Chapter 45
Layla
LAYLA
sorry B! We got lost
Kieran wants to go back home to Emmy, so we’ll see you this weekend!
BELLA
did you make out in a haunted house?
please tell me you did
I won’t stop texting until you tell me
LAYLA
HELLOOO
LAYLA
we did a lot more than make out
BELLA
OH MY FUCKING GOD
Cindy is going to be so proud
Snickering at my phone, I come to an abrupt halt as I crash into a hard chest. Lifting my gaze, I find Kieran, his Ghostface mask long gone, his features soft and full of such tender care I’m momentarily stunned.
“Stay the night,” he breathes, with a hint of fear.
Pocketing my phone, I take a step forward, laying a gentle hand on his cheek, savoring the way his eyes flutter closed. “I’m not going to change my mind, Kieran,” I say, lowering my voice. “I meant what I said.”
He lifts his calloused hand to mine and clutches it. “Say it again. I need to hear it.”
“I love you, Kieran Ashford.” I chuckle. “You made it increasingly hard not to.”
His lip twitches before he opens those eyes and sets the ocean upon me, sucking me in as they always do. His voice is so rough it sets my skin on fire. “I knew you couldn’t resist me for long.”
Snorting out a laugh, I shove him playfully as I walk past him to the front door, only to stop and turn with wide eyes.
“What is it?”
“What the hell do I say to my mother?” I whisper-hiss.
Kieran throws his head back with a laugh and I leap forward, smacking my hand over his mouth. Lucky for me, he wraps his arm around my waist and keeps me upright, allowing me to keep my hand there, otherwise I would have just slid down him like a drop of water with the height difference.
I can feel his smirk behind my hand, his eyes twinkling with mischief as the front door opens behind me.
His brow quirks as my mom’s voice rings out. “Layla? What are you two doing?”
“Yeah Layla,” Kieran mumbles, “what are you doing mounting your boss like that?”
“I’m going to kill you,” I whisper.
“And I’ll scream like a good boy,” he says with a wink.
Wiggling like Emmy does, I’m grateful he lets me go, allowing me to drop down on my own two feet. Spinning, I face Momma Bear Carson.
“Hi, Mom!”
My voice is too high-pitched and by the jostling at my back, I think Kieran is laughing silently.
My mom glances between the both of us before she smiles, and I don’t think I’ve seen her smile like this before. It’s part joy, part relief, and for some strange reason, tears fill her eyes.
Stepping forward, I lower my voice, touching her arm. “Mom?”
She takes a steadying breath, blinking away the tears. “I’m just so happy to see you living your life to the fullest, sweetie.” Grabbing her bag from the entryway console, she winks my way. “I’ll see you tomorrow, I presume.”
She leaves me standing in the threshold, gaping at her, as she walks past Kieran and pats him on the shoulder. “Take care of my baby, Kieran!”
“Always will, Momma Bear Carson.”
“That’s what I like to hear.” Unlocking her car, she opens the door, parting with, “Emmy wouldn’t stop singing tonight, by the way, so whatever you’re doing keep it up.”
The sound of my mom’s car leaving is the only thing to fill the otherwise quiet night. Kieran and I stand in the doorway, staring at each other.
I’m the first to break the silence. “Emmy was singing.”
Kieran’s eyes widen. “That’s what has you stumped?”
I frown at him. “Why the hell are you being quiet?”
“Hmm I don’t know, maybe because your mom cried happy tears presuming we’re together but I actually defiled her daughter in a haunted house?”
I nod my head slowly. “Okay yeah, maybe that’s a good reason to be shocked as well.”
Kieran’s eyes trail down my body before lifting to my face once more. “Maybe?” Moving forward, his steps are slow, measured, as if he’s closing in on his prey. “Layla…”
“Kieran,” I murmur as he comes so close I have to tip my head back.
Kicking the front door shut with his foot, he bends his head, his lips tantalizingly close, his warm puff of air dancing along my skin. “We’re alone.”
“Mm-hmm.”
He keeps moving forward until I’m backed into the stair banister.
“And I can’t seem to stop thinking about the sound you made when you came.”
“Which time?” I taunt.
He groans. “Are you going to be able to be quiet?”
I quirk a brow. “Through what?”
He lifts his hand to my chin, brushing his lips against mine. “If you think for one second that that was enough to satisfy me…” He tsks. “Oh Layla, I’ll never get enough of you.”
My breathing is labored now, my chest brushing his every time I inhale, only adding to the heady sensation of him crowding me. “Then take me.”
He moves before I can so much as blink.
He bends, sliding his hands down my thighs and lifting me in one fell swoop. I squeal as he walks us deeper into the living room.
