Chapter Ten
Molly
I’m pregnant. I stare down at two pink lines on the stick in front of me, one a little darker than the other. I think I might pass out.
“Do you think it’s a mistake? I mean, maybe it’s a false positive. People get false positives all the time, right?” I know I’m grasping at straws, but straws are all I have left. I can’t be pregnant. I can’t even take care of myself. How the hell am I going to take care of a whole human being?
Rhett hasn’t let me go since we stepped back into the cabin. “Well, Maverick said you were sick this morning on the way to work. Have you been feeling sick for a while?”
“Yes… but it’s stress. I know it’s stress. I can’t…” I huff and say, “It’s stress.”
“Or you’re pregnant.”
“Why is today so fucking awful? The shop is going to close, Tyler is using my likeness to trick men into sending him money, and now I’m pregnant with his baby.”
“How do you know it’s his?”
I see what Rhett’s doing, but it’s not going to work.
I turn my gaze downward and shake my head. “We know it’s his.”
“Do we? You left him. He doesn’t deserve to be involved, and we’re already doing a thing. Seems pretty straightforward to me.”
“Are you forgetting the part where you’re my brother’s best friend or the fact that you’re so much older than me? Not to mention that I’m a fucked-up mess who can’t figure which of three men she’s in love with, so she fell for them all? I’m pretty sure no one wants to raise that woman’s baby.”
“You’re okay.” He lands his hand on the small of my back, rubbing gently. I’m not sure what I’d do without him. Hell, I’d probably still be with Tyler, trying to convince myself that all the yelling and heartache is what love feels like.
God, what am I going to do? I’m about to lose my shop, I have nowhere to live, and as much as I love Rhett, I can’t transfer all my responsibilities onto him.
“Where’s Maverick?”
“He had a call come in. He’ll be in Rugged Mountain the rest of the night.” Rhett leans back in the recliner by the fireplace and pulls me onto his lap. “Holden should be here any minute now. Are you going to tell him about the baby?”
The baby. It’s not just a pregnancy. There’s a human child growing inside of me. The panic comes back again, but Rhett senses my stress before it gets out of control and lands his hand on my stomach, rubbing in small circles as the fireplace crackles beside us.
This is what I’ve always wanted. A big, giant of a man who wants to hold me.
That’s all I’ll ever need.
My mind flutters sideways, and for a second, I picture a random Christmas morning with Rhett and I snuggled up like this while our kids tear open gifts that were left under the tree. The house smells like pine and cinnamon, and though we love watching the kids open gifts, we love sitting in this chair rocking even more.
A single finger drags up the center of my back before Rhett’s lips land on my forehead. “What are you thinkin’ about, trouble?”
“About us.”
“What about us?” His voice is rough and graveled.
I can’t help but smile. “I was just picturing us right here with a houseful of kids.”
“A houseful now? I guess I need to get to that addition. We’ll need rooms for everyone, and I reckon a bigger kitch—”
The doorbell rings and the warm comfort I’d been enjoying runs for the hills as anxiety sleds on in. It’s not that I don’t want to see Holden. I do. Leaving his office today was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but I’m completely unhinged right now, and I don’t want to ruin his life and all he’s worked for. Besides that, I’ve never seen him outside the brick walls of that old bank.
How do I stand? Should I have changed my clothes, done my hair, or fixed my makeup? It was okay this morning, but I’ve been crying on and off all day long. I’m sure I look like a mess. Then again, I looked like a mess earlier too.
Rhett stands from the chair, spilling me into a standing position. “You okay?” His hands cup my face as he stares down at me. “Hold my hand. I’ll be right here next to you.”
I do as he’s asked, losing my hand in his giant palm as we walk away from the heat of the fireplace toward the door where Holden stands on the other side in dark wash jeans and a button down that’s rolled up at the sleeves, displaying the tattoos that had been hidden earlier, and his MC cut. It’s him, but it’s… not.
“Molly.” Holden’s deep voice is immediately soothing, but it’s strange to see him here like this, outside of his office, in the real world.
I really should seek out another therapist. This time, a female for sure. An older woman who has old-fashioned sensibilities. Someone who can talk some sense into me. Someone who can steer me back toward reality and away from the dirty, filthy thoughts I’m currently having about these three men.
“Brave man riding in this weather.” Rhett holds out his hand and they do the obligatory man handshake. It’s a short and firm sort of move that makes both their biceps flex, and makes me, well… horny, though that could be stress talking again. Right now, I’d pay these men to take me away to a place where I could forget about all the changes happening around me.
