Chapter 18
Keaton
I woke up before my alarm and paused for a moment. Rowan was behind me, one arm draped over my waist, his chest pressed against my back, and his leg loosely hooked over mine, as if he never planned to let me go.
My throat went dry.
For years, I’d shoved away memories of him, pretended he didn’t matter anymore, and convinced myself I’d moved on. Now he was in my bed, breathing against my neck like no time had passed between us.
What had happened last night felt almost too easy, which left a knot of uncertainty in my chest. Had I forgiven him too quickly?
Was pursuing something with him a good idea or just setting me up to get hurt again?
I’d never been one to shy away from taking risks, but I wasn’t sure if the possibility of getting my heart broken again was worth the pain.
His fingers flexed against my abs, and I stayed still.
“You awake?” His breath brushed against my skin.
I exhaled slowly. “Yeah.”
His nose nudged the back of my neck, and I felt his lips trailing along the sensitive skin there.
He pressed his lips to the spot between my shoulder blades. “Don’t move. I want to stay like this for a little bit longer.”
A small smile tugged at my mouth. “Look at you being all sweet and shit.”
His arm tightened a little around me, pulling me closer, and for a moment, we just lay there together. But it only took seconds for my brain to start working overtime again. I shifted a bit, and his grip loosened just enough for me to turn onto my back.
Rowan propped himself up on one elbow, his eyes still heavy with sleep. He looked different like that—less guarded than he’d been since he first walked into Titan Elite. This was more like the guy I used to know.
“Everything okay?” he asked quietly.
I huffed out a small breath. “Yeah.”
He studied me for another second, as if he didn’t fully believe what I said but didn’t push for anything more.
I dragged a hand over my face. “There’s something we need to talk about.”
His brows pulled together. “Yeah?”
I stared at the ceiling for a second, trying to figure out how to phrase it without making it sound like I was backing out of everything we’d talked about the night before.
Because I wasn’t.
“I meant what I said last night,” I started. “About everything.”
His expression softened. “Okay.”
I turned my head to look at him. “When you said you didn’t want to hide me, that meant the world to me. You finally said the words I’d wanted to hear years ago.”
He exhaled slowly. “I should’ve done it that night.”
“Yeah.” I didn’t sugarcoat it. “You should’ve.”
He didn’t flinch or argue.
“But this is different,” I added.
He tilted his head. “Different how?”
I pushed myself up. “Because this time, it’s my call too.”
He sat up as well, close but not touching me.
“I’ve been living here. Training here. These guys”—I gestured vaguely toward the rest of the house—“they don’t know shit about me. Not like that.”
“You mean about you being gay?”
“Yeah.”
“You think they’d care?” he questioned.
I shrugged. “I’m not sure, and it doesn’t really matter. What matters is I haven’t had to deal with it yet, and I’m not sure I’m ready for all of that just because we hooked up.”
He balked. “It was more than just hooking up.”
A frown crossed my face. I didn’t mean to downplay what had happened. “You’re right. It’s definitely more than that. I just need a little time to wrap my head around everything.”
“You’re not regretting anything though, right?”
I could understand why he might be worried about that. We’d gone from barely speaking to each other to declarations of love in what some might see as a short amount of time. But I’d fallen for Rowan Cross years ago, so it didn’t feel like a sudden change to me.
“No. That’s not what this is. I spent four years pissed off at you for making me feel like I only mattered when no one was looking.
I’m not about to turn around and do that to you,” I explained.
“But neither of us got a say when that asshole walked in on us. This time, I want going public to be on our terms.”
He nodded slowly. “That’s fair.”
Relief flowed through me, and I was glad I hadn’t completely fucked this up. “Besides, sneaking around with you was always fun,” I teased with a wink.
He laughed. “True. Although, trying to keep you quiet was a challenge.”
I snorted. “Like I was the only one.”
He scooted closer and reached for my hand. “We’ll take it at your pace. Whatever you need.”
“And you’re okay with that?” I asked, needing the reassurance.
“Yeah.” I sensed no hesitation on his part. “I already know what it feels like to do the wrong thing and lose you. I’m not doing that again.”
“Good.”
We were silent for a few moments, but then my thoughts drifted back to the night before and what he’d said.
You’re the only one I’ve ever…
That was still hard to believe.
In the four years since our relationship had imploded, he had never gotten with anyone else. A part of me felt guilty because I knew what I’d done during that same time.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Anything,” he replied.
