Chapter 10 #2
Evie swallowed hard, her cheeks burning with renewed embarrassment as she forced herself to meet Marigold's kind eyes. "I... I threw myself at Gabe, like some desperate, drunken fool. He was so nice, walking me home, making sure I got in safely. And I repaid him by... by mauling him."
Her voice cracked on the last words.
"Oh, sweetheart," Marigold soothed, patting Evie's hand. "I'm sure it wasn't as bad as all that."
Evie shook her head vehemently, wincing as the motion made her temples throb. "It was. I practically attacked him. And he... he rejected me. Gently, but still. Holy sheet cake, how can I ever face him again?"
The clink of china signaled Iris's return with the tea tray. Evie gratefully accepted a steaming mug, wrapping her hands around the comforting warmth.
“And that on top of the whole debacle with Shepherd and Asher. I should have learned my lesson when Adrian decided saving a whole damn fifteen minutes on his commute was more important than me and stayed in my lane.”
Isis and Marigold shared a worried look.
“Evie!” Posy exclaimed, her tone somewhere between shocked and strict school-marm. “Don’t you dare let me hear you speak about yourself like that again. You’re better than that. Since when did you drown yourself in a lack of self-worth? This is not who you are.”
“Well, this is who I feel like right now,” Evie retorted. “I’m a mom, and that’s what I should stick to being, and I don’t even feel like I’m doing a very good job at that, either.”
“Stop it, right now,” Iris demanded, but Evie was in a mood.
“Oh, come on, Iris. I’m sure everyone’s thinking the same thing.
” She threw up her hands. “I let Adrian bully me into allowing him to take Ollie on holiday. Then I let him take our son before it was time, so he missed Santa. I’m living with my parents and relying on them to take care of Ollie while I open the bakery.
And I depend on Posy bringing him home from school. ”
She sucked in a breath, but her rant wasn’t finished.
“And then what happens? Oh yeah, my kid has to occupy himself, playing in the back room of the bakery before I close out for the day, and then my parents give him his dinner while I set things up for the following day. I get home in time to put him to bed, then I start over again. What sort of life is that for a kid?”
Evie blinked, her eyes stinging with unshed tears. She took a shaky breath, trying to compose herself but the weight of her perceived failures pressed down on her, making her shoulders slump.
"Oh, honey," Marigold said softly, reaching out to pat Evie's hand. "You're being far too hard on yourself."
"Am I?" Evie asked, her tone bitter. She could feel the lump in her throat growing, threatening to choke her. "Because from where I'm sitting, it feels like I'm failing at everything."
Posy leaned forward, her eyes fierce. "Evie Montgomery, you listen to me right now. You are not a failure. You're a single mom running a successful business while raising an amazing little boy. Do you have any idea how incredible that is?"
Evie shook her head, unable to meet her friend's gaze. She focused instead on her tea, watching the steam curl up from the mug.
“Well, let me tell you, right now. There are kids with both parents, who live in their own fancy houses, who don’t have it half as good as Ollie does.”
"It's true," Iris chimed in, her usual brusque tone softened with affection. "You've overcome so much this past year. And Ollie? That boy adores you," Iris continued. "I see how his face lights up when you walk into a room. And the way he talks about you? It's clear you're his whole world."
Evie's throat tightened. She wanted to believe them, but the doubts still gnawed at her. "But what about all the time I'm not there? All the things I'm missing?"
"Every parent feels that way sometimes," Marigold said gently. "But you're doing the best you can in a difficult situation. And Ollie knows that."
Evie scoffed. “He’s five. Of course he doesn’t know that!”
Posy squeezed her shoulder. “He knows he’s loved! That’s the most important thing of all. He has a stable home and security. Yes, things are different, but as long as he has you, that’s all he really needs.”
Evie took a shaky breath, trying to let their words sink in. She glanced around the kitchen, taking in the mess of flour and baking sheets. Had she really been hiding here for days, wallowing in self-pity?
"I've been so stupid," she murmured, more to herself than the others.
"Not stupid," Posy corrected firmly. "Just human. We all have moments of doubt, Evie. But that's why we have friends - to remind us of who we are when we forget."
“And if those three boys don’t know how lucky any of them would be to have your affection, then they have less brains than I’ve given them credit for,” Marigold added.
Evie felt the flicker of a smile at Shepherd, Asher and Gabe being referred to as ‘boys’, and felt a rush of affection for these women, who had come barging in to rescue her from herself. Tears pricked at her eyes, but for the first time in days, they weren't tears of self-pity or shame.
"I don't know what I'd do without you all," Evie said softly, managing a wobbly smile.
"Well, you'll never have to find out," Posy declared, pulling Evie into a tight hug. The others quickly joined in, enveloping Evie in a tangled group embrace.
As they pulled apart, Evie took a deep breath, feeling some of the tension she'd been carrying start to ease. She wasn't magically fixed - there was still a lot to deal with - but for the first time in days, she felt like maybe, just maybe, she could face it after all.