Chapter 4
CHAPTER FOUR
RAVEN
“T ypical man,” Beckett muttered under her breath as she got off the phone, my heart sinking as she added, “One fight with you, that was his fault in the first place I might add, and he’s in the fucking whorehouse drowning his sorrows.”
“Ander’s at Wet Dreams?” I asked, trying to keep the emotion out of my voice.
It hurt. Badly.
Was he paying for a lap dance, or was he losing himself in one of the girls to make himself feel better?
Was this why he couldn't talk earlier? He was too busy getting naked with someone else?
“Why would you get a call about him being at Wet Dreams?” Logan asked suspiciously, moving to stand beside me.
“It was Marco. He called to tell me there’s been a murder there and the place is on lockdown. Seems Dante killed one of the girls and ran.” My heart hurt for Ander without my permission, and Beckett gave me a dirty look. “He’s in the strip club, Raven. Don’t pity him.”
“Maddox is always at the strip club on business,” Jett called out from the living room, making Beckett’s teeth clench.
“Your point?”
“Everyone does business there. It’s discreet. Do you want them all living here forever? Stop interfering,” he chuckled as he walked in. “Besides, I’ve barely ever seen Ander fuck the girls. You’re putting shit in her head.”
“But you have seen him with them?” I asked, glancing over as he cringed.
“Yeah. Him and Riley used to hang out there a lot. Ask your other guys, they went there a bunch with him too.”
“Thanks a lot,” Logan muttered, but he gave me a firm look. “It was mostly to just hang out. It wasn’t like we had the money to waste on shit like that, and Lavaro paid girls half the time just so they could have an hour’s break. He respects the girls, that’s all. No matter what, I know he wouldn’t touch them behind your back.”
My fingers twitched to call him again, but he’d said he’d call me back when he could.
Zane had left, which made me nervous. Could he do something to Ander at Wet Dreams? Surely Archer wouldn’t allow something to go down in his club.
My phone rang, startling me, and confusion hit me when Diesel’s name popped up on the screen. I answered it, pressing it to my ear and walking towards the bedroom for privacy.
“Are you with him?” I asked without greeting, holding my breath until he replied.
“Yeah. Marco said he called Beckett, so I assumed Beckett told you Ander was here,” he said knowingly, his voice full of tension. “Beckett doesn’t know, but we had a meeting with him and Dante.”
“He was there with you guys? Not the girls?”
I hated how anxious I sounded, but he didn’t seem to mind.
“He arrived with Dante after we did, and he’s been with us ever since. I’m not trying to get involved with your relationship, but I don’t want you thinking he was stepping out on you. I can’t explain a lot of what’s happening right now, but he’s okay. The only money he exchanged with the girls was when he was with me. He apparently likes to help them sometimes, so he gave Peaches some bills to split with the other girls. It wasn’t in exchange for services though.”
My eyes burned with relief, and I swallowed around the lump in my throat. “Dante?—”
“Later,” he cut in, reminding me we couldn’t talk freely. “Frank’s coming home in an hour, so meet us at the house. Some of the guys are there to let you in.”
“You’ll tell me about what’s happened?”
“I shouldn’t, but yes. It involves you,” he said vaguely, muttering to someone before adding, “I need to go. Don’t worry about Ander though.”
I thanked him and let him go, staring at the phone as it disconnected.
How had he known I was freaking out?
Why hadn’t they told Beckett about the meeting?
“What’s wrong?” Reid asked, my eyes lifting to the door to find him standing there with a worried frown. When I didn’t speak, he closed the door for privacy and walked towards me, not hesitating to pull me against his chest. “Talk to me.”
“Diesel wanted me to know that Ander didn’t touch the girls,” I mumbled, sliding my arms around him to bury my face in his chest. “I hate this. I always gave insecure girls shit for acting like this. He lied to me. To all of us. I should be happy if he’s fucked off.”
“You want relationship advice?”
“From a manwhore? Sure, why not,” I joked, making him chuckle as he gently slid his fingers through my hair to pull my head back so that I was holding his gaze.
“You don’t just stop loving someone who hurt you,” he said, regret in his eyes when I snorted. “I know that’s not news to you, but it’s okay to feel conflicted about your feelings right now. I’m beyond pissed with him, and I don’t trust him as far as I can kick him, but I don’t want anything bad to happen to him either. He’s family.”