“You really didn’t get with anyone else?”
His gaze didn’t waver. “No.”
I shook my head a little, more to myself than anything. “That’s wild.”
“I can see why you’d think so.”
“Why didn’t you?” I needed to hear his reason again when we weren’t in the middle of a highly intense situation.
“Because nobody else felt right,” he said simply.
That was the same reason he’d given last night, which made it easier to believe his apology and his claim to still love me.
He hadn’t replaced me or even tried to.
But I had.
My stomach twisted.
I hadn’t told him that part, and now it felt like something remained unsaid between us that I’d likely need to come clean about.
I frowned.
“Hey, you don’t have to look like that,” he stated.
“Like what?”
“Like you’re trying to figure out if I’m lying.”
I scoffed under my breath. “I don’t think you’re lying.”
“Then what?”
“It’s nothing. I just think the shock hasn’t worn off yet.”
He didn’t push, but I could tell he knew I was leaving something out. And I hated it. Hated that we were finally here, finally being honest, and I was still holding something back.
But how could I explain that since I couldn’t have him during the years we were apart, I’d had plenty of other people? That wasn’t something to bring up during a morning-after conversation. Not when everything still felt new.
“I’ve gotta get up.” I climbed out of bed.
“But we don’t need to be at the gym yet.”
“Gotta meet with Devon.” I picked up a pair of sweats from the floor. “He’s going to be pissed that I didn’t talk to him yesterday.”
“Everyone seemed to be in a mood yesterday,” he noted.
I pulled on a shirt, then glanced back at him. He was sitting on the bed, the sheet low on his hips, looking like something I shouldn’t be allowed to have. “Can you do me a favor?”
He shrugged. “Sure. What is it?”
“Take it easy on me today during grappling. I’m a little sore after last night.” With that, I went into the bathroom to get ready.
Devon was in his office when I got there. The door was open, so I stepped inside. “You wanted to see me?”
He appeared unimpressed by the interruption. “Yeah, I did. Yesterday.”
“Well, yesterday wasn’t good for me.”
His jaw ticked. “That’s not how this works, Keaton.”
I propped myself against the wall. “Something came up, but I’m here now.”
His eyes narrowed. “You get away with a lot more than the other guys, but don’t think just because I go easy on you—”
My shoulders tensed. “Go easy on me? What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means I’ve cut you some slack,” he replied. “And you know why, but you can’t take advantage of it this time.”
I did know why he didn’t come down as hard on me as he did with some of the other guys. He may have agreed to keep things professional when I joined his gym, but he’d made it clear plenty of times since then that if I wanted to hook up again, he’d be down.
I nodded. “Message received. I’ll try to rein it in. Was that all you wanted to talk about?”
He shook his head. “Have things between you and Rowan calmed down?”
He tried to sound casual, but I could read between the lines. “Yeah. Everything’s chill now.”
“So, I don’t need to fix anything in the rental from you two fighting?” he questioned with a grin.
“Nah. We agreed to let our issues go.”
“It’s none of my business, but what were those issues?”
“Just some high school bullshit,” I lied, not wanting to tell him anything more.
“As long as that’s all behind you, I guess we don’t have anything to worry about. Now for the real reason I called you in here. I just got word about an event down in Los Angeles in a few months. Several sports agents will be there scouting for new talent.”
“Like legit agents?”
“Yeah,” he confirmed. “Not just local promoters. These are guys with real connections, contracts, sponsorships. People who can actually move your career forward.”
My pulse kicked up a notch. That was the kind of opportunity I’d been working for since I’d walked into Titan Elite.
“Okay,” I said slowly. “What do I need to do?”
Devon leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. “I’m not taking the whole team, just the fighters who are ready or close enough that it makes sense to get them in front of the right people.”
“And who are you thinking?”
A smirk pulled at his mouth. “You and Rowan are both on that list.”
“Really?” I asked, keeping my tone neutral.
“Yeah.” He didn’t look away. “You two have different styles and strengths, but you’re both in that same tier right now.”
It was nice knowing that he saw enough potential to consider me for such an opportunity. “Thanks, I really appreciate it.”
“I’m not handing you anything,” he added. “You still have to earn it.”
“I wouldn’t want it any other way.”
I turned to leave, but he stopped me. “Just a word of advice before you go. If something’s pulling your focus, you need to figure out what matters more. These opportunities don’t come around often.”