Chapter Fourteen
January
T hen (Age Eighteen)
"I think I have the plague," Mariah mumbles and then coughs loudly.
"You sound like you have the plague," I tell her, setting my cell phone on the counter so I can pull my hair up into a ponytail. "You should stay home tonight. I love you and all, but I don't want whatever you've got."
"You won't be upset if I'm not there?" she asks me, clearly worried.
"I'll miss you, but we can always do something when you're feeling better. Besides, it'll just be family here, so it's not like you're going to miss some wild party or anything," I remind her. Mom asked if I wanted a big party for my eighteenth birthday, but I just want to spend it with the people who matter the most to me. Even Titan promised to show up for once. I hope he doesn't blow me off.
He does that all the time…tells me that he'll do something with me and then doesn't show up. If it wasn't for Cade stepping in to fill the void every single time, I'd be heartbroken. Instead, I'm just annoyed and disappointed. I love my brother like crazy, but it feels like the only person he cares about is himself.
He and Cade barely even speak anymore. When they do, the conversation is always tense and strained. I know the distance hurts Titan as much as it hurts Cade, but he's too stubborn to apologize for whatever he did to piss Cade off so badly.
Cade won't tell me what happened. He just tells me not to worry about it and that Titan will get his head out of his ass eventually. I'm not even sure if he believes that when he says it. He can't hide the worry and guilt in his eyes, like maybe he's thinking Titan is a lost cause now and feels bad for thinking it.
I just want my brother back from whatever stranger possessed his body. He hasn't been the same since right after Ma Lucia died. The last two years have been hell. But I still love him. He's still my brother. I want him to be happy and for things to be like they used to be between the three of us.
"It's a date," Mariah promises and then starts coughing.
"Go take some drugs and get some sleep. Love you!" I tell her.
"Love you too. Happy birthday, January."
I hang up the phone and swipe some gloss on my lips. Before I'm finished, the doorbell rings. Laughing to myself over the fact that Cade still rings the bell after all these years instead of just coming inside, I hurry out of the bathroom to answer the door.
"Happy birthday, little monster," he says, grinning at me when I fling it open. He's so handsome, with his dark blond hair falling over his forehead and his blue-gray eyes shining. The crooked smile on his face and those dimples tug at my heart and send heat flooding through me.
I jump up into his arms and wrap my legs around him.
He catches me with his hands on my ass and stumbles through the front door before kicking it closed behind him. Half a second later, he pins me to it and kisses me hard.
I moan into his mouth, wiggling against him. He grunts and then grinds me down on his cock. He's hard already. I think he stays that way when we're together.
I love it.
"I missed you," I whisper, kissing and biting his neck.
"Fuck," he mumbles and bucks his hips into mine, putting pressure right where I need it most.
My head falls back against the door. A loud moan breaks from my lips as a bolt of pleasure shoots through me. It feels so good.
Sex with Cade is incredible, but I always get the sense he's holding back a little bit. Like he's afraid he's going to push me too far or ask for more than I'm ready to give him. What he doesn't know, though, is that I'd give him anything and probably love every minute of it. I feel safe with him. When I'm in his arms, I don't think about what Tony Black tried to do to me. All I think about is Cade and how good he makes me feel.
"You want my cock, baby girl?" he asks against my throat, grinding me down on him.
"Yes, please," I beg, digging my nails into his shoulders.
"Wrap those sexy legs around me and hold on," he mumbles and then pushes away from the door.
I wrap my body around his as instructed and hold on tight as he flips the lock on the door and then carries me to my bedroom. He drops me down on the bed and then pulls his shirt off over his head.
"Cade," I gasp, pushing myself up to a seated position to stare at the tattoo across his side. It's two wavy lines with Roman numerals etched in bold black script right beneath.
"You like it?" he asks, grinning at me. He steps closer to the bed, allowing me to run my fingertips along the ink. The bold color stands out on his skin. It's still a little red, but the black ink is sexy as hell.
"It's my sign," I whisper when I realize the lines are the Aquarius symbol and the Roman numerals beneath mean twenty-four…the day I was born.
"Now you're always with me," he says, reaching out to tug on my ponytail. He smiles at me and then drops to his knees in front of me. His hand disappears into his pocket only to reappear a second later with a small jewelry box, which sends my heart into overdrive.
"I was going to give this to you later, but I'm thinking you should have it now," he says, looking me in the eyes.
My hands shake when he pops it open and slips out a ring. It's a gorgeous platinum band with a heart-shaped emerald. The gemstone is surrounded by a delicate pair of hands, with a crown nestled over the top. A small diamond rests in the center. It's beautiful.
"You ever see a Claddagh ring before?" he asks me, reaching for my right hand and slipping it onto my ring finger.
I shake my head.