“What do we do? Dante obviously fucked him over, so do we go to him?” I asked, chewing my lip nervously. “What if he was in on it?”
Reid stared at me for a second before speaking, his voice low. “Do you really think Ander’s in on it?”
I didn’t. My heart hurt from him lying to us, but I was certain his reasons for it were the truth.
We’d been going back and forth about it all day while we waited for a call from Ander.
“I think he told us the truth yesterday,” I finally sighed.
“Me too. We need to sit down with him and talk again, especially now Dante’s turned on him. Did Diesel say why Ander was at Wet Dreams to begin with?”
I glanced at the closed door, wondering if Beckett was on the other side eavesdropping, and Reid walked me backwards to the opposite wall, seeming to understand my concern.
“Beckett doesn’t know,” I whispered, feeling bad for keeping it from her, but knowing there was a reason they didn’t tell her. “Rory had a meeting with Dante and Ander. That’s why they were all there in the first place.”
“They’re not going after Ander?”
“At the moment, no. Diesel said he’d fill me in tonight,” I replied, giving him a nervous glance. “I want to talk to Ander alone too. About me and him. I don’t want to fight you on it, but?—”
“I don’t think he’s dangerous. He’d rather die than hurt you. His loyalty to Dante is what’s got me worried though. He wouldn’t intentionally get you into trouble, but he’s blindly following his brother. We need to be careful with that.”
“You’ll let me talk alone with him though?”
“One thing I’ve learned over the past few months is that I don’t have to let you do anything. You’re an adult, and keeping you wrapped in bubble wrap isn’t keeping you safe, it’s making you resent me. Do I want you going off alone with him? No. I’d love it if you’d meet up with him somewhere public and sit in a booth together so we can watch from a distance though.”
His jaw was tight and his voice was tense, a small smirk taking over my face.
“That was really hard to say, wasn’t it?”
“I promised I’d try to not be such a controlling asshole. This is me trying,” he huffed, leaning down to kiss me. “You want to talk about Logan?”
“What about him?”
“I know it’s not really my business, but I love you both. You’ll take him back, right?” I stiffened in his arms and he continued. “I don’t mean right this second. Once you guys talk things out a little more. He won’t admit it, but he’s hurting seeing all of us together with him still on the outs.”
“The shit between us has been discussed multiple times, but it’s not my fault that he’s hurting. He did that to himself,” I hissed, pulling away from him. “Of course I love Logan, I always will, but I’m not there yet.”
He cringed, crossing his arms. “I’m not trying to push you, I promise.”
“It feels like it.”
“I’m fucking this up,” he groaned, moving to sit on the edge of the bed. “You’re not the type to play games, I’m not accusing you of that. I just wanted to know if you intend on getting back with him eventually. Not just because I’m his friend, but also because I’m your boyfriend and I like to know what I’m in for. I want you both happy.”
“I need you to see this from my perspective. Logan has been my best friend forever. I gave him my virginity, and I fell hard for him once we took that step. I know he didn’t mean to make me sound like a fling, but I can’t just erase how I felt when I thought I’d just been an achievement to him and a trophy in the fight amongst you guys. I don’t want to feel like that when I look at him, but it’s hard. He wants to build trust with me again, and it’s a good idea. I’m a girl, surprisingly, so I’m hormonal about it and want to make sure we do things the right way this time. He hurt me more than you did because he already had me when it went to shit.”
“No one’s surprised that you’re a girl,” he said dryly, taking my hand and pulling me closer so I was standing between his legs. “Would you like us to all go out together when it’s safe to?”
“Like a date?”
“Yeah. We could go see a movie and do dinner, even if it’s the drive-in and getting burgers to eat in the car on the way home,” he suggested, reaching up to tug the ends of my hair gently.
“We can’t afford?—”
“We can, Raven. I’ll organize something.”
“How about we go to the track soon? Just to hang out without the stress?”
I could tell that wasn’t what he wanted, but he shrugged. “If that’s what you want.”
“I just want things to feel normal,” I mumbled, his face softening.
“Me too, baby.”
“We should get going. It’s getting late, and Diesel said the kids will be at their house soon.”
“Grab your stuff. I need to stop by Riley’s to grab a few things on the way,” he said as I turned to grab my things. Not having our own place was getting uncomfortable. I didn’t care if it was a tiny house with peeling wallpaper and a mattress on the floor, as long as it was our own space.
