Chapter 16
Layla
KIERAN
are you at Totti’s?
LAYLA
what are you?
my stalker?
KIERAN
if I say yes would that make you like me more?
is this on the life list?
LAYLA
depends on what type of stalker
KIERAN
oh my god it is
which book inspired this?
LAYLA
over my dead body am I telling you
KIERAN
fine I’ll just go and read your book reviews and find it
LAYLA
HOW THE HELL DID YOU FIND THEM?????
HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHERE TO FIND THEM?????
KIERAN
hot stalker, remember? ;)
The bartender places the mocktails Bella and I ordered down on our table while dropping the fruity alcoholic one in front of Cindy. By her slight sway and wobbly smile, she’s two sheets to the wind.
Bella bites her lip to stop from laughing while I chuckle behind my glass.
“What?” Cindy pouts.
“We tried to warn you,” Bella all but sings.
Cindy points an incredulous finger between us. “I’m not that drunk.”
I can’t help but snort. “Sure, and I’m not a redhead.”
Bella fails at containing her laughter this time.
Cindy narrows her eyes at me. “How’s Kieran doing, Layla?”
My giggle dies as Bella glances at me. “Deflection, I love it! Do tell, how is he?”
Placing my mocktail down, I shrug. “He’s fine, just a few bruises—”
“That he’s getting you to ice personally?” Cindy asks, wiggling her brows.
“No!”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“Did he try to get you to ice it, though?”
My lips part, my words dying on my tongue. Cindy claps her hands before throwing them up in celebration. “I knew it! That man is smitten, no other way to put it.”
Groaning, I put my head in my hands. “Girls, how many times do we have to go over this?”
“Until you realize he likes you,” Bella whispers into my side.
Straightening, I look at them and say with utter conviction, “He doesn’t like me.”
Bella snorts. “I know you don’t believe that.”
Come on. I’m this close to ordering some of the drinks Cindy has been drinking and saying screw it, but I don’t want to mess with my medication and deal with the side-effects. I’d be far too anxious later.
Cindy eyes me before smirking. “Okay, if he doesn’t like you and you don’t feel anything for him, then you’ll have no problem flirting with the guy who’s been making eyes at you all night.”
My jaw drops.
Before I can say anything, Cindy is waving someone over that’s behind me.
“Oh my fucking god, you’re crazy.”
Bella cackles with manic laughter while Cindy just winks, flipping her bouncy hair behind her shoulder. “In the best way.”
I turn to Bella. I expect her to…I don’t know, do something, but all she does is gently place her finger under my chin, forcing my mouth closed. “He’s your usual type,” she whispers, lowering her voice. “Cindy’s right, if you don’t care about Kieran, you’ll be excited about this one.”
They’re both crazy.
Maybe the bartender got Cindy and Bella’s drinks mixed up, because what the hell is happening right now?
The guy comes to stand beside our table. Bella is right, he is my usual type, but…
He turns to me, his smile wide as he runs his fingers through his shaggy blonde hair. “Hey.”
“Hi.”
I wait for it, for the rush or zap of electricity to spark my chest, for butterflies to swarm my stomach, for his eyes to mesmerize me.
Nothing happens.
A part of my heart sinks as realization dawns on me that maybe—just maybe—the girls are right, that the flirting is more than just a game.
Because why is my perfect type standing before me and I feel utterly nothing?
Why do I feel more for fictional characters than this man?
And why the hell is Kieran’s face coming to mind, his flirty smiles and winks and taunting touches?
Why do I want him here right now and not this stranger?
Goddamnit.
Cindy flashes her bright smile and I’m surprised the guy can keep his attention on me. When Cindy sets her charm on you, you listen.
“This is Layla. She just moved back to town.”
The guy’s brows rise. “Where did you go?”
My cheeks flush slightly at the reminder of where I was and why. “Berlin,” I manage to get out coolly.
“Wow, how long did you live there?”
My shoulders slump with relief. At least he didn’t ask me why I moved. “Around seventeen months. I just got back two months ago.”
He leans against the table, trying to cut off the girls and almost soak me into his orbit, but the only orbit I’m stuck in seems to be the one hockey player with blue eyes and a cheeky tongue. This guy, as cute as he is, doesn’t look like he could goad me. If anything, he feels…lackluster.
“There’s a restaurant that opened up just down the road a few weeks back. I’d love to take you to it.”
Kieran’s face flashes across my mind again, more specifically the night he leant back, that cocky smirk dancing along his lips as we ate pasta on his couch. The fact I’m even thinking about my boss in this moment has my back straightening.
Didn’t Kieran win a date from me?
Or did he only try?
Why can’t I remember?
Probably because he tries all the damn time.
I’m about to politely decline, my lips parting, but Cindy jumps in before I can. “She’d love to!”
My eyes snap to hers. “What are you doing?” I hiss.
She just winks at me as the guy, without missing a beat, whips out his phone. “What’s your number?”
I guess I can’t really turn him down now, can I? I don’t want to embarrass the guy.
Ten digits given, albeit reluctantly, later, the guy winks at me and walks away, leaving a sour taste in my mouth. I turn my attention to Cindy, my heart a little hurt.
“Why did you do that?”
Bella falls silent, her hand clutching mine under the table. She will push me when it’s needed and I’m always thankful for it but this…I’m not sure how to feel about it.
As if buckets of ice were poured over her, she sobers. “Fuck, Layla, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t—” She sighs and I can practically see the guilt and disappointment in herself swallowing her whole. “I just thought…it’s just…”
Bella swoops in. “We’ve noticed how you and Kieran are around each other and we think you two just…need a little push.”
“If you think we need a push then why push me toward a different guy?” I ask, letting go of Bella’s hand beneath the table and ignoring the flash of hurt in her eyes.
Cindy shrugs but the guilt is still there. “Because I thought that maybe if you went on a date with someone else and noticed how they don’t make you feel alive—”
“Like Kieran does,” Bella adds, “that maybe you would—”
“What, suddenly admit I like Kieran?” I take a shuddering breath, their train of thought hitting far too close to what just happened in my mind.
And despite knowing they’re right, I still feel hurt.
I feel pushed, forced against what I want, and…
I want to make decisions for myself. I’m tired of others doing it for me.
For years I was told what I could and couldn’t do. Even my own body would shackle me with its failure.
I need this part of my life to be on my terms.
This has nothing to do with my medical trauma, but it hit a nerve. Cindy doesn’t know how hard it was for me, how much loss of control I had. She was trying to help and I can see that, but not enough to swallow my pain right now.
“I know I’m attracted to Kieran but I also know that he doesn’t feel anything more than lust for me. What Kieran and I have right now works, okay? So please don’t push any further,” I say, kindly yet stern.
Cindy leans across the table and clasps my hand. “Layla, I’m so sorry. That was too far and I should have seen you didn’t want to be pushed like that.”
The sincerity of her words soothes some of the ache in my chest but not entirely because…because they’re both right, and I hate that they are. Despite me trying to push Kieran away, he’s wriggled into my heart.
“It’s okay,” I whisper, shaking off the desolate feeling. “Let’s do a night restart.” Grinning, I look over at the makeshift stage. “Anyone up for karaoke?”
UNKNOWN NUMBER
Hey Red, was great meeting you last night
when are you free for that date?