in my favor.
“I don’t know what she said to you, but she’s no longer… involved.” His eyes narrow, and then he smiles. I raise a brow. “What the fuck is so humorous?”
“You’re so predictable.”
“Excuse me?”
“She said you’d say this. That you’d come in here, trying to get information out of me by saying some bullshit about her no longer being involved. I’m not stupid, Jaxon, I know who your mother is, how deep she is into that situation. I was married to the woman, remember?”
I shake my head. “And you’re going to believe her over me?”
“I have no reason to believe you.” He leans closer, lowering his voice.
“I’ve accepted the fact my life belongs to her and that organization.
I made the mistake of getting involved with her and all the shit she’s twisted up in.
Had I known beforehand, I never would have.
Dealing with her, and now you?” He scoffs. “I should have married Cindy Martins.”
“You are a fucking fool,” I comment.
“Get out of my office.”
“No.”
“Excuse me?”
“I am not leaving, because we are not finished talking.” I lean forward, grasping the ends of the arm chair.
“I don’t like needing you for anything, but I need you right now because my life is on the line this time.
She is no longer involved in the syndicate, and that’s the fucking truth.
She pulled some shit a few months ago, kidnapped my girlfriend, used my ex for it, which got her killed.
She pissed off the wrong people after that, doing who the fuck knows what because they won’t even tell me, and took off, telling everyone she was worried I was going to be after her…
but something else happened too. Something that put everyone against her.
Why would she be scared of me? She has all this protection, right? ”
“No—”
“Yes,” I say firmly. “Vincent is running it now, but none of that matters. What does matter is the fact I am still tied up in this bullshit and they’re coming after me because they think I’m protecting her.”
My father stares at me, considering my words. “Why are you here?”
“To find out what the hell she told you so I can figure out where she is. If I don’t deliver her to them, they’re going to come after me.
It’s that fucking simple.” I laugh. “I knew she’d come to you; I knew she’d try to convince you.
I knew you wouldn’t believe me, but all I can do is tell you the truth.
You’re the one who needs to decide, who needs to pick a fucking side.
So, who are you going to choose? That cunt, or your own flesh and blood? ”
I’m on my feet now, palms flat on the desk, growling these words out at him.
I didn’t think I’d get so pissed over this, but you know what? I am. I have two shitty fucking parents who have done nothing for me, and maybe I have some deep-seated mommy and daddy issues, but seriously, who the fuck doesn’t?
“You haven’t done a damn thing my entire life that’s mattered to me. That could change right now.” I tap the desk. “Right this minute.”
He grits his teeth, his eyes imploring mine. “I’m sorry.”
I hold his gaze, not allowing my fury to take over.
“If you tell me where she is, it’ll end. I’ll get you out. You’ll be done.”
Hope flashes in his eyes, but it’s gone just as quickly.
“You don’t have that kind of power,” he says, sounding disappointed.
I stand straight, looking down my nose at him.
“You’re going to regret this decision.”
Then I turn on my heel and leave his office.