10. Cordelia
My skin feels like it’s burning over my muscles as Kai and some tramp dance together. I have no reason to be jealous. She’s probably really nice, and he’s my friend, but tonight, I wanted to make him see what he was missing. To see there is something between us.
I thought it would be fun to go to a club while we’re in Vegas. I’ve never been much for gambling, but I’ve heard some crazy things about the club scene. The rumors were right. It’s wild in here. Someone’s snorting a line off a woman’s boobs, people are making out everywhere, and couples are grinding all throughout the dance floor.
The man I’m dancing with is cute. He’s someone I probably would have gone for if Kai wasn’t right there. But he is. My plan to be alone with Kai is backfiring spectacularly. The goal was to make him jealous, not push him on to another woman. I look up at…I already forgot his name and glance at his lips. My brain goes to another option, and I lean in, thinking it might work, but jealousy is not the way I want Kai and I to start.
I take a step back from what’s his face and pat his shoulder. He seems to get the picture and walks away from me. I approach Kai and his girl, crossing my arms. He immediately releases her, and I shoot the girl a look. She sneers at me, and I roll my eyes. Kai grabs my elbow, looking at me with concern.
“Are you okay?” he asks.
I nod and lean into him, making sure the girl sees me whisper into his ear. “I’m ready to go.”
Kai nods, sliding his hand to my back, and politely says goodbye to the girl, gently pushing us forward. His large, warm hands land on either side of my hips as he stays in step with me until we exit the dance floor, then he drops them and steps in front of me to pave the way out of the club.
When we exit the club, Kai smiles down at me. “It seems like you had a good time.”
I nod. “I did, but the night’s not over yet. We still have access to the spa. We should go.”
He groans and tosses his arm around my shoulders. “You just can’t let a man get some sleep. Sure, Cordi, if that’s what you want.”
Smiling, I step in closer, putting my arm around his waist. “It is, and we can sleep when we’re dead.”
He chuckles. “Well, then, let’s go see what this spa is all about.”
I stare up at his profile, trusting him to guide the way through the throngs of people. It might be the early hours of the morning, but it doesn’t matter in a place like this. The club didn’t go the way I wanted it to, but there’s still one more card up my sleeve, and I told myself no holds barred, all in.
***
It’s two o’clock in the morning as I walk out to the beautiful pool and hot tub area. Rafe, Casey, and Deacon are littered around the space, laughing with girls with drinks in their hands. The night sky glitters despite the light pollution over the giant kidney-shaped pool overlooking the Las Vegas strip, with a massive hot tub on each end. Individual cabanas line the edge of the pool closer to the building, while lounge chairs on the other side sit closer to the railing.
My confidence was shaken at the club, and I had to work up the nerve to try again. I refuse to let myself chicken out. I should have… I don’t know, kissed him or tell him I want you. This is what I get for trying to entice a man who is entirely oblivious to the fact his best friend is head over heels in love with him.
Kai walks over to one of the chairs lining the large hot tub. I hesitate to follow and look over my shoulder at the other guys. Rafe and Casey are sitting on a stool in the pool at the poolside bar. You can do this, Cordi. You’ve got this.
I push out my chest, square my shoulders back, lift my chin up, and put every bit of sway in my hips I can without looking awkward. I feel ridiculous in my one-piece with jean shorts and flip-flops because the other girls are in heels and bikinis, but this is the only swimsuit I have. So I shrug it off and drop my stuff next to Kai’s. His head lifts, and he looks up at me from the hot tub. I commence with mission no longer friends, and pull off my crocheted beach tank top and toss it on my towel. Kai’s arms are stretched out across the ledge, and he watches as I flip the button of my shorts and shimmy them down my curvy hips. I’m by no means a stick-figure girl like the ones walking around here. I have a bit of a belly, but I take good care of myself. I can’t help it if my whole family has big boobs. It’s genetics.
I kick off my flip-flops and toss my jean shorts onto the chair. Kai’s eyes feel like they are burning trails over my skin, but I keep my chin up and look him directly in the eye. I. Will. Not. Chicken. Out. I decide to let my reckless heart take control. Of all people to let go with, I know I’m safe with Kai.
He finally sits up and drops his arms. “Hey, gem. I was wondering where you were. I thought you might have changed your mind,” he says with that raspy voice I want to hear in my ear.
“Hey, nope, it just took me an extra minute.” Because I was giving myself a pep talk in the mirror.
He watches me descend the stone steps into the hot water. My muscles tense immediately but then relax. I make myself comfortable across from him. I have to slow play this, so I can figure out where his head is at, otherwise I really won’t have a chance.
He leans his head back and takes a deep breath. My skin prickles with the heat, but it feels good. I play with the bubbles the jets make when, all of a sudden, water splashes in my face.
“Hey!” I bark, glad I took my makeup off, or I’d look like a raccoon right now. Kai chuckles and I wipe my eyes before glaring at him. The surrounding ambient lighting creates a warm, soft bubble around us. Music plays in the background, but I hardly hear it.”What was that for?”
He shrugs and puts his arms back up on the edge. “You seem a little uptight about something. I thought it might help you relax.”
“Oh, nope. I’m fine,” I say and glance at him. He’s frowning at me, and I raise my brow, giving him the look. “What?”
“Nothing, nothing at all,” he says.
