Chapter 3
Kieran
COACH ANDERSON
hope everything is all right Ashford
call me when you get a chance
Perched on the veranda steps, side by side with Grayson, we peer down at his backyard, watching as Emmy comes to life for the first time since I saw her crying at the foster home.
Bella, Bambi, and Emmy all frolic in the yard, but more so Emmy and Bambi; Bella has become a third wheel almost. She’s tried everything to coax even so much as a laugh from Emmy but her lips are sealed like a vault.
Although Bambi, who hasn’t left my daughter’s side since she set her doggy gaze on her, has managed to pull out a small timid smile.
The breath was completely knocked from my lungs when I saw it, and I was flooded with the primal urge to do everything in my power to make it happen again.
“She was found beside her, Grayson,” I mutter. “She sat with her dead mother for God knows how long.” My voice cracks as I add, “They think it was four days.”
Grayson is quiet beside me. Let’s face it, what the fuck do you even say to that?
“I have no idea what I’m doing. I have no family to give her…no one, Grayson. I am utterly alone. She’s as good as an orphan.”
Grayson’s head whips to me. “You have us, Kieran. We’re your family.
” The conviction in his tone makes me lift my gaze to his.
“Me, Bella, and the team. Not to mention my parents. My mom will be heartbroken over Emmy’s story but you know what she’s like, she’ll be claiming Emmy is her grandbaby the moment she finds out about her. ”
I take my hat off my head and run my fingers through my hair, then put the cap on backwards. “Of course you’re all my family but…you know what I mean.”
He shakes his head. “No, I don’t. You have a family; you have since the day we met. I’m your brother, regardless that we don’t have the same blood, and I know Drew would be saying the exact same thing right now if he were here.”
The reminder of Drew sends a pang through my chest. Fuck do I wish that funny bastard was here right now giving me shit over this and lightening the mood.
I allow Grayson, the only one in this world I’ve ever felt comfortable with, to see my vulnerability as I whisper gutturally, “What if I’m not enough? What if I fuck up? Grayson, I don’t want her to have the same childhood I had. It would crush me if I were the very thing to destroy her.”
Grayson’s hand lands on my shoulder. “The fact that you’re so concerned that you’re going to upset her or fuck up is already proving that you’re the right person for her.
You care, Kieran, and that’s more than any of the supposed parental figures in your life did.
” He blows out a breath. “And I’m sorry to say, but you absolutely will fuck up. ”
His hands rise in surrender at the look I give him.
“All parents do. Even my sweet angel of a mom can say and do the wrong thing sometimes because she’s human. It would be unnatural if you randomly got handed a child and suddenly knew exactly what to do.”
“So you’re saying I’m for sure going to fuck up my kid’s head?” I scoff. “Thanks for the vote of confidence, Cap.”
Grayson rolls his eyes. “You know what I mean. Case in point, I said the wrong thing despite my great intentions.”
My stomach sinks. “I’m fucked.”
“No, you’re not. I’ll have my mom come over and help, give a crash course on parenting, and Bella and I are here—”
I snort out a laugh. “Yeah, about that…—” I drop my head back with a groan. “You’re going to think I’m crazy. I bought the house across the street.”
“You what?” He sputters out a surprised laugh. “When the hell did you do that?”
“This afternoon.”
“You don’t do shit half-assed, do you, Ashford?”
I look down at the yard, watching Emmy chase Bambi around a tree. “It seems I don’t.”
We fall into a comfortable silence, the weight of my new reality weighing upon both our shoulders. Because Grayson’s right, we are brothers in every sense of the word. What happens to me happens to him as well.
“She’s very cute. She looks exactly like you.”
My lip twitches, daring to lift into a smile. “You think?”
He nods, his gaze transfixed on Bella as she squeals with laughter as Bambi tackles her, shortly followed by a timid Emmy. “Yeah, she has honestly everything but your eyes.”
“The Ashford eyes,” I murmur, a flash of my mom invading my mind.
Thank God Emmy doesn’t have my eyes. It’s hard enough as it is looking in the mirror and seeing my mother.
“My life will never be the same again,” I admit quietly, so quietly I’m afraid Grayson didn’t hear me and I’ll have to say it again.
To say that is selfish, I know, considering Emmy was found sitting beside her dead mother and here I am worried that my life has irrevocably changed. Hers did that day too.
But Grayson just nods. “It’s realistic and true and I’m sorry that it happened this way without any time for you to prepare.”
I shrug despite the heaviness of the topic. “I have to be honest, though, I have a feeling I won’t mind. It’s just…”
“Scary,” he offers for me.
I dip my chin. “Extremely.”
Bella picks Emmy up and as they head our way, I quickly turn to Grayson and I swear to him and myself, “I will give her the life I never got, and I’ll do everything in my power to make it a good one.”
He searches my eyes before giving me that famous Crawford dimpled smile. “I never doubted for a second that you wouldn’t.”
Bella’s slightly out of breath as she ambles up the deck stairs with Emmy on her hip. It’s the first time since the foster home that Emmy has been able to assess me from afar and she does just that.
She’s got extremely inquisitive eyes.
We have more in common than just our looks and genetics, and it fucking crushes my heart and soul to know that we relate to instantly assessing those around us for danger.
I hold my hands out for her before I can even think, the move coming as natural as breathing, and Emmy topples forward until I catch her, something in my chest settling as she lays her cheek against my shoulder, her arms wrapping around me.
“First order of business is food,” Bella announces, already making her way through the back deck doors with Bambi hot on her heels. Grayson and I stand, trailing behind her into the kitchen as she calls over her shoulder, “Then we need to figure out who’s going to watch her while you work.”
