Chapter 21
Chapter Twenty-One
KADE
Presley
Do you think you could do me a favor?
Kade
Anything for you
You sure? Don’t you want to hear what I’m asking?
You’ll always get a yes from me
Aren’t you sweet
I need someone to watch Poppy tonight
I work late tonight and the babysitter can only stay until five today
I’ve haven’t ever watched her away from the ranch before
She loves you
You’ll just need to feed her and put her to bed
Maybe read a book or two
I know you’re taking her riding tomorrow, so if you can’t do two days in a row, it’s fine
I can check with Georgia
I think I can manage that
No need to bother your friends
You’re a saint
I haven’t gone to the store, so I’ll order some pizza for you guys
I can go to the store and pick something up
What does she like?
Mac and cheese
But only the blue box kind
Got it
I can do this
Trying to convince me or you
She’s my daughter
How hard can it be?
She’ll be easy
You might have to color an endless amount of pictures, but easy
And then I’ll see you after?
I’ll see you after
“Okay, I can do this,” I mutter to myself.
I mean, it’s Poppy. She’s my daughter. I can figure this out.
Even though I’ve never spent any time around kids before in my life. Ever. Shifting the brown grocery bag to my other hand, I knock on the door of Presley’s apartment.
“Kade!” the voice on the other side shouts. The door swings open and I gaze down at Poppy. “Hi.”
“Hi, Poppy.”
“Mom said you’d be coming over tonight.”
“I hope that’s okay,” I say, walking inside and shutting the door behind me.
“Yeah. Do you want to color with me?”
I spot her nanny putting books away in her bag. “Give me a minute and then I’m all yours.”
“Okay.”
“Thanks for covering tonight. I have an exam I have to study for.”
“No worries, Becca,” I say. “Anything I need to know?”
“Bed time is at eight and she’s already picked out the books she wants to read, so you should be all set. Her pajamas are on her bed, and Strawberry is tucked in already.”
I smile. “The goose.”
“The goose,” she repeats. “She can’t sleep without it.”
“I’m glad we know where it is then.”
My sister used to have meltdowns if she didn’t have her teddy bear when she was little. I can only imagine it’s the same with Poppy.
“If you need anything, I left my number on the counter.”
“Thanks. I appreciate it.”
I wave her off and shut the door behind her, locking it, before toeing off my boots and heading to the kitchen table where Poppy has papers and markers spread out.
“What are you working on?”
“It’s a picture of me riding Lollipop.”
It’s a small circle on top of a brown oval. “It looks great.”
I lie through my teeth. I mean, that’s what you’re supposed to do for kids, right? I can’t tell one thing from another. But because it’s Poppy, I’ll tell her anything she does is done well.
“Do you want me to add you?”
“Only if there’s room.”
“What color do you want to be?” she asks.
“You pick.”
She looks at me, concentration written all over her face. “You seem like an orange person.”
“Orange? Hmm. I don’t think I’ve ever thought about what color I am.”
“Well, you feed Lollipop carrots and those are orange.”
I smile at her, passing over the correct marker. “That’s sound logic.”
Read: the logic of a five-year-old.
“Are you hungry?” I ask. “I got mac and cheese at the store for you.”
“Yes. Mac and cheese is my favorite.”
I ruffle her hair. “I’ll get started on dinner and you can finish your picture.”
“Maybe I can make a picture you can take to Lollipop for me. I know yours is in your barn, but she needs one with her.”
“I can definitely do that. We can put it in the stall with her.”
“She’ll love it.”
If she doesn’t try to eat it.
Poppy tells me all about her day as I boil the noodles and make her dinner. Is this what being a parent is like? Getting to hear about the things she did at school? About her friends?
Emotions overwhelm me at the thought that this can be my life. How? I don’t know. Presley and I still need to figure out those details.
Right now, things are good between us. Easy. And I want to keep them that way.
Scooping a big spoonful of cheesy noodles into a bowl, I peel an orange and carry everything over to the table.
“Did I do alright?” I ask, setting everything in front of her before going back to the kitchen to get her a cup of milk.
She stabs her fork into the bowl, pulling it out with two noodles on it.
“Something wrong?” I ask.
“It’s not the right kind.”
