16. Chapter 16
Chapter 16
I’ve learned so much from my mistakes that I’m thinking of making a few more.
Chance glanced up as Berlin stepped into the safe house kitchen, smiled and mouthed almost done to her as he said, “Thanks for answering. Just let me know if you hear anything.” Sighing, he set the phone down as she locked the door behind her.
“Everything okay?”
“Yeah, just reaching out to people I’ve already talked to about Enzo. I was hoping maybe he came home or something.” Chance had known it was a shot in the dark, but had wanted to be doing something instead of just sitting around and waiting. His brother’s phone was off, and Berlin couldn’t find any online movement from him.
“By your expression, no luck?”
He shook his head. “How was dinner?” She’d asked him to go, but it had been clear the people she worked with didn’t want him there so he’d hung back. These weren’t his friends. Except for Berlin.
“It was good to see Ezra and Magnolia. And I might have a lead. Don’t get too excited but the Backwater Bayou Boys out of Baton Rouge might be running what I assume is drugs this Tuesday—and I’m going to be calling them the Boys from this point forward because their name is so stupid. Anyway, a friend sent me some information about them and they’re potentially linked to the Acton brothers. I can’t actually show the information to you, but once I’ve read over everything I’ll let you know what I’ve got. Then we can decide on a plan.”
“What does your crew think of this?”
“Ah, they don’t even know yet. I didn’t tell them.” She grinned mischievously and he felt that look like a punch to his chest. God, she was gorgeous and so smart it hurt his brain a little. “I texted them once I’d already left the party. Things were winding down anyway and this way I didn’t have to do goodbyes.”
“Or get questioned about where you got your intel?” he asked dryly.
She blinked in surprise, then grinned again. “It’s like you’re in my head.”
He just shrugged, but he was glad she wasn’t in his head. Because he couldn’t stop thinking about her—and it had nothing to do with her helping him. Nothing to do with finding his brother. And everything to do with his growing fascination with her. Hell, he wasn’t just thinking about her, he was obsessed with the woman.
He’d always had fun with Moonlighter online, had acted like he did with his old unit. Because he’d assumed she was a man. Then last night—or this morning technically—they’d shared a room. Which should have been weird, but it strangely wasn’t. He’d always been himself with her, and now that they’d met in person it was no different. Except everything was different. “Is there anything I can do to help?”
“I wish, but no. I’m going to hang out in the living room and work. There’s a VR set in there you can use if you want. I’m the only one who ever uses it. It’s my backup.”
“I actually brought mine. Would you mind if I worked out a little? I don’t want to distract you,” he added as he followed her into the expansive room. The safe house itself was huge, but warm and inviting. There were throw blankets in a basket by a fireplace, a big television above it and comfortable couches.
“Of course not, go for it. I’d rather not be alone anyway. Normally I’ve got a full house when I’m working, or someone in my ear asking for information.”
He laughed lightly at her description as she stretched out on one of the couches, her laptop open. He was pretty sure he ceased to exist for her then as she focused on her screen.
As she worked, he started simple calisthenics: pushups and crunches until he had to strip off his shirt. He’d have preferred to go for a long run, but even with Brody Williams in custody, they still weren’t sure where Johnny was. He wondered if leaving the guy like that had been a mistake, but it had been the only real option. So Chance was trying to do the smart thing and stick to the safe house, even though he was already going out of his mind. Though being cooped up with Berlin wasn’t a bad thing. Except he couldn’t stop fantasizing about her, wondering if she’d welcome him into her bed tonight.
After so many crunches he’d lost count, he glanced over to find her watching him with…interest.
Flushing slightly, she quickly glanced back at her screen. Her dark hair was pulled up into a loose ponytail, with little tendrils down around her face.
“Am I bothering you?” he asked, wondering if he was seeing what he wanted or if she’d been watching him the same way he watched her when she wasn’t paying attention.
“No, I’m just impressed by how many sit-ups you did,” she rasped out, her voice unsteady.
“I work out when I’m stressed.” Or when he was bored. Or…all the time really. It had been a way for him to cope with shit growing up. He hadn’t been able to do anything for his sister, hadn’t been able to afford the treatment she’d needed. He’d had no control over anything except himself.
Then the army had only fed that need for him to stay in shape. A few years in, he’d discovered VR, another one of his coping mechanisms. And if he was being honest, he tried to keep his body honed because of his knee. He had a need to stay strong everywhere in case part of his body betrayed him again.
“I wish I had your stamina.” She paused, then cleared her throat and ducked her head a little as she continued working, her cheeks even pinker now.
He couldn’t help but grin as he rolled over, started on another round of pushups now. “You hold your own when we’re gaming.”
She snickered slightly. “True. That’s because I’m competitive though. I hate losing anything.”
