Chapter Fourteen
I took time to get some food and another cup of coffee before heading into my office with Kyle and Xavier. I’d asked Mandeep to find Ren, Jamie, Max, and Russ and bring them to the office. If we were going to get that virtual pack up and running, we needed people to run it.
Xavier scowled as he stood beside my desk. “Anax, with respect, may I ask a question?”
“Yes, speak freely.” Since he was usually the quietest of my guards, I figured whatever was on his mind had to be important.
“Ren is very new to being a werewolf.” He clasped his hands in front of him. With one forefinger, he tapped the back of the other hand. I wasn’t sure he knew he was doing it. “He hasn’t found his footing yet. He shouldn’t have responsibility for others yet. It might be too much for him.”
“Xavier.” I was a little irked, but he was only saying this because he cared about Ren.
“With equal respect to you, that’s a choice for Ren to make.
If he doesn’t feel that he can fill the role of moderator for this group Kyle’s putting together, I certainly won’t force him.
I want to make the opportunity available to him and hear what he thinks about his own ability to handle it. ”
“Yes, Anax.”
“Your opinion is valued too.” I perched on the edge of the desk closest to him. “Is he your mate, Xavier? Or simply someone to whom you feel attracted? Either way, your wish to protect him is understood and supported.”
“I believe he is my mate, Anax.” Lowering his gaze, Xavier spoke softly. “Something about him calls to me. Makes me feel like a missing part of myself has come back to me. Is that what the mate bond feels like?”
“For some of us, yes.” I hesitated. Interfering in others’ love lives was absolutely not my place, even if one of them was my guard and the other was under my direct rule. “Does he know? Have you talked to him about it?”
I nodded. “He felt it too, so I explained. But that’s as far as it goes for now. Like I said, he is very new to this life. He has a lot to recover from. I want to be his friend. If we develop into more…Well, I hope we will, but if we don’t, I’ll accept that.”
“That’s an incredibly loving and respectful way to handle it,” I said. He turned his head, eyes wide, and I smiled. “Xavier, Ren will be living with us. You know that.”
“Yes, Anax, and I’ll give him whatever amount of time and space he needs.
” He sighed and raised his chin slightly.
“I’ve heard others talk about the mate bond.
Never completely believed the whole ‘you know instantly’ thing until I saw Ren and felt that connection, that missing piece sliding into place.
I didn’t know if I would ever find my mate.
Some don’t. And I sure never thought it would be a man. ”
“You’re free not to answer this,” I said. “Or to tell me it’s none of my damn business. How do you identify? I’m asking partly because of the requirements to be part of the virtual pack.”
“I never really took the time to think about that before.” He looked at Kyle, who was silently sitting in one of the chairs in front of the desk. “How did you know who you are?”
“I’ve always known,” Kyle said. “Never had crushes on girls. Only other boys. For me, it was pretty obvious.”
“I was never completely sure, but I grew up in a different time,” I said. “I was attracted to guys, but I thought some girls were cute, too. I call myself gay, but some might say I’m bi.”
“I’ve said it,” Kyle muttered.
I gave him a look, and he chuckled. “Point being,” I said, “that no one can tell you who you are except yourself, Xavier. If you haven’t thought it through yet, and if you never do, that’s valid.”
He shrugged. “I’m interested in Ren. Do I need to label that? Ren is Ren, he’s my mate, and I don’t want anyone else.”
“You don’t need to label anything.” Nor did he have time to, as the door opened and the others walked in, with Mandeep right behind them.
I quickly explained to all of them, including Xavier, that we needed people we could trust to run the group.
Russ and Jamie immediately agreed to be moderators.
So did Ren, despite Xavier’s obvious disapproval, so I invited Xavier to take the role as well.
He couldn’t prevent Ren from being one of the people in charge of the group, but I could at least position him to help protect Ren if need be.
Even with Russ being on board, Max declined the role, but I planned to ask Trey Damone if he was willing to step in.
Hell, maybe I did need to open the group to the Canadian werewolves.
