Epilogue
Layla
The energy on this side of the arena deflates like a balloon as the final buzzer rings out.
IceHawks just lost the Stanley Cup.
The groans around us are so loud I’m surprised Emmy hasn’t clocked on. She doesn’t understand that we’re not celebrating, all she sees is the confetti that explodes across the ice, the cheers coming from San Francisco’s team.
Emmy squeals in my arms, clapping her hands. “Mommy, Mommy, look, it’s Daddy!”
It doesn’t matter that nearly six months have passed since Kieran told Emmy she could call me Mom if she wanted. I’m still not used to it, never will be if I’m honest, because every time it turns my heart into a puddle of absolute goo.
The fact this special angel in my arms likes me enough to want to call me mom?
I wasn’t lying to Kieran all those months ago on the mountain when I said it would be an honor. She is the most precious little girl I know, and this precious little girl is happy and excited regardless of the team loss because Kieran is skating over.
His face lights up the second he spots us at the plexiglass, Emmy going wild. With his gloves on he waves, Emmy waving back.
She’s still beyond anxious meeting new people and is very slow to open up, but around her family, she talks everyone’s ears off, Bambi’s the most. Bless her heart, she doesn’t understand that Bambi is deaf.
At least her therapist is finally included in the list of people she trusts.
Emmy adores her and thank goodness, because Kieran was growing increasingly worried she didn’t want to share with her.
Over time, though, the therapist has been able to make Emmy feel safe and work through all her memories of her mom—the ones she shares anyways.
I think the full extent of how her mother treated her will always be a mystery.
I know there’s a lot Kieran struggles to tell me, and I’m okay with him wishing those memories are ones he could forget. But if he ever wants to share, he knows there’s an open heart waiting to listen to his story.
“Daddy!” Emmy squeals, banging her hand against the glass.
Kieran sprays ice, making her chuckle as he puts his hand against hers on the other side. “Hi, munchkin! Did you see me skate?”
“So fast!”
“You think Daddy was fast?” he asks, his eyes wide.
She nods before slapping her chest. “Emmy have a go next!”
“Hell yeah, Em!” Kieran looks up at me. “Hey, sunshine.”
“Hi, Ashford.”
“Want to come onto the ice and commiserate with me?”
“I thought you’d never ask.”
Kieran winks, following beside us as we walk around the arena until security lets us through and we’re able to walk onto the ice. Kieran holds out his hand. “You like me all sweaty, sunshine?”
“Like you wouldn’t believe.”
Kieran kisses me and like always, it’s so full of tender love he makes my heart skip a beat. Coming up for air, he winks down at me. “Nice jersey.”
“I was told he’s the best in the league.”
“Damn, some poor sucker let you go for the losing team?”
Shrugging, I throw up my free hand in the air. “They did. Guess I should have worn San Francisco colors.”
Kieran scoffs. “Over my dead body. You look sexy in black and white.”
Shaking my head, I hand Emmy over. “Take your daughter skating before you teach her more dirty words.”
“Hey, I think she learned some of the cuss words from you.”
“Absolutely not, Ashford. You’ve doled out two hundred bucks to the swear jar and I’ve had to pay one.”
He sighs contentedly as he lowers Emmy to the ice, holding both her hands as she jumps up and down. “Can I pay you to swear? Hearing you say fuck was like music to my ears.”
“And I’m teaching her to swear?”
I shake my head at him, though I can’t help smiling at the man that I continue to fall in love with more and more every day.
It didn’t take him long to ask me to move in with him. He lasted all of a week after the camping trip before blurting it out over dinner. He was a nervous wreck that night, spilling pasta water, dropping sauce on the floor. I’ve come to realize that Kieran does get nervous, but only for two people.
Emmy and me.
Whereas I get anxious if I wake up in a cold sweat or with aches and pains.
I had another flare-up, seven weeks after going off the birth control, but it was nowhere near as bad as the one prior. It was minor and went away so quickly it made me a little less afraid of them…but I know I’ll always carry some medical anxiety.
I’ve accepted that fact about myself.
Although working on writing has helped tremendously, to have a project to throw my entire focus into on days where I can’t switch my brain off.
Kieran was right, the second I mentioned that I was thinking of writing a children’s book the night we went Trick or Treating, Bella pounced, and we’ve been working together ever since.
And yes, we get constant messages from Grayson in the middle of the night cursing both me and Kieran for stealing his girlfriend away from him.
But as Bella says, when inspiration strikes, it strikes hard.
I’ve managed to complete a full draft for my first children’s novel, and in Emmy’s honor, I named the main character after her, a fact which made Emmy teary-eyed when Bella and I showed her.
I’ll cherish the memory of that forever. It was the moment I saw Emmy realize she was loved.
“You coming, sunshine, or are you going to make me wallow in my misery alone?”
“You’ll never be alone, Ashford.”
Taking the hand Kieran holds out for me, his other still locked on Emmy’s, he pulls his two girls close and whispers in my ear, “I hoped every night when you were in Berlin that you’d say those words to me.”
“Your wish came true.”
“And it’s better than I ever dreamed.”