Chapter 24
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Jess
I waited until I was certain he was gone before glancing behind me. Relief swept in, though the rope around my chest cinching tighter by the second didn’t loosen a bit.
“So that’s your ex…” Jo said, breaking the relative silence of the table.
“Yep.”
“He’s hot. I can see why you were attracted to him initially, anyway,” Elise said.
Dove shoved her. “Ew, no. He’s got that ‘I’m too sexy for this bar’ vibe about him.”
Winnie chuckled. “What is that vibe, exactly?”
Dove clucked. “Aw, you don’t know because you found a perfect man who is both humble and so hot he creates his own mirage. But it’s when a guy seems okay but then you realize he thinks you’re lucky to be talking to him. Could be in the way he glances around for better options or might be how he assumes you’ll leave with him if he wants you… they’re all the same in the end.”
I exhaled and sank onto the empty stool next to me. “I hate myself for ever falling for it.”
“Falling for him?” Catherine asked from her spot next to me.
A dry, humorless laugh emerged. “No. It. The act. The whole bill of goods he sold me for years. I’ve been pretty good at keeping myself from drowning in those ‘poor me’ thoughts for quite a while, but seeing him again is… honestly, it’s nauseating.”
Nikki slid a glass of ice water to me. I thanked her with a nod and drank up. Couldn’t afford dehydration on top of the dual-pronged breakdown I was having. First, my horrid, abandoning, cheating ex was here, and when face to face with him, I couldn’t pretend everything that went wrong was Beast’s fault, especially after recent developments.
And second, how dare Beast tell my ex-fiancé not to say my name? What gave him the right? Why did he even butt his grunting, confusing self into the conversation to begin with? What in his giant head told him he was invited to that conversation?
Not that I was all that mad he’d interrupted, or that I hadn’t had to deal with smarmier than ever Kurt on my own.
How had I ever liked that man well enough to let him kiss me, let alone propose?
Sometimes, I wanted to blast back in time and shake the me of a decade ago. I wanted to tell her to avoid the charmer and keep her head down. Focus on work and friendships and not fall into the trap Kurt had set.
And third, even though I just now realized there was a third—why was I almost angrier with Beast than I was with stupid cheater-face Kurt?
“Ladies, everyone okay?” Cookie stood next to me, his handsome face the picture of calm with a side of manly concern.
“Hey, Luc. Yeah, I think we’re all fine,” Jo said, the other girls agreeing.
All except Elise, who just blinked at the man until his gaze met hers and seemed to intensify. Her lips parted, and I could’ve sworn his eyes dropped to look, then he swallowed and nodded. “Glad to hear it. Have a good night.”
Cookie stepped away, and we all turned to Elise.
“What? We’re talking about you,” she said, fluttering her hands in my direction like she could sweep off our attention.
Dove grinned. “Oh, no, friend. I think we’re talking about you and Monsieur Jean-Luc.”
Her exaggerated French accent for Cookie’s name had all of us snickering.
“You did just have some rather intense eye contact.” Jo fanned herself. “Honestly, it’s the stuff of romance novels.”
Elise rolled her eyes. “Okay, seriously. I’m not available, even if there was some eye contact happening.” Her cheeks bloomed with a blush.
Jo sighed. “You’re single. And honestly, he’s…”
“Astoundingly attractive?” Dove submitted.
“Almost problematically handsome, I’d say,” Winnie said, glancing in the direction Cookie had gone.
“You know I think Bruce is about the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen, but I will fully admit Luc is almost unreal.” Nikki widened her eyes and we all nodded, even Elise. “The symmetry…”
“Not the point. Not even in the realm of points on a line or a plane or in a sphere or wherever else points can be. We’re shifting back to Jess to remind her she should feel her feelings about her past relationship, but not guilt herself over them.” Elise’s eyes sparkled with a knowing compassion. “Don’t let him showing up here drag you back. Move forward.”
My bruised little heart grappled for her words, grasping at them and clutching them close. I wanted to move forward. I wanted to never look back.