Beckett was still cursing Ander out under her breath when we returned to the kitchen, and Logan appeared beside me and leaned down to talk. “You okay?”
“Yeah. We’d better head to Rory’s. Diesel said they’d meet us there after,” I replied, taking his hand and giving it a small squeeze before letting it go again.
He shared a silent conversation with Reid, but Zavier took my bags and gave me a grin. “I think we should convince one of the guys to give us their keys so we can go for a quickie.”
“Not happening. You’re with me, Lopez. I need to stop at Riley’s on the way,” Reid stated, and I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at his attempt to put me and Logan together.
I didn’t mind, but I wasn’t having a quickie with him either.
Zavier grumbled but agreed, handing my bags to Logan, who happily took them.
“I’ll see you guys there,” Beckett said without looking up from her phone, texting someone so aggressively that I was surprised her screen didn’t crack.
Zavier and Reid headed off before us, and Logan took his time as he pulled out onto the road, savoring the alone time together. I wasn’t immune to him, his cologne soothing my emotions as he blindly reached over to rest a hand on my thigh.
At first, I tensed, but I relaxed under his touch a moment later and threaded my fingers through his, holding his hand. He didn’t push for conversation, just happy to be in my company.
“You know I love you, right?” I said to break the silence, his hand tightening in mine.
“I know. I love you too.”
“I’m not keeping you at a distance to be a bitch.”
He glanced over at me with a small frown. “I don’t think that. Did someone say I did?”
“No. Reid just?—”
“Listen to me carefully,” he said calmly, returning his eyes to the road. “I don’t care what Reid or anyone else thinks about our relationship. It’s between you and me, no one else. If you need time, then you take the time. Does Reid think having one big orgy will fucking fix everything? It won’t. Do I miss being intimate with you? Every damn day. But until you’re ready to go back to that, I won’t push for it. Reid needs to back off instead of trying to guilt you into taking me back. That’s not what I want.”
I sensed him glance at me a few times after that, but I stayed silent as I looked out the window in thought. This was what made me believe that Logan’s feelings for me had been genuine, he always knew the right thing to say, and part of me was wondering why I even wanted the space between us.
I wasn’t a pushover, but it wasn’t like Logan was trying to convince me to take him back, it was almost like he was convincing me not to.
We arrived at Rory’s before the guys, and Logan had barely parked the car when I leaned over and kissed him. He kissed me back hesitantly, keeping his hands off me until I moved onto his lap, then his hands carefully moved to my hips as he slid his tongue into my mouth.
Logan was my home, he always would be, and tears pricked my eyes as relief flared inside me at the familiar feeling.
“Hey,” Logan murmured, making me realize one of the tears had leaked out and he’d caught me. “What’s wrong?”
I shook my head and pulled back, but he wasn’t letting me escape. He moved the seat back to make more space, sliding an arm around me to keep me in place.
“I’m just a mess,” I said, choking on a laugh and wiping my eyes.
“Because of us,” he reminded me, cupping the back of my head to bring me closer, my face nestled in the crook of his neck. “Whether you hate me, love me, are sad or angry with me, I will always be there to pick you back up when you fall. Just talk to me so I know what’s wrong.”
“I just want you, and I hate myself for that because I’ve always given girls shit for stuff like this,” I sniffled, and I swore the prick chuckled.
“You have me.” I looked up, and he wiped my tears with his thumbs. “Let’s get inside. We can talk about this tonight when we go to bed if you want?”
He was right, we could deal with my meltdowns later.
He took my chin and gave me another kiss, speaking against my lips. “I love you, Rae.”
I weakened more, my hips rolling slightly on instinct as I kissed him back a little harder, a knock on the window startling me.
Skeeter gave me an emotionless look as I opened the door to climb out, his voice flat. “Don’t fuck in my driveway. There’s kids here.”
“I thought they were gone?”
“We’ve still got the creepy one who’s at the age where he only thinks with his dick,” Skeeter deadpanned, motioning to the window to rat Noah out for watching. He ducked out of view when we turned to him, making Logan snort.
“Let him watch. Maybe he’ll get the hint that he can’t have her.”
“Sure, Noah’s the problem here,” Skeeter muttered as a car pulled in. I looked over to see a van stop behind us, the door opening as Frank climbed out. He impatiently waited for Rory to get Lara out of the carseat, then they headed in our direction.