A frown settles deep into my face, the groove between my brows forming. “I don’t trust anyone to do that.”
Bella stops searching the pantry to turn to me with wide eyes. “We would use a reputable agency—”
“No way in fucking hell am I going to let a stranger take care of my child.” The fierceness of my words has my gaze sliding to the small bundle in my arms.
Shit, I should probably stop cussing around her, right?
Grayson shares a look with Bella and I can tell they’re having an entire conversation without me.
“I don’t care if I sound crazy, I’m not doing it. You don’t know who you’re hiring and Emmy has suffered enough. I’m not putting her at risk.”
Not after what I went through.
“It’s okay, I probably would feel the same way,” Bella assures me. “I’m sorry I suggested it.”
Now I feel like a dick for snapping.
My shoulders slump as I take a seat at one of the bar stools, waving off Bella’s apology. “No, don’t be sorry, I’m just—”
“Protective,” she offers with a kind smile. “It’s a good look, Ashford. Suits you.”
I can’t help it, my cheeks flame as I mutter out a thanks.
“Making my teammate blush, Blaze?” Grayson drawls.
She rolls her eyes, swatting away his hand as he wraps her in a hug.
As they whisper back and forth, I wave my free arm in the air. “Hello, world just exploded, I have a child on my hip. Unless you want to make your own can we get back to what matters?”
Grayson snorts into the crook of Bella’s neck as she scoffs out a laugh. He doesn’t take his hands off her as he leans against the kitchen bench, taking her with him. “What about my mom? Would you trust her?”
“Of course, with my life and Emmy’s, but she has work and our schedule is all over the place. I don’t want to ask her to uproot her life and move here. That’s not fair.”
He frowns. “Shit, you’re right.”
Bella elbows him. “Language. We have little ears in the house now.”
Grayson winces, mouthing me an apology. “That’s going to take some getting used to.”
“You’re telling me,” I mutter as Bella suddenly squeals, clapping her hands. Even Emmy lifts her head.
“What about Layla?” she asks.
My back straightens. “Layla’s back?” I send a seething glare Grayson’s way. “Why didn’t you tell me she was back?”
He holds his hand up in surrender. “I didn’t know you’d want to know.”
“Okay, and the sky is goddamn blue.”
“What the hell does the sky have to do with this?”
“I thought we were naming obvious shit.” Wincing at my language—again—I whisper to Emmy, “When you do feel like talking, don’t say that word. It’s not kind.”
Bella huffs out a laugh across the island as she pushes away from Grayson and begins prepping dinner, him trailing beside her like a shadow, trying to help in any way he can.
“I would love Layla to look after her, but does she not have a job lined up? Also, how was Berlin? She never responded to my texts. Is she okay?”
Bella takes a deep breath before spinning to face me, ignoring Grayson, who’s trying not to laugh. “First of all, that’s a lot of questions.”
“I have time.”
Cocking her hip, she begins to tick things off her fingers. “Layla would be perfect for the job. She adores kids, wants to become an elementary school teacher. Second, Berlin was good for her, more than good in fact, but I’ll let her tell you that. And yes, she got all your text messages.”
My nose wrinkles. “Then why didn’t she reply?”
“Because you tried sexting her?”
My eyes practically bug out of my head as Grayson throws his back on a laugh. “I did not!”
“So, you weren’t trying to flirt with her?” Bella asks, her brow cocked.
“Flirting, yes.” I cover Emmy’s ears and whisper-hiss, “Not sexting.”
Bella shrugs and goes back to cooking at the stovetop. “She was focused on healing, and honestly, she thought you’d get sick of pining after her.”
As Grayson looks at me a bit too closely, I force myself to scoff. “I wasn’t pining.”
“Texting her every day, despite her not responding, gives off the impression that you were pining.”
Of course I was. Has she not met Layla? Stunning redhead, sassy mouth, gorgeous icy blue eyes that like to roll a million times when I’m around?
Who the fuck wouldn’t stop thinking about her? But by the silent conversation Bella and Grayson are having—once again—I choose to keep the fact that the little redhead has been driving me wild for well over a year to myself.
“We’re getting off topic. You think she’d want to work for me?”
Grayson kisses Bella on the cheek, moving to grab waters from the fridge and handing me one as he takes a seat at the bench beside me. He gives Emmy his famous megawatt smile as they no doubt lock gazes. I have to bite the inside of my cheek to not laugh as she looks back at Grayson warily.
She may not be speaking, but that doesn’t mean she isn’t watching everything.
Bending my head, I whisper, “He’s a gigantic idiot but he’s harmless.”
Grayson slaps my shoulder. “Don’t be teaching her bad things.” Turning back to Emmy, he cups his chest. “I’m not an idiot”—he sends a glare in my direction—“but your dad is, because it’s mean to call people names.”
“So mean that you just called me a name?” I say smugly.
Bella claps her hands from the kitchen. “You’re both as bad as each other right now, knock it off. Layla has been looking for a job without any luck. She’d probably take anything at this stage.”
I roll my eyes. “I’m not that bad.”
“Didn’t say you were.”
Layla sure acts like I’m carrying a plague, though. I’ve never had a woman avoid me as much as she does, and it drives me insane.
Of course the one woman I have interest in beyond a one-night stand is someone who can’t stand me.
“I’ll have her come over.”
That has me straightening. “Now?”
Bella shrugs. “Why not? We could all have dinner together.” She points at Emmy with her spatula. “You can see if they get along.”
Running a hand through my hair, I note how my palms are suddenly slick with sweat. “Okay, want me to text her?”
“If you want her to turn up, I’d suggest you let me do the texting.”
I don’t care who texts her. As long as that wild red hair makes an appearance tonight, I’d be a happy man.
And a very nervous one.