Chapter 5 #2
“Damn.” He dragged a hand through his hair then grimaced when he tracked dirt alongside it. “I don’t understand why she can’t leave some shit alone.”
“You knew what she was like from the beginning.”
“Some bull is easier to discuss than others.”
“She said something about animal fighting?”
“Fuck’s sake!”
“They share everything.” Brennan took a bite of a brownie when I frowned at him.
“You hurt her, Aidan.”
“I didn’t mean to.”
I arched a brow. “That doesn’t make it better.”
His gaze dropped to the table. “Some shit, I don’t want to share with her.
Some shit, I want to spare her from. This fucking city is riddled with corruption and horrible, horrible crap.
Is it too much to want to come home and just be with her?
Not have her pepper me with goddamn questions about things that’ll screw with her head? ”
“Mostly, he was pissed she knew something he didn’t,” Brennan taunted.
“Fuck you!”
“Have you talked to her about this?” I interrupted with a glare at the pair of them.
“No.”
“Then how is she supposed to know how you feel?”
He harrumphed.
“You might think you’re protecting her. You might even think that you just want her to be your safe space, Aidan. But if you don’t tell her, she can never get with the program.” While he blinked at me, I continued, “And what happened between you two?”
“We couldn’t pinpoint a location where Savannah said the illegal fights are happening,” Brennan drawled.
“So there is a place in the tristate area holding those kinds of… events?”
“Hmm.”
I rolled my eyes at the nonanswer. “You were trying to shut them down?”
“Of course. That shit’s fucking obscene.
I’ll watch two men fight to the death because they chose to be so goddamn dumb.
Two dogs didn’t have a choice,” Aidan snapped.
“Savannah told me this was happening. My wife. And she cried, Camille. She was in tears. Her massive heart was breaking and I couldn’t fucking—”
When he broke off and sucked in a sharp breath, I patted his shoulder. “Aidan?”
“What?”
“You were coming from a good place, but you communicated that to her poorly. She was already sad about the brutal reality of life in NYC and you made that worse. Things like this hit differently when you’re a mom.
Knowing the world you brought a child into is rotten to the core makes you bear the weight of it like it’s your own sin.
” Boy, did I feel that burden every day.
“You need to apologize to her, tell her that you’re trying to make it right and that you only got angry because you want to protect her and Third.
Take chocolates too—she was well into the desserts by the time we left. ”
“That’s it?”
I shrugged. “Be sincere.”
“I’ve never been in the doghouse with her before. Not really.” He scratched his chin. “We always just jump straight to the make-up sex.”
“As Star told her, that’s because she thinks with her clitoris.” At his smirk, I tutted. “The clitoris is disengaged. Don’t be a jerk. Just be kind. And apologize.
“If you pick a fight with my husband tomorrow because you had to spend another night alone and because you guys can’t find an illegal fight in a haystack, then potatoes are the least of your worries.”
His grin was sharper than a blade. “I have my orders, huh?”
Brennan smirked. “She comes by it honestly.”
Aidan rapped his knuckles on the table then got to his feet. “Can I blame you if it doesn’t work?”
“Of course it’ll work.”
Aidan dipped down to kiss my cheek. “Thanks for the advice.”
I nodded. “See you later.”
“Yup. Bye, fucker.”
“Bye, shitface.”
Their farewells had me huffing, but not before I squealed as Brennan yanked me onto his lap through some feat that defied the laws of physics.
He cupped my cheeks. “Was it hard?”
“Was what hard?”
“When you fell from heaven, baby.”
Though I burst out laughing, I gently brushed my fingers over one of the newer bruises on his throat of all places. “You crackpot.”
“Your crackpot.”
“Agreed. Aidan’s lucky I fed him and didn’t poison him.” At his arched brow, I groused, “You have more bruises than him.”
“What have we learned in the gym?”
“You can bend me over the treadmill as easily as you can bend me over the bed?”
He shot me a cocky smile. “What else?”
“Ahhh, you mean his damage is below the collar?”
“If he isn’t pissing blood all week, then my name’s not Brennan O’Donnelly.”
“So, what you’re telling me is that I’m going to get a call from Savannah when she realizes she can bounce on her husband’s dick again and it’s not fully functioning?”
“Hey, it’ll function. It’s his kidneys I rearranged. You don’t need kidneys to fuck.”
“Every science teacher in the country just groaned.”
“Then I did them proud.”
My lips quirked as I settled into the snug fit of his lap and the nook between him and the table. “You okay? I heard some of what you said.”
“He drives me crazy.” His gaze shifted to stare over the expanse of the city behind me. “No change there. I’ll be screaming into the void about this for fucking years. Don’t worry about it.”
“I do though.” I sighed and rested my head between his throat and shoulder, where it scented of bergamot and orange. Which meant he kinda smelled like my favorite Earl Grey, and that was not a complaint. Knowing him, it was intentional too. “I always worry about you, Brennan. I love you.”
He managed to press another kiss to my forehead. “I love you too, Camille.”
“I’m here, you know?”
“I know, but for once, I get where Aidan’s coming from. It’s so fucking shit out there, Camille, and sparing you from that feels like my goddamn husbandly duty.” His shoulders slumped. “Like, it’s never been good, but somehow it’s getting worse. There’s no honor anymore—”
“There never was!” I hooted. “Animal baiting is hardly new, love. Disgusting, yes, but not new. My father used to have a place he went to in Russia because the ones here tended to be raided. It’s horrific.
That you and the rest of your brothers have standards makes you infinitely better than the men who ruled before you. ”
“Don’t make out like we’re the good guys, babe,” he said dryly.
“Oh, I’m well aware of the many and varied ways you all do vile shit, but…
” I hitched a shoulder. “…you have to understand. My father was an abusive asshole who tormented my mother into an early grave. He broke her systemically, until she was nothing more than something for him to toy with. Inessa doesn’t remember half the horrors he put our mother through.
“Your da loved Lena but his world still broke her.
“Just by giving a damn about your family, by having wives you love and who you shelter from your business, kids you protect and value as more than future heirs, means you’ll make a change.”
“You’re an idealist, and you’re painting us with halos we don’t deserve. But… thank you.”
I didn’t know how long we sat there. I just knew that his arms remained fixed around me for a long time.
For me, forever wouldn’t be enough.
I told him as much, and his laughter was as gruff as his earlier words, so I chided, “You’re doing something right.”
He sighed. “As long as you think so, baby. You’re the only one who matters.”
And I felt that in my soul.