Chapter 3
3
Brylee
Miles’ bar is a refuge for those seeking solace within its walls. I perch on a stool at the bar, eyes scanning the room. At least if I am here drinking, I’ll have company. Soft jazz plays in the background because Miles wanted this to be a different kind of bar. People seem to love it since the place is always pretty packed.
I should be at the bookstore going through inventory and getting caught up on bills and mail, but a sprite and vodka won. Miles didn’t kick me out when I walked in, so he must not still be pissed at me for leaving, but I doubt I will get that lucky with Leo. Will Miles tell him I came by tonight?
“Hey, how about another round?” Miles asks, leaning over the bar with his signature playful grin. His broad build and short dark hair make him appear more intimidating than he truly is, but those who know him understand beneath his rough exterior lays a loyal friend and reliable confidant.
“Sure, why not?” I force a smile, attempting to mask the vulnerability. “It’s not like I have anywhere better to be tonight.” I try not to let my weakness show, but I’m sure it’s written all of my face. I expect him to ask me where I’ve been or what brought me back, but nothing. It’s a welcome respite.
“Good to have you back.” Miles pours my vodka, double shot, and hands it to me. “You’ve been missed around here.”
“Looks like I still have some friends in this town. I wasn’t sure what I’d be coming back to.” I swirl the vodka around the glass like it’s holding the secret to my life hostage. “Everyone here knows about my unexpected exit, it’s embarrassing.” Sure, the whispers from the town gossipers aren’t new, but it didn’t make it any less annoying.
“Speaking of old friends,” Miles says, nodding towards the door to reveal Leo Harrison. The tall, handsome man with short dark hair and warm brown eyes. My mouth falls open, and blink slowly. No, I’m not ready to talk to him. Ugh. I should have known better than to come to this place. Should I try to make a run for it? An empty feeling settles in the pit of my stomach.
I watch Leo approach the bar, his confident stride stirring memories I have tried so hard to suppress. Did he still harbor resentment over our past, or has time washed away the pain and left only indifference in its wake?
“Hey there, stranger.” He takes a seat next to me at the bar, his presence both thrilling and terrifying.
“Hi.” I should ask about his life and what he’s been up to since we last saw each other, but the words are lodged in my throat, too heavy to speak. My chest tightens and I replay the day I left him in my mind. I wish there was a way to go back and change what happened.
“Long time, no see,” Miles chimes in, pouring Leo a beer with no need to be asked. “You two have some catching up to do, huh?”
“Seems that way, doesn’t it?” Leo says, his eyes never leaving my face, as if searching for something he lost long ago.
The air in the bar seems to be sucked out as we lock eyes, the past colliding with the present like a storm on the horizon. I try not to make direct eye contact because right now I’m at a loss for words, and this is inevitable.
“Cheers,” Leo says, raising his glass toward me before taking a slow sip. His eyes never leave mine, as if asking questions he didn’t dare to voice aloud.
I take a deep breath, willing myself to relax. If we are going to have this reunion, I need to face it head-on, no matter how much it frightens me. I search for something neutral to say, hoping to ease the tension. Every hair on my body is standing at attention.
“Five years,” I finally say, giving him a small smile. “It’s been quite a while, huh?”
“Has it really been that long?” Leo asks as he runs his hand through his dark hair, a gesture I remember all too well from our time together. His nervous tick. “Feels like yesterday.”
“Time flies.” My heart twists at the memory of our parting.
“Sure does.” His eyes assume a faraway look as if he, too, lost himself in the past. The silence between us grows heavy, charged with unspoken emotions and lingering regrets.
“Bar’s gotten busier since I was last here,” I comment, grasping for something to break the spell that seems to have fallen over us.
“Word got around about Miles’ famous cocktails.” His lips quirking up in a half-smile. “It’s become quite the hotspot.”
“Good for him.”
“Hey, that song we used to dance to is playing,” Leo says. The sultry rhythm of our favorite tune from years ago is drifting through the air, weaving its magic around us once again.
“Seems like the universe is conspiring against us.” My breathing hitches as memories of our tangled limbs and passionate embraces come flooding back.
“Or maybe it’s trying to tell us something.” His intense gaze holds mine captive, making me feel as if we are the only two people in the room. Our chemistry has never been the issue.
“Maybe.” Fate is a nasty bitch, reopening old wounds that never quite healed. But whether the outcome will be heartbreak or healing is anyone’s guess.
“Um, so, how have you been?” My fingers fidget with the hem of my blouse.
“Good.” His hands find their way into his pockets, distancing himself. “And you?”
“Can’t complain.” My heart aches. This is what we’ve become—two strangers exchanging pleasantries. Not after everything we have been through.
“I never understood why you left, Brylee.”
“Not here, please.” I cast a nervous glance around the bar. But we can’t avoid the conversation.
“Come on, it’s been eating away at me all this time. One day we were inseparable, and the next, you were gone.”
“Is that what you think?” I shoot back, green eyes blazing. “That I up and left for no reason? You never even tried to reach out to me, Leo!”
“Because you made it quite clear you didn’t want me in your life anymore!” His voice grows louder and his eyes darken.