“You know I respect you right, sunshine?”
“Yes,” I breathe.
His grin is downright dirty. “Good, because it’s about to look like I don’t.”
Kieran’s heartbeat steadies me.
Grounding me like nothing has before. The only time I’ve ever felt so at peace as I do in this moment—lying on the floor, covered in blankets in front of a fire, my head on Kieran’s chest with his arm tracing patterns along my back—is when I would read books.
Although now that I’ve tasted this, how it feels to be held by someone—cherished—it’ll never be enough again. I’ve never understood what the romance books and movies meant when a character felt physically pained not being with someone, but I get it now.
And I understand why Kieran walked away a few weeks ago, because if I had him like this and was forced to watch him leave me, I don’t think I would’ve recovered from that.
I place my chin on his chest, watching the shadows of the fireplace dance along his face.
“Is it always like this?”
“Is what?” he asks, his voice rough.
“Sex. Is it like this with everyone?”
He’s quiet for a moment, a small smile tilting the corner of his lips. “It doesn’t even come close, sunshine.” He lifts his hand and brushes a lock of hair behind my ear, his eyes full of sincerity as he whispers, “What we have is…consuming. I’ve never felt this for anyone, ever.”
Swallowing thickly, I hold the words close to my heart, the little girl in me that grew up reading romance books and would dream of the day someone would love her like the stories sighs contentedly.
“This is rare, isn’t it?” I say after a beat.
He leans forward, placing a featherlight kiss against my head, the touch sending a shiver down my spine. “Extremely.”
“Then we have to cherish it.”
He wraps an arm around my waist. “I plan on doing more than just cherishing.”
I quirk a brow. “Care to elaborate?”
He shakes his head slowly. “No, I just plan on loving you every day for the rest of my life.”
“That’s a long commitment,” I murmur after it takes me an ungodly amount of time to find my voice.
“Easy to commit when it’s you.” His features grow serious, grave, making me steel myself as he whispers, “You’re it for me, Layla. I’ve known that for a long time now.” He smirks. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed or not, but I’m slightly obsessed with you.”
I tease, “What could have ever given it away? Perhaps the handmade bookshelf?”
His laugh jostles me. “Cheeky,” he teases.
Laying my head back down on his chest, with his arm around my waist, I begin to trace his tattoos.
Kieran tenses beneath me.
I peer down at the snake tattoo wrapped around his forearm, peppered by small intricate designs, but I stop on the snake’s head, my finger swiping back and forth over the raised bump. “What does this cover up?”
He studies me. “Are you sure you want to know?”
“I want to know every part of you.”
“The bad included?”
“Especially the bad,” I whisper. “I want it all, Kieran. I can handle it, I promise.”
He’s quiet for a moment before he swallows, his Adam apple bobbing as his gaze cuts down to his forearm.
“That particular punishment was because the matron caught me sneaking into the kitchen and trying to steal food after she put me on a food ban.” The temperature in the room plummets.
“I hadn’t eaten in over two days at that point.
I was in physical pain I was so hungry.”
His words trail off and I don’t realize I’m crying until I see one of my tears land on the head of the snake tattoo.
“She took the knife that I was using to jimmy the lock on the pantry and stabbed it in my forearm.” He blows out a breath. “I needed four stitches.”
“And the hospital never questioned it?” I ask, surprising myself with the vengeance in my tone.
He shakes his head, giving me a sad smile. “The matron is a clinical nurse. She bandaged and stitched us up after her beatings and punishments if they were severe.”
Swiping away another tear, I peer back down at his forearm. My fingers move slowly and catch another scar just two inches away, along the snake’s body, this one round and peppered.
“And this?” I ask, my voice wobbly.
“Her cigarette. Apparently the leaves in the backyard weren’t raked to her liking.”
My throat burns with a sob.
“And this one?” I ask when I find another.
“The whip.”
Another.
“Her belt.”
Another.
“Her heel.”
My breath stutters out of me, my shoulders quaking.
Kieran wraps his arms around me, drawing me into his naked body. “Shh.” He presses a kiss to my temple. “This is why I didn’t want to—”
I pull back from him, imploring him with my gaze to hear me.
“I said I can handle it, and I can. I can carry your heaviness, Kieran. I can carry your pain and suffering, but do not ask me not to mourn the childhood that was robbed from you. What you went through is horrible and I want to feel every ounce of hatred and hurt for what that god-awful devil of a woman did to you.” Lifting my hand to his face, I catch a tear that rolls down his cheek with my thumb.
“Let me be sad for the little boy that didn’t get the love he deserved.
” I’m quiet for a moment, allowing my words to sink before I ask, “Did you ever report her?”