Frank was tense as he looked around, but his shoulders relaxed slightly when he moved in front of me.
“You’re staying tonight?” he asked, taking Lara and cradling her protectively against his chest.
“We are. Reid and Zavier are coming too,” I answered with a small smile, reaching out to tickle Lara under the chin. She giggled, making Frank relax more.
“Head inside,” Rory encouraged us, taking Skeeter’s hand. “You can help me unload the van, Skeeter Maddox. I need to have a word with you.”
He grabbed the back of her neck in silent warning and steered her towards the van, their quiet argument amusing me. I saw it in her eyes, she liked fighting him for dominance.
Logan went to take my hand but pulled away at the last second, so I grabbed it to let him know it was fine. I liked his touch, needed it, and I felt like holding his hand grounded me a little as we made our way into the massive house.
Frank’s eyes were wide as he walked with us, taking it all in for the first time. If a house like this intimidated me, I couldn’t imagine how it felt for a kid to walk in here.
Noah sat in the living room on the couch, his eyes fixed on the TV and acting like he hadn’t heard us walk in.
“Hey, perv,” I teased when he continued to ignore us, motioning to Frank and Lara. “This is Frank and his sister Lara. They’re staying here awhile.”
He slid his gaze to mine, his cheeks heating a little. “I wasn’t perving.”
“Sure,” I said dryly, turning my attention to Frank. “This is Noah. He’s a foster kid too.”
Frank took a step closer to me, his expression guarded. “Are his parents pieces of shit too?”
“The only parents I have are Rory and the guys,” Noah said sharply, a similar expression taking over his face.
“When did they start fostering you? They let you stay even though you’re older? Most foster homes don’t like older kids. They only like the cute babies,” Frank said curiously, and I gave Noah a pointed look to be nice. Frank was a tough kid, but he was scared of being in this massive house and possibly being kicked out while his sister got to stay.
It was every neglected kid’s nightmare.
Noah took a second before replying, forcing himself to relax a little. “Almost five months ago. They’re really nice. A lot of them were street kids themselves with shitty parents, so I think that helps them understand who gets left behind. I turned seventeen in February, and they said I can stay even once I’m eighteen. They help people get their own houses and everything when they age out of the system.”
“They won’t kick me out and keep Lara?” Frank asked quietly, sitting on the couch as Lara started fussing.
“Nah. They like to keep family together. A lot of kids have come through here, and they never split them up. Want me to show you the house? It’s huge. They have a theater room and everything.”
Frank instantly looked at me, and I nodded. “Noah’s cool. I can hold Lara while you go and look around if you want?”
He hesitated, not wanting to take his eyes off his sister for a second, but he finally stood and offered her to me.
I watched them wander off, not being able to help it as I snuggled Lara a little. She’d been bathed, her hair smelled like baby shampoo, and her little hand that wasn’t in a cast lifted to touch my face as she giggled.
I looked at Logan and found him already watching me with a weird look on his face. He somehow looked happy, devastated, and in awe at the same time.
“What?” I asked, rearranging my hold on Lara to sit her up a little.
“Nothing,” he murmured, my attention moving behind him as Reid and Zavier walked in.
“Where’s Frank?” Reid asked as he looked around, and I smiled.
“Noah’s showing him around.”
“At least there’s someone around that can play video games with him. Noah’s a good kid,” Zavier said as he walked over and dropped a kiss on my temple.
More people were coming inside, so we joined them in the kitchen, where Beckett was arguing with Riley.
“Don’t you fucking dare,” Beckett bit out, not bothered when Riley got in her face and shoved her back a little.
“Stay out of it. He’s my friend.”
“He’s a lying bucket of shit. What happens when his daddy kicks your door down, huh? God knows what he could do to you or Luna. Are you really willing to risk her for Lavaro?”
“He’s alone, Beckett. He needs somewhere to stay.”
“If I find out he’s there, I’m coming over to put a bullet in him. He’s fucked with my family for too long, and it ends now. You’re just a pawn in his game,” Beckett sneered, but Rory walked in with Skeeter and scowled.
“Would both of you stop arguing? Frank and Lara don’t need to hear that shit. Besides, Beckett, I’ve already told you to stand down. Ander doesn’t get touched.”