“Maybe I was trying to protect myself,” I whisper, my eyes glistening with unshed tears. “Maybe leaving was the only way to save us both from the inevitable heartache.”
“God, Brylee,” Leo exhales, his anger deflating as quickly as it flares up. “You didn’t have to go through all that alone. We could have figured it out together.”
“Could we have?” My chest aches with the weight of regrets and the lingering love for the man standing before me.
“Look, I...” Leo starts, his voice struggling to be heard above the noise.
“Can’t we drop it?” I plead, eyes darting between the other patrons after our heated exchange.
“Fine,” he agrees, taking a deep breath to calm himself. “But we need to talk about this properly at some point.”
“Fine.” I glance around, trying to focus on something else, anything to avoid the intensity of Leo’s gaze. The taste of the drink goes sour on my tongue, and I can’t shake the sensation of being trapped.
A group of friends nearby clink their glasses together, laughing raucously as they down their shots. Some glance over at us, curiosity tugging at their features before returning to their own conversations. Others seems oblivious to the tension brewing.
“Hey, guys!” Miles calls out from behind the bar. “Come on over here and let me get you another round.”
I hesitate, exchanging an uncertain look with Leo before we make our way over. As we approach, Candace walks in chatting with Nina, Leo’s sister, near the entrance. They seem unaware of the confrontation that took place. Thank god.
“Thanks, Miles,” I murmur, attempting a grateful smile as he hands me a fresh drink. I take small sips, trying to steady myself. Alcohol is a must if we are going to be in the same room.
“Everything okay between you two?” he whispers, his eyes flicking to Leo, who is now leaning against the bar, nursing his own drink.
“Everything’s fine. Just...catching up.”
“Alright. You know where I am if you need anything.”
“Appreciate it.”
My gaze flicks to Leo, who is staring into his drink as if searching for answers. He is wound up like a spring, his jaw locked and a muscle spasming in his cheek as he swirls the amber liquid around the glass. The heat is radiating off him, a palpable force seeming to draw me in despite the best efforts to resist.
Why did things have to be so unnecessarily complex? My heart aches with longing for the man I once loved so fiercely. But we both changed, and the chasm between us seems insurmountable.
“Leo,” I whisper. “I’m sorry I yelled at you. Things have changed since you last saw me.”
He glances at me, his warm brown eyes darken with hurt that hasn’t healed. “What’s there to say?” His voice is low, controlled, but the anger simmered beneath the surface. “You left without an explanation. You can’t even give me that?”
“I-I had my reasons.” My eyes drop to the floor, unable to meet his penetrating gaze any longer.
“Did you?” Leo challenges, taking a step closer. “Or did you get tired of playing house with me?”
“That’s not fair!”
“Isn’t it?” he shoots back. “Five years. Five years I spent wondering what I did wrong, how I could have stopped you from walking out the door...”
The pain in my chest grows tighter, my constant companion since leaving. I take a deep breath, searching for the right words to fix everything. Yet, they remain frustratingly elusive, concealed by the barriers I have put up around my heart.
“I’m... I’m so sorry.” Tears fill my eyes. “I never meant to hurt you.”
“Sorry changes nothing.”
“Then what do you want from me?” I ask, feeling as though I am drowning in the weight of our past.
“I don’t know. You broke me. How am I supposed to open myself up to anyone if the one person I thought would never leave me, did?”
For a brief moment, we remain motionless. Leo’s eyes, warm and brown, hold a clouded pain as I anxiously look for even a flicker of hope. My fists tighten by my sides.
I choose my words carefully. “After all the years we’ve known each other - we both deserve some closure. I agree with that. I just don’t want to talk about it here with an audience.”
“Agreed. Lawson Ridge isn’t big enough for either of us to hold a grudge. Can I walk you home?” Leo asks.
I ponder his offer. Despite my usual guarded nature, I find myself craving the comfort of his presence, not wanting the night to end yet. “I’d like that.”
Exiting into the evening, we are greeted by the moon’s silver glow. Walking together in silence, the distant chirping of cicadas in the still night took over.
“Why did you leave Lawson Ridge? I guess I’m trying to understand you better... and maybe address some of the weight of my past decisions. Why you left so suddenly…”
Looking away from him, my fingers played with the strap of my purse. I hesitate, thinking about what parts of my past to reveal. There is a quality in Leo’s genuine concern that makes me inclined to trust him. “Leaving wasn’t a simple decision,” I admit, gaze fixes on the sidewalk ahead. “There were… complications. I needed to figure out who I was and what I wanted in life. And I couldn’t do that here.”
Leo stops. “But you didn’t even talk to me. You just left me behind. What complications? I had to have done something to push you away.”
“My childhood wasn’t exactly a walk in the park. My father... he had a lot of demons. And they haunted our family like ghosts.” With hesitant steps, we meander down the calm street. “He was never really around, you know? Always too busy chasing one vice or another. And when he was home... well, let’s say it wasn’t all sunshine and roses.”
Life during that time was less than ideal. It messed with my mental state. Leo should be able to understand. I opened myself up to him in a way that was completely new to me. Can’t he see?