Chapter Thirteen
Aspyn
Molly drops the keys to my car into my hand and lets herself into the farmhouse. “I figured the lunch date was off after my brother kidnapped you. So, I was going to leave your car in the overnight lot like he asked, but then I got thinking about girl power and decided I was in no way going to listen to a man as he carried my friend off against her will,” she rolls her eyes, “even if he is my brother. So… what’s going on with you two, anyway?”
She’s saying a lot of words and I’m not sure I’m ready for any of them. My skin is tingling from the guys’ ‘massage’ and I think I’m a little exhausted from the emotional outburst I had earlier.
“Tell the truth, Molly,” Ranger groans. “You’re nosy. This has nothing to do with women empowerment.” He grabs a beer from the fridge and leans against the kitchen counter. There’s a new sense of relaxation on his face that wasn’t there before. I like it.
“Okay,” Molly smirks, “I’m a little nosy, but it’s warranted. You’re my brother and I deserve to know everything that happens.”
“Does that work in reverse? You never come into town alone. Something’s up.” He sips from the amber bottle he dwarfs with his giant hand.
“I’m just a girl being free.” Molly grins, though I know it’s fake. She’s much better at keeping her secrets than I am.
“Right,” Ranger sighs, “freedom.” I know he feels a sense of responsibility for Molly. He’s much older than her, and their parents passed when Molly was still relatively young, so Ranger took over a lot of the parenting duties after that.
“Oh, come on, big guy. I’m here, so visit with me. Ask me about work or my feather collection. I’m up to twenty-seven now.”
Ranger’s brows lower as though he’s unamused. “Twenty-seven feathers? What are you doing with all of them?”
“It’s a collection. You don’t do anything with a collection. You just collect it.” She laughs and glances up at Jake and Liam as they make their way into the kitchen shirtless and laughing.
“Oh, God! Am I missing the point of this entirely? Is there some kind of cult thing playing out here? Are the four of you fucking and making farmhouse babies?” Molly laughs and gasps playfully as she glances toward me. “You are, aren’t you? I thought you looked a little… disheveled.”
I ignore her insulting comment given the fact that I probably still have come in my hair. That and I figure there’s about three seconds here where we can either laugh along with her and let her believe her joke is ridiculous, or we can all stand here with wide eyes and shock until she believes what she’s said is the truth.
Unfortunately, we’re doing the second one.
Molly’s jaw drops. “Oh my God!” Her eyes widen and bulge bigger and bigger until she bursts. “Holy fuckballs! You guys are fucking! Is it really a cult?”
Ranger sets his beer on the back table and ushers her toward the door. “Okay, time for you to go.”
“What? I just got here! I need to know details.” Her tone is light and funny. “How does it work? Do you share one room? Do you always fuck together, or do you get separate time too? Who’s the alpha or does Aspyn tell everyone what to do?”
Ranger rolls his eyes and stands tall and wide with his arms crossed over his chest. He does this when he’s frustrated. “I love Aspyn. Turns out, Liam and Jake do too. That’s it. We’re figuring things out from there.”
“Yeah, I got that part, genius.” Molly laughs as she says, “I want to know the good stuff. Is there a sex schedule?” Her eyes dart to mine as though maybe I’ll have more information for her. “Do you have a favorite?”
I laugh nervously and all that warm euphoria that had sucked the anxiety away from me earlier is escaping fast. “We haven’t figured anything real out yet. I’m still probably leaving. I guess we’re just having fun right now.”
“Well, I think you should stay and see how this pans out. I would. In fact,” she hitches her hip and stares at Ranger, “I think you’re setting a great example, big brother. You’re right. I need to find three men to take care of me. I’ll be their queen, and they can feed me grapes and reset my internet when it goes out.”
Ranger rolls his eyes. It’s funny how far those two are apart in personality. Molly is light and free spirited where Ranger is the exact opposite.
“Go see your friend. I’m sure she misses you,” he groans.
“Yeah,” Molly smirks. “I’m sure you guys were just getting started on some fun and I interrupted, didn’t I?”
“No.” I lean in and hug her. “You’re never interrupting. I’d invite you for dinner, but like I said, I’m heading out soon. So…”
“Well, call me when you get to where you’re going. But really, if I were you, I’d stay. You kinda got it made here. And don’t worry, your secret lifestyle is safe with me.”
Secret lifestyle. I hadn’t thought of how weird the four of us would look living together, holding hands, having kids. In a small town like this, the rumors would circulate quickly. We’d be the people with that family. The people with a bunch of kids all raised in polyamory. I’ve heard of it before, but only for religious purposes, and I’m pretty sure they weren’t doing what the four of us were just doing. Though, I could be wrong.
I swallow down the added stress and nod as she makes her way toward the front door and out into the late afternoon sun. “Be safe,” I holler, “and you call me when you get where you’re going.”