Not Silas, even though he’d come out to me recently as asexual and aromantic.
For the same reason I didn’t want to be part of the group, I didn’t think it would be beneficial to have Silas involved.
Malachi almost definitely wouldn’t want anything to do with it, but Quinn might, and he could probably take on a leadership role.
Having him, with his ability to judge people’s emotions and intentions through the “colors” he saw around them, as one of the people in charge of the group would truly benefit the group’s members.
After I dismissed everyone, I had only minor issues to deal with for most of the afternoon.
Kyle stuck around, listening and observing without a word, which I appreciated.
Alphas showed up, some requesting to be added to the support group for newer alphas, a couple complaining that the group was only for newer alphas.
I ignored the complaints. The alphas who had been in their rank longer than two or three years might also need support, but most of them had formed alliances and friendships and already had people to speak to when they needed.
The three newest arkhons came in together to thank Kyle and me for establishing a group for them, though as Desmond pointed out, with so few, there wasn’t really a need for a separate group.
We chose to move forward with a video chatroom for them anyway, because as Kyle said, there could be other uses for it at some point.
Moving away from his “virtual city with neighborhoods,” Kyle now described the concept as a virtual region, containing multiple “packs,” and as someone with a tech background, I kind of liked the imagery.
Of course, none of the groups were actual packs.
Each werewolf belonged to a physical pack with a power structure, and we couldn’t belong to more than one pack or follow more than one Arkhon or Alpha.
Not without a whole lot of blustering and power struggles, anyway.
But using terminology that everyone was accustomed to would make it easier to explain how the groups would run.
Since we hadn’t gotten around to the arkhons’ and alphas’ reports on the states of their regions and territories, some came to me during the afternoon to present the information they’d intended to present during the meetings.
I heard about conflicts within a few packs but was glad to hear that Canyon Pack had turned things around and repaired the “fractures” that Conrad Valente had mentioned to me a year ago.
The other issues sounded like things that were easily managed, and I recommended that the alphas speak to their arkhons and then return to me if they needed more assistance.
By the end of the afternoon, I was ready to be away from everyone.
Too many people, too many discussions. Too many decisions to make.
I wouldn’t get much of a break because of the time constraints I’d set on getting ready for the hunt, but I asked Mandeep to spread the word that I was no longer available, and Kyle and I hurried up the stairs to our suite.
With the door closed, neither of us spoke, just stripped and got onto the bed.
A twinge of horniness hit me, but I ignored it.
Sure, I wanted my mate to fuck me again, but right now wasn’t the time.
I just needed peace in his embrace for a little while before I had to go be in charge of hundreds of werewolves running around my property looking for game.
He didn’t hold me tightly, but feeling his skin against mine helped push away the stress and demands I’d faced that day. Our breathing synced, and while I didn’t completely doze off, I drifted into a state somewhere between sleep and waking.
After a little while, he said, “You’ve done it. Most of it. The hunt will happen, and then everyone will go home, and you’ll have run your first national gathering.”
“Yeah. And I survived.” I took a deep breath. “Barely.”
“You survived.” He hugged me. “Focus on that, and forget the barely part.”
“We still have to get through the hunt.” That would be the logical time if anyone else was going to try to get me out of the way.
I didn’t want to think about that.
“We’ll get through the hunt.” Kyle said firmly. “There is no other possibility. We’ll get through it.”
We went downstairs nude, since nudity, especially on hunt nights, was not only accepted but expected.
Our clothes didn’t shift, after all. People were clustered in groups of two to a few.
I sensed no true anger or belligerence, only the tension and anticipation that was common on full moon nights.
We got plates of food and ate as we’d been doing, at the dining room table, while guests filtered around us.
Some stopped to greet me, and some of those even extended the greeting to Kyle, but none tried for any conversation.
At six o’clock, the first floor of the house was jammed with far too many people in far too high a state of agitation.
After witnessing a head-on collision between two guys who almost came to blows, I gave the permission to go outside.
Kyle and I finished our meals and joined our guests on the lawn.