Chapter 25
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Water wasn’t strong enough to wash away this kind of regret.
Noah stared into his glass, wishing it contained something that could dull the sharp edges of his thoughts. But he’d never been a drinker, not even when life had given him every reason to start.
The kitchen was too quiet. Upstairs, Delaney was probably gathering her things, preparing to walk out of their lives forever. He’d done that. He’d pushed away the one person who’d brought light back into this house, who’d somehow managed to crack through Charlotte’s walls and earn her trust.
And for what? A merger that might still fall apart? But generations of Ayletts had built this family’s legacy. He couldn’t let it slip away on his watch.
How did Delaney not understand that?
Approaching footsteps pulled him from his thoughts. Not the light tread of the woman whose presence he craved, but heavier, a harbinger.
Jasper appeared in the doorway, looking irritatingly at ease in a faded T-shirt and plaid pajama pants.
His hair was slightly damp, his skin was a burnished bronze, proof he’d spent the last six months in the sun, on beaches or yacht decks, a drink in one hand, the other wrapped around the waist of some woman whose name he probably didn’t even know.
While Noah dealt with his mess.
But there was something different about Jasper—wrinkles around his eyes that Noah hadn’t noticed at the police station. A heaviness in his demeanor that wasn’t like him.
Holding an empty lowball glass, he leaned a shoulder against the doorjamb. “You’ve done a great job with Charlotte. She looks…healthy.”
“Amazing what happens when a kid feels loved.”
His jaw tightened. “I saved your life tonight. Maybe cut me a little slack.”
Noah should, probably. But he was tired and grieving the loss of Delaney. He needed all his energy to focus on his own self-loathing. “What do you want, Jaz?”
Jasper moved past him, headed for the refrigerator. “I don’t think Charlotte had any idea what happened tonight. I didn’t explain it to her, obviously, just told her it was grown-up stuff and she could trust you to take care of her.”
“Which I will. Just like I’ve been doing.”
Jasper glared at him for a long moment. Then he pulled out a bottle of orange juice and drank straight from it.
“Seriously? Use a glass.”
Jasper raised an eyebrow but complied, reaching for the glass he’d set on the counter. He filled it with juice. “Sorry, didn’t realize I was still twelve…and you were still Mom.”
The casual mention of their mother sent a fresh wave of anger through Noah.
“What are you doing here? You show up out of nowhere, save the day, then put Charlotte to bed as if you care. But what happens tomorrow, huh? When you find some party that’s more important than your daughter.
I know what happens. You hop on the first flight and disappear until spring. ”
Jasper stared at him, a thousand emotions crossing his features, emotions Noah didn’t recognize on his wastrel brother’s face.
“I might be a useless piece of garbage—”
“I never said—
“—but at least I’m not an idiot.”
Noah snorted. “Jury’s still out.”
Jasper finished his orange juice, then slammed the glass down on the granite countertop. “That woman upstairs is amazing. She was holding Charlotte behind her, keeping her safe. Ready to die protecting her. And you’re sending her away?”
“You were listening? What are you, ten? We were having a private conversation.”
“And I was having a drink in the living room. Not my fault you didn’t see me.”
The lights were off in the living room. Why had Jasper been sitting in the dark?
“I heard enough to know you’re getting rid of her. What is she? A girlfriend?”
“She lives here.”
Jasper’s eyebrows rose, the expression saying, And?
Noah stepped back, needing distance so he didn’t take a swing at him. “I wouldn’t be shacking up with her under any circumstances, but certainly not with Charlotte in the house.”
“I know.” Jasper cracked a smile. “Just trying to get under your skin. So what’s the problem with the hot nanny?”
“People are starting to talk. After what you’ve done…” He hated to admit his part but added, “And the rumors surrounding my divorce, there’s been a lot of scandal associated with the Aylett name. It’s getting in the way of a merger—”
“Oh, for—” Jaz cut himself off, probably keeping himself from uttering some foul curse. “You’re going to lose that woman for the sake of money?”
“One of us has to work. We both know it’s not going to be you.”
Something dark and brooding settled over Jasper’s features, out of place on his usually carefree face. “You think I don’t know what it’s like to make difficult choices? You think it hasn’t been killing me to be so far from my daughter?”
Noah stared at his brother, thrown by the intensity in his voice. This wasn’t the happy-go-lucky Jasper he’d known. There was something else there—something Noah couldn’t identify.
But at the end of the day, whatever choices Jasper thought he faced, he always chose wrong.
“I’m trying to save our family’s legacy.” Noah was too tired to have this argument again tonight. “I’m trying to save everything Dad worked for.”
“You have no idea what I’ve done to try to make up for Dad’s death.”
Jasper’s words deflated all of Noah’s righteous indignation. He took a step toward his brother. “Dad’s death wasn’t your fault. He should have been more careful.”
“That’s not what you said at the time.”
“I know.” At the time of the accident, he’d called his brother an irresponsible fool. Which, to be fair, Jasper had been. He’d also been a kid.
It wasn’t his fault Dad had barreled up from belowdecks when he’d felt how fast their yacht was going.
It wasn’t Jasper’s fault that Dad hadn’t worn a life jacket.
It wasn’t Jasper’s fault that Dad hadn’t heeded his own warnings, warnings he’d given the boys a thousand times, to pay attention when the ship was in full sail.
Dad had been too focused on getting to Jasper to ream him out.
Jaz had been fifteen years old. All the things Noah had said to Delaney came back to him now. He’d been a child. Yes, older than eight, but certainly not an adult. Somebody should have been watching out for Jasper.
Deep down, Noah had always thought he should have been watchful. That he should have noticed the speed. He’d been too wrapped up in his date in her bikini to pay attention.
The wind picked up. The sailboat flew across the waves. Dad came upstairs…
It was an accident. Just an accident.
He took another step toward his brother. “I know,” he said again. “I did blame you, but I shouldn’t have. It wasn’t your fault. I know that now.”
“Of course it was.” Jasper’s words were low and vehement.
“And I’m trying…” He took a breath, then a step back.
“The point is, Delaney is great with her. Charlotte spent our entire time together telling me how much she loves her. So I don’t care what big freaking deal you’re putting together, it’s not more important than Charlotte. ”
“Said the man who’s going to leave on the first flight out.”
“I never said—”
“Didn’t have to.” Fury and frustration warred inside Noah.
He should shut up now. He should go to bed, but he was too tired to dig down for self-control.
“You’re my brother, Jaz. And I love you.
But you’re the one who leaves. The son, the brother, and now the father who leaves.
So don’t tell me what I should do. I’ll be the one to put Charlotte back together after you take off, after you’ve disappointed her—again. ”
The expression that crossed Jasper’s face had Noah regretting his words the instant they were out of his mouth.
Everything he’d said was true. But Jasper was hurting. He’d been hurting since that awful day twenty years before.
“Look,” Noah said, “I’m just saying—”
“No.” Jasper lifted a hand to silence him. “You’re right. I’m the one who leaves. You’re the perfect big brother who’s going to sacrifice everything to save a house filled with ghosts. Good luck with that.”
He brushed past Noah and stalked out.
Leaving Noah to stew in his own poor choices.