Chapter 17
seventeen
Mateo
I work from home the next day, spending more time watching the cats napping and bunnies chewing their hay than I should, considering how I can get these furry dudes into forever homes.
“Time to exercise,” I say to the fuzzballs.
It’s too quiet, so I connect my phone to a speaker and pull up Nessa’s latest podcast episode. The sound of her voice makes me feel like we’re together.
“Welcome to Flicking the Bean with Rabin,” she says after the intro music, “where we dive into the relationships women have with sex and themselves. I’m Doctor Nessa Rabin, and as always, this podcast contains explicit content not intended for anyone under eighteen.
So, if you’re listening to this and not a legal adult, please hit Pause and come back in the future. Thanks!
“Now that we’ve gotten that part out of the way, today’s topic was sent in by listener ‘Diamonds and Dildos.’ Awesome. Let’s dive in!”
While she talks, I grab the little mouse toys and the laser pointer off my desk and open the cat apartments.
The kittens tentatively step onto the tower I’ve added for them to climb and scratch, then one by one, they leap down and explore.
In the background, Nessa continues to speak to her listeners.
“Hey Dr. Nessa! Thanks for taking the time to read my note.”
“Aw, of course, dear.”
“I’m a longtime listener and a first-time writer. I’m recently engaged to the love of my life, and a few weeks ago, we moved in together.
“I was unpacking and he opened the box I’d packed my toy collection in, thinking it was something else.
He’d never seen them before. I should probably mention we come from pretty conservative families, so some in our circle consider this a taboo subject.
One thing led to another, and we had a huge fight where he insisted I throw them all away.
If you ask me, he just feels threatened. ”
“What do you think, kitten? I can guarantee Nessa’s got great advice for her,” I say, scratching the soft fur of the orange and cream cat who’s rubbing against my thigh.
Her reader continues. “When I refused, he argued that I now have ‘unlimited access’ to him. I hoped to defuse with humor, joking about his inability to vibrate, but all that did was make things worse. I want to have a mature conversation about this. Help!”
“Aw, Dphoto
Meet Horney. She’s the runt of the litter, but what she lacks in size, she makes up for with attitude.
Ivy:
What are you doing? eyes emoji
Mateo:
Bonding with my new housemates.
Returning Horney to her home, I search the internet for more inspiration. I’ve sent over one I named Gotti because there’s both John Gottman, a therapist, and John Gotti, the mob boss.
Mateo:
Meet Gotti. Is he John Gottman? John Gotti? It’s New Jersey; it could be either.
Ivy:
Very Tony and Dr. Melfi of you.
You’re acting loopy tonight. Maybe you should see Dr. Melfi next.
Mateo:
bunny photo
Please help name us. We’re scared.
Ivy:
Carl blond facepalm emoji
Mateo:
Okay, and Alice?
Ivy:
link: Alice Miller
Mateo:
So she, like, stood up for kids who were abused?
Ivy:
More or less.
Mateo:
That’s dope.
This is when it hits me: I should be sending cute animal thirst traps.
I toss my shirt across the room, then prop the phone up and put the timer on.
A few minutes later, like déjà vu, she blows into my home like a tiny tornado, her ample chest heaving with her rapid breaths. In a trench coat that’s come loose and?—
I swallow thickly, taking her in. Is that a hint of something sheer and lacy?