“Ah, it’s a nice night. I wouldn’t have ridden in that shit that was fallin’ yesterday. This time of year it’s just nice to get a ride in when you can.” Holden clears his throat and glances toward me before reaching out for a hug. He presses his giant body firmly against mine and holds me so tight that I feel the bulge of his cock against my thigh. He’s not hard, but he’s there. Very, very, noticeably there.
He groans low as he steps back and lets out a sigh as though letting go is a chore he isn’t ready to do yet.
Rhett picks up on this too and his arms go folded in front of his widening chest, reminding me of the day he gave me the redneck stitches out at the lake. He was extra protective of me that night. I think he was afraid I was going to hurt myself again, so he kept everyone at bay until I fell asleep. Then, he slept beside me on the bedroom floor. Looking back, that had to of been torture. The floors at that lake cabin were lumpy as hell. I bet they were cold, too.
“Welcome to the mess that is my life.” I let out a quick breath as I stare at Holden. I need to keep this short and sweet. The conversation we had earlier was clear. No matter what Holden and I feel for each other, there’s no future for us. There can’t be. If I care about him, I need to respect that and give him space.
Easier said than done, especially with all these escape fantasies rattling through my brain. Also, he shouldn’t be allowed to walk around in jeans that tight.
“Rhett already told me news about Tyler being a catfishing asshole. I don’t need to talk about it if that’s what you’re here for.”
Holden narrows his eyes. “You sure about that? It’s a pretty big deal. You’ve always been really serious about your privacy.”
“Well, now my tits are out there for everyone to see… so, yeah. I should’ve known he was doing something stupid. The man went years without taking a single photo of me, then all the sudden, he wanted pictures.” I sigh. “Anyway… I really don’t want to talk about it tonight, so what else you got?”
I glance toward Rhett then Holden, trying not to imagine the fantasy where they undress me and each have their way with my body. One by one they lick me from head to toe and breathe their hot breath all over my desperate skin. But again, that’s only a fantasy.
“You mind if I sit?” Holden settles in the armchair next to the kitchen, holding a beer in his hand. I didn’t notice he had one. Rhett must have given it to him when I went into my little lick me from head-to-toe fantasy. God, hopefully I wasn’t drooling. I wipe my sleeve over my chin just to be sure, then join the guys in the living room.
Holden holds my gaze and leans forward. “I assume we’ll talk about what happened with Tyler in therapy tomorrow. Does that work? It should give you some time to process everything.”
“ We were done with therapy, right? I thought…” I clear my throat, unsure of how to word what happened. I don’t want to throw him to the wolves, though I don’t think Rhett would say anything.
Holden leans forward slightly, brushing his hand down over his short beard. “Can I be blunt?”
I pause, unsure of what comes after a question like that. Why do I hope it’s something sexual?
“Please.” I’ve said the word, but my stomach flips and tightens as though I should’ve shown him the door instead. This day has been weird enough. I’m not sure I can take anymore.
Holden’s gaze locks with mine. “After our session today, I did a lot of thinking.”
“Yeah?”
“Yes,” he clears his throat, “and I have a proposition.”
I open my mouth to speak, but the word ‘proposition’ has every drop of wetness accumulating in my groin, so there’s nothing left to lubricate my throat.
Rhett squeezes my shoulder and speaks for me. “What kind of proposition are we talking about?”
“It’s simple.” Holden speaks clear and confident as though he’s practiced this speech a million times over. “I’m in love with you, Molly. This feeling is here and real, and it’s not going away. Unfortunately, an outward relationship with you would mean my license, my practice, my livelihood. I haven’t found a way around all that yet. So… I’m asking for one night a week. One night where I get you. All of you. We meet privately here, or at the clubhouse, or even in my office.”
Rhett laughs. “Umm… what?”
I open my mouth again, then smack my lips together trying to find wetness to speak, but nothing comes out. And truthfully, I’m not sure what I’d say if it did.
Rhett stares down at me, holding his breath for a long moment before finally looking back toward Holden. “Are you crazy, man?”
“I think so.” He clears his throat and leans his back against the winged chair in the corner of the room. “I’ve never felt like this before. It’s… the urge is uncontrollable, like nothing else can be right until I have her.” Holden’s gaze meets mine with heat. “I can stay away and tell you I don’t want you, but we both know saying the words don’t make them true.”
Swallowing hard, I stay locked on Holden’s gaze. “I don’t want you to lose everything. The risk is too much. Tyler is looking for reasons to fuck with me right now. If he finds out—”
“He won’t. We’ll be careful. If… I’m sorry.” Holden clears his throat. “That’s assuming this is something you’re interested in.”