She turns back and smiles wide. “You want to talk outside for a sec?”
I dart my gaze to the side, a little nervous about what she’s going to say. I want to help her, but I don’t know how. Hell, I can’t even help myself.
“Sure.” I head out the front door and onto the porch where the sun is setting low, coloring the sky a bright magenta and orange. When the door shuts and we’re on the front steps, I turn toward her with a knot in my stomach. “What’s up?”
“I’m going back home.”
“What?”
“ I know. Don’t judge me. But Ty called, and we talked things out. He’s really sorry and I think I overreacted.”
I’m trying to hold back the shock that’s creeping onto my face, but it’s no use. “No, you didn’t overreact. You guys have been having trouble for years. You said so yourself. You have to protect yourself, Molly.”
She sighs. “The other day, I was out for a walk, and I saw this couple outside. The guy was leaving for work, and she followed him outside to give him a kiss goodbye. That in and of itself is sweet, right?”
I nod, trying to figure where all this is going.
“But he didn’t take a peck. He grabbed her by the waist, pulled her in, and really kissed her. He kissed her like he needed that kiss more than she did. He kissed her like she mattered more than anything else that was about to happen in his day. And when she pulled away, he yanked her back in for more.” Molly looks toward the ground. “That was the same day Ty and I got into the fight. I feel like it was my fault. I saw that couple, I was feeling sad that I didn’t have that, and I overreacted.”
“You didn’t overreact. You saw something reasonable that you wish you had, Molly. You deserve someone who wants you as much as you want them. Do you really think Tyler is that guy?” I want to tell her he’s not going to change, that she’s wasted enough of her life on this toxic relationship, but it’s not my place.
She shrugs. “I don’t know. I just… I need to go home and figure things out. Running isn’t going to get me anywhere.”
I drag in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “You know I support whatever you decide. Just promise me,” I reach out for her hand, “promise me you’ll leave before things escalate again.”
She nods, but something tells me she’ll convince herself to stay no matter what. “I’d say I’d call you, but your cell goes straight to voicemail lately.”
“Yeah, my phone is in a river somewhere in Alaska. Maybe it’s in the stomach of a big bear,” I laugh. “I’ll see about getting a temporary line to check up on you.”
“You better. Shady bitches like us have to stick together.” She grins and hops off the front porch, making her way toward her car.
As she’s backing out, Ranger steps out onto the porch. “She’s in trouble, isn’t she?”
I glance up toward him with a heavy weight in my gut. I want to tell him everything, but I can’t. Molly trusts me, and I know how much trust matters. “She’s figuring things out.”
Ranger nods. “I know some bikers up in Colorado from back when I lived there with Molly. It’s like the second police force up there. I’ll have them check on her every once in a while.”
I don’t say anything because I don’t hate the idea of a few big dudes checking on my friend. I get that she loves Tyler, but I have a hard time believing he loves her the same way. Part of me hopes this biker dude or dudes Ranger knows will teach him a lesson.
The front door creaks open again and Jake and Liam step outside into the breezy afternoon. The air is spiced with a smoky, rustic scent of a nearby bonfire and the distant call of migrating birds.
“I just got a call from the rock guy,” Liam says, kissing the top of my head. “Jake and I are going to run out and pick up a load before dark. I’ll need it for the fireplace surround tomorrow.”
I nod as Liam and Jake kiss me one by one before stepping off the front porch and heading out in Jake’s truck. The natural action of their goodbye happens so quickly, that for a second, this feels less temporary and more permanent.
“Wait,” Ranger’s tone is deep and demanding. “Hold on for a second. I want you guys here to hear this.”
Liam and Jake turn back as my stomach clenches.
“What’s wrong?” Jake wraps his arm around me. “Everything okay?”
Ranger turns toward me. “Something is bothering me about all this.” He clears his throat. “I need to know exactly what Ryan said to you when your parents died.”
I get the feeling he’s mad at my brother, though I don’t know why. My limbs begin to shake. “I told you. I sent these awful texts and then my parents drove off the cliff. Ryan told me that I should run, and that it’s my fault.” I shrug and stare down at the wood on the porch. “He said when the cops find their phones, they’ll arrest me. It’s a ‘wrongful death’ thing or something. I…” My stomach shakes and my heart pounds against my chest as bile works its way up my throat. I’m going to be sick.
The guys look toward each other and then toward me. Their brows are narrowed, and they look angrier than they did a second ago. They should be angry. They know the truth now. They know what I’ve done.
“What?” Ranger’s face is contorted with anger. His eyes are narrowed, his fists are clenched, and his shoulders have stiffened. “I fucking knew it! That piece of shit!”
My heart pounds. “Why does it matter what Ryan told me anyway? It’s not his fault. It’s mine. I did this! I’m the one that made them so distraught that they couldn’t focus on the road!” Tears fall down my face in quick succession as I try to swallow them down. I hate that I cry so much. I hate that I cry at all. I hate that I haven’t turned myself in yet and that I haven’t owned up to what I’ve done.