"A Claddagh ring is an Irish ring. The hands symbolize friendship, the crown represents loyalty, and the heart symbolizes love," he says, running a fingertip over each part of the ring as he tells me about them. "Worn like this, on the right hand, with the point of the heart facing the wrist, it means you're taken."
Before I can tell him that I love it, he slides it off my finger and grasps my left hand.
"But I'm thinking it'd look better right here," he says, sliding it onto my left ring finger with the point of the heart facing my fingertips. Intense satisfaction flares in his eyes, turning them that stormy gray color I love so much.
"What does it mean this way?" I whisper, my heart in my throat at seeing the possessive look in his eyes with his ring on my finger. He told me he would put a ring on my finger one day. I just didn't expect it to be now. Holy crap.
"It means you're engaged," he whispers back, shifting his gaze from my hand to my face. "I'm not gonna ask you, though, baby girl. When you're ready, you're going to marry me. I know you are."
"You do, huh?"
He nods, his expression so solemn and serious. "I refuse to believe there's a future for us that doesn't end with you tying your life to mine. That's how this thing between us was always meant to be, January. You were meant to be mine, and I was meant to be yours. We belong together. We always have." He leans down and presses a kiss to my ring before sliding his mouth over mine in a sweet little kiss. "I'll be the best fucking husband, little monster. You'll never want for anything."
"I want something now," I whisper against his lips, twining my arms around his neck.
"What?"
"You. I want you."
He groans long and low, then pushes me gently until I'm sprawled on the bed beneath him, a big smile on my face. He runs his hands up my legs, parting my thighs and pushing the material of my skirt up as he goes. His eyes are locked on the flesh of my thighs as he exposes them.
"Did you wear this pretty skirt for me, baby girl?" he asks, wrapping his hands around my thighs. He's so much bigger than me, so much harder. But he touches me like I'm priceless.
I don't feel small or fragile with him, though. I feel powerful, like the strongest woman in the world. The devotion and need flaring in his blue-gray eyes tells me louder than any words ever could that he needs me…aches for me. He's always looked at me like that, but it's brighter now, blazing like the sun.
"Yes," I whisper, licking my lips when he fans his hands open so his pinkies come to rest against the apex of my thighs. They brush across the bottom edge of my panties.
"You going to let me eat you before you ride my cock?" he asks, his voice deep and low, hungry…like he's already imagining my taste on his tongue.
The thought makes me squirm beneath him. So do the dirty words rolling from his lips in that decadent whisper.
He's good at the dirty talk. Hearing him say the things he does gets me so hot. Those words coming from his lips aren't obscene or offensive. They're sexy as hell.
"Yes," I whisper again. "Please, Cade. I need you."
He groans and leans forward, burying his face between my thighs.
I clutch the comforter and moan when he presses his nose to the seam of my panties and inhales deeply.
"Christ, you smell so damn good. My mouth is watering, baby girl." He puts his mouth over my panties, licking at the wet spot I know is there.
I feel like I'm always wet when he's around. Once we started having sex a couple of months before I turned seventeen, I think I became addicted to it. I want it all the time with him.
"Cade," I whisper and wiggle beneath him, trying to hurry him along.
He turns his head and nips at my inner thigh, pulling another loud moan from me. The sensation shoots straight to my clit. Everything inside me melts into a little puddle of desire for him.
"You're so wet, January," he mutters like he's surprised at how much I want him. "Don't beg me. You know I'll give you anything you want. I'll take care of you." He pulls my panties to the side and lunges.
I moan and arch my hips as his tongue swipes through my folds. My eyes fall closed, and I open my legs wider, making more room for him between them. He grunts and growls against my pussy, using one hand to hold me open as he eats me.
"So good," he moans and then slides two fingers inside and curls them up to stroke my G-spot.
I cry out his name as my body ignites. My orgasm rushes through me hard and fast, leaving me gasping. Stars burst behind my eyelids like fireworks crackling in the night sky.
When I finally come down, he's stripped us both naked. He's on the bed beside me, his cock standing straight up. He's so big. I don't know how we fit together, but we do. I think we really were made for one another.
"Come here," he murmurs, lifting me to straddle him. He sits up, too, wrapping his arms around me to keep me close. He tilts his head to mine, sealing our lips together as I slide down his length until he's all the way inside me. He moans then, my name a little rumble at my lips.
I throw my head back and revel in the feeling of having him inside me. I'm so full of him. With his big body wrapped around mine, I feel completely engulfed by him. I could stay like this with him forever and die happy.
"Ride me, little monster," he groans, tipping his head down to watch me move.
I ride him slowly, rising up and sinking back down. His cock drags against my inner walls, making us both moan loudly. My hands dig into his shoulders. I use them to brace myself and then start to move faster, rocking and circling my hips. He clamps his hands down on my hips to help guide me up and down.
His eyes lock between my legs, watching as he disappears inside me over and over.