I’m messing all of this up. Everything is awkward, and I’m ruining it. Get it together, Cordelia.
“You did really good today,” I say quietly. “You about gave me a heart attack, but you killed it.”
The corner of his mouth tips up, and he shrugs one shoulder while looking over at the pool. It’s the truth, but the air feels awkward, and I need to break it before I ask the harder question.
I take a deep breath and wade over to sit down next to him. “Kai?”
He hums and turns his head, looking me in the eye. My heart is about to pop out of its cavity, and my vision narrows. He means so much to me, but I don’t know if we will be able to stay friends after this. This is a big risk, and I could be ruining years of friendship, but I’m leaning into my reckless nature after holding myself back for over a decade. I can’t wait anymore.
“Yeah, gem? What’s wrong?” he asks.
I gulp.
“Why didn’t you kiss me last night?” I ask him.
“Gem,” he says roughly, putting his palm on my face.
“I don’t understand, Kai. I may not have ever said it to your face, so I’m saying it now. I love you. I’ve loved you for a long time, and I think you love me, too, but—“ My voice breaks, and I take a shaky breath on the edge of tears. I didn’t want to cry. I still don’t, but how can I not when the love of my life is looking at me with pity? “Why won’t you let yourself love me back?” I ask thickly.
His hand stays on my face and swipes at a tear that slips down my cheek. Dammit. This is not the time for comfort. This is the time to make a move. So I do.
I crash my lips against his before he has a chance to say anything, and I swear my entire body, my soul, sighs. He groans into my mouth and slips his tongue between my lips while his other hand slips underwater to my side, squeezing my ribs. I wrap my arms around his neck to get as close as I can, sinking into the moment I have dreamt and fantasized about for years. Then he rips his mouth away and drops his hands. His lips are puffy, and his eyes are…I can’t read him. I don’t know what he’s thinking, and my chest gets tight. “Kai,” I gasp.
He shakes his head and swallows hard. Then he stands, and ribbons of water cascade down his taut stomach. I’m not even looking out of attraction. I just don’t understand what’s going on.
“I can’t do this, gem. We can’t do this, we can’t…we can’t be this. I’m sorry.” Then he climbs out of the water, disappearing from sight.
My whole body is frozen despite the hot tub. My eyes aren’t burning. I’m not crying like I thought I would with this response. No, it’s...nothing. I feel nothing. I am numb, and I don’t care. I got my answer. It’s not the one I wanted, but it’s the reality. So what do I do?
Rafe walks past me in his low-slung trunks and six-pack abs. He has close-cropped brown hair and tattoos running up and down his golden skin. All the guys are attractive, but I’ve only ever had eyes for one of them. I guess that doesn’t matter now. He winks and continues to the other side of the pool. Anger rises up hot and fast through me, and instead of crying, I want to do something else. So I lift my chin and step out of the hot tub like I own it.
I walk over to Rafe, smiling at him. “Hey, you did great today,” I say softly.
Something passes through his eyes, but he seems to shake it off. “Thanks, Cordelia. I appreciate it. I didn’t realize you were even watching me.”
“I was,” I say in a smoky tone.
He stares at me for a moment. “Can I get you a drink?”
I nod, and he steps down into the pool, holding his hand out to help me. We swim over to the poolside bar, and he floats down next to me onto a stool. I smile despite the rage coursing through my veins. But instead of letting it consume me, I use it.
“Daiquiri, please,” I tell him. He tells the bartender and orders himself a beer.
After a few sips, he leans forward. “I’m not trying to be rude, but you’ve hardly ever paid attention to me. I mean, I know I’m attractive and all, but…what gives?”
I swallow the scoff and bat my eyes at him. “I guess my panties, Rafe.” I smile, and then take another drink, my daiquiri almost gone. The liquid courage has helped quell the anger a bit. His mouth is open, and his eyes are wide. I smile and say, “Just because it seemed like I’ve never paid attention to you doesn’t mean I didn’t.”
“Cool,” he says and takes a swig of beer.
I giggle. “Yeah.”
“So uh…” he says, clearly at a loss for words. I’ve seen him with women. Typically, it’s him doing the smooth talking and leaving the girls speechless. I guess I have a way with words. I toss back the rest of my drink, lean forward, and meet his eyes. This may be a one-piece, but the front dips down to show off plenty of cleavage.
“Rafe, you can drop the small talk. We know each other. Maybe not that well, but I don’t really think it matters right now, does it?”
He grins and leans in, closing the space between us. “I don’t know, Cordelia, does it? You’re clearly the one in control here. Tell me what you want.”
He’s changing my mind about him very quickly. He’s a good rider, he’s full of himself, which is typically a turn-off, for really anyone, but tonight my body is entirely unbothered as warmth pools in my center, I lean forward, erasing the inches between us, and tilt my chin up to graze my lips against his.
“I want you,” I murmur against them.
He growls and grabs the back of my neck, hauling me to him. This man can kiss.
His tongue prods my lips, and I open for him. We groan at the sensation. I don’t feel the things I did with Kai, but that no longer matters. Those feelings no longer have a place in my heart or my mind. He grips my thigh and squeezes as I brace myself against his chest before pulling away. “I’m going to get us a room,” he says, a little breathless. I nod up and down in agreement, and his eyes flash fire. This might not be such a bad night after all.