Hell, it’s pretty clear I hate… me.
Ranger pulls me against his chest. “No, Aspyn. None of that’s true. I work with the law all day long, baby. A wrongful death implies that you intentionally drove them to death. You didn’t. If everyone who received a mean text went on to die, we’d have a jailhouse full of criminals. Your parents died because of an accident.” He mumbles something under his breath, but I don’t understand what he’s said.
“I know you want to think the best of me, Ranger, but it’s true. I Googled it.”
“Baby, whatever you Googled is wrong. A wrongful death in Alaska is a civil suit and not a criminal one. That’s the first thing. Second, if the district attorney wanted to pursue some other crime, they’d need to prove that you intentionally bullied your parents to the point of suicide, which you didn’t. You were having a valid disagreement, and they were driving in a rainstorm.” He holds both sides of my shoulders and stares straight at me. “That’s not intent to cause them bodily harm.”
I know Ranger works with the law, and I know his advice is worth a lot, but I also know he has feelings for me, and feelings cloud rational thinking.
“Ryan wouldn’t say something so haphazardly. He wouldn’t drive me away from my own town if he didn’t believe what he was telling me.”
Ranger shifts and crosses his arms. His teeth are clenched as he mutters, “Ryan had no right to plant all this in your head, and I need answers from him.”
“Hold on.” Liam lifts up his hand and steps forward as a cool breeze pushes across the porch, rocking the chairs like sunset ghosts have taken residence. “Something doesn’t make sense to me.”
“What’s that?” Jake turns toward Liam before taking my hand.
“Your brother has your parents’ phones. They recovered them when they recovered their car. I saw them in the lockbox when I made a deposit last week. Two phones in a Ziploc bag. I know they were your parents’ phones because of the cases. Your mom liked that sage green flower case, and your dad had that custom case with the picture of your mom on it. I figured he was keeping them in the lockbox because he wasn’t sure what else to do with them yet.”
What? Why would Ryan have their phones? He would’ve told me… right?
“Why would he lie to me about the phones?”
Liam glances toward the guys then back toward me. It’s as though they’ve all caught onto something I haven’t caught onto yet. He sighs as he says, “I don’t know, sweetheart, but something isn’t right.”
Liam has never ever once said the words ‘I don’t know.’ They’re not in his vocabulary. I once asked him what consciousness was and he looked at me straight faced and told me it was the footprint of my existence .
Who says stuff like that?
He then went on to explain all the levels of consciousness from shame to enlightenment. I’m not sure I could’ve had that conversation with anyone else. The next day he brought me a bouquet of flowers that he’d picked from the field up near his cabin. Forget-me-nots, lupine, and prickly roses. The colors were insane. I think he thought my question was because I was feeling lost, and the flowers were his way of letting me know he’d found me. The truth is, I wasn’t lost at all. I just like hearing Liam talk… about everything.
“You can tell me what you’re thinking,” I press, desperate for whatever information I can get. “Why would he have the phones? Why did he make me believe I was the cause of their death?”
Why do I still believe him?
Liam stares toward me. “I honestly don’t know, Aspyn. We need more information, but if I were guessing, I’d say Ryan wanted to do things his way with the company, so he lied to keep you away. It’s fucked up and we need to confront him.”
Though, it’s not a completely uncalculated idea, I don’t see Ryan being that insane. Sure, he has always been money hungry, and sure, he wanted to run the business in his own way, but he wouldn’t lie to me about something so major.
“I’m his sister. He wouldn’t do that. He looks out for me. He always has. When he got a hint that Jake and I were dating, he lost it. He’s always been protective. That’s why he sent me away. He didn’t want me getting into trouble.”
Liam nods but says nothing, and the silence around me tells a story I can’t help but unravel. These men that I love, my brother’s best friends, the guys I’ve trusted with everything in my life, believe that my brother is lying to me.
“Why don’t you come talk to the judge in town. I know him personally,” Ranger says. “You can tell him your story and he can reassure you that you’ve done nothing illegal.”
“It’s a good idea, Aspyn,” Jake adds. “After that, we can talk about why Ryan did this. But right now, you have to know you didn’t do anything wrong.”
I suck in air, but I can’t get a breath. “I still sent the text. The last thing I said to my parents was still awful. They’re still,” I swallow hard, “dead.”
Jake wraps me against his chest and rests his chin on the top of my head. “My little cat, you’re gonna be okay. I promise. We’ll keep you safe.”
Feeling safe in someone’s energy is highly underrated. It’s a peace and warmth that can’t be faked. It’s a home in and of itself. I don’t doubt for a second that I’m safe with Jake, Ranger, and Liam.
The problem is, I don’t know if they’re safe with me.