"Fuck, you look good taking my cock," he mutters, pressing his thumb to my clit. "You're stretched around me so wide. I bet you feel full, don't you?"
"Yes," I moan, rocking above him. "I'm so full, Cade."
He leans forward and sucks my nipple into his mouth before biting down.
I ride him harder, faster as pleasure twists through me, hitting all those spots deep inside that make me see stars. There's nothing better than being with him like this.
I moan and whimper, nonsense bubbling out of my lips as he makes love to me. Even though I'm on top, he's in charge. He bucks up beneath me and uses his hands on my body to grind me down onto him every time I take him all the way.
The pleasure is too much, too good.
"Please," I gasp, writhing without rhythm as another orgasm rears up.
"Let go, baby girl. Come for me," he demands, moving from breast to breast to lick and suck on my nipples. His thumb runs in circles around my clit. He uses his other hand to lift me off him and then drop me back down, making me ride him at the speed he wants.
Chills break out on my body, and his name leaves my lips in a loud cry. My body unravels above him, an intense orgasm spinning me out of this dimension and into another. I float there, so twisted up with pleasure that the entire world disappears around us.
"January," he moans loudly as he comes too. He holds me down on him and thrusts upward, spilling into me over and over. "Fuck, baby girl. I love you."
I slump against him, letting him cuddle me as we both come down. His skin is slick with sweat, his heart pounding against my breasts. Tears pool in my eyes. I feel so close to him. I never want this feeling to end.
"I will marry you," I whisper into his throat. "It's what I want more than anything."
His cock jerks inside me at my words, and he moans softly. "I'll make you so happy. You'll never regret being mine. Not even for a second."
"I love your tattoo."
He pushes backward on the bed until his back is against the headboard. Even then, he doesn't separate from me. Instead, he wraps his arms around me and pulls the blankets up over us, kissing my shoulders and the side of my throat. "I'm glad you like it. I wanted to be able to carry you with me, just like you'll carry me with you now that you have my ring on your finger."
"I love you, Cade."
"I love you too, baby girl."
When Titan comes home a little bit later, Cade and I are just coming out of the bedroom. I avert my gaze when my brother stops in the hallway to stare at the two of us. My cheeks heat, and I know he can tell we were in there having sex. He probably knows by now that I haven't been a virgin for a long time, but I prefer not to wave that fact in his face. Especially when things are already so strained between him and Cade.
"Hey," he mutters to us.
"Hey," I mumble back to him, reaching for Cade's hand.
Titan glances between the two of us before his eyes land on the ring on my finger.
I think about yanking my hand back to hide it from him but decide I'm not going to do that. He doesn't have to like that I'm wearing Cade's ring, but he's just going to have to get used to it. I'm going to marry Cade whether Titan likes it or not.
"You gave her a ring?" he asks, looking at Cade.
Cade clenches his jaw and then nods, not speaking.
Something flickers through Titan's green eyes. For a second, he appears lost, like he's completely alone in the world. The sight makes my heart ache for him. But before I can say anything to ease his pain, that lost look vanishes, and determination fills his gaze.
"Can we talk?" he asks Cade, running a hand down his face.
Cade stands there silently for a second and then sighs. "Fine." He turns to me and tucks a piece of hair behind my ear. "Go get ready for your party, baby girl. I'm going to go outside and talk to Titan for a minute."
I frown up at him and then over at Titan. "You two better not get into a fight on my birthday," I warn them, though I'm speaking more to Titan than Cade because I know Cade would never take a swing at Titan first. I'm not so sure about my brother though. I barely know him anymore. "If you fight, I'll never speak to you again."
"I'm not trying to fight with him, January," Titan promises me, holding up his hands. He actually seems hurt that I think he'd do something like that. "I may be an asshole, but I'd never ruin your birthday."
"You better not," I mutter, releasing my grip on Cade's hand to step around him.
Titan stops me with a hand on my arm.
"What?" I ask him.
He opens his mouth and then closes it, pulling me in for a hug. He holds me to his chest for a long moment, tucking my head beneath his chin. I'm so surprised by his display of affection that it takes me a second to hug him back.
"I hope you know I love you, and I'm proud of you," he whispers, his voice gruff. "And I'm sorry I've been such an asshole. Happy birthday, sis."
"I…. Thank you," I mumble.
He hugs me for another second and then lets me go before turning on his heels and heading for the front door. I watch him go, not sure what's going on with him.
"Go get ready, baby girl," Cade says, stepping up beside me to kiss me on the cheek.
"Okay," I mumble, watching as he follows my brother outside and shuts the door behind him. A big part of me wants to run over to the front door and press my ear to the heavy wood to listen to what they're saying. It's been so long since they've had an actual conversation. I'm dying to know what Titan has to say to him now. But I don't do that.
Instead, I send up a little prayer that they're finally going to start being friends again…and then I go get ready for my birthday party like the adult I finally am.