Maybe she didn’t run or do weights, but she was lean and had kicked his ass on more than one occasion during their games. As he continued working out, she was clearly making progress on her laptop. But eventually his knee started to bother him.
“You okay?” Berlin’s voice cut through his thoughts.
“What?”
“You winced slightly.” She rolled her neck as she slid her laptop off her lap and stood. “Is it your knee?”
He’d told her about his knee before he’d known who she really was, and while he hadn’t been able to tell her all the details, he’d been honest enough about the pain. “Yeah.” Hiding another wince, he sat up and started stretching his leg slowly. “Some days it’s fine and others… Whatever, it’s okay.”
She gave him a dubious look but didn’t push him, thankfully.
“It’s not fine actually. It sucks some days,” he finally said. “It’s why I got out of the army. I could have stayed in, but not with my unit. And things wouldn’t have ever been the same. So I opted to end my contract. It…would have been too painful to stay in. And now I have no idea what I’m doing with my life other than trying to find my brother.”
She sat on the ground across from him. “I’m really sorry. That does suck.”
He shoved out a breath, surprised by how honest he’d been with her. The last part he hadn’t said aloud to anyone, had barely let himself acknowledge how much he was drifting. “I keep pushing my unit away. Or maybe not, but I’m not ‘engaging’ with them like I used to. Not my word.” His friends had all been reaching out, especially Hot Shot. Deep down he kept wondering when they’d all forget about him and move on.
“It’s got to be hard knowing they’re out there doing what you used to do, without you.”
“Yeah, it is.” This close to her, he could drown in her blue-green eyes, and god, he told himself not to want her. But that was like telling the sun not to shine. He cleared his throat as he looked away, using stretching as an excuse to break eye contact. “Find anything good?”
“Maybe.” She flopped down next to him on the throw rug, propped her hands under her head. “These ‘Boys,’ aka assholes, run drugs using airboats through some pretty complex river systems. It’s an expansive area, but…I hacked into a satellite and found some old images we might be able to use to pinpoint which rivers they’re using. It’s a long shot, but it’s something. I need to talk to the others, see what they think we should do.”
“You hacked a satellite?”
“Yeah. A decommissioned one.” She shrugged, like it was no big deal, but then she smiled.
“You know how amazing that is.”
“I do.” Now her grin was a little terrifying.
“I feel like you could take over some small governments if you wanted.”
“The thought has crossed my mind.” Laughing lightly, she sat up just as he started to move, putting them a lot closer together than they had been before.
Her sweet hibiscus scent wrapped around him and he was very aware of just how alone they were—and of the way her gaze dipped to his mouth, then to his bare chest, and back up to his mouth. Yeah, she’d been watching him the same as he’d been watching her.
He barely held back a groan at the hungry way she was staring because for just a moment her expression was so unguarded, so hungry , that he lost all sense.
Without thinking, he leaned forward, closing the distance between them, and just like that she did the same. As he crushed his mouth to hers, he slid his hand through her hair, tugging her ponytail free. He wanted her hair down, wanted her completely open to him as they lost themselves in each other.
She made a little moaning sound as he cupped the back of her head, one that went straight to his dick. And when he nipped at her bottom lip—
The sound of a door opening then shutting tore them apart. Shit . His heart rate was already jacked up, but this never should have happened. He should have been paying better attention to their surroundings, should have known they had company.
“Berlin?” It was Adalyn, the one who seemed to be in charge. He still wasn’t sure of the hierarchy, but it was clear that everyone followed her orders.
“This was a mistake,” Berlin whispered. “I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.” With incredible speed, she jumped to her feet, grabbed her laptop and practically ran from the room as if he was poison.
Well, then. Feeling as if she’d kicked him in the gut, he rolled to his feet and headed for the stairs. He could take the damn hint. In the room they’d shared, he grabbed his stuff, then dumped it in the room next to hers before jumping in the shower.
He was pretty sure he’d been called a mistake by more than one woman in the past, but never to his face. And he wouldn’t have cared. He’d only had one-night stands before. But with Berlin, he’d stupidly allowed himself to think… It didn’t matter. Nothing was going to happen between them.
Clearly.
Didn’t matter how much he wanted it, that kiss was a mistake. Beyond annoyed with himself, he turned the water to cold as he scrubbed off the sweat of the day. Maybe she was right. Maybe kissing her had been stupid. Because now he wanted to do it again.
But under much different, naked circumstances.
As disappointment slid through him, he told himself that this was for the best. He needed to focus on finding his brother, and getting tangled up with someone was monumentally stupid.
Even if that someone lived in his brain, filled up all his fantasies, made him feel like he might have a different future than he’d ever envisioned. But what did he think was going to happen? If they’d let things go any further, it would have made things complicated. And right now he needed her focused on finding his brother too.
She was right, it had been a mistake. One he wouldn’t make again.
Probably.