Chapter 25
Alexander
The tension in the room is so thick you could cut it with a butcher knife.
My muscles are coiled as I wait for her to explode. I keep darting my gaze from her to the cup sitting on the counter beside her, waiting for the second she reaches for it and launches it at my head. When she exhales and slides off the counter to stand before me, I don’t move. I stand here rigidly waiting. I feel like I’m waiting for one of my enemies to make a move against me when in reality, I think I’m more scared of the five-foot-five blonde standing before me who has no trouble bringing me to my knees whenever she so pleases.
She reaches out and places a hand on my chest. I flinch on instinct expecting pain. When she flicks her gaze up and I see the torment in her eyes my breath hitches.
“Okay.” The weight and anguish in that one word nearly flays me open on the spot. I attempt to reach for her but she sidesteps my touch. I frown but she shakes her head. “You need to close the door on your past before you can fully open the door to the future you could have with me.” When she takes a step away from me, I grab her arm, forcing her to stop but she won’t face me.
“What the fuck does that mean?” I hiss.
“It means you need to work out what really matters to you. You told me to never go out and flirt with a guy to make you jealous or you would kill him. Imagine how I feel right now, hearing that you’re about to meet with your ex—hang on, no sorry your ex-fiancée .”
I release my hold on her as if she burned me. “Tatum, this meeting with her is just a distraction—” She whirls around and faces me, her eyes burn with unfiltered anger.
“I don’t care what it is,” she yells. “Not only are you meeting with your ex, you’re about to kill my brother so forgive me for not being overjoyed by your plan, Alex.” She runs a hand through her hair in frustration. “A sibling for a sibling, right?” she says quietly before stalking out. I don’t attempt to stop her because no matter what I say, I won’t be able to take her pain. I grip the edge of the counter and hang my head, never before have I ever been so conflicted when it came to executing a plan.
“Omen went after her.” I turn my head to the side to see Vat and Halo standing there. I nod, unable to formulate words. “She’s eighteen, Alex. This is a lot for anyone to handle. She’s still young and saying things she doesn’t mean.” I appreciate Vatican trying to help but his words mean nothing.
“Her age means nothing,” I grit out.
“You’ve had years of time to live and experience shit, she’s still young and falling in love with anyone is hard, but falling in love with The Butcher is a fucking tough pill to swallow. The child in her still yearns for the family she was denied. The man she is in love with is about to kill the only person that matters most to her.”
I glare at Halo. “He killed my sister,” I growl in a tone that has him raising his hands in surrender.
“All I’m saying is, do you think she will be able to look at you when you come home with her brother’s blood on your hands?” Halo doesn’t wait around for a reply. Vat meets my stare with an intense look in his eyes.
“Take it from someone who fell in love with a girl that I never got a chance to tell how I really felt. Don’t allow your thirst for vengeance to outweigh what could be your future. She’s good for you, Alex, and I would give anything to have a shot with Ellie again, but you're pissing away your chance with an amazing girl. Don’t blow it, because living with regret is worse than death.”
* * *
I find myself standing here, watching her sleep again. The peaceful look on her face calms the beast inside me. I would give anything to slide under those sheets and devour her pussy like it's my last meal, but getting lost in her won’t solve the problems we both face. She needs to know that I can’t allow him to live even if he is her brother. I care about her deeply but my feelings toward her won’t change the outcome.
I take one last lingering look at her and hope that she will be able to forgive me for what I am about to do. Last night we used each other as an escape, we may be angry and hurting but that just fueled the need to fuck and made sex crazy, hot and fucking messy. She wanted to take control last night but I refused, she needed to be reminded what it was like to be owned and dominated by me. I felt every ounce of her anger last night, the way she took it out on my dick was fucking incredible. She had me busting a nut like a teenage boy.
The second I step outside, I close off all my emotions, my head needs to be clear and in the game. Carlito Vatel has given his word to back the Denver Kings and not to come to the De Santis’s aide if they call. The Torrence, Vanchino and Merkule families have also agreed to stay out of it. Their conditions were all the same, they wanted to know the true face of The Butcher. When I announced who I was, they were outraged that all these years they had met me but had no idea I was the one picking off their top guys and forcing them to bend the knee to Desire before I left. With the four of them out of the game, this will be a fight that will come down to who wants it more and win.
Devon’s intel has proven good. At this time the De Santis family outnumbers us three to one. The odds aren’t great but unlike Desire, all my men have been trained like real soldiers. They know how to blend, hunt, shoot, fight and if needed, they know how to end themselves so they aren’t used to extract information. That is a last resort only. I may be private and quiet when it comes to my life, but not when it concerns knowing everything about each person who joins our ranks. When leaders grow too cocky and stop vetting every person who joins them, that’s how you get rats.
If you treat your men well and listen to what they have to say, as well as compensating them accordingly, they will remain loyal. Never give anyone a reason to turn against you. I’ve had that happen before in the De Santis family when Desire took over, killing my own men isn’t something I relish.
When I reach the main house, I don’t bother going inside. I head around the front to see my brothers waiting for me. Adrian, Marko and Damon are waiting as well. They will be the heads of the three teams we have put together. Each one of them is kitted out with firearms, knives and Kevlar vests. I run my gaze over each of them. Pope and Omen look ready to fight. Halo and Vatican both have blank looks on their faces which tells me they are in the zone and keeping out of their heads. Adrian, Marko and Damon all nod, letting me know they are ready to go. Carnage is the last to draw my attention, unlike the others he stands there looking at me with uncertainty.