“You know I am. I just… I’m worried for you. You’ve worked so hard.”
“He’s right, Molly.” Rhett lands his hand on my back. “If this is something you want, we can make it happen.”
“What?”
“Your harem. I think you’re fantasizing about it because you need support. Holden, Maverick, and I offer different forms of that. You deserve it all,” he glances toward Holden, “but you can’t be a temporary thing here. If you want her, you have to commit all the way.”
“He can’t! He’s worked too—”
“I like this guy, Molly.” Holden grins and tugs on his ear. “He’s right. And to be clear, my love for Molly isn’t temporary. It’s real and I have every intention of having her forever, if she’ll have me. But… it’s going to take time to do this gently. I need to safeguard my career as well.”
Rhett nods as though he’s thinking over his next step. I love that he loves me like I’m his to shield, physically and emotionally.
I know I fantasized about this, but I never considered what love had to do with it. I only thought about the beginning and the end. The sex and the family, never the awkward in-between. Never the part where you have to declare your love for multiple men at once. Never the part where you’re sitting on your brother’s best friend’s couch, against his chest, and your therapist is declaring his love, all while you sort of wish the third guy who is broken as fuck would come over so you could do this all at once.
Yeah… I never thought of that.
I swallow hard and stare up at Rhett, still unable to speak.
He holds me against his chest as he looks toward Holden. “You’re the one with the mind degree. Do you really believe this whole harem thing is a good idea? I don’t want her hurt.”
“I don’t want her hurt either. I’ve done some extensive research on polyamory and it’s a mixed bag. Some folks love it in theory, but in practicality, it’s often a trainwreck,” he sighs. “There are instances where it works perfectly, but they’re few and far between. Unfortunately, I don’t see any other alternative. If I didn’t need her as badly as I do, I wouldn’t be here.”
Rhett groans under his breath and twists toward me. I know none of this is easy for him, which puts a spotlight even more prominently on how much he loves me. His actions have always spoken louder than his words. “What are your thoughts, trouble?”
“I’m thinking,” the words come out in a whisper, “I… I’d like that. All of you or both of you. I mean…” I nearly choke trying to swallow down the guilt of wanting them all, but I do. I don’t want Rhett to think he’s not good enough on his own, because he is. So is Maverick. So is Holden. They’re all perfect in their own way and I’m beyond lucky to get an ounce of their affection.
Holden nods slowly, biting back a grin. “Good girl. You know I’m proud of you for all the work you’ve done lately.” There it is again. That comforting, fatherly way of speaking that has me desperate to get down on my knees and suck his cock like a good little girl.
Rhett glances toward me, his voice low and husky as he says, “I don’t want to lose you.” Words like this aren’t easy for Rhett, and I know it took a lot to say them.
I twist toward him, straddling his lap, my hands on either side of his face. “I don’t want to lose you. If this is too much, I’ll stop.” Saying the words leaves a pit in my stomach because as much as I love Rhett, as much history as we’ve had, I can’t deny what I feel for Holden, and what intense sparks I felt with Maverick.
“Be honest with me.” Rhett holds his hand over my throat. “Do you want him? Can you love us all?”
My clit throbs as I grind unintentionally into Rhett’s lap. “I hope so. I want to. I want to make you feel more loved than you’ve ever felt. I want you all to feel safe with me, too.”
Rhett glances at me. His eyes are hooded, drunk on something I don’t even think he understands. “Show me what you’d do to him. Go on, trouble. Touch Holden. Put on a show for me.”
My gaze draws up to Rhett’s and my heart slams so hard against my ribcage I’m not sure it’s ever going to beat right again. “What do you mean?”
“You heard me. Do the thing you do to make me feel good. Show him what he can have.” Rhett’s cheeks are red and warm.
“What? While you watch? ”
He nods slowly. “Yeah.”
“But… you’re supposed to join. That’s… I don’t want to leave you out.”
“And I will… in time. Right now, I want to watch my girl.” He kisses my forehead gently. “So… make him come hard. I know you can.”
I hold Rhett’s stare for a moment longer, searching his eyes for anything that would tell me he wasn’t as into this as much as he claims to be, but there’s something there. A spark, a hunger, a desperation to watch me with Holden. An undeniable urge to watch me get this man off.
Swallowing hard, I climb up off Rhett’s lap and turn toward Holden, desperate to cross lines we’ve never crossed, but nervous for Rhett to watch. And though I know there are parts of my reality I’m leaving out of this conversation, I pull forward, full steam ahead, letting the fantasy relieve every bit of stress I’ve been holding onto.