“I don’t have a lot of ex feelings, but as we all know I have a lot of feeling feelings and I just want to say… don’t get confused about what you’re actually feeling.” Dove had said something like this days ago when she and Elise came to dinner, too.
We could all read what she meant, because they’d seen me snap at Beast and give him the cold shoulder. And though they didn’t all know the recent revelation of his supposed love for me way back when, they knew I’d been with him over the weekend and that he’d taken care of me. And, better than I had, they seemed to know him . Not as the antagonistic force in my life, but as a man in their small town, a friend to their partners and even themselves.
“I’ll try,” I scraped out, wishing some amount of my tactical courage would rub off on the side of me that had to talk to Beast soon.
I had to, because if I didn’t, I was going to go crazy vacillating between angry and confused and this weird, twisty, excited feeling I was currently refusing to acknowledge.
Ethan Carter, Adam’s younger brother, wandered over and gave Jo a side hug. They were business partners since Jo had silently invested in Ethan’s coffee shop, Joe.
“How’s everyone liking the crazy crush of people in town already?” He looked around, eyes wide .
“I sold out by seven-thirty this morning. It’ll be great for business, but I’m already tired.” Elise slumped a little in her seat.
“That’s amazing! Aren’t you doing some catering at one of the events, too?” Winnie asked.
Elise winked at Ethan. “Actually, yes. We’re teaming up and doing a donuts and coffee thing before a press junket on Tuesday morning. I am incredibly stressed about it, so thanks for mentioning it.” She made a face.
We all chuckled, and Dove wrapped her arms around Elise in her special brand of unhinged koala hug. “You’re amazing and your donuts are amazing and everything is going to go… amazingly.”
Nikki raised her glass. “To the amazingness-cubed of Tuesday’s event!”
We all raised glasses, and since Ethan had carried his own pint along, he joined. When we’d all taken a drink and everyone began chatting, he paused, tripping over his words.
“Um—oh. Oh. Crap. That’s Jenna Halter.”
We all turned to look in the direction he was staring just in time to see Cookie wrapping the Jenna Halter in a very cozy hug.
“Whoa. How does Luc know her?” Jo asked.
“They seem pretty comfortable together,” Dove commented.
“Just a work thing. He kind of saved her life. They’re not dating.” I said it straight out because it was true, and also because I’d seen Elise’s face fall. We’d all just witnessed the incendiary eye contact minutes ago, and I didn’t want her to think he was the kind of guy running around charming everyone he met.
Not like Kurt, who was exactly that way .
“Sometimes, I forget all of you guys are actual heroes. It’s weird.” Dove eyed me like I might bite her.
I chuckled, glad for the reprieve from the ooze of nasty feelings coming at me from all sides tonight. “I promise we’re just humans. Most of us don’t even wear our spandex superhero outfits under our clothes all the time.”
She laughed, and a friend pulled Ethan away. We got wrapped up in talking about which celebrities we were excited to see, and the number of times Jack McKean came up had me laughing. I couldn’t tell them I’d be guarding him for at least part of the weekend, though they’d find out eventually, and I absolutely planned to troll them with a picture if the opportunity came up.
The night died down and I felt the shift in me. I couldn’t focus on my friends or the frenetic energy pulsing in the bar or town. I couldn’t keep my mind on the conversation here or make idle small talk with the Blackthorne team after discovering Kurt was a central part of it and feeling him haunt whatever corner of the bar I studiously kept my attention from.
So I left a little early, promising I’d see them all soon, and promising myself I’d confront Beast with full honesty after the gala. We’d planned on it, and I’d tried to keep my distance because I couldn’t find the right words. For a woman who was fairly even-keeled, I couldn’t find a middle ground between angry and hurt. I just ping-ponged between them and felt. Felt. Felt.
It was exhausting, but soon, work would get too busy to think about anything else. And the next time I had a break, I’d get answers from Beast and finally put all of this to bed.