“If you aren’t ready to commit to this a hundred percent, then you need to back out now, I won’t have you being a liability for the rest of us,” I say in an even tone.
He releases a breath and shakes his head. “Alex, she gave you two weeks.” I quirk a brow urging him to continue. “You know she is a liar, she would have attacked you by now and taken you off guard.”
“She doesn't know where we are,” Omen states.
Car keeps his gaze on me as he answers. “Something isn’t right, brother. I can feel it in my gut. I know her and?—”
“You want to be a pussy, then fuck off back inside and stay here with Tate,” Halo snaps.
Carnage shoots him a scathing look. “I’m no fucking pussy. Out of all of us, I’m the one who knows that cunning bitch the best and I am telling you something is off.” I mull over his words for a minute and debate changing the plan.
“Alex, we have the men in place waiting for us in Chicago. She has no idea we are coming, now is the time to strike,” Pope hedges.
I nod in agreement but now that Carnage has voiced his worries, I can’t stop thinking he may be right. “Let’s go.” I find myself saying. Car sighs and shakes his head but climbs into one of the cars. I move to follow the guys, but Halo places a hand on my chest and flicks his head to something behind me. I slowly turn and follow his gaze to see Tatum standing in the shadows by the house looking… nervous.
“Say goodbye. I’ll send the others ahead and wait for you in the car,” Halo says. I nod, then head toward her slowly. She really does look like a deer caught in the headlights right now. I hate seeing the war of emotions in her eyes.
Pain.
Worry.
Anger.
… Love.
Before I can get too close she darts her arm and places her hand on my chest, forcing me to a stop. She cranes her neck back and stares up at me with glassy eyes. She’s fighting back her tears and I itch to reach out, cup her face between my hands and kiss her, wanting to ease her worries but I can’t. I won’t pity her.
“Don’t go,” she whispers.
My shoulders hunch. “Bambi?—”
“Just listen,” she says, cutting me off. I nod and watch as she inhales a deep breath and squares her shoulders. “I know what this means for you. I swear I do understand and if I was in your shoes I probably would be wanting the same thing. But I’m not in your shoes and you have a chance to change the outcome. I know what he did is unforgivable and despicable but he is still my brother.” I push her hand away and cup her face. A whimper escapes her when I bend down and claim her lips. Pain ricochets inside me when I pull back and rest my forehead against hers. She grabs my wrists in a vice-like hold and meets my gaze with a pleading edge.
“We’re at war, baby,” I say quietly. “I’ve always known I wouldn’t live to an age where I would get gray hair and I’ve made my peace with that.” Her brows draw in and her eyes brim with anguish. “Loving me is like loving time, you’ll never know how long you have. Today my hour glass might just run out but not before I set out to finish what I started three years ago.” Her eyes widen as my words slowly sink in. “I’m sorry, Tatum. My heart may now beat for you and you alone, but it beat for her first.” She tries to pull back but I don’t let go. “I love you, Tatum Lawson, but my heart isn’t in charge today, my head is, which means your brother will die by my hands.” I take a risk and place a chaste kiss to her lips, then release her. I turn my back and stalk toward the car, ignoring the sound of her crying.
I climb in the passenger seat and nod to Halo. He plants his foot on the gas and because I’m a masochist I look at the side mirror and watch as she drops to her knees and buries her face in her hands.
“You good?” Halo asks quietly.
“I think I just lost the only woman I have ever loved,” I admit.
He sucks in a sharp inhale. “Shit. I didn’t see that coming,” he mutters.
I shrug. “Yeah, neither did I.”
“If she feels the same, she’ll?—”
I cut him off before he could finish. “Don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“Make excuses. You and I both know that if we were in her shoes we would never forgive us either.” My anger and pain begins to blend inside me and it’s clouding my thoughts.
“Don’t fucking lash out at me, but Tate is here, in the flesh and breathing. Ellie isn’t. She would want you to be happy and we can all see Tate does that for you, brother. I’ve never seen you like this before. You stopped smiling when Ellie died, but that girl back there, she is bringing you back from the darkness you’ve been living in.”
I scrub a hand down my face and growl. “Enough. My decision is made. I promised my sister I would avenge her and that is what I’m going to do. I may be a piece of shit but even I don’t break my word. Nexus Valerian will die and that is final.”
He sighs beside me. “And Desire?”
Bloodlust blooms inside me and my mouth begins to water as the images of what I plan to do to her and Nexus run through my mind like a movie. “Her and Nexus will keep each other company while I work on them slowly.”
He exhales loudly and nods. “And the twins?”
I shrug. “That’s up to you guys.” He nods but I can see there is more he wants to say. “Spit it out, Halo.”
“Okay. I know what you have planned for Desire. I may hate Carnage but I could never kill him.”
I pick up what he’s putting down. “I’m not asking any of you to take part in what I have planned for her.” He visibly relaxes. “Will the four of you still be by my side when I finish this or will you all take the same stance as Tatum?”
Halo turns and looks at me with an angry scowl on his face. “You’re our brother. We’ll be by your fucking side until we’re all in wooden boxes or a glass jar burnt to a crisp. We’re with you always, brother.”