“Mom, he’s?—”
“Beckett Donovan,” Skeeter said firmly, shutting her up instantly. “This is not a family matter, this is crew business. Slash and Hunter both agree that the best thing for the crews right now is to keep him alive, so you’re going to shut your mouth, keep your opinions to yourself, and respect the decision. That’s a direct order, understand?”
She fumed silently, muttering about going for a cigarette as she stalked off, and Skeeter let out a sigh. “I’ll deal with her. This is why it’s important to choose the mother of your children wisely, boys. Your daughters turn out like them as they get older.”
“That stabby little spitfire is all you, Skeet,” Rory replied dryly, affection simmering in her gaze. “Take her for a drive or something. We’ll meet you back here after the kids go to bed.”
He fished his keys from his pocket and glanced at Riley. “Lavaro isn’t staying at your house. That’s an order too.”
“Joke’s on you. I’m not part of your crew, so your orders don’t mean shit to me,” Riley said sweetly, and Skeeter pointed to her while looking at Rory.
“You deal with that one.”
“Sold. She’s my good child,” Rory joked, winking at Riley.
Skeeter rolled his eyes but smiled as he went in the direction that Beckett had gone, and Rory lifted her chin at me.
“Can you watch Lara while I deal with a few things? If she falls asleep, put her in the nursery. She’s been fed already.”
“I’ve got her,” I confirmed, knowing it wouldn’t take long for Lara to fall asleep from the way her eyelids kept drooping.
Rory and Riley went to talk in private, and I headed up to the nursery with Logan right behind me, Reid and Zavier getting comfortable in the kitchen to wait for everyone to be ready for the meeting.
“Where are you taking her?” Frank asked in a startled voice when I walked past a room, poking my head in to check on him. He was in Noah’s room, a game controller in hand and worry on his face as he eyed his sister.
“Getting her ready for bed. You want to come with?” I asked, knowing he’d want to know where she was sleeping.
Logan took the controller and ruffled Frank’s hair slightly, giving him a grin. “I’ll battle Noah while you’re gone.”
I wanted to let Frank be a kid, but I wasn’t going to tell him no when he reached out to take Lara from my arms to rock her himself. It would be a difficult transition for him after being her parent this whole time, but hopefully, he’d slowly let other people parent her so he could go to school and do other things.
I showed him where the nursery was, and it didn’t take long for him to get her to sleep.
He was exhausted, sitting in front of the crib to watch her sleep, and I sat with him for a while before giving his shoulder a nudge.
“We should ask Rory which room’s yours.”
“I need to stay with Lara,” he said quickly, his hands curling into fists on his lap. “I can’t?—”
“I don’t make promises I can’t keep, right?” I asked, waiting for him to nod before continuing. “I promise Rory and her family are good people. I know you don’t want to let them look after Lara, but you can let them help. You’re a kid, Frank. It’s okay for you to be one for a while. Go to school, hang out with friends, and let them watch her while you do it.”
“She’s my sister. I’m all she needs,” he said, but his voice wavered slightly.
“Exactly. Be her brother, but you don’t have to be her parent now. Maybe ask Rory about Greg coming over to game or something?”
“They’d let him?”
“I think so. If you guys don’t steal their shit or disrespect them, they’d let you do a lot. It’s hard to lean on people when you’ve only had yourself for so long, trust me, I know. Try, okay?”
He nodded, his hands relaxing a little as he looked over at me. “Do you think they’ll make me go to a fancy school? I haven’t been to school in ages. What if the kids think I’m stupid?”
“What school would you want to go to?”
“I don’t know. I don’t want a fancy private one though.”
“I don’t think they’ll force you to go to one. Ashburn Valley’s middle school is a good option.”
“I’d be by myself though,” he sighed, letting me see his anxiety. “What if?—”
“You’d make friends. If anyone’s mean, I’ll send Noah after them,” I grinned, getting to my feet. “C’mon, let’s go find your room.”
He glanced at Lara before standing, following me into the hallway and looking at all the doors. “I get my own room?”
“Absolutely,” Rory said as she appeared, giving him a smile. “You want the one next to Lara’s?”
Relief filled his face as he nodded, and I followed as Rory showed him his new room.
She was showing him how to work the TV when he glanced over his shoulder at me with a grin, and I swore it was one of the only times he’d ever looked like a kid.
He was more than happy to put on some fresh pajamas from the wardrobe and slide into bed, his eyes glued to the TV as we left him alone to go to sleep.