“It’s mac and cheese.” I look down at the bowl. Did I burn it? It’s probably the one thing that even I can make without screwing up.
She shakes her head. “It’s too cheesy.”
“Too cheesy? But…cheese is in the name.”
She looks at me like I’m an idiot. “But this has too much cheese. I like the other kind.”
“The other kind?”
Jesus. I sound like a parrot, firing everything she says back at her. Pulling out my phone, I find the text from Presley. There in black and white—blue box only.
Fuck.
“Well, they were out of the kind you like.”
I thought I’d be okay getting this kind. I mean, it’s cheesy noodles; how different can they be?
She sighs, resting her chin in her hands. “Can I have something else?”
“I’d say pizza, but that has cheese.”
“I love pizza!” she exclaims, face excited.
“What kind?”
“Cheese.”
“Cheese. You just said this is too cheesy, but you like cheese pizza?”
“Duh.”
Right. Because I’m the illogical one in this conversation.
“Can toddlers even eat pizza?” I ask, more to myself.
“Hey!” Poppy pipes up. “I’m five. I’m a big kid.”
I throw my hands up in defense. “Sorry.”
She hops off the chair and heads into the living room. “Can I watch a movie until dinner gets here?”
“Sure.”
She pops into her room and comes out with Strawberry in tow before turning on a show. One where a little girl and boy are teaching Spanish. At least she’s watching something educational.
I wanted tonight to go well. What if me screwing up what she likes for dinner means she won’t like me? Fuck. I want to be her dad. To have a place in her life.
What if she disowns me before it even happens all because of the wrong brand of fucking mac and cheese?
Way to go, Kade.
I drop down on the couch next to her as we await dinner. Her eyes are focused on the TV, squeezing Strawberry to her.
“What—”
“Shh.” She shushes me. “I’m learning Spanish.”
Okay then.
Maybe by taking her riding after school tomorrow I can see if she still likes me. I have access to horses. I’m not above bribery to get her to like me.
By the time the pizza gets here, she’s at least talking to me again. And by the time we’re finishing her books and she’s crawling into bed, she’s telling me how excited she is to see Lollipop.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Poppy,” I tell her. “Sweet dreams.”
“Are you going to tell Strawberry good night?” She holds up her goose. “Mom always kisses her good night.”
Grabbing her gently—because I don’t want to get on her bad side—I drop a peck on her beak. “Night, Strawberry. Sweet dreams. What does Strawberry even dream about?”
“Playing with me.”
“Right.”
I tuck the two of them in, pulling her pink comforter up to her chin. Shutting off her light, I head out to the living room and crash on the couch.
Holy shit. I didn’t even do that much with her but I’m exhausted. Maybe it’s because I worked at the ranch all day, or the sheer fear of screwing shit up with Poppy, but my body sags in relief that I made it through the night.
I have no idea what time it is until the couch shifts next to me.
“Hey.”
Stirring awake, I find Presley sitting next to me. “Did I fall asleep?”
“Yeah.” She smiles, nodding at me. “How’d tonight go?”
“Eye-opening.”
“Yeah? Did you learn anything?”
“Logic doesn’t exist with toddlers.”
“She’s not—”
“I know.” I hold up my hand, interrupting her. “I was told she’s a big kid because she’s five.”
She snickers. “I’m sorry she was such a handful.”
“I mean, it really wasn’t that bad.”
“It does mean she likes you.” Presley smiles down at me.
“Really?”
She nods. “She pushes back on those she likes.”
“Then she must love me after I got us pizza.”
“What happened to macaroni?”
“I got the wrong kind.” I shake my head. “I thought it would be okay.”
“Was she at least excited for tomorrow?”
“She is.” I nod. “I got one thing right.”
Presley brushes a loose lock of hair out of my face. “I’m glad you got to spend some more time with her on your own.”
I stare up into her blue eyes, getting completely lost. We’ve only been together one time since I’ve been back, but I already know it won’t be enough. No amount of time will ever make up for what we lost, but getting to be with her now? I’ll take whatever I can get.
“Think I can convince you to let me stay awhile?” I ask Presley, burrowing into her side. She smells like the diner, but I don’t care. I’m exhausted and all I want is to stay right here.
“I’ll always let